Were Christmas cakes born just to be alone forever?

Were Christmas cakes born just to be alone forever?

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Christmas cakes were born to separate and weed out immature little boys who can't handle a real woman.

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My fellow of African descent.

>169cm
>tall

They were made so you can enjoy their love juices more intensely after they matured a bit.

Not at first.

Nee-san who are cakes are the best

Her chest almost made that show tolerable

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I thought it was pretty enjoyable edgy shit that didn't take itself too seriously

Christmas cakes are absolute shit and quite frankly deserve to die alone.

When does an Elf become a Cake? At 250?

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More mature men than me have seen them to be unfit used up old rags and I would be smart to follow suit. If they were worth anything then im sure some other guy would have made her his long before i showed up

An inevitable consequence of girl infants not being drowned at birth: too many gashes, not enough cocks. Unless they go the degenerate mutant dyke route, they're doomed to spinsterhood.

>implying an elf can live 250 years without being raped

this

nothing worse than fat used goods with an attitude problem. kill them all violently with bare hands

Kind of like how you're going to die alone?

(n)edgy(n+2)me

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Yes.

Cakes are the haremnettes that went unpicked in their harem in their middle-high school years.

So, used goods?

A female like her could easily find a man, she chooses to be alone because she wants male attention.

pretty sure its (n)edgy(n*2*)me

you pleb.

>attitude problem
>implying they usually aren't the chillest ladies in the cast
If you're going to have bad taste at least refrain from spreading lies and slander while you do.

Any female above 25 is worthless used goods.

>you will never confess your feelings to a 250 year old elf woman who's only sexual experience is being raped as a young woman by an uncaring pack of orcs
>you will never see her beautiful smile turn to tears as she expresses her disbelief that someone as sweet as you could feel love for someone like her
>you will never hug her tightly and tell her that none of that means anything to her, and that she will always be the person you care about, no matter what happened to her
>you will never break down her emotional barriers through a series of dates and secret encounters after school (because she's also your teacher, I guess)
>you will never see the look of pure love and devotion on her face when you spend your first night together and treat her like the pure, virginal princess she is on the inside

>chillest
>code for biggest slut

sorry but not sorry, sluts are only chill around those that cater to them

Women 25 and under are usually pretty lame. Nowhere near as sexually adventurous and high strung as hell. Older women are chill as fuck and animals in the sack. You're missing out.

2edgy4me

3edgy5me not 3edgy6me

therefore (n)edgy(n+2)me
Think before you talk shit.

I love this meme.

I always wondered why Sup Forums adheres to it so much. You're not Japanese nor do they take the idea of a woman being worthless after a certain age seriously.

Do you choose to be alone for male attention too? Is that why you can't stop sucking cock?

This. I always assumed it was some /r9k/ nonesense.

>I always wondered why Sup Forums adheres to it so much.

You really don't understand why Sup Forums loves the idea of sexually mature, lonely/desperate women who are still considered social misfits by a significant portion of their society?

>japanese dont take women being useless after a certain age seriously

Living on the edge.

Christmas Cakes weren't born as Christmas Cakes. It was merely something they became.

The picture makes me laugh for some reason. I think it's the face she's making.

What does an user do if their neesan is a Christmas Cake?

>not burying your face into the crotch of your Onee-san and taking a good whiff

Don't sexualize your neesans.

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>Don't sexualize what exists to be sexualized

But doing that to your own neesan!?

Lol man.

You didn't put why live?

You have sex with her in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation while holding hands and interlocking fingers while she at the same time leg locks you so you don't get cold feet and try to pull out.

>leg locks you

those nipples look delicious

All that softness

I did that because I forgot. Please forgive me and enjoy the nice story.

This is a signifies the sister wants the baby butter.

source?
google only brings up cartoon

You must be a mature boy, yet you still can't handle women

exhentai.org/g/702348/cfb9032899/

Holy shit I had to zoom out to see it all.

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Soft.

There's a reason why otaku don't buy series where Christmas Cakes get eaten. They're impure, filthy sluts who typically have traits that make them literally unwaifuable.

>Smoking
>Drinking
>Can't cook
>Freakishly tall
>Non-virgin
You might as well fuck men.

111cm

thats not a cake, thats just a slut.

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>a 2D cake will never do this with you

Muh dick!

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I kinda want to sniff her butt.

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Alone and drunk, Cakes don't deserve this.

>scene where she sat on mc's lap
favorite cake

She has a daughter from a previous relationship

Yeah but she is way hotter than her daughter.

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Mother being hotter then her daughter is my fetish, but this is a cake thread.

>those armpits

Yes. You don't understand the Japanese mindset if you think Cakes are attractive; they're meant to be unattractive, except for their body. Being a cake fetishist is being the lowest of the low of otaku.

Looks like she needs a seat. Im a very good chair.

>you will never welcome Sawa-chan home after a hard day at school
>you will never share the meal you made
>you will never crack open some beer and listen to her unload about her day
>you will never develop your personal shared collection of 'stupid Yui' jokes
>you will never watch her squeeze into her old punk rock outfits
>you will never take her to a concert
>you will never watch her headbang with abandon in the front row
>you will never walk home with her as she gushes about the band
>you will never make sloppy drunken love
>you will never listen to her confide her fears about getting older
>you will never fall asleep with Sawa-chan in your arms
>you will never wake up the next morning to see Sawa-chan scurrying out the door because she's late for class.... again

>you will never lick her anus

But....men don't have glorious pussy....

This pic used to destroy my dick back in the day. Still kinda does

>not virgin
>glorious

just admit you have cuckold interests

>Drinking

Good. I also like to drink every now and then.

>Can't cook

Real men will happily cook for their girlfriends and wives.

>Freakishly tall

Tall is only an issue if you are insecure.

>Non-virgin

Being totally inexperienced has plenty of downsides. It's a non-issue.

The only problem on that list is smoking. And even then it's not really a big problem. The only real trouble is that it will negatively affect her health, but even then she can quit.

Where was she from again? It was that comedy manga right?

What if there is a cake who is still a virgin who can cook, doesn't drink or smoke and is short?

Qhy do most older girls have puffy, dark hairy assholes?

The moment she is not alone anymore is when she ceases to be cake.

Thus she can only be cake by remaining alone.

That's because she won her harem then the MC got hit by a truck.

>turning 24
>almost a christmas cake
>have already given up on love

end it now lads

>tfw live with older sister
>she's basically an OL whose hitting her late 20s now
>can't find a boyfriend
>struggles at work
>needs me to cook when she comes home from work due to stress and physical fatigue

I need to find this cake a husband

>can actually cook
>drinks in moderation
>rich
>intelligent
>great in bed

>not marrying your neesan

Considering this screencap is from /d/, I have some reservations regarding what happens next.

There are single OL CCs in Japan right now waiting for you user, what are you doing?

well, I'm still convinced Budweiser is straight up horse piss, so you aren't really helping the cause

Sparing them additional suffering.

Sauce on this?

It's just petting and some shitting dicknipples. Nothing too severe.

>Houtengeki
Muh DICK