Gimme your best racist jokes Sup Forums

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No. They're mine.

Why did the nigger starve to death?

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
>Santa Claus goes down the chimney

>Be me
>1834
>Work at a plantation
>Cousin comes to my bed @ middle of night
>She wants to smash
>K
>We smash
>She has a kid
>Kid has huge lips, skinny body, and a massive forehead.
>He was black.

What is the worst thing about the Holocaust?
It never happened

not enough kfc

kek, i get it

What do you call the guy who takes the census in Mexico?

>the Bean Counter

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Cause they're ugly and they smell bad

What do Mexicans have in common with tribbles (pic related)?

>they're small, hairy, and do nothing but eat and breed.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
>Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

How do you get rid of the indians?
Bring the blacks in and tell em they taste like chicken

Q: What separates mankind from the beasts?

A:The Mediterranean sea

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the holohoax

A priest and a rabbi were walking down the street when the priest spots a young boy in the park across the way. He asks the rabbi, "Wanna fuck him?" The rabbi replies, "Outta what"?

because he kicked all the white people out of his country and it turned out that his entire race wasn't smart enough to run farms

USA

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>youtube.com/watch?v=U0YrG4pI004

ching chirong I have smarr pingas

Men age like wine, women age like milk.

Why did the woman cross the road?
>Who cares, the real question is what was she doing outside of the kitchen.

Three women find a genie, and he grants them each one wish. The first woman says, "I want to be twice as smart." The genie turns her from a blonde to a brunette. The second woman says, "I want to be 3 times as smart." He turns her into an Asian. The 3rd woman says, "I want to be smarter than both the other women put together." The genie sighs and says, "Are you sure?" She says, "Hell ya!" The genie turns her into a man.

What do you call an Asian pedophile?Fuck em young.

How do you starve a nigger?
>put his food stamps and welfare check in his work boots

Right, that's how most people look in the US. There are no distinct groups, racism is solved.

How is copperwire manufactured?
You throw a penny between two jews.

Why do blacks only have nightmares?
The first one to have a dream got shot

How many jews does it take to fix an oven?

>Don't know, we stopped at 6 million

Did you hear about the white guy?

>He didn't do well in school, dropped out, had to live at home with his mommy, and when he turned 35, was still a virgin, and spent most of his time masturbating to child porn.

An asian family decides to have a kid. How do they decide what to name him?

Throw some pennies in a jar and shake it

How do you fit 6,000,000 jews in a car?
>2 in the front seats, 2 in the back seats, and the rest in the ash trays

This is a joke thread, not a confessional.

How many jews can you fit in a volkswagen?
Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened

What's the difference between a jew and a large pizza?
>the large pizza can feed a family of 4

Why does the jew have a big nose?

>Because my friend, air is free.

Why do jews play football?

To get the quarterback

i think you got it confused

Apparently Prince Phillip has already invited Meghan Markle for a sight seeing tours through the history tunnels of Paris

1/2
"The Diverse"

Angela Merkel, a 14 year old bearded Arab and a swedish newborn baby walk into Al Jewzera network of peace, to meet with Immam-Bin-Al-Sultan Schlomo-Sheik-Sheckleberg-Mohammad-Salafi IIIII McMahmood Erdogan.

Immam-Bin-Al-Sultan Schlomo-Sheik-Sheckleberg-Mohammad-Salafi IIIII McMahmood Erdogan says to Angla Merkel and her performing Troupe:

"Oy vey salam malakem my filthy kaffirs, You have come to show us your new immigration policy yes? I wouldnt let you kaffirs in here; what with your devil white skin. Guards kill these harambes!"

Angela steps in and says:

"Please Monsieur Erdogan, Ich ist gut French European! I surrender My womb to you. let me show you my greatest triumph of western civillization, my refugee policy, before you behead me, gracious moderate kang."

Immam-Bin-Al-Sultan Schlomo-Sheik-Sheckleberg-Mohammad-Salafi IIIII McMahmood Erdogan shoo'ed away the moderate muslim brotherhood with his hands,and accepted Angelas offer.

"Please Angela no bully. I am poor muslim. y u no bomb assad angela? plz shw me i am poor refugee who am having sexual emergency. shw me your policy."

Angela rallies her troupe into position and the performance begins.

Angela immediately strips her clothes off (she had a specially designed pantsuit for this occasion) and reveals her massive masculine boy clitoris: she grasbs the newborn swedish baby and starts fucking it in the ