Holy fucking shit

Holy fucking shit

>previous job experience
>college degree, stem

What the fuck do you employers want, fucking hire. Do I have to come in with a crowbar during a job interview to make you sign the fucking paper?

you don't have job experience or a degree? you're fucked

What is the problem?

It sounds like they're making the right decision to not hire you if you don't know how to get those things.

no, i'm saying i have both and they're still not!

if you pick comp sci, be prepared. they're SUUUUPER fucking picky.

Have you tried making friends with employees/bosses?

Connections are how you get in these days but you can always network.

You should have been born a girl, user. Sorry.

You have to be an alpha

yes, i have an old boss i use for a reference who i was on good terms with, but I'm not really sure what he's doing now.

the problem is, my money is depleting and the jobs that pay for relocation are few in between. i have to settle for something local because I'm starting to not have the funds to relocate.

i was laid off due to cuts at my previous job, this shit is gay. this whole system is fucking gay.

That's like saying you want to be born a nigger because they're getting welfare.

Not hard to be a girl

>hiring someone who wasted their time and money on these things
Into the trash.
Throw out all people with (((education))), give all applicants an IQ test. Hire 130+.

Internships. Get you some.

>go to high school being told that you NEED to go to college
>"just go into something you love :^)"
>dont pay attention to the supply and demand of labor
>dump thousands of dollars into a degree and field that is saturated
>wonder why no one will give hire you
I don't fully blame you user, but you got scammed.

How well do you interview? How useful is your college degree (2.0 GPA from Retard College won't help)? What's your prior experience?

you will need to suck some dick

>Fucking gay
>Swishes his emo hairstyle
>People should just hire me n shit
>Be social autist
You gotta be a man. THE man. The man people want to hire. I had my first job at 14 doing dishes because I wasn't an emo bitch who cant get through an interview without subconsciously rubbing his across the street faker cuts

Yeah, we only hire the ones that can actually code their way out of a paper bag. Sorry.
You're a woman, right?

How can a guy who doesn't know anything about IT and is about to get a finance degree get started in the IT field? Can you really make 100k+ doing IT?

At first I usually found shit jobs, but in the field, to gain my experience. Don't expect good pay for another 3-5 years.

I started out doing web development at 7.50/hr at a college, now (15 years later) I am making 200k plus as a cloud computing architect.

start your own business, it's the only reasonable advice you'll ever get

> i have to settle for something local
bait

not wise, they'll just leave, and you'll have to hire more "smart people" without a resume.

lol software dev jobs are amongst the easiest jobs to get due to scarcity.

t. software dev who has to deal with questionable hires

>falling for the STEM meme

Kek, Paco takes the shitty jobs, Pajeet takes the STEM jobs, and America gets browned.

Only bait if he has a car or bike

>Getting interviews

What kind of fucking topsy turvy world do you live in? Most job ads here are "fake" in the sense that they are legally obligated to put them up, even if the employer has already filled the position with his niece's boyfriend's daughter's step-uncle.

>146316432
>What kinda topsy turvy world
>My flag
>Your flag
1/10 shitpost
No you for you

You must work in some kind of magical fairyland because every tech company I've worked for says they care about coding ability but actually hires based on gender and skin color

Prettymuch. Gotta put a job ad up for 6 months to justify bringing in a foreigner for 50% of the payrate, even if they're not seriously looking at any of the local applicants.

Get a spray on tan, dye your hair black and put in brown contacts. Say you are Hispanic and you are here for the el jobo.

in the US, in big companies they have token interviews as well in addition to the token advertisements.

that is the shit that really pisses me off. just wastes your time so they can pretend they assessed a field of candidates.

Gotta love it.
The Australian government’s job isn’t done for the day until everyone has been forced to waste their time.

Only need a few fat ugly virgin coders who can work 24/7 installing Google Ultron and doing other people's work

What part of the country? You might need to relocate.

apply to colleges as IT staff.

Hahahahababad!!! Stupid college cucks! Trade craft is the only true freedom. You are all imprisoned by insurmountable debt! You are basically slaves!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Dumb Idea. I have an IQ of 137 but I'm a lazy unproductive motherfucker. Intelligence =\= a good worker

>college degree
>no debt
Now what, blue collar boy?

>The college cuck
>Debt payed off
>Tradefags gloat about sucking some dudes dick for a couple years

It's not your skills, it's how much they want to pay you.

This
Just look at that Stephen Hawking guy. Lazy fucker in a chair all the time

Yep. A lot of times you can tell from body language and attitudes in the first 10-15 seconds that it's a phony interview.
Sometimes it's not even sinister - just a bunch of lazy fucks filling up their schedules for the day.

Now I finally understand why they expect coders to say their hobby is coding.

how a communist is born.

All the female coders is a sham, they're there to make the boss look good while you have 3-5 disgustos slaving away and jerking to hentai on breaks

I have a job interview tomorrow for a $70k/yesr position. Graduate in December with a civil engineering degree with a 2.72 GPA. I'll more than likely get the job

Engineering is the only stem degree worth getting

Still can't compete with 130,000 a year, fresh out of high school.

