How can I become a jew?

Jews are the most based culture.

Shabbat shalom.

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cut your dick off

If he cut it off, it would just go into another kikes mouth.

Would smash the jewess on the right.

Might be too old for his kikel elders though.

There would be unironically nothing wrong with being a jew if we were the jews. Islam and Christianity was made for plebs

...

like others mentioned you have to cut your dick and let your parents suck the skin preferably your mom

Agree, I'd let her shower with me

Already cut my foreskin off. I think that is what is required.

This is making the OP salivate at the thought of becoming a mohel and sucking the penis/blood himself instead of sitting on the sidelines with his hands in his pocket holes, gently caressing his little pecker while he watches another baby get cut and sucked.

Sup Forums spends too much time whining about Jews, sucking Muslim dick, and not enough time talking about traditional Western culture, self-improvement, vernacular folkways, and survival skills.

Marry a jewess.

The only way to become a Jew is to be born a Jew so kill yourself and you will be reborn as a Jew.

what the fuck is going on here?

>Islam and Christianity was made for plebs
They are cheap knock-offs of the original. It feels like getting one of these Chinese smartphones with Android on them instead of a fancy iPhone.

This makes the jew blow its impotent little load.

If Jews were impotent they wouldn't be around today.

>opps
>didn't mean to give your 3 month old son my herpes
>guess i'm gonna have to charge you extra for that though

>Marry a jewess
There are very few around here. Are there a lot in America? How do I wow a good one?

I have partly Jewish roots. How much Jew DNA do I need?

Have a good career and be of good breed and family. And be willing to embrace Judaism, not just be in it for the shekels.

>implying the males don't outsource the sperm so their womyn can create kike v2.0

They are kissing babies.

Be rich as shit. Then agree to join the cult once she's consented to marry your bank account. Pretty much the only real way. Have more shekels than the hebros she currently knows.

and a cheap knock-off is how you'd look if you think you can just "become" a jew. it's more than religion. it's as much an ethnicity and culture as Polish or German is. don't believe the conversion thing.

I am a lawyer and work with money. Is that ok? I a, more than willing to embrace Judaism.

Here's a guide: wikihow.com/Convert-to-Judaism

Supposedly the rabbi is supposed to tell you that you can't convert three times to test your dedication. Why some people say that it's impossible, they gave up.

I wish I were Jewish also. They dominate all other groups hand over fist while simultaneously making it impossible to point that out publicly without being labeled a bigot.

But it's impossible to become Jewish unless you were born Jewish. And while that may seem unfair to goyim, thier biological exclusivity is actually the very mechanism that has preserved their existence for thousands of years and the inbreeding that results has mostly served to bolster their higher IQ

They are truly Gods chosen people

worship the devil

on the dick?

Even if you convert, real Jews never ever ever see you as a true Jew... You are what they call a Ger

Can you just spam him three times in one afternoon or do you need to be patient and spread out the badgering for two or three days?

>as much an ethnicity and culture as Polish or German is
Don’t believe the stories. We Germanics and the Poles really are completely intermixed, and not just with each other. Most of us have Jewsih great grandpas or mas. I have a Jewish great grandma.

There are Jews in every major city. If you are willing to do some searching you will find them.

On the forehead, silly.

There are no true Jews in America so

IT'S OKAY TO BE JEWISH

For some reason the Jew girl density in German density is very low.

That is 100 percent true.

Who cares what the sewing circle thinks, what matters is your relationship with your religion. To add another thought, who has demonstrated more commitment, someone who happened to be born into it, or someone who discovered it later in life and said "I want to do that" (and in the case of Judaism for men, got his willy cut)?

Dunno as I've never tried :)
Probably you have to talk to him in person and he will avoid you for the rest of the day. This kind of this is seen elsewhere, Zen temples in Japan give excuses like "the temple is full, we can't take you" to see if you try again and again.

>German density
German cities

I tried to convert in 2009. Orthodox and Conservative told me to fuck off. Reform said okay, but you've got to come to classes and work for it. I was too lazy too, though, and settled into a comfy agnosticism after being born protestant.

in the orthodox view then, your mother was a Jew, and now you are too technically speaking. it's not a matter of converting, but practice. but still, it's not just race, what i mean is that it's a whole identity people grow up with. that's why i think you can't really covert to it anymore than you can convert to being Polish. i guess maybe there is assimilation, but i don't know why you wouldn't just embrace who you are and how you grew up?

It's
Okay
To Be
German

But Jews say they are white, and we are told whites have no culture.

>Orthodox and Conservative told me to fuck off
Any reason given? Like you don’t look Jew or don’t do the breakdance correctly?

I think my sister is dating one and were mexican

very suspicious!

But a convert, or a "ger" has no relationship to the religion. You really don't see how odd it looks to real Jews when they see a Gentile performing Jewish rituals and mitzvahs while having no biological or familial connection to the ancient traditions? Gentiles just look like wanna-be posers, it makes no sense to a real Jew to see this. Most Jews perform these rituals to remind them of their genetic and cultural identity just as their parents did, and their grandparents did, all the way back to Abraham. Gentiles do not have this connection and so this makes no sense

but send help anyways !

And now I have JWs coming to visit, I guess once a week now. Funny how some religions seem to want quality over quantity, or quantity over quality.

this whole time i thought it was just a meme

>dating ome and were mexican
Explain what this means. Your sister was a mexican?

yes we are mexican and she might be dating a jew

Congratulations, your family is rising in society. Make sure to milk him for his business connections.

With all due respect, I think you're looking at the attitudes of modern Jews more than the religion itself. Even Ruth converted to Judaism, and she has an entire book in the Hebrew Bible. What matters is following the Ten Commandments, etc., not being accepted by the MUH HERITAGE crowd. See?

>And now I have JWs coming to visit, I guess once a week now.
you lucky bastard

Reasons not given. Retrospective reading between the lines: to Orthodox and Conservative being Jewish is originally an ethnic designation; secondarily, religious: where to the Reform the reverse was true.

The difference between civic and ethnonationalists comes to mind.

So? that's an upgrade for a mexican

more like a quantum leap

1 Kraut down. 80 million to go.

Once I am in, I will convert my brother, mother, sister and my gf and friends and will start my own reform jewism temple... then convert millions more.

God told me to do this.

I know she got tickets to this event that was super expensive because of reasons, they paid regular price. Supposedly he knew someone high up that runs things

I was like wtf I love jews now

yeah but it is just odd

keep on sucking that jew cock you'll get there

Finally. The end of Germany.

first off, you'd need to stop posting on sabat, if you can't afford a shabbos goy.

Wait. So you want to convert because you actually believe in the Jewish God? I thought you meant you wanted to convert to take advantage of their biological nepotism and networking opportunities. So you're just a dumb fucking goy who doesn't know who he is. Good luck to you

No, there will be a new republic, the Holy Land of Germany and from there we will spread to the world converting people left and right... if necessary by force.

According to the new wolfenstein game you just need an engineering degree

>keep on sucking that jew cock you'll get there

Once he sucks enough old jew cock, he'll the prize that he's really after.

Start by cutting your foreskin