Hey, any Sup Forumssters been in prison?

Hey, any Sup Forumssters been in prison?

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dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/dodge
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No, pol has a zero degeneracy policy

>having a hitler tattoo
imagine being this much of a cuck

this
*masturbates to Bhutanese cartoons*

My dad works in one. Just yesterday he hurt his knee while fighting a tranny who was assaulting its counselor. He hurt his knee pretty bad.

I went to juvie and a black kid stole my jelly every day.

No because i never got caught

Yes

3 years for rape
5 years for armed robbery
fuck the white laws

ahahhahahahahhahhahaahhahahahahaha

Nope. No juicy stories here bro. I keep my shit in line.

Kek

What did you do user?

Love me some prison shows though, that shit is funny

sucking dicks is not a crime anymore user

Doing what? Using sauna after hours? kek :DDDD

Im sure youd know mountnigger faggot

kys chingchong

DUI with drugs in the car and killed my cousin.

I went to prison for buying spoons without an ID in Bongistan. AMA

Go fuck your self turkish rape baby

Are you guys alpha enough to handle a crazy ass prison like San Quinton?

Male prison or a hen house?

Sorry that happened dude.

My dad been in.

yep, I've done time.

It's really not so bad. AMA

I see 6 beta white boys and an arab...

Once in Texas the border patrol found a nominal amount of marijuana in the band tour van I was inside.All Four people went to jail for the afternoon then went before the judge and paid a 300 fine

Could you ever stop thinking about the BBCs?

Actually think he has 3 times, but only 1 time in regular danish prison.

>Canadian Prison

They force you to wear panties user?

Just kidding, what did you do time for?

Okay user, so tuff man. Fuck prison for real, these guys will rape you with a steak bone. 6 grown men and an arab. You need muscles and a race gang.

Its Sup Forums irl.

I was in SRCI in the 95-01 for Manafacturing with intent and possession of precursors.
It was a glorious time.

Does military count?

A military prison, in russia? Fuck yeah.

There was only one black dude in my unit and he was ok. His name was Alistair and he didn't eat pork and when I called him out on it he told me it's because he didn't like it, but later on I figured out it was because he was a muzzy.

The people there were mostly burnouts and losers, I ate mad amounts of fish sticks on friday (they only serve fish on fridays) and I ended up putting on about 25 pounds of muscle. Being Canucks, we played ball hockey every week, we had a pool table, an x-box. Gym every day for an hour. I was in the work unit, so we had a guy from the Hell's Angels in our unit and he had an in with a guard so our unit was always stocked with weed, tobacco, cocaine and porno mags.

I have stories if you guys want greentext, pretty crazy one about a dude who had to go out for 3 days for a funeral and didn't end up putting the right drugs up his ass.....

5 years for attempted robbery and illegal firearm possession , groomed my twink cellmate and put him to work for me.....good times

>I have stories if you guys want greentext, pretty crazy one about a dude who had to go out for 3 days for a funeral and didn't end up putting the right drugs up his ass.....

Don't tease me.

Your trips are enough to convince you we need those greentexts, leaf.

Maybe he just really likes hitler you faggot

They are criminal gangs not natsoc.

I was in for possession for purpose of traffic of a schedule 1 substance.

>They force you to wear panties user?
No, but on my first day the guard processing me asked me what color condoms I wanted since it was my first time in and I was actually scared for the first few days, but that went away quickly.

There was one guy who put billiards chalk on his eyelids and wore the bottom of a mop on his head like a wig. That guy was a massive faggot named Jacques

Jacques? He wasn't a nigger?

Jacques a Jacque are pretty common white french Canadian names.

No but my dad's about to go to prison. Bitch ass female prosecutor trying to nail him for 2 counts of child rape (equal to 120 years) for giving his granddaughters titty twisters when they were playing. I mean, he really shouldn't do that for obvious reasons but a slap on the wrist would be enough.

heres all the coolest stuff

1.) people stick drugs up their ass (to smuggle drugs or whatever inside and outside, even cell phones)

2.) You can watch people get into fights like jail is a soap opera

3.) You can have interesting cell mates that tell you interesting stories, especially related to why they're in jail with you.

4.) You'll likely meet someone who wants to rob a bank with you, or commit some other devious act

5.) It's free housing, food, and social activities !

I'm sorry user but that is super suspicious and freaking hilarious.