I always wanted to do engineering but a grade 9 gym head injury keeps me out of hard math.
Now I just play Vidya that features lite engineering
Feels sad man

This, not even shit jobs you can find decent jobs with a college degree but college graduates feel like they deserve $60,000 a year jobs right out of college. You will get there but you have the get the experience to back up your degree
>Be criminal justice major
>Have two friends also majoring in criminal justice, we dreamed of badass federal jobs
>Joined the Army reserve as an MP, volunteered for two deployments
>My two other friends refused to get any type of miitary experience, believe their degree will be enough
>Graduate from college. Police department is hiring. Tell two friends about
>"Bro the whole reason I am going to college is to not end up as a cop lol, I want to be FBI"
>"yeah lol who wants to be PD? Only drop outs do that. I am going Border Patrol"
>Join the PD while my two friends smugly put in applications to the FBI, US Marshals, Border Patrol
>"Lol mr deployed two times and has a college degree and only earns $40,000 a year as a cop, we are going to be banking when we go federal bro"
>They dont get hired because the FBI and other federal agencies dont want a bunch of kids right out of college who majored in liberals
>Stick out in the PD while they refuse to get any low level law enforcement jobs. Prisons are hiring, PD desperate for officers, but they refuse to do it because they are college graduates who cant be seen doing these types of jobs
>They work in call centers for close to two years waiting for the FBI to call them up. "it takes bro"
>I apply to the Border Patrol not really thinking I would get in
>My experience as a cop along with my college degree put me at the top of the list and I get hired
>Become federal agent
>One of my friends finally takes the pill that he needs experience and not just a piece of paper to become a federal agent and starts working in the local jail. Other one gets depressed and addicted to pain killers. "I never wanted to be one anyways"

Yeah I'm gonna need a citation on that salary available for a trade worker immediately out of HS

The military assigns jobs by ASVAB scores
kinda similar concept

average 3. my exp is in a different field, i'm trying to transition to software dev. i can write code, i've written apps and i tell them about it.

look, i'm just trying to work, not be chad thundercock. i shouldn't have to suck dick to get a job.

ummm explain to me how i'm supposed to move to silicon valley, pay rent, and hope to find a job with no money? i don't want to bum off a friend's couch.

>white genocide isn't real
this is how they do it, lad
white males can't survive if they can't make any money
now you know what (((human resources))) is for

I know that feel bro sorta.
>3 years in shitty graphic design.
>Work part time then full time different places
>90% of classmates shove thumb in ass cuz jobs just knock on your door
>Work security now, one friend has only just found a job, 2 years later.
>Others picking up refail at age 22-25

You got any tips on where to go from security? I'll be pulling two years exp in December but I'm not really cut out to be a cop.

>Getting a stem degree without at least 2 years of lab experience while you are in school or summer internships/programs

People won't hire people who don't look they wanna work. If you wanna work you gotta relay that to a potential employer both physically and verbally.
>Chad thundercock
That thundercock is head chef at wendies make 350k a year and has a 14" penis. You're nowhere near Chad thundercock

That's what you get for going into white collar

Should have picked a trade

>Stephen Hawking
>smart

that cunt is too stupid to even fucking walk or talk, my 2 year old nephew is smarter than him

Deep site underwater welding? Because it takes more than a trade school to sort that out

Lol dude he wasn't talking about those kinds of cuts he was talking about his company downsizing
dawg join the army under a software related MOS if you're young enough

>Studies computer science
>Wants dev job

Well maybe you should have been a software engineer. No one gives a shit about studying new search algorithms. They only care if you can code and in as many languages and as flawlessly and fast as possible.

Literally cannot argue with these quads

this is cripplingly objective truth about our nation jesus christ we are fucked.

I was calling him an emo bitch regardless

>ITT: Faggots dont know to pick flax and weave it in to bowstrings


enjoy being /nophat/ poorfags forever

Have you looked into corrections? It can be pretty stressful but federal agencies love hiring them because they know how criminals behave and think from working with them so much. The best thing about corrections is that they always hire entry level people since they always need people. Another tip, pick up a foreign language. I speak Spanish because Mexican but picked up Portuguese in college because it was easy, little did I know that it was a critical language for defense and national security. So it helped me out a lot. Try and get some military experience as well. I did security as well in college btw, I say you check out corrections, good place to start.

This. Civil is the best engineering.

People are going to need houses,roads,bridges,buildings... and they are build concurrently, ie; you don't have 1 guy design it and then walk away while it gets mass-produced. Each project needs a guy, most need several.


>>Mechatronic Engineering Degree
year fully paid internship at multinational
>> unemployed now, looking for a software job so i can be this guy.
>>So much rejection, it's nuts.
>>Searching for junior, 45k pay. Must have advanced knowledge of 50 different things.

Get over it, aim lower and work your way up.

If you can stay awake for most of the day you'll be in the top half of American employees wherever you land. People will notice and beg you to work for them.

t. old man in the workforce

Thanks. I dunno if I can pick up a new language but I can try.
Didn't do very well with french. Should it be Arabic because current Canada climate?

