I'm a Mormon, ask me anything

Because apparently a lot of you fucktards like to read fake rumors about our beliefs on some blog posted from 2004 written by a 40 year old fat virgin

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=N3cJ7MMciGg
utlm.org/navtopicalindex.htm
utlm.org/navonlineresources.htm
youtube.com/watch?v=ag7R3Y9GjLY
petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/call-mitt-romney-publicly-denounce-joseph-smith-founder-mormonism
youtube.com/watch?v=-2MvdQKC0jc
quora.com/What-is-the-story-of-a-talking-salamander-in-the-Mormon-church-teaching-about
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Do Mormons ever shut up about being Mormon? You're worse than people who do crossfit

Do you know that your fabled holy book found by your prophet was actually not divinely put there by God, but by the Templars?

Yes, we'd stop talking about being Mormon if you people stopped telling lies about us to fulfill you satanic agendas.

What is the motivation for Mormons to spend a huge portion of their youth spreading their religion to others? Do you get paid or something?

Ask why they cucked out and let have blacks have the priesthood even though they blatantly don't deserve it and can't handle the responsibility.

The Amish are cooler, fuck your fake prophet dumb-dumb.

And what makes you think the templars were not sent by god?

Why can't you just CHILL THE FUCK OUT WITH THE DAMN PROSELYTIZING?

Why don't you purge your cult of the likes of mitt Romney and Glenn freaking beck.

I had a Mormon (supposedly) teacher once. According to her you have to convert a number of people, 3-5 or so, before being accepted by the church or something like that.

why do you guys baptize the dead?

Spreading the word of Jesus Christ & his teachings is what keeps the devil at bay. Satan thrives off of the weak minded & those who are vulnerable.

Why do you no longer teach the Adam-God doctrine? It was clearly and widely taught by Brigham Young, from the pulpit during conference as doctrine.

Where did you serve your mission? I went to Buenos Aires, Argentina. Basically what america will look like with our shit immigration policies

Mormonism is a cult and is cucked just like every other Christian denomination

Whats up with the whole underwear thing?

Why do you deny the divinity of the Lord? The devil is a created being and Jesus Christ is the infinite God and the only begotten son of God, how can you say that the Christ and satan are brothers? Repent brother and learn of the true living God Jesus Christ

There's this blonde at the chickfila with a great ass, is she dtf a dirty heretic?

If polygamy became legal, would Mormon women start sharing their men again?

Because we don't want to be sued, go into a Mormon church and you won't see any black people there. Mormons specifically send missionaries to mainly white neighborhoods, Mexican at the very least. We very rarely have black members.

Mormons are definitely a pro-white religion, hence why we support our members (the vast majority of which are white) into having at least 4 kids per family.

Is it true that if I sell my soul to the church they'll hook me up with a cute wife who actually wants to be a wife?

THIS

They cling onto us, we voted for trump for a reason. Just look at Utah. Everyone though us mormons would betray trump, but we didn't.

I read this is Mistress Tabitha's voice, kek

how do u feel about infidels. Should they die for not being mormon. Woould u be happy if they did? Im not accusing. Simply curious

Why did black people, Hamites, suddenly become not sinful, not fallen in, what, the '70s?

Why did joseph smith practice scrying? that is unbiblical witchcraft

>Basically what america will look like with our shit immigration policies
too bad you guys have a habit of adopting third worlders, huh? also is argentina that bad? are they more mestizo or is there a lot of indio immigrants?

>fake rumors
Mormonism is a bullshit religion started by a charlatan, and it is tied to freemasonry

Completely false, you don't have to convert anyone into the church, the mormons are low key selective as to the type of person they want in the church

Mcnuffin

Keeping the devil at bay is one thing. Paying rent and buying food is another. How do you survive when you dedicate your youth years to knocking on doors?

yes but only if you're white

What fake rumors?

Why did Joseph Smith "marry" Fanny Alger when she was 14, before the supposed revelation on polygamy, and then lie about it for years?

