Jerusalem

So pol I am going to Jerusalem next week on a trip what should I bring.

Your foreskin.

a bomb
sage

Your wifes son

Are you going to the holy sepulcher?

Zyklon B

Nothing

Chainmail

shekels

Cash. Don't pay for anything with a credit card.

A light jacket. Also, a good amount of NIS because a lot of places don't take card.

ANFO

repentance

Zyklon b

A canister of U232 and some shaped C4

Crowbar and shovel. Break into preserved sites Jesus is rumored to have visited and seek new evidence. Climb a mountain and pray alone. Also carve Deus Vult into a wall on Muslim side.

Bacon. Its hard to find there.

Ge a kippa so if an arab attacks you, a heavily armed jew will waste him. Im serious. You gonna fucking LOVE the open carry. Also, habbad street in the old city, say hello to Neil

FPBP, Underrated.

A maga hat to take a picture near the kebab dome.

If you are going to the west bank/ east Jerusalem at all and you have an Israeli license plate on your rented car (yellow iirc) then put a Muslim Prayer rug on the front dash of the vehicle under the windshield. Take it down when you don't go through Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods.

This way neither kikes or mudshits attack you. Also learn to recite the Shahada or some surahs if you want to visit the Dome of the Rock while people are praying, guards will want to "test" if you're muslim or not to stop non muslims from entering the Dome of the Rock during prayer hours. it's pretty neat.

Nigger you couldnt afford to go to the holy city, let alone a foreskin

Also DON'T BE A PUSSY AND LEARN HOW TO HAGGLE!!! You WILL be price gouged by both semitic tribes. Also Arabs make better tasting food in the old city. Bring cash!

*when you go through orthodox neighborhoods.

Insted of going to Jerusalem instead book a trip to New Jerusalem.

Revelation 21King James Version (KJV)

21 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.

2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.

7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

9 And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.

10 And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God,

11 Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;

Very comfortable shoes and thin socks.

I'm living in Jerusalem rn so here's some tips.

-bring a sweatjacket or sweater, it's started to get chilly, especially at night.

-moshikos is overrated, go anywhere else

-if you buy something in the old City Arab market, be super careful. They will rip you off to hell and you'll never know. They will lie to you, tell you anything they can to steal your money. Most of their products are cheap crap, so pay really low.

-good bars are in the shuk and on Ben Yehuda street in downtown. The only good club I know of is Toybar, it has a bit of an older scene though.

-Marzipan bakery at shuk is incredible, make sure you get their rugelach

-when shopping in the shuk, be a dick. If he prepares the bag of whatever for you and you don't like the price, tell him to fuck off and leave. They are constantly trying to rip off tourists. Not all do it, but too many. If your not a dick you get ripped off buying $100 worth of fucking chalva or spices.

-bring chapstick, its dry up here

-good soap too, it's very dusty

-always pay for the light rail and validate your ticket. They check about 30% of the time and the fine is about 50 dollars. If you get caught it's worth it to cause a diversion and run.

That's all I can think of atm, best of luck

Don't forget your magneto helmet. Ya neva know.