Roast Me Thread

Roast Me Thread

Fuck, now I'm hungry

>952x534

a thousand burnt stenches flood the basement as from behind the water heater emerges user, LORD OF CHAOS whose empty gaze and clouded countenance are ever-shifting! in the thick forgotten tongue of gods and monsters buried in the pits of deepest memory he screams in a chorus of voices with the agonal misery of millennia pressed into a deafening moment and collapsing on himself, crumpling to the floor and clawing the dewy cement, he finds his way to his herald's side and whispers to her, now tender as a lover: OP is a fag

Someone explain.

OP? he a gelatin skeleton, flimsy guy gets caught in door jambs, flops sideways, failure complete in fisticuff feats. systemic erectile dysfuction has a cure but the precise alchemic notation was lost a thousand years ago in the imagined hyperreal transaction between hizzoner keith garrison and the chairman of the african union following an intense raquetball match in which there was no clear victor, but during which both of them chuckled and sipped from reusable watter bottles cold sweet draughts of the blood of entire nations, all laid once in turbulent folded timescapes at op's feet, his soggy feet... could he lift one child they'd all be spared but he did not have the will. OP: literally murdering children on the astral plane

>explain

Take tasty object
place into hot oven
wait

When tasty object is brown
remove from oven

Proceed to consume tasty object

This is my roast.

That's a good looking Hope Solo there OP

OP factsheet:
>fat
>gay
>ugly
>smell like a ballsack made of french fries
>uglgay
>has sex with chickens
>got a chicken pregnant
>hard-boiled his son
>tiny dick
>lost a fight to a breeze
>fist-pumps whenever he farts
>names his farts
>is sad when his farts dissipate
>still mourns Alice

since this thread might be deleted soon

Whats a good anime to get into? Something preferably without an over the top Japan theme. I'm pretty new and have only delved into normie Sup Forums so far, I'd watch anything from K-On to some action anime. Is Cowboy Beebop worth getting into?

in world war I primitive tanks carried bundles of sticks on the front of their hulls which they dropped into trenches so they could cross them and the term for these objects is "fascines" but they could also be termed "enormous faggots" and basically if a wwI tank ever goes to mars and needs to cross the Valles Marineris it should strap OP to the front of its hull

what im saying is hes gayer than two dicks on fire trying to extinguish each other with cumjets

when curtis lemay ordered his b-29s to switch tactics from precision daylight bombing with concussion bombs to nightime carpetbombing with leaflets bearing OP's posts the crews mutinied, claiming the order represented "soulless, vacuous depravity." only after he changed the munitions loadout to white phosphorous and napalm did they obey orders

yeah

Less than stellar.
unless you count brown dwarfs

We have an entire board for losers like you

>Sup Forums saloon doors flap open
>dark figure rolls in
>waifu threads stop, heads turn
>dark figure rolls to a stop, a wisp of smoke from its cigarette. a surprisingly fast-burning cigarette
>dark figure explodes! it was a a pipe bomb all along! worthless meat husks perforated by kinetically enthused fragments!
>drifting in the rubble a scrap of parchment reads: OP you are a poop butt farlord

deep within the geneaology of all mankind there was likely some point at which you and i must somewhere share a common ancestor and subsequently a point at which those genetic lines diverged and were lost to the annals of time; at this hereditary fork there is a woman, the ur-woman of those who begat and procreated in this purposeless universe that against all odds resulted in as shitty a poster as you

she, and every maternal member of a generation descended in that line, was a ho

I'm glad I clicked on Sup Forums today

...

You still watch anime?! What a faggot!