Shitlets BTFO

>Cosmo polled over 500 of our female readers and asked them one simple question
>"what do you prefer: a man who does small poops or large poops?"
>surprisingly woman prefer men who do large to very large poops
>"it tells me he is a healthy alpha male, there's something primal about it"

>tldr if you aren't dropping 12 inch logs every few hours you aren't a real man and she will leave you

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>every few hours

I only shit every few days

Poor Pajeets only shit liquid.

I drop 24" logs into my girlfriends mouth every hour AMA

Amerisharts win again. You yuropoor soyim would fall ass-first into our toilets.

poop size depends on diet mostly

aight I feel like this is some bogus shit. Like, if someone came up to you on the street and asked you that question, wouldn't it be intuitive to just say "uh lol okay, large shits I guess?" fake news man

I'm addicted to heroin.

The bitches love me.

MODS MODS MODS

>that increasing dread when it reaches day 7 without a shit
Sometimes it's rough being a genetically superior man.

Women want at least
6' or taller
6" or larger dick
6 figure or larger bank account
6" and girthy shitlogs

I poo exactly once per day. Right after I eat my only meal of the day, breakfast. It comes on hard and fast and it usually just a load of brown liquid.

>I only eat meat that was freshly killed
>lightly charred on both sides

Guess the size of my log.

>caring what women say they think they want

>digits confirm. Hail Shitler!

Personally i dont think i could date a woman who insisted on staring into the crapper with a measuring tape every time i took a dump

...

>6" and girthy shitlogs

WITH CORN IN IT

My gf gleefully eats my poop, that's how i know she genuinely loves me.

Human beings are so fucking grotesque.

Oh I got you guys on this one, no one can squat a grumpy like I can, I leave smear stains, EVERY.
SINGLE. TIME.

>shitlet internet defence force raiding my thread hard

i bet youre scared of peeing next to someone at a urinal too

>tfw 3 medium sized poopoo
i can at least pull in fatties, r-right guys.. ?

>poops every few days

What a manlet, like do you even lift bro (pic related)

You do not understand female psychology. They are not thinking of your poop size, they are thinking how their poop size compares to hers.
It's embarrassing if she outpoops you, much like it's embarrassing if she's taller than you.

That's not healthy, you probably have an impacted colon. Take the dildo out and jog a little bit user.

My poo looks like skyline chilli

i shit tons everyday, yet i'm not chad, sage

Im scared of peeing next to you

Only Chad has corn in his shit.

>mfw what I lack in dick size I make up for in poop size.
I didn't even know 12 inches was considered big for a shit.

>angry pooplet spotted

unless it involves literal shit battles using our asses as mobile shitcannons against each other, then i'm not interested as there's no sport involved

I've taken footlong shits before, is there something wrong with me?

>t. Pajeet

relevant
youtube.com/watch?v=sIy8hVtPX4A

You're American.

Shit Pic Is The New Dick Pic - Katy Perry

Hypothetically if taking a dump in front of girls sunbathing in the beach would ensure a handsome man establish dominance if his turd is big enough? Will they be turned on by the strong smell? Will it only work in Pajeet Land?

Seriously, unironically fuck you George

I can just imagine it now...... /cue shimmery dreamy effect
>at a pub somewhere and approach a hot woman
"Hey gorgeous"
>"hmmm.. hi"
"I do 12 inch shitlogs every 4 hours"
>"OMG FUCK ME NOW!"

>expecting a woman who drops poos the size of large babies to respect his rabbit turds.

...

Wow thank god. This makes me feel a lot better about events form my past

>he failed shit inspection day

Men care too. My husband calls me into the bathroom to take a look whenever he has a huge single poop or just any weird poop in general.

Stop doing so much down lad.

ITT: Literal Shitposting discussion.

And do Indians count?

I mean, there could be an indian dude who literally paul bunyan's toilets, they had to build him a special one because all the rest couldn't take that shit.

I have literally all of those. I stay inside all day, I'm a loner. Never met a woman that wanted me.

>Used to work with road crews on the freeway. >Truckers shit on the side of the road
>Weigh stations
>Trucker stops
>Fuckin' anyplace
>We all have to avoid their shits
>One day I find the biggest shit
>Know immediately it's the biggest shit I'll see in my life
>Looks like a solid bear turd
>It's as round as a beer bottle and a foot long
>Refuse to let it go
>force my coworkers to come look at it
They concluded some sick and twisted trucker was shoving dildos up his ass and holding his shit in to make a turd that big, I don't think that's how it works, but something was going on with this guy who took this monster shit.