There are jobs out there that want new people who want to pad their resumes. Other companies prefer more experienced people. Keep looking.

Basically this.
You done got Schlomo'd OP

>not getting an internship while in college
>"why won't they hire me, Sup Forums?"

Pathetic.

post a selfie and we can tell you what's wrong
actually i can tell you already....you're a fat balding autist who reveals his power level and is unable to work with normies.

Arabic would be awesome, shit the US would be throwing jobs at you if you do, but its an extremely difficult language to learn. With languages you have to find one that you can constantly practice with people as wel. That should also play into what kind of language you want to learn, what ethnic groups are in your area that speak a certain language that you can practice with. What job you are trying to get also comes into play. Spanish is decent choice, the language of drug trafficking and pretty easy to learn

>I'm starting to not have the funds to relocate.
>I have to settle
You CAN live out of a car for a few months, pussy. Get a gym membership to showers. You have a mobile hotspot in your pocket for internet and email. When did men become so afraid of a little risk and adventure? Your job hunt should be as wide a possible. It's your own fault that you can't find a position.

>Here, fill out this application user!
>user, looks like you forgot to fill out the address part!
And where the fuck is he gonna get his mail?

Funny thing is, i'm more qualified than op is.

Here's some programming languages iv'e learned since i was 12:

Assembly, Batch, C, C++, C#, Go, Haskell, Java, JavaScript, Perl, Pyhton, Purebasic, VB.NET and XML.

And i'm just a freshman in college. I'm taking remedial courses atm but i'll actually start my CS classes next semester.

Get your face away from screens of any sort, get some vitamin D and quality nutrition and go walk around in the woods or hike for a few days. Get your mind right and start formulating a plan to unfuck your shit.

>At least 3+ years experience with a software suite that came out a year and a half ago listed as a requirement

Dang, if only I had picked time travel as a major.

at least if you go to SF to look for jobs you can literally walk around naked, inject heroin, shit in the streets, and yell racial slurs at white passerby and no one will care or even notice. just try not to get the aids.

more seriously though, you sound like you may be in dunning kruger territory. coupla questions:

1. tell me about your best app. how many users?

2. walk me through reversing a linked list

Arabic can't be harder than moonspeak
The only thing that worries me about moving deeper into law is that I'm not big or intimidating. I'm like cute n stuff..

I'm only "intimidating" to other people if I use my hard voice and they can't see me. Had a fire alarm go off in a building and I had to call a guy outa the locker room
And the voice I used you'd expect outa like a 40 year old dadguy or police sheriff and the guy comes out an sees me, a harmless pale 5'8 kid face security officer

COMSCI grad here from a couple years ago. I have been working on my own own proprietary stock trading algorithms and teaching myself android which was barely an elective a few years ago. I have never had a job though, never even applied due to fear of wasting my time since experience I make income doing odd computer jobs for people. am i fucked?

I wish I would have stayed in Mech. or Civil, easier transition into the workforce. Just be sure to get your FE early and PE asap.
I studied Comp. Engineering because I enjoyed electrical and robotics. Currently trying to get a job in embedded systems and they want a big coding portfolio, also phone screens have been kind of superficial and they don't seem to really deeply assess candidates. Now I'm looking to work with engineers in any capacity I can, if I decided to build a portfolio on the side and look for a more coding oriented job in the future I will.

Can I do both? Are there part time apprenticeships?
I've nearly finished up my second degree with 5 years experience and have been job hunting for nearly a fucking year with only a few hits once I started filling out my ethnicity as black and my sex as female.

Does he have parents? He can make that his home of record. Does he has a single friend? He can make that his home of record. They can just scan an email any documents that may get sent to the address.

It's like people are TRYING to be unsuccessful.

It's what happens when your parents don't give a shit
Thankful mine did

I feel u user.
> become STEMcuck
> wanted to own a company
> never built the relevant skills
> now a career STEMcuck
> $100k/yr won't buy a house in the Bay Area

Get a credit card with a 0% APR introductory rate, or get a planet fitness membership and live out of your car in the PF parking lot until you get your first paycheck.

Can't afford to relocate is such a meme. It costs like $100 in gas to go 1000 miles. Sometimes you gotta do shit you don't want to do to get where you need to go. If I just gave up because shit was hard, I'd be homeless by now.

Millennials want to get a job and keep their dignity though

>what is a PO box

Six figure income and not enough gibs for a mortgage? What the fuck is happening to the bay?

>Have you tried making friends with employees/bosses?

>Five years later finally good enough to be hired

10K in debt from drinks you bought him at the bar.

bonus hire points for transexual woman

how hard is it to do a summer internship. ffs

A college degree is not worth anything to anybody.

this

make your ancestors proud and get trained in an honest hard working trade

I said: ask a friend.

What kind of asshole doesn't have ONE friend he can ask for help?

Also this.

should have been an illeterate nigger born in ogo bogo town sorry user

Sup Forums basement autists

Well good for you that you've spent time learning the syntax for multiple high-level languages lol.

If you don't have any open-source projects on github or a website with cool sorting algorithms consider yourself useless.