The absolute state of California

The absolute state of California.

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youtube.com/watch?v=5r998weOUiM
ambulancedriverfiles.com/2006/12/30/when-ostriches-attack/
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I thought California was only a normal state.

Califag who lives in a neighborhood with wild turkeys.

AMA.

It is legal to kill one turkey per month, iirc. They are making the emu wats look like Viet Nam.

I'm financing this shit.
I'm an avid consumer of almonds, and the big majority of the almonds I consume are from California.
They're expensive, but they so gooood!

>beta cuckifornian
>drive expensive car cannot afford
>turkey scratches car
>sue california for damages
>class action lawsuit
>10 years later get 10.3 shekels for scratched mercedes

>based oregonian
>get in truck
>open carry
>run turkeys over
>get out
>shoot fleeing turkeys
>gather turkeys into truck
>food

>that ID

GETTIN YOUR GIBS EASILY THERE KEKIFORNIAN

>he thinks Califags drive Mercedes

Tesla or nothing, poorfag

Why don't they just kill them?

Fuck we had turkeys in my neighborhood a year or two back. One of those bastards tried to fight a dude wielding a fucking shovel. The turkey forced the dude to fall back into his car until help arrived.

I've seen them dozens of times and seen no issue. Click bait article

There's a bunch of wild turkeys here in Michigan but they stay out of the roads and keep to themselves.

you did not address the concern you're actively being cucked by oversized birds, gibsme.

The mighty emu's talons will reach you, even in the safety of the United States

My goodness if only they had access to some type of tool that could be used to kill these birds from a distance.

What the fuck did you say to me bitch?

>Ostrich
>clearly more based than Emus
>makes burgers for burgerland
>can let your child ride ostrich at ostrich farm providing maximum child entertainment
>eggs are edible as well if necessary
>can jump high as fuck in air and scratch out emus eyes
>doesnt give a fuck about kangaroos because kangaroos are bitches
>jelly ausfags wish they could have american style ostrich burger on their barbie
>ausfags permanetly cucked

If only there were objects that easily and simply shot out fast metal bits that killed vermin in the blink of an eye.
>California
Oh right, gotta think of the chilluns

If we end up losing a war against turkeys, Australia will shitpost us into oblivion.

>Why don't they just kill them?

Because firing weapons is illegal within city limits almost everywhere within the San Francisco Bay Area.

>you did not address the concern you're actively being cucked by oversized birds, gibsme.

They don't bother most people who've lived here for a while. The problem is all the limp-wristed autistic tech faggots who work at Google lose their shit and start crying whenever an animal isn't 100% cuddly and adorable all the time.

Better wild turkeys than niggers

Also avocados.
>oregon
>first state to add "no gender" to IDs

Yep...

One turkey did this? I hit one with my car then squeezed it to death while it was dazed. It was delicious.

giv feasy

What did you think turkeys do?

>They don't bother most people who've lived here for a while
That's bullshit. I know for a fact people in their 80's who have lived their whole lives in the area are sick of them shitting all over their property. More like they don't bother poorfags who live in apartments.

Do you eat them? They are excellent eating.

kek

youtube.com/watch?v=5r998weOUiM

the governor will get the fucking rope when State of Jefferson is enacted

Ohio fag
Pay State 25 bucks for license to kill only one turkey.
(don't get caught otherwise)

I live in california about 5 miles from the oregon border. The State of Jefferson stuff is serious for a great many people. Portland and Salem do not represent the rest of the state.

I live right across from the woods so I see turkeys, wild hogs, coyotes, and all that shit. Fucking hogs knocked over my trashcan while turkeys invaded my backyard. I have a goddamn shotgun loaded and ready, but the law says that I can't shoot within the city. I've also had to pepper spray a coyote while walking my dog. Still far from the worst thing around here though.

Ohiofag simply move to country.

If they're on my property out in the country I'm pretty sure the state can't fucking say shit to me about it if I kill some wild animals. At least my area of Oregon... no ones got licenses or any of that shit. Wild deer comes on property boom dinner and delicious venison jerky to last through winter.