>hitler tattoo
>cuck
don't you mean poor ALPHA

I have a more viable plan: not becoming a felon in the US

only in jail, was released after 2 weeks because I actually dindu nuffin, it's just bureaucracy takes a long time to do its magic so I suppose I was lucky to spend only 2 weeks there
no buttfuck shower or gang wars stories, although shit like that probably happens here just as it does anywhere else
the conditions were horrid and I'd probably kill myself if I had to spend any extended period of time there. Certainly no Northern European hostel for misguided people, but no niggers in Polish penal system is a plus I guess.

Only 3 for rape?
...interesting. that means I could rape 17 girls in my lifetime

Thatd bullshit but i believe it

Can you smuggle PS4s into prison in your anus?

like I said our unit had dope, and you trade commissary $$ for whatever dope you want, and there was one guy in particular that didn't have any money and he was a complete mooch, always asking to kill the cigarette or have the last puff on a joint.

>It's phone time, all inmates are on the pay-phones collect calling people
>Guy in question looks particularly distraught
>Turns out his mom died
>Starts crying, sob story to the guards, but in secret already making plans to meet people on the outside and hoop as much drugs as possible
>next few hours phones are all tied up, people making calls to people on the outside to prepare the meet-up
>guy leaves next day, promising us all we are going to have a great time in 3 days
>me thinking "damn what a junkie, his mom just died"
>flash forward three days
>guy gets back, huge beaming smile on his face
>"Anons, they made me stay in solitary without a toilet but had a bucket, they wanted me to shit but I held it in boys time to get high"
>guy pulls out shit covered saran-wrap hydraulically pressed package of weed, about an ounce
>those of us who weren't in the know were none the wiser
>turns out head honcho of the unit had arranged for him to bring in 100 Hydromorphone 12s
>supposedly, according to head honcho, his buddy on the outside DID meet up with the guy and gave him the pills
>pills are nowhere to be found

I forgot to mention, but to get away with smoking and not get caught cuz of the smell, we smoked with our heads in the toilet after we drained the water out so the smoke goes up into the pipes

>guy has his head in the toilet, smoking the ass-weed
>head honcho comes in with another big dude, catch the guy with his head in the toilet
>curb-stomp buddies' face into the porcelain repeatedly, at least 10 times.
>they finally stop, pull buddy's face out of the toilet
>most massive goose egg I've ever seen on a human bean
>everyone watching, guard comes in to see the commotion
>mfw 48hr lockup

Booked a couple of times, but no time.

one month when i was 18

this is literally all true

I went in a coke dealer with really good connections, came out an even bigger coke dealer with even more connections

Yeah we're all suspicious. I don't doubt that he's probably done something more so maybe this will set him straight.

was in county for a day

I saw a documentary on Polish prisons and the main gang seemed to stop anyone being mistreated if anything.

British prison is nothing like this or what you see in the movies. Race really doesn't matter in the UK and if it does to you you're going to be outmanned 10:1 by every other race there is.

The guy on the right, that's the joke right?

>x-box

Lol time rolls on. Last time i was locked up it was a playstation, its been awhile though.

You heard about that one place with the mini putt ?

I almost went to prison because of a hit and run , but the women who I hit had a shitty attorney and thus I'm free man.

Military IS prison in Russia.

>murica

...

Jail for jail-bait

90% of car accidents involving pedestrians are their fault anyways.

lol this guy is so legit

this was essentially my experience in county jail, except we smoked k2 instead of weed and did suboxone instead of dope. i had a multimillionare dopehead celly that i was freinds with on the streets, so we always had a peice of whatever drugs was on the block in our "hut"

I guess that's not a great one, but it was alright... I'll give you a few other, shorter ones

>one guy was scheduled to leave in a week, but he was a little bitch. He was the laundry guy, he was doing laundry and someone pinned him down and poured the powder detergent shit all in his face, eyes, nose, mouth, etc... Buddy left in an ambulance.

>one guy used to save banana peels and smoke them

>when I got in they told me to punch a guy, and that if I didn't they would beat me up, so I did and I knocked him down cleanly with one punch

>there was a riot in the county jail, so they sent all the inmates to other jails including the one I was in, and that night I lost count of how many fights there was until they finally locked us up

>one guy like to poke cocaine in his neck vein

>every day people read the paper, and if your name goes in the paper for anything like... beating your wife, beating your kids, touching a kid, sexually assaulting a chick, etc.. Most functional units have someone intelligent running it, he will remember your name, and you WILL be served the punishment the court system is too pussy to dole out

>lawyers dogde

Damn straight

prison rape is mostly reserved for pedos or rapists, they dont just rape ppl for fun. At least thats how it works in brazil

Nope. Too smart for prison.

I used to be white supremacism, in jail I lost ass virginity in prison by a black gentleman now I'm a proud gay

Speak American, rooskie.

>canadian prison is better than american wageslaving

wew lad

Too bad he's not a British Muslim. The femicunt would probably give him a medal.

From what I understand the prison rape meme is an American exclusive

>dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/dodge

as in: to avoid hitting something
(what this user should have done)

yeah one guy I was in with was in remand (he was charged, but not actually convicted yet) of stealing 750,000$

He spent liek 2 years in remand until something happened (statute of limitations or some shit) and he got out with 375,000 waiting for him

also for all a lot of jails and prisons, you gotta strip naked in front of guards, often around your fellow convicts, obviously to make sure youre not visibly smuggling anything.

it is pure warehousing and stock handling of humanity really, but for most its a man up check , you know , can you deal with that bro , lol

how is joseph smith the best post

None of those aryan gang faggots are racists or anti-semites. They let in kikes and spics for christ's sake.

Dont reply to me

replies incoming

>No but my dad's about to go to prison. Bitch ass female prosecutor trying to nail him for 2 counts of child rape (equal to 120 years) for giving his granddaughters titty twisters when they were playing. I mean, he really shouldn't do that for obvious reasons but a slap on the wrist would be enough.

im stealing this story for parties

there can sometimes be this interesting sub-culture of a society, rules, and values in jails and prisons, one of them is often not being gay.

You'd let him rape you/10

No but I was detained for an hour once.

Who called the cops on him for that bullshit?

I spent four months in county jail in Orlando, Florida. I think they start sending you to real prison if it's longer than a year? They separate everyone into different sections based on your record and I was in the safest one, Ive had lots of legal trouble but its always BS like public drunkenness and yelling at people. The harder section of the jail was called "the jungle" and you could very well get your ass kicked there but I wasent there.

Ive heard about the pot smoke toilet flush trick the Canadian mentioned. Theres lots of tricks and weird recipes past around over the years (people take shit they can get on the commisary list and "cook" with instant soups they cook with hot water and chips and random shit you dont need a fridge for).

I was part of a garbage in-jail rehab program which left a bad taste in my mouth about people in that field, but they let us watch movies. DID THE CANADIAN GUY REALLY GET FUCKING VIDEO GAMES?

In 4 months I read somewhere between 15 and 20 books, wrote a bunch and lost 50 pounds. I was really out of shape beforehand from drinking and wanted to fix it while inside. Ive never been more motivated in my life while inside and getting out was one of the best feelings Ive ever felt. I needed it and could probably use a swift kick in the ass like that again. I nicknamed it "reading camp" since I generally had no trouble.

People there are sad for various reasons and really stupid. I have stories dealing with both, I have a million stories. My dad drove an hour and a half every week to come see me the whole 4 months, RIP pops I will not go to jail again fuck it I can do ok without it being forced on me

The closest I've been sent to jail is when I was about 11 and I was driven back home by a cop after some school function because it was getting dark.

I'm pretty bad ass.

Yeah from what little I've experienced it's closer to the old Russian hierarchy of the wiseguys, the normies, and the bitches generally acting as a united front against the guards.
There are no conflicts along racial lines because the Chechens are not numerous enough to try anything on the inside.
Also, if somebody dies a violent death in prison here, it's usually the guards who had a hand in it.

honestly it wasn't that bad. A few caveats - I'm really good at cards (we played 200 and 45s, trump games) and I ended up being partners with the most important dude in our unit. I knocked a guy out within the first week, and I knew alot of people that other people knew and some people already knew who I was on the outside, so I never got into any shit.

The only thing that sucked was that at the time I was a 21 year old cocaine-peddling chad, I was drowning in prime pussy on the outside, so it really killed me that I wasn't able to bang bar sloots. Also they put saltpeter in the food. Other than that though, it's really not a deterrent. I'm not a junkie and I have money/house/cars and shit, but some people eat better, actually have a place to sleep, better entertainment on the inside so many of them end up becoming recidivist lifers

Texas ex con reporting in

Fickle you

Did you join the Aryan brotherhood? Did you take black dick?

nope no mini putt
tbf our x-box only had one game, halo 1 and most people in my unit were too retarded to understand