My life of seclusion

I was a normal kid up until 2nd grade when my parents started noticing a problem with me. I would sometimes just randomly have a massive sense of fear and refuse to go to school. I would puke my guts out, cry and have diarrhea. I would feel like I needed to jump in front of a car, It was as if someone was aiming a gun at me or my mother, or one of my family members died. It was some of the worst emotional and mental pain I ever felt in my life, and I suffered with it in elementary for 3 years. When I hit 3rd grade, it got worse

. I would sometimes pretend to be sick to get out of school, I would beg my mother not to take me because I was so worried that I was going to die. It happen constantly for 3 years. In 4th grade I remember going on a field trip to the baseball game with my dad, my dad was next to me when we were sitting in our class but, I was crying, I was freaking out like some autistic sperg, the girl that was sitting next to me wondered what was wrong with me. I told her, but she didn't understand how I felt

Nobody got it, the teachers just thought for a long time I was just trying to get out of school, when in reality I loved school, I had a lot of friends in the beginning. But, that all ended. I started getting bad grades and neglecting my friends, Eventually. I just kept wearing my big jacket to hide myself from everyone. I would hide under a tree in 100 (37-39C) weather with a jacket meant for the winter. I would never take it off, because I was worried people would look at me. Anyway, after those 3 years I was taken out of school by my mother on the 1st day of 5th grade because I was starting to be deranged. Then was a new chapter in my life...seclusion. 6-7 years of no friends, relationships. I was unable to form any bond, only with my mother. My father was anti-social and a drinker and my sister is a loser. Puberty was hard, life passed by for me. (1)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=r_54T6Sq16A
archive.org/stream/TheWaffenSsHandbook/SSHANDBOOK_djvu.txt
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Why do think I give a fuck nigger?

When I was around 12-13, I got into a fandom. (2012) I got into an online relationship with someone, someone who was 17-18 and obviously a male, as I was too. I was so confused and hurt by the past and the seclusion that I need anyone to make me feel special. My dad found out eventually and when he would get drunk he would verbally abuse me. (In which now, I don't blame him.) And the person I was with would play mind games with me and toy with my emotions, later in late 2012 to leave me for some other fag, belittling me in the process and crushing my tiny heart.

I had only 1 friend that would keep me from giving up, his name was George. He was a smart guy, around 17. He picked me up by my bootstraps and I later met another friend in which his name I won't mention because he has a very easy name to find. These 2 guys helped me become a better person, they picked up the pieces that was my mind and put them back together for me, they were my brothers per say. I would of done anything for them. They stopped me from being a degenerate little kid, around 15 I started playing WW2 RTS games, that's when someone gave me an Adolf Hitler video. At first I didn't like Hitler, but I loved the Wehrmacht and their uniforms. But, eventually I started to see it. Hitler was right, and only then I started to go down this spiral once again.

Need help deciding where to end your years of isolation? I pick a jew gathering.

Awesome copy pasta. Here is your (you).

Anyway, for a few good years. I was still careless about myself and became a fat lazy fuck. deciding not to do school work and not caring about anything or anyone besides my friends. Then near the end of highschool it started to hit me. Self sacrifice, preservation. More of Hitler's speeches, more of what he said started to empower me. Ideology started to fuel my will to survive, to live, to get stronger. I would start working out, I stopped drinking soda, I started limiting my food intake. I started to get angry at the state of the world for what I was put through, what lies I've been fed. I was such a fanatic that I lost my friends because I was too much of an extremist. I cared little about my life as death was something to laugh at. Of course if I didn't care, I would of died fat. But, I was planning something. I wanted to be a National Socialist. I want to preserve my people, its the only thing that got me out of bed, the only thing that keeps me from a meaningless existence. I started growing an intense passion for politics and speaking, in which now I'm readying myself for when I shall rip open my heart to the people of this great country and show them the love I have for this country, this people, and our history, our heritage. youtube.com/watch?v=r_54T6Sq16A

I am still living in seclusion, but I see the light, hope. God is watching. The Fuhrer is watching.

Hail Victory brothers.

I actually just decided to share my story, sorry if It's so similar to yours.

I thought this was going to be a joke but that's kind of nice, glad we could motivate you.

Don't let your ancestors down

My story is for you not to give me empathy. It's just to tell a few of you here that may be having the same issues.

Tomorrow belongs to us.

The future is ours my friends.

They think that some of us here are just going to be fucking some fake human android. But, I know a few of us here have a burning heart of hate and passion, the type of feeling that you will do anything to satisfy.

America, it is time.

Thank you brother, I won't dishonor them.

Hail brother.

I feel that same feel. Seclusion. Losing friends. The shit sucks, but you have to just keep pressing on.

larping as a nazi wont make you any less of a loser, you dont have what it takes kid

Hey there rabbi.

So being political and viewing and accepting the National Socialist way of life is LARPING?

I mean people can be communists/Conservative.

I'm not a
>le %56
fag either.

I love Hitler, I love the National Socialists, I want to be an American National Socialist.

By your standards George Lincoln Rockwell is a LARPER.

>America, it is time.

No, not yet.

You're making the same mistake that kid at Charlottesville made when he smashed his car into a crowd.

I understand what you are feeling; the internet can be a wonderful place due to the overwhelming amount of information, but this very fact can also make it a very dark place.

I knew little of Hitler growing up. I was taught that he fled the Munich Beer Hall Putsch like a coward, then later learned that he was a decorated WWI veteran that volunteered to go to the front out of sheer adoration for his nation, and from there I began to doubt what I had been taught. I saw the information for myself, and when I read Mein Kampf, it hurt. This man, this war hero who had nothing but hope and love for his Fatherland and his people was cursed and hated today by people who had the right to rewrite history just because they had won.

And I began to see what Hitler had meant by the economic and cultural degeneration of his people. I saw it here, in the US. Hell, how could you not? A mere look at a gay pride parade is enough to make you want to lynch homos again.

The same for the news outlets, just like in his time. They were all Jews. Every single anti-white, anti-american, anti-western civilization author, every single one of them were either Jews or communist (which I learned from Mein Kampf and later confirmed by Putin were headed by Jews).

It is disgusting, this treason of our race, of our trust. Us, the children of the people who gave their lives fighting for the survival of Jews, now betrayed by the very people whom our ancestors died for. I wanted to kill them all.

But you must understand: Life is about opportunity, not fairness. Many Americans have yet to realize of these Jewish Marxists and their treachery, and until they do, you won't be successful in doing anything. And the only way for them to realize it is for the situation to worsen, which it inevitably will.

I'm fit, I don't do drugs. I drink on occasion. I help those around me. I love those around me, I protect those around me. I don't hate any race, but I want to ensure my own lives on and America stays European.

The people need hope. They need heroes. They need courage to break free.

youve got no teeth kid, youve got no balls, youre a weak little faggot who spent his entire life afraid of his own shadow. Its cucks like you who ruin the natsoc message. Fuck off. We dont want you. You dont pack the nessesary gear to call yourself a nazi, this isnt a neet rehab center. GLR failed because he went after the dregs of soceity like you instead of the military leader, lawyers, politicians, etc that can actually make a movement happen. Hitler went from being homeless to conquering europe in less time then that faggot was able to get 1000 followers. Hell our founding fathers took a night in a tavern to overthrowing the greatest military might in the world in even less time.

you back to the donald, read this on your way out archive.org/stream/TheWaffenSsHandbook/SSHANDBOOK_djvu.txt

I will ready myself for it then, even if I become an old man when it happens. I want to be there to die for my people or serve them. They are all I think about anymore. My people. My ancestors. My family. Europa...I'd rather die at the gates of western civilization than to see the rape of my kingdom.

I disagree.

My point is that many of them don't even know what is going on. They see the anti-white propaganda, they see the migrant crisis, they see that whites are targeted by groups like BLM and such, but they have not yet seen the root of the disease.

They have yet to question who the authors of this degeneracy are. Only when they begin to do so will they understand that Hitler was right all along.

I've never been to the donald, and you will not deter me. I've fought so hard to crawl out of my hole, and I will show you and everyone.

Even Hitler himself was never promoted because they believed he lacked the capability to lead in WW1. Look how that turned out

Just thought I'd let you know, you would've probably been thrown into a work camp (see work-shy).

And that's nice and everything, but what exactly have you DONE? How do you expect to go from a kid who threw up at the thought of going to school to becoming a great leader who's able to move minds and souls with just his words?

I'm happy you've found some passion, but what you really need is a psychologist, God, or spirituality.

i guess u r a loser faggot

>being this oblivious of the biggest problem with GLR
You fucking nigger. You fail to forget that Hitler would never have risen to power if the situation in Germany had not been so disastrous. Even the most pestilent leftist will agree with me on this point.

GLR, on the other hand, was of the boomer days, in the days of booming American economy, and near a hint of fear of the American population being replaced. Only in this day and age do we see our actual replacement happening. The people of GLR's time would never have voted for him because everything was fine, feminism and Marxism was barely even noticeable, and the slightest nigger rabble was quickly terminated by everyone in the neighborhood.

As for your attitude, you kike in NatSoc clothing, you gave away your cover the minute you turned an Aryan away on the premise of "not good enough". We are a civil movement of military doctrine, and exactly like the military, we take broken men and turn them into real men. You are the one who is not one of us, and your kike lies will always be recognized for what they are: Divide-and-conquer stratagems.

The hour will come, kike.

I've overcome my fear and I'm on my final year, gonna get a job after. What exactly have I done? nothing, that's the point. I need to experience life first. I'm not going to just become a great speaker by rehashing the same shit. I need to live, to grow old and wise.

A suggestion would be to join some form of engineering, medical training or military program. You can learn a lot from these fields.

Well props to you for overcoming something most people drown in like quicksand for their entire life.

I will still recommend a psychologist, God, or spirituality. Regardless, God speed.

Therapy I'm doing, I believe in god and I'm trying to be spiritual. Thanks friend.

Please do come into the light OP.

It'll make you easier to hit.

I was thinking National Guard after I get out of school.

...

it was promoted when he was one of the youngest, lowest ranked people to recieve an iron cross, what the fuck are you on about?

im 100% european, can you say the same? also read anything on the third riech. This faggot would been gassed. They didnt want broken men, no one does.

>Suitable SS candidates were singled out while still in the
Hitler Youth. In particular boys who had proved themselves, often under SS
leadership, in the HJ patrol service (HJ-Streifendienst) were welcomed as future SS
men. If the candidate satisfied SS requirements with respect to political reliability,
racial purity, and physique, he was accepted at the age of 18 as a candidate
(Bewerber).

>leaf
>guns

The only guns present in Canada are in the hands of Muslims.

The only bullets present in Canada will be present in the corpses of leftists who actually believed that these violent goatfuckers want anything to do with "multiculturalism" and "equality".

Did I accidentally go to Sup Forums,blogspot,com?

Fuck off you faggot.

>a fandom

So you solved your problem by becoming a nazi furr. Congrats. You are deluding yourself even further and down the road you will pay the price once you realize you are no better than the average cum dumpster looking for an escape.

No real Nazi would respect you.

>promoted when he was one of the youngest, lowest ranked people to recieve an iron cross

Hitler was only promoted to corporal in ww1. Never got higher than that because officers thought that while he was a good fighting man he probably wasnt a good leader

>17-18 and obviously a male, as I was too. I was so confused and hurt by the past and the seclusion that I need anyone to make me feel special. My dad found out eventually and when he would get drunk he would verbally abuse me. (In which now, I don't blame him.) And the person I was with would play mind games with me and toy with my emotions, later in late 2012 to leave me for some other fag, belittling me in the process and crushing my tiny heart

Are you gay or just thought you were or didnt care at the time?

...

Not the furry fandom. Stopped that shit in 2013 when I turned 13.

I thought I was, I was under puberty and I was confused.

I am straight, love women. Want kids of my own.

You stupid piece of shit.

When discussing the SS, you are talking about the recruitment for elite military status AFTER the training protocol on the children has ensued.

What you did, on the other hand, is turn someone back simply because of a rocky past.

Hitler himself was a homeless shit who barely lived on a pittance during his time in Vienna, as an orphaned teen, and later in Munich (before the war). You would turn someone back just because they've failed in the past, unwilling to accept them into our ranks without even giving them the chance to prove themselves.

You are a degenerate who deserves to see himself crushed by someone superior and be told to die for said inferiority.

As for my heritage, I am born of a German father and a French mother, both catholic, unlike the kike lie you would have me believe about you being 100% European.

>Stopped that shit in 2013 when I turned 13

I think the question now becomes why you stated that shit before 13.
>disney
fuck off

Brony fandom in 2012, sense of autistic escape.

One of the worst times of my life by far.

hitler was a cuck, germany could have easily won ww2 if he had stepped down when he relized he was far out of his depth. If only one of the dozens of assassination plots by men like rommel and claus had panned out, the world would be a better place. People who have fucked up in their past are not welcome here, this is not a neet rehab center, why do you think /sig/ threads are always deleted? We dont want you. You wont be spared on the day of the rope. I have proof im 100% white, you clearly dont, plus youre half surrender monkey, fuck off.

>Hitler was a cuck

Found the Kike.

seeliterally 0% kike champ

All hitler had to do was listen to his generals and nuclear scientists more

Last I checked, Aryans that denied Hitler were shot. Hitler is the father of National Socialism. When they wen't they didn't go for the strasserists or the others. They went to hear Hitler.

yeah my point exactly

You are right though that he could of done things a bit different.

hahahahahha hitler isnt even the bastard son of natsoc sport

yeah he should have killed himself sooner

If it weren't for him it never would of been noticed, a lot of us wouldn't even believe it, at least for me. Mein Kampf is what swayed me over.