Not that any of the Oregonians I know over hunt or anything. Highly doubtful game services would fuck with you for killing a turkey on your property in Oregon. They are certainly in no danger of becoming extinct.

Southern Oregon bro here. You coastal or inland? With the way things are going right now we literally may see Nor Cal. / So Oregon secede. If they try to split cali up Nor Cal / So Oregon = State of Jefferson hands down

>Ohiofag simply move to country.
Live on 3,000 acre farm
Can't get much more "country"
Ohio fucking government
If they wonder on our property, they finished.
Wild turkey not that tasty anyways.
Farm raised fatties much better.

If that ever comes to fruition, I'll move back to the border of Jefferson and get a job doing patrol.

meant to post complimentary flag.

The movement is still alive and well brother. Plenty of flags flying and we're always at the fairs and stuff.

>That's bullshit. I know for a fact people in their 80's who have lived their whole lives in the area are sick of them shitting all over their property. More like they don't bother poorfags who live in apartments.

Boomers in the hills are USED TO THE THINGS BY NOW. They're not new or anything, they've been crawling all over Tilden and the other nature areas for decades.

>Do you eat them? They are excellent eating.

Not the ones here. A friend killed and cooked one once and said it tasted like hot garbage. They eat shit and trash when they're around big cities.

>I live in california about 5 miles from the oregon border.

Crescent City area? Or near Yreka? I'd love to live in that part of the state but there aren't any damn jobs and the schools are shitty. I looked into Eureka for a long time but the employment situation is just awful up there.

>The problem is all the limp-wristed autistic tech faggots who work at Google lose their shit and start crying whenever an animal isn't 100% cuddly and adorable all the time.
Hard to believe in a state that has many mountain lions (cougars)
Go hiking up in L.A. hills. They're all over.

how it feels to live with turkic shitskins?

They've probably gotten worse because of dumbfucks feeding them. The deer population near my grandparents has exploded the last couple year because of that.

Oregon.

You had so much potential and hou wasted it.

Good. I've wasted a small fortune on bird seed to get these motherfuckers to leave

Even the wildlife hates Californians.

Please god destroy the area with Earths fault lines.

...

This gives me an idea. What if somebody were to by 500 lbs worth of barley, some crickets from a fishing store, spent a few months feeding and breeding the crickets, coating those crickets in your own shit, and then releasing the army of crickets in SF to cause mass havoc and chaos?

They're used to them, but it doesn't mean they aren't annoyed by it. They are a nuisance. That sucks they aren't good in the cities. I've eaten some in the north bay and they are great. The stomach was full of leaves, so it sounds like they're eating a lot better.

Is it all because of Portland? I think the rest is just people living very cheaply in bum fuck nowhere who don't even know that kind of thing is happening.

Are these seriously our locusts? good lord.

The people that live in the country are armed to the fucking teeth with gadsden flags flying literally everywhere dude. State of Jefferson. I'm pretty sure Eugene isn't even south enough of the cutoff point. Southern oregon fucking despises portlandia

Also a large majority of the people moving into Southern Oregon are Californians and traditional Southern Oregoners are right wing and/or libertarian. Not many retarded LGBTIQ+ bullshit going on.(SOU discluded) It's definitely worse than it was say 10 years ago. That's the fucking jewtube for you.

can we just give them a reservation like we did the indians and be done with it?

They've been in my neighborhood for a few years now. They move out of the way.

t. 925.

Get a crossbow dumbshit!

why don't they just shoot them?

GO TURKEYS

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>california
>guns
o i am laffin

A rubber band and paper clip is the best we can do out here unfortunately

If you shoot a BB gun at a can in city limits the SWAT team will arrive. It's a literal police state. It's approaching NYC status in several counties at a rapid rate. California does not care about your personal rights and freedoms.

The first time I saw one in the neighborhood was a handful of years ago. One was on my lawn and exploring the neighbor's as well. Their garage was cracked open, and I thought it got loose. Now, you're probably thinking "Who the fuck owns a turkey in suburbia?" Well, maybe they had some weird relative who brought one in a cage for some odd reason and it escaped. I had unlimited opportunities to strangle it and kill it, even when it chased the dog in the back yard. Now we have 50 or so in a group roaming around and at 5am sharp, making noises. I figured they were dliberately placed in the area from the city for some sort of pest control or whatever, and I don't wanna get fined. Second, like the above user said, it may taste like hot garbage from what they eat, though my area is very clean and they eat flowers here.

