Is Bibleman really that bad of a TV show? No doubt it's cheesy...

Is Bibleman really that bad of a TV show? No doubt it's cheesy, but it seems like the flak is more from atheists who can't handle a dose of The Word

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This just made me flash back to playing the bibleman game on windows 95 in the late 90s

There's a channel that airs it? I thought it was like VeggieTales, a straight to video show.
The costuming is top-notch(not the new shit though), never actually watched any of it. Looks like the writing would be iffy.

>black sidekick

DEUS VULT INFIDEL

If he went around genociding mudslimes and redpilling degenerates then it would be based.

Atheist are larp fags

Shadow of doubt is my nigger

...

It's a dry Sunday school "action* movie. I got high and thought it'd be funny it is was eg

>Protestant "Films"

...

Why are so many Christians in America so fucking stupid?

...

What's this from?

and I swear to God if you fucking say Bibleman

Noah apparently.

yes what is this?

theres nothing worse than being a christian. kill yourself and your family.

(((Hollywood's))) interpretation of Noah's Ark

Book Of Enoch is boss

THIS IS WHAT CHRISTIANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

God's still not dead. The trilogy.

"I ain't dead nigga" - God

never had a chance to see it

any webm's?

youtu.be/uMmP4VDjiYY

Said every kike for the last 2,000 years. What a coincidence you morons have been kicked out of Christian countries 109 times

just kill yourself.

Bibleman and veggie tales were the shit
I had the sword and the cape and everything

your parents brainwashed you into their religious cult.

Based bible man.

Honestly, Christians need to stop trying to be cool. Christianity isn't cool. This shit is embarrassing. Stop with the Christian super heros, Christian rock, Christian rap, etc. Christianity has it's own 2000 year old culture. It doesn't need to rip off mainstream culture to appeal to people. That clearly doesn't work.

No one believes in the literal word anymore thats why they started trying to be cool. This is just your religion dying.

>This is just your religion dying.
People have been saying that Christianity is dying for a couple centuries now. It hasn't gone anywhere since those times. Maybe in some areas Christianity is becoming less popular, but the growth of Christianity in other places makes up for the losses.

Sorry, but Christianity is going to last a few more centuries, if not millennia.

so edge

>Honestly, Christians need to stop trying to be degenerate. Christianity isn't degenerate. This shit is embarrassing. Stop with the Christian super heros, Christian rock, Christian rap, etc. Christianity has it's own 2000 year old culture. It doesn't need to rip off mainstream culture to appeal to people. That clearly doesn't work.

wow you are so edgy dude

he was pretty redpilled

A man cant walk around in public with his pet nigger anymore?

how?

another christian thread.

Yet the jews kept coming back. I wonder if the christians let them back in every time? probably.

>not getting what the cover is implying

SHUT

explain it then...

He had an opponent who was a left-wing professional protester.

WTF is that a borg jew?

Hahaha shit I'm high. I was poor but mom and pod sent me to Catholic schools and i watche Jesus scream in agony. . Shit epilepsy sucks. I get weed tho

Is it possible to meme this series back to life?

Watched Jesus screaming in agony a too many damned times is what I ment to say

...

>comically long nose
>literal merchant pose
>the 6 lies
are you retarded

thats not what red pilled means though you dumb piece of shit

Seriously, where is the mandatory shoop to six million with a ben garrison signature

any photoshop fags want to give it a go

It already is, in animated form.
youtube.com/watch?v=YLj7K6F7oxY

Imagine porn acting talent when they pretend to have a plot, mix that with shakey staight square shots that look like they are filmed with a handheld camera. Imagine audio that changes levels and gets quiet when the actors turn because the staff never heard of a mic boom.

Now make it Christian and cut the sex. Now imagine it has a story that mounts a conflict, shows Bibleman posing with a light sword on the cover, and implies he fights things... then instead of an action scene, every conflict is resolved with a Bibleverse and Bibleman being a peace cuck and overcoming his anger or pride at wanting to beat the badguy.

He is the most useless do nothing hero of all time.

I am far right, and Christian, but I still have to admit this is one of the worst produced, writen, and acted shows of all time. It mostly makes money because parents pretend it's cool and pawn it off on their kids which will learn to hate it. Ask me how I know. It's bad even for Christian media.


Muh diversity
Shit music
Shit everything

Watch it for yourself.
youtube.com/watch?v=X6jYFSVtNVE

face it, the right is degenerate and should be wiped off the face of the earth.

I would do it myself if i wasnt comfy in bed, phoneposting

No, this isn't the most degenerate thing I saw. It's shit and it spreads a religious viewpoint and philosophy that I don't agree with, but it does it in such a shitty and ineffective way that I can't really get angry at it.

