>"Kyon! Kyon!"
>He turns around
>"I know what we can do! Lets go hunt autistic people along with aliens, time travelers and espers!"
>Later on that afternoon, Haruhi drags you down to the SOS clubroom
>"YAHOOOOOOOO! This is user and he's autistic, autistic people are VERY mysterious, right Kyon?"
What do you do?
Announce my undying love to Haruhi.
"I am John Smith."
>You're looking for my brother. See, we're twins.
I just realized how Haruhi would take that, shoot.
Tell her I agree because she's a hundred times more autistic than I could ever be and therefore a hundred times more interesting. She ought to take the compliment.
gg
Tell her that she already has Yuki, and that she herself has some kind of assburgers.
Haruhi has an Autism Card and shows it to the police every time she does stupid shit and gets away with it.
Kyon's real name is Kami
He remarks about his name being "too grandiose" in the book.
Kyon is literally bored god who lent power to haruhi
I try to fuck Nagato.
That doesn't sound anything like Kyon. It's obviously 強魔.
I thought it was Kyorosuke. Or did that translation of the last novel just troll me?
Play along because I love Haruhi
I do what I do in any other instance where I'm supposedly in the same universe as Haruhi, I do everything in my power to kill her and make sure that if it fails I can easily kill myself
>Kyorosuke
Hahahahahaha what the fuck
>Implying
>and make sure that if it fails I can easily kill myself
>when it fails
ftfy
Have a staring contest with Nagato.
>let out an earth shaking REEEEE
>take off running as fast as I can
>quickly run out of breathe
>they catch up
>"hm, you kids are tough, huh? let's see if you can handle THIS!"
>*unsheathes katana*
>sneak behind them at incredibly high speed that they don't even notice I moved
>whisper "nothin personel kid, but you've seen my power so now you must die" before cutting all their throats with one graceful swipe of my katana
Tell her I was just pretending to be retarded.
"No, Haruhi. You are the autists."
Fuck Kyon's ass and then he will be humble.
Quickly get on the Yuki route before Kyon tries anything.
I sez to her "your show a shit, if you hadn't invented moee then maybe manime would still be alive and anime wouldnt be all moeeshit"
then put on my sunglasses, produce a colt 1911 pistol from my pocket holster and shoot her right between the eyes, and then jump out the window onto a motorcycle and drive off while "Violence of the Flame" plays in the background
Grap Mikuru, dress her in the maid costume, slap on Yuki's glasses and proceed to rape her.
Then tell Haruhi: Yes Haruhi, I'm autistic and love to rape your pet project!