>hitler was a cuck
I think my point is proven.

You are a kike. And as for your 23andme results, you must be retarded to believe there are actual genetic differences between Ashkenazim Jews and Germans / Scandinavians. They are from the same origin, one of the two simply converted to Judaism some time in the past and since that time has looked upon his brother, the goyim, as an inferior, thus creating this "racial" difference with no genetic basis.

okay
>people who fucked up in their past are not welcome here
i guess nobody's welcome here, pack it up boys, 4chin is over, pol is over, you're not allowed to larp here anymore, or shit post, or become a "nazi", just leave

Nazis are faggots. Im just a racist from now on...

it was already being practiced in a dozen other countries bud, mein kampf is poorly written

ashkies show up on 23andme champ

ive never fucked up, i did well in school, went to uni and got a job. Op was a literal faggot, social outcast brony who puked at school. He gets the oven.

I've been living the reclusive life for almost a decade now. I've forgotten how to speak to other people so I remain silent when I do happen to go outdoors. Pretty much all I do is read and watch documentaries, not trying to boast but I've gotten to the point where I know 97% of the questions on Jeopardy

>it was already being practiced in a dozen other countries bud
Which other countries? Any better guide to natsoc than mein kamf?

fpbp

...

I was a kid when I was a brony mind you. As for the "puking" Because I had something worng with something I couldn't control than I should be damned for the oven even if I am redeeming myself today? I'm 0% Jew, my mother is pure European. My family are Europeans.


I didn't just puke at school.

I felt as if my family or I was going to die. I was in a fight or flight mode the entire time for years of my life.

Can you imagine feeling the adrenaline, the sense of dread for no reason? Being scared of something that isn't even there or physical. It's not fun, It's not something to laugh at. You're just some upstuck asshole that hasn't opened his heart to a bunch of anons to be judged and ridiculed, because I know I'm not a perfect being or a what an Actual Natsoc is, but I aspire to be one. you failed a simple rule of National Socialism, which shows you aren't one. You live for your volk, you help them. If you stop being a coward, if you start fighting. Then even god himself cannot deny to help you. So why do you deny help? Deny encouragement? There is only so many of us left. I'm willing to redeem myself by throwing myself at the enemy when the time comes. Roping me would not help us win the war. I'm no traitor, I'm no mutt.

Here's a question nigger, why was your childhood so shit? Cause you keep telling us how miserable it was but never why? Any medical reason? Uncle touch your peepee?

mein kampf isnt even a guide to natsoc its hitlers autistic rambling about the kikes

no one wants you here, were not your fellow autists belonging to some secret club. Go back back to

OK then suggest a good guide to natsoc

Oh, sorry.

I live in Cali, was bullied a lot by spics and blacks/shitskins. Would always fight back, but eventually just kept to myself, all the white kids started moving too, one which I had a kid crush on, she was so pure looking. Had freckles like me.

For anything sexual? No, I can't remember.

Teachers I had in the 2nd grade were pretty hateful towards me, one was middle-eastern other was some dumb blonde. The middle-eastern one taught 5th grade. There was this one time my Dad left me at my mothers cuz my mother was getting surgery or something and I was freaking out and my dad's step-dad starting hitting me and threw me into the car.

It could of been a lot of things or it could of been none. I'm not sure user. I was too young to really understand it.

are you thick? there is not "dummies" guide to natsoc

When I was 13, I wasn't even on /MLP/ I didn't know Sup Forums existed till I was like 15 and I was on Sup Forums when trump announced to run.

I can smell the %3 Jew btw. You from Cali too?

minnesota, gas yourself

Sorry, my mother originates from New York State.

>genuine autistic trench-coat-wearing NEET and faggot LARPs being a nazi after playing too much historical RTS vidya, the post

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

WHITEBOIS ARE SO PATHETIC

Then suggest 1 you fucking nigger.

Its the bullying and the shit parenting, be happy with the progress you've made so far then.

You sure about that? Are you sure that the next person to unite the white race isn't here on this board? I wouldn't be sure. And if you're an enemy of our race you might want to be more than a little concerned.

user,
Good for you. I'm about 10 years older than you and was lurking here when you were (literally) in kindergarten. Back then, the internet as a whole was more chan like because the Normies hadn't taken it over. Everyone "online" was a weirdo.

Glad to see you're looking to end being a fat piece of shit. Just try not to reveal your power levels. The older chan generation is planning something, we will need young men like yourself to follow.