How the fuck does your woman even know what size your shits are? Are you some sort of animal who doesn't know how to flush?

...

this fucking thread

How long before a Sup Forums autist gets arrested for trying to show his giant poops to girls?

i'd never date a woman who poops. women shouldn't poop.

WHERE MUH HILL DAWGS WOOF WOOF

I like to hold my shit in until it's a solid mass and pretend it's a giant plug, put there by a dominatrix who will only take it out after I have been a good boy.

Did you dry dock? Does it curl? If you poo in the woods and there's no one around to hear it, does it really make a smell?
>the questions are the answers
>the poo is the keystone
>follow the brown trout

jesus christ

I don't know who to hate more, the Chads who shit corn, or the slut whores who crave those golden kernels.

dropping logs means the shitter has been taking it up the ass.

Someday someone will forget to flush.
Girls just don't like the idea of outmanning their man

...

This is proof that women HATE Soyboys

>tfw 4 inch shits, 3.5 inch dick, 5'9", $12000 salary, and brainlet IQ
END IT ALL

first: i've seen this pasta 2 years ago, where the fug did you dig that up?
second: i consistently shit around half a liter of liquid since i mostly eat carpaccio, burgers without lettuce/tomatoes (fuck tomatoes especially) and steaks. is that also sexy?

So how do you approach a girl when you have to show her your shit? How do you word it?

>6666
spooped.jaypeg

>pooplet

Best thread I've seen in a while desu.

I personally carry a bronze cast of my largest stool on a chain around my neck

"i got a very long shlong in my bong hole."

Women will quickly break up with a man if they find out he has no corn in his shit. It's a sign of high status to them, and if you lack it, they no longer feel tingles for you.

Fuck you. This is the best thread I've seen on this board in weeks.

Current year and not using fecal matter
As a means of maintaing power in the household.
>Come home from work
>Wifey has done chores and warmly welcomes you with a smile
>Dinner is cooking and children are playing
>wait.png
>You notice wife using store brand ingredients.
>This shit won't fly, our children need real nourishment, not Wally World crap.
>Firmly yet restrained, you throw her to the ground
>you take off your slacks and tie her to the coffee table with your belt
>She asks ,"user what's going on"
>Spreading your buttcheeks, a wave of excretion, forged from 9 hours worth of coffee and tuna sandwiches brewing in your stomach hit her
>"NOOOOO" she screams
>As wifey is crying and chunks are entombing her, you scream at the children, "TO YOUR ROOMS, NOW"
>Dookie torrent ceases suddenly
>Wifey learns lesson.

I've had opiate shits before too. Fucking brutal.

Pajeets have to be alpha at something.

>tfw at least a +12" massive log dump today
roasties wants the mosties

Underrated

Some faggots try to fake it by sprinkling corn on their shit after the fact.... but chicks can tell... they can tell.

So, All women are closet scat fetishists...

This explains everything. Particularly their lust for nigger dick

t. turdlet

Shithouse tip: Place a single piece of paper down in the bowl to prevent splash-back and noise.

Then she's clearly missing out. Once a roastie finally hooks, don't be a faggot and commit; do the right thing and lead her on for years and dump her ass.

I shit about 5 times a day, some large some small.

more irrelevant shit to make people hate themselves?

the fuck is this literal shit

5'9''
6.5 inch winky
less than 5 figures at all times
variable between ghost poos or long logs

Probably should off myself.

Pooplets BTFO
You mad fibre boi?

What the hell are these threads, and why are they here?

Take your fetish nonsense to

This deserves more .

Just add some weights to your cock to make it longer

until your shit gets so big it clogs the toilet every time you go
its not fun.

no u

Scat fetish is high T. Only soyboys don't eat their girlfriends shit

Google "cosmopolitan poop" and see how many poo articles they publish. What a shitty magazine, pun not intended.

3 feet?

>t.shitlet

Either you are not eating normal or you don't get enough fiber.

Probably a combination of both.

>implying this doesn't up your game
I've clogged up the toilet many times with female company in the other room. After that, I noticed that they couldn't stop smiling at me. A few of them also kept rubbing my arm from time to time.
Clogging toilets asserts dominance.