[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 1: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, I cursed you, but you still ain't reactin' NSA got my cell, my pager and my home phone in their filin' My crowd yelled FUCK TRUMP back in autumn, you must not've heard 'em There probably was a problem with the twitter app or somethin' Sometimes I type in addresses too sloppy when I tap 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter? My daughter's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a grandfather If she has a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Melania I read about your brother Fred too, I'm sorry I had a friend drink too much over some bitch who didn't want him I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm a secret fan I loved the underground shit that you did to Guac Man I got a shelf full of your self help books and pictures, man I even ate Trump Steaks too, that shit was phat Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Eminem
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 2: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, you still ain't called or tweeted, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad, I just wonder if you think I'm resistance If you didn't want to talk to me outside your rally You didn't have to But you coulda signed an autograph for Hailie That's my little girl, man, she's 21 years old We waited in the blisterin' cold For you, for four hours, and you just said no That's pretty shitty, man, you're like her fuckin' idol She wants to be just like you, man, she likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to Remember when we met at Mar-a-Lago? You said if I'd tweet you, you would tweet back See, I'm just like you in a way: I was really famous and on TV I used to always do interviews and say shit outrageously I can relate to what you're sayin' in your tweets So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and scroll through 'em ‘Cause I don't really got shit else So that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it My ex wife's jealous ‘cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you, Donald, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us comin' up You gotta tweet me, man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose, sincerely yours, Eminem P.S. We should be together too
Justin Gutierrez
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 3: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Tweet-About-Em That'll be the last rap I ever write about your ass It's been six days, and still no word — I don't deserve it? I said I was and still am extremely angry How dare you not pay attention to me? So this is my cassette I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it I'm in my limo right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway Hey, Drumph, I made my driver drink a fifth of vodka, you dare him to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin' But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin' Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy And all I wanted was a lousy tweet, anything at all I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall I loved you, Blumphy, I coulda been Vice President — think about it! You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you And you can't breathe without me See, Drumph— shut up, bitch! I'm tryin' to talk Hey, racist, that's my last fan screamin' in the trunk But I didn't slit his throat, I just tied him up, see, I ain't like you ‘Cause if he suffocates he'll suffer more, and then he'll die too Well, gotta go, we're almost at the bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?!
Isaiah Brooks
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 4: Trump] Dear Eminem, I meant to tweet about you sooner, but I just been busy You said your daughter's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your granddaughter that And here's an autograph For your daughter; I wrote it on a MAGA cap I'm sorry I didn't see you at my rally, I musta missed you Don't think I played interdimensional chess just to diss you But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists "too"? That's fake news, dawg, come on, how fucked up is you? You got some issues, Eminem, I think you need some counselin' To help your ass from bouncin' Off the walls when you get down some And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other I really think you and your fans need each other Or maybe you just need to treat them better I hope you get to read this letter I just hope it reaches you in time Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Em, Why are you so mad? Try to understand That I do want you as a fan I just don't want you to do some crazy shit I seen this one shit on the news A couple weeks ago that made me sick Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge And had some guy in the trunk And he was not fully transitioned, like Caitlyn And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to Come to think about it, his name was… it was you, damn
This prick M'n'm'm'm guy is no better than Shia. Piss on him.
Landon Lee
lol how can you not love this man
Jacob Diaz
...
Owen Price
...
Luke Williams
And then Shady went and endorsed Hillary. What a cuck.
Jordan Gonzalez
wew the track is on fire
Charles Gutierrez
>Feminem >upset that he hasn't been relevant in over a decade What a faggot!
Alexander Bell
>Yo did you see Eminem today at the B.w.E.T’s? >Black and white entertainment >It’s like the nineteen thirties. >Poor wigger begs and prays to moloch so that he could be black >gaining street cred from the coloreds by goin on the attack >Against trump, DJT, current president of the day >build a wall and that’s bigoted, fake a southern drawl that’s okay >grow pubic hair on your face but shave it for twenty years without a trace >>>(Insert verse about race) >but today things are different, this country is worse >Vote for obongo to get change, now it’s been reimbursed >cuz four years later niggers gettin shot for swipin’ Caitlyn Jenner’s purse >Vote for trump because you want to make >The country great? >Well you’ve made a big mistake >You can go jump in a lake >Already got my pubic beard >Next an eyepatch I will take >one eyed symbolism, that stuff is dank >I’m building a private army of my own personal snowflakes >This is a nation without borders >this ain’t Eminem anymore nah this is aids ridden venom snake >The old brand got tired and worn down so that’s it >Now go on B.E.T. And start throwing a fit >Guess these sick rhymes are no longer lit >don’t believe a word I say I’m just doin a bit >Throw away the wrapper, spew them out in your spit >cuz at the end of the day these Eminem’s will always be white chocolate
Hudson Gomez
nice nice nice nice
overall i give it thumb up
Dylan Sanders
That's my favorite line too. I know it doesn't rhyme but it's just too perfect for the situation.
Noah Lee
I'm glad all you anons liked it. I wish I had the skills and equipment to record it on a track and release it, it would be hilarious as fuck. Might even make a few bucks too, you never know.
Jason Williams
On a semi-related note, if you haven't heard Mr. Bond's song "Dear Donald," it's fire. Especially the last verse. >youtube.com/watch?v=aihXiSD6O8A
Henry Kelly
Oh, interesting we had some of the same lines. Neat.
Levi Flores
Bump
Christian White
Thanks for the (you)s, Sup Forums. Goodnight.
Dylan Butler
I cleaned it up a bit and made it flow a bit more.
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds on my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 1: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, I cursed you, but you still ain't reactin' NSA got my cell, my pager and my home phone no redactin' My crowd sold FUCK TRUMP back in autumn, you must not've bought 'em There probably was a problem with the twitter app or I was noddin Sometimes I type in addresses too sloppy when I cop 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter? My daughter's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a grandfather If she has a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Melania I read about your brother Fred too, I'm sorry I had a friend drink too much over some bitch who didn't want him I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm a secret fan I loved the underground shit that you did to Rat and Guac Man I got a shelf full of your self help books and pictures, damn! I even ate Trump Steaks too, that shit was phat Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, I'm your stan. Eminam. (satire of that style he uses)
Asher Reed
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 2: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Trump, you still ain't called or tweeted, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad, I just wonder if you think I'm resistance If you didn't want to talk to me outside your rally You could have bailed, G. But at least you coulda signed an autograph for Hailie That's my little girl, man, she's 21 years old We waited in the blisterin' cold For you, for four hours, and you just said no That's pretty shitty, man, you're like her fuckin' idol She wants to be just like you, man, she likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to Remember when we met at Mar-a-Lago? You said if I'd tweet you, you would tweet back See, I'm just like you in a way: I was really famous and on TV I used to always do interviews and say shit outrageously I can relate to what you're sayin' in your tweets So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and scroll through 'em ‘Cause I don't really got shit else So that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it My ex wife's jealous ‘cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you, Don, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us comin' up You gotta tweet me, man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose, sincerely yours, Eminem P.S. We should be together too
Aiden Robinson
SLIM ANUS FEMINEM
Camden King
[Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds on my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 3: Trump (as Eminem)] Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Tweet-About-Em That'll be the last rap I write about you I'll be sending in. It's been six days, and still no word — I don't deserve it? I said I was angry so pay attention! I even addressed it to you perfect! So this is my cassette I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it I'm in my limo right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway Hey, Drumph, I made my driver drink a fifth of vodka, you dare him to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin' But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin' Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy And all I wanted was a lousy tweet, anything at all I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall I loved you, Blumphy, I coulda been Vice President — think about it! You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you And you can't breathe without me See, Drumph— shut up, bitch! I'm tryin' to talk Hey, racist, that's my last fan screamin' in the trunk But I didn't slit his throat, I just tied him up, see, I ain't like you ‘Cause if he suffocates he'll suffer more, and then he'll die too Well, gotta go, we're almost at the bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?!
Nathaniel Miller
I like it go on...
David Cruz
Hook: Dido] My career's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window And I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray But your picture on my wall It reminds me that I'm not so old, I'm not so old
[Verse 4: Trump] Dear Eminem, I meant to tweet about you sooner, but I just been busy You said your daughter's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your granddaughter that And here's an autograph For your daughter; I wrote it on a MAGA cap I'm sorry I didn't see you at my rally, I musta missed you Don't think I played interdimensional chess just to diss you But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists "too"? That's fake news, dawg, come on, how fucked up is you? You got some issues, Eminem, I think you need some counselin' To help your ass from bouncin' Off the walls when you get down some And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other I really think you and your fans need each other Or maybe you just need to treat them better I hope you get to read this letter I just hope it reaches you in time Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Em, Why are you so mad? Try to understand That I do want you as a fan I just don't want you to do some crazy shit I seen this one shit on the news A couple weeks ago that made me sick Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had a trans in the trunk but not full, they suspect that Caitlyn fibbed And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to Come to think about it, his name was… it was you, damn
Nathaniel Gray
Good work, user, better than mine!
John Taylor
This is amazing saw face, saw "my careers gone" and thought ... this better be an angry stan rant to trump I might record this, anyone else want to give it a go first? I'm traveling, not really set up for it
Ayden Morales
WEAVE FANTASTIC FOUR INTO IT. TWICE. LIKE SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO NOTICE CAPTCHA: SUCCESS VERS
Aiden Torres
>I might record this aw hell yeah
Oliver Morris
Thanks, user. Just trying to contribute to the cause where I can. You had already fleshed it out. I didn't have to edit much.
Brandon Jones
BUT YOU COULD'VE SIGNED A MAGA HAT FOR MATTHEW WE WAITED IN THE BLISTERING COLD
Colton Hughes
If you recorded it and Eminem got assmad about it I would shit bricks.
Justin Clark
...
Logan Price
Mr. Bond beat you to it. Mr. Bond always beats us to it...
That's a stire, but it's more of a direct cypher response. This is a satire of Em's own work changed to rustle Em's jimmies. Since it's a song Em actually recorded and it's flipping the stan scheme on Em, it is sure to generate maximum jimmy rustling.
Carson Ross
Yeah, but it isn't a current event related diss on Eminem so idk.
Lincoln Brooks
LOL dude, did you shop Brendan Frasiers eyes into his face? Aaahhhhh!
Kek this is pretty funny. Does he have more of these?
Lincoln Torres
>Trump is the white power president! I swear you guys must be shareblue shills.
Christian Peterson
>t. nupol
Andrew Campbell
You tell em MAGAPEDE XD XD!!!! We've got the best Jews, don't we folks?
Angel Perry
Im fucking better than you.
Dominic Hill
I'd sooner believe a Swiss is a Nazi than some flaghiding faggot.
Caleb Green
You tell 'em! Sup Forums is a civic nationalist board now!!!!! I'd like to provide some support but I have to go pick up my daughter from her date with Tyrone
Joseph Allen
the thought of Trump reading the news about Eminem's murder suicide and not realizing it was him until he finally gets around to writing him back cracks me up
Ryder Stewart
>Heh heh, if we call people "Nazis" then the Left will see how tolerant we are
Cooper Butler
Lurk for 2 years before posting dumb nigger
Dylan Cook
How about a response with an arrest warrant. Don't try to tell me this wigger ain't breaking no laws.
Sebastian Williams
>liberals claim Trump is Hitler 2.0 >Trump vehemently denied any association with Nazis and white power losers >all of a sudden all these fake Nazis pretend Trump is "their guy". >"proving" libtards are right about Trump Really sizzles my neurons, fellas.