It makes me glad to know that Joseph Smith was shot multiple times before falling out of a window, I couldn't think of a better way for a heretic to die.

did you know old Joseph died about an hr from me for being a luddite and fucking farmers wives? No bullshit though you guys make some dope cabinetry and furniture. Real top of the line shit

What is the OFFICIAL church reason for the change?

because the church didnt want to get sued mormons are still low key racist and pro white

30% voted for mcmuffin you cuck. Mormons are all brainwashed diversity promoting cucks.
But thank god most of you still vote republican.

FPBP

In the afterlife, we believe there are many stages of heaven & hell. One of the stages is for people who were never baptized, but were know to be religious by their family members. Their family members ask that we babptize them, in hopes that they may reach the next stage of heaven into the afterlife.

For example, one of the stages is full of people who never knew god- people who weren't Christian. People who didnt know a god existed. They get the chance in that stage to learn about god and to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. If not, then they are cast down.

Offical church reason for docrurnal change based on biblical justification or that of your elders.

Got a good friend that was way up there in the Mo religion - I forget what he said his title was - but was in charge of an entire area of churches. He got to looking and found out the dude that started the whole cult mixed Freemasonry, Catholicism, and Satanism into - TAA DAA!! MORMONISM!!! It totally explains all the Freemason symbology in the castles you guys build, the rituals of Catholicism and Satanism. And be very careful about blowing holes in their theology...because the Prez will get a "Word from the Lord" and change shit up. Really? Your God wasn't smart enough to say thats a rap, don't fuck with it? Once he found this out and challenged it, he was shut down immediately. He left the church. On the flip-side, Mo's tend to be good citizens, polite and take care of their families.

give me the skinny on magic underwear

How many of you blood relatives have you knocked up?
If female how many brothers and your father did you fuck?

And he tried giving the masonic sign of distress, but they shot him anyway.

How factually correct was Southpark S7E12 "All about Mormons" in their depiction of the story of John Smith and The Book Of Mormon's creation?

What's wrong with silky smooth underwear?

Think: today most who id as templars are shitposters. So is user sent from God?

most christians voted trump, but those stats dont account for how pious they are. evangelicals are why the GOP failed for so long, always focusing on fag marriage and abortion

Why is dark skin a curse?

>unbiblical
The Mormons have a third testament, anything they write into it is biblical by their accounts

There's a lot of Mormon girls who reserve themselves for Mormon boys because they want someone who has high morales. So if you joined the church & were active, you'd easily find a white Mormon girl & get her fathers blessing

have you been sealed in the temple? give us the rundown on the rituals.

anyone over 10 years old who believes in fairy tales should be eugenicized the fuck out of our civilization.

Depends on what the prophet says

God told me youre following Satan.

Agreed.

youtube.com/watch?v=N3cJ7MMciGg

Listen to these Arrogant and prideful words of smith. Remember GOD hates pride.

Proverbs 16:5 (KJV) Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.

"Come on! ye prosecutors! ye false swearers! All hell, boil over! Ye burning mountains, roll down your lava! for I will come out on top at last. I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet...When they can get rid of me, the devil will also go." (History of the Church, Vol. 6, p. 408, 409) Joseph Smith


The Bible is all you need

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:8-10 (KJV)


utlm.org/navtopicalindex.htm

utlm.org/navonlineresources.htm

youtube.com/watch?v=ag7R3Y9GjLY

We don't want to get legally damaged

Have you signed this important Mormon petition?

petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/call-mitt-romney-publicly-denounce-joseph-smith-founder-mormonism

mormon marriage was disappointing as fuck. dressed in goofy temple robes, holding secret handshake across an altar. No "I do", no walking down the isle, no exchanging rings, no anything. Huge let down.

Why do you willingly follow a false prophet? Is this all some kind of massive shitpost? Protestantism was a mistake.

I want to believe that, oh God do I. Utah best state in the union. Still I just can't accept momo'ism.

y'all also think that my GF who is a Ameridian, is the true Jews of the bible, which is weird...

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Why did y'all steal my great great granddaddy's irrigation water in the Arizona territory?

I knew a guy that went to BYU. He said the LDS chicks were all "Saving themselves for marriage" but were all down for anal and oral.

Good riddance!

There's a lot of lost tribes of Israel who were nomads & travelled the world

youtube.com/watch?v=-2MvdQKC0jc

lel, your ceremonies look like a food channel's bake off.

did they anoint holy oil on your naked body?

Well it is college

He was reached by god by a priest

I had a girl at BYU give me a handy, then ratted us out to her Bishop because she felt guilty. W/e, still came.

What's your favorite beer?

The Earth is flat, so that keeps kinda fucks up the whole "planet" thing you homos believe. Hey did you notice how Revelations in the Bible ends with nothing shall be added nor taken away...and then the book of Mormon places their cartoon strip as the next chapter...kek

This is a comment form a normie site about Mormons:

You have this map ALL WRONG… You’re not taking into account that the Mormons practically OWN Utah and many parts of Nevada, Idaho and Colorado… and they would NOT be on the side of a giant white ethnostate… Do you know what they have been planning (under prophecy) in the case of the SHTF? It’s not white nationalism, I’ll tell you that. Think more along the lines of the Alex Jones “1776” mindset. They have a prophesy that they will rise as the new leaders of America to restore order. You need to keep that in mind if you are thinking of just rolling into Mormon country during a racewar and declaring it part of your ethnostate. Pretty much all Mormons are preppers, heavily stocked with supplies and armed to the teeth. After all they have to be to protect their lifestyle (especially the more old-school types that still practice polygamy, you need lots of ammo in order to keep the government out and the sister-wives in).

Damn the other mormons must look down on you,user.
Sorry to hear.

Why are you forbidden from baptizing dead Jews? They weren't christian but your (((president))) forbids it anyway.

No. I've only seen oil used once on a kid who was sick for a long time. They put 3 drops of oil on his head, church leaders put their hands on his head & prayed.

Sickness went away the next morning

Mormons are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Anybody that hates on them is a true piece of shit.

That was during the Initiatory. When I did it, you'd be naked, but wore a big white poncho that was open on the sides. Still weird to have some old guy mumbling about my loins and dabbing oil on my tenders.

you actually wouldn't

Nice larp. If you were actually Mormon you wouldn't be browsing a degenerate website like Sup Forums, much less browsing its most degenerate board Sup Forums.
This board is basically the exact opposite of everything christianity stands for.

How can the earth be flat?
The moon is circular, meteorites dont come flat.

Do they tell you that they have made tons of changes from the original Book Of Mormon? Did you know you're not reading the same first edition?

You are fake news

(Pss, then ask about the talking golden salamander)

Are those cute missionary chicks that always come by dtf? I'm getting mixed signals from those two, i have no idea if they want to go to church or the bedroom. Fml

isn't it to like bless you to have more white babies?

Your undergarments are creepy and the girls had bushes when I was a kid

As long as you don't start strapping bombs on I don't care what you believe

It's half true.

On one part, we can count on white people to take up arms when needed. Mormons have always been vastly right.

Yes, we do stock guns and ammunition. We even have a lot of stockpiles hidden in mountains, in & around Utah, guarded 24/7.

Weapons, ammo, food, clothing, etc.

When Katrina hit, mormons rolled in with hummers & supplied people with a lot of stuff. Same with Puerto Rico being hit.

We are ready for the eventual collapse of the US government. The mormons founded Salt Lake City after being chased & murdered by other American Christians. We've been betrayed before, and it will happen again.

there's a shit load of mormons on this site

How is that Mormon underwear treating ya?

quora.com/What-is-the-story-of-a-talking-salamander-in-the-Mormon-church-teaching-about

It's hilarious how young Mormons don't know their own church. I have no incentive to lie to you son. When you find out everything I said is true, how will you reconcile it? I feel bad for the you for the cognitive dissonance you will experience.

Same here