Bibleman.

It is. this crap from Bibleman pushes scientists as badguys constantly, and has songs about how if you have science on your mind you should read the Bible instead.

The first clue I had that this was all retarded was that I tried to read the whole Bible and I had to ask my parents about prostitutes right off the bat in Genesis, and when they awkwardly beat around the bush saying they are bad, I mention that God only killed the people that didn't lay with the prostitute. I ended up in arguments with my parents over this stuff pretty early in life. It made no sense and everything about the religion has been focused on just ignoring the problems. By hgihschool in a religious school the teachers were basically hiding or avoiding whole books. Like Ecclesiastes says not to be too good or too evil because it doesn't matter. Another part of the bible has Sampson killing civilians that did nothing wrong, so that he could take their stuff. Not just Sampson does this, but it's when the spirit of the Lord came over him. So what? God himself can possess you and kill people to rob them all because you lost a bet.. and that's holy. I brought this up with teachers, counselors, sundayschool leaders, pastors, and parents over the years legit trying to understand it better. I heard a million answers, but they all left out...

The Talmud says killing Goy is like killing an animal and is therefore not Murder. God can straight up kill non jews and it doesn't matter. Well shit.

When I say I am still Christian, it's entirely belief persistence because I was brainwashed. I can't stop.

Bible man has sold millions of copies dude. Huge megachurches throw events where the Actor will show up in costume and pose around and take pictures and talk, and they charge $100+ per ticket and sell out.

It's a huge thing for them and made a lot of money. Parents don't know what to buy for kids, so they buy this because they think it's wholesome Christian media and cool. And it's neither.

you can stop. just stop you should be pagan anyway fuck this christcuck shit

>he started with genesis
Imoutofreactionmemememes.pnjpgif

never knew this even existed. might have to check it out to trigger some people.

wow the handrubbing on that robot-jew is impressive.

search youtube for bible reloaded bibleman

>He started at the beginning.
I heard that's a good place to start.

What? I was like 10 and wanted to read it cover to cover. You start books from the front. Point is, it's like 3 pages in that already contradict common christian values and I noticed this stuff as a child.

Damn, this take me back. Bibleman was the shit back when I was a child still under the thrall of my parents' ultrachristian brainwashing. Even met the guy once on a family trip to Focus on the Family HQ in Colorado.

He was a bit of a dick though.

haha, how so?

>He was a bit of a dick though.

>be me
>easily impressionable child with full belief in creationistic Christianity because it's all I know
>not allowed to watch TMNT, Power Rangers, SWAT Cats, or any of the cool shit because Mom is hyperprotective and generally only allows rated G stuff or something with a Christian basis
>mom takes me and little brother to Focus on the Family for wholesome vacation
>Bibleman is about the most action I'm allowed, so I love it
>had his mask and "lightsaber"
>Willie Aames is there for some event, I don't think it was for Bibleman though, because he wasn't in costume
>recognize him anyway because of scenes where Bibleman is in plainclothes secret identity mode
>run up to him as he's walking up to the area where we are
>not sure what to say, so awestruck I just kinda finally ask "A-aren't you...Bibleman?!"
>not even breaking stride, Aames glances down, no eye contact, possibly aggravated, definitely exasperated, no obvious reason
>"Yeah kid, I'm Bibleman, the real thing. I. Am. THE. BIBLEMAN."
>Keeps going.
>didn't get mask signed despite obviously extending sharpie I brought from hotel. :(

>ANYTHING BUT LAZY TOWN

Willie Aames had a lot of drinking problems, may have been during a rough spot back then.

>>had his mask and "lightsaber"

If I google that and it's not called the Sword of the Spirit, FFtF has some fucking explaining to do.

*tipping intensifies*

>The Sword of the Spirit is Bibleman's main weapon. It is a handle that has a yellow blade.

well, there we go

Much later on, I came to find all that out. It would've destroyed my perception of the great Bibleman, but this was much past the point where I had begun to question my ingrained beliefs

Of course it was. The mask was a set called "the full armor of God." Each piece was named exactly after the Bible's allegorical armor, too. There was a whole budget CGI suit-up sequence every movie

*part of a set

I remember Bibleman, but I never watched it, I'd still watch Vegitales though.

The Bible is brutal, has some sick stuff in it, and garbage like the Bibleman really dumbs it down. (Lot's daughters, Ehud, Jael - Heber's wife, ect. ect.)

But no, they produce a G rated purple prick

The idea is to dumb it down for children...it's in the vein of the guy above talking about how Christian culture is 2000 years old and to appeal, they have to appropriate. Bibleman is their appropriation of Batman