Berkeley here.

They’ve been here forever, but yeah, there has been an uptick lately I guess.

You do regularly see them. It’s not a big deal at all. Not newsworthy.

There's a malignant tumor in the State of Jefferson, a colony of Marin County expats called Ashland. It needs to be disincorporated and the public schools put under direct State of Jefferson control to remove cultural Marxism. With a sufficiently hostile environment the cancer will move to Colorado.

>cancer will move to Colorado
no fuck of we're full. too much cancer already

Turkeys are stupid fucking birds, they're all over our campus. They're not dangerous whatsoever, ducks are scarier. I regularly pick them up and toss them out of the way when trying to get to classes and their fat asses think they own the stairs.

Yeah I know man.. I indirectly addressed this in this post:

Dude what the fuck do we do about the Ashlandfags? They are SUCH a cancer.

I've worked on properties in that area and there's plenty of based natives but SOU is a cancer. Trying to ban fucking open carry in city limits and shit. Did they pass that? I've been away for a few years.

Watch. Ashland is a prime target for some fucked up MKULTRA shit.

Wouldn't they just fuckoff to north of Jefferson border? Marin is fucking DISGUSTING. The WORST humans in that god damn county.

Is Berkeley really as bad as it seems on the news? Are you in Antifa? Did you fuck Moldylocks?

I'm getting fed up with this shit. I live in Roseburg and I've been seeing so many niggers lately. It use to be just one or two every few months, a rarity. Now it's 3-4 every day.
Robberies have gone up a ton, a few niggers got arrested for it.
A lot of homeless are coming in too, I assume they're all from California as well since that's where a lot of the trash comes from.

What's bringing them here exactly? Kate Brown?

I fucking hate wild turkeys, they play by the highway and then they startle themselves and flutter into traffic. A 20lb bird hitting your windshield at 80 mph is not fun.

I also live near wild Turkeys

That reminds me, has anyone else noticed a startling increase in roadkill lately?

California and Hawaii actively buy tickets undisclosed to public to send their unwanted away en masse. San Francisco deporting it's filth to Oakland is already filth is a prime example.

>Earths fault lines
Be careful what you wish kiwi, one of the most active faults is crossing your country.
Remember Christchurch 2011.

> Think Tesla's are driven by rich people
I live in fucking New Zealand and even I know an S-Class shits on everything Tesla produces

>Cassowary
>Most dangerous bird in world
>Can cut You in half with 5 inch long claw
>Have spikes on each wing
>Can jump 5ft off of the ground
>Prized delicacy in New Guinea

Wow /pol!!
Just how much damage are you guys doing with CBTS????
Must be a lot if people are posting shit like this story

pls no mention raptors....they might be listening...

>There are three extant species. The most common of these, the southern cassowary, is the third-tallest and second-heaviest living bird, smaller only than the ostrich and emu.

>based ostrich
>maximum of 9' 5"
>correct nine feet five inches
>heigth

pretty sure based ostrich could fuck shit up a lot more than that cuddly wuddly. Here in murica we grow em for fun and eat em. Oh, and we've domesticated them so our children may ride them before we put them on the barbie.

GRONK HISSSSS

Ostriches kill little old ladies:
ambulancedriverfiles.com/2006/12/30/when-ostriches-attack/

From the post:
We stop back at the scene to pick up my POV so the Missus can drive it home, and we find six very shaken deputies hovering near the carcass of a very dead ostrich. Steve is sitting on the tailgate of his patrol SUV, shaking his head in disbelief. His hands are trembling, and his voice is no longer very cool.

“We got the go ahead to kill him. I hit him center mass with two .40 rounds. Sumbitch didn’t even flinch…”

“S-s-sum-sumbitch charged us!” chimes in another deputy, his voice quavering. “I had to take him out with the riot gun. Two rounds of three inch, double-ought buck! He p-p-piled up right at our f-f-feet…”

What about Niggers drinking wild Turkey?

Some would. More would move to Nevada or Colorado for the sun. It is dismal up here in NW OR.

see this bongs and barbies.

Jefferson border is south of Eugene right? Bend is included correct? Most the deschutes area? I've heard so many different things since I've been back its hard to tell.

Btw I actually enjoyed Astoria. That one bar strip club cracked me up. Seemed like some good 'ol timers. Talked with some of the conspiracy minded people...hahahaha. That town is a trip.

>WAfag
>can't kill turkey
>it hasn't given consent
>tuirkey given resident status
>given free schooling
>free ride to university
>becomes turkey civil rights lawyer
>advocates for turkey suffrage and turkey rights
>Seattlefags elect it mayor
>go on reddit and plaster turkey rights propaganda everywhere

Please Trump, save us from the turkey menace!

Mexican migration into California is driving out Californians. They come here and into every other western state. Many of the niggers coming into Oregon are Muslim refugees being resettled directly from Africa. I've seen many in Salem, Portland, and even on hiking trails in the Cascades. It's enraging.

Emu's on the other hand refuse to allow drunken Burgers to commit suicide by Bird:

He's nekkid!
Benny is the subject of several of my stories, along with his perpetually-pregnant wife, Jolene. Both of them were meek as churchmice -- until Benny got into the tequila. Which he did about once a month. Once he was good and liquored up, Benny would get depressed and attempt to off himself, but the traditional ways were never good enough for Benny. He'd lay down in front of a farmer's hay bailer, or chain himself to train tracks which hadn't seen a train in a hundred years, or try to drown himself in two inches of water.

Which would lead to one of us -- usually me -- arresting the five-foot-nothing Benny for Fooblic Intoxidation. Followed by Jolene attempting to defend her husband and going beserk.

Considering that Jolene was, as noted, usually pregnant and about 4 foot 8 inches tall, we usually attempted to avoid putting Jolene in jail. Not always successfully.

There I was, parked in the Allsup's lot with a Extra-Jumbo Dr. Pepper in one paw and a chimichanga in the other. Somewhere in the county a rookie officer was doing his first solo patrol. Life was good.

"SO, car 14."

*Chomp, chomp* "Go ahead."

"Car 14, car 20 requests backup at _____. He's nekkid."

>tfw marinite

>Ban assault turkeys
>No one is brave enough to approach them
>Turkeys given 5000 acres of land in the hopes this appeases them
>it doesn't

Niggers don't let that stop them, user. kek

But seriously though, I used to live in a small hamlet out in the valley near Sacramento. Every night you'd hear loonies, spics, faraway nogs and (probably much closer) methheads firing off their guns. Often pretty bigass ones from the sound of it.

Never underestimate California crazy, you guys.

Berkeley native here. Everytime we have a CA thread I notice how many of us are here, kek

Good to hear. I love that little town, always have. I might retire there. Spent a ton of time there in the 90s, recently began to visit a lot again. Seems like it hasn't changed much, it's too damn remote and cold and wet--just the way I prefer it.
>inb4 fucking Californians
My wife's family is from Oregon, she was born in Olympia because her military dad was stationed near there, she's always wanted to live there as an adult, and plus--I'm deep red to my very core, both of us are. Astoria needs more conservatives from what I hear, cool town though it is. I love the glorious bleak weather up there, so don't even start. Native califag here but it used to fucking rain when I was a kid. I hate this desert shit and I hate what libshits and criminals have made of this beautiful state. Death is too good for them. I'd like to help prevent Oregon from being similarly destroyed. I don't think it's too late.

Damn I would have a field day.

Turkeys are smart out in Alabama. They stick to the woods and the edge of clearings, and one muffled cough could scare them off.

what is this "f" and why do you giv it "easy"?

Brother. Plenty of fish to eat and deer ;)

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>I don't think it's too late.
It is. Oregon's lost. Astoria's lost too. Oregon's newfound reputation for liberalism along with legal weed and the California-style gun control coming next year is drawing in shitlibs from across the country. As white liberals take over, they invite in behind them the homeless, Mexicans, and Muslim refugees. Oregon is over. It's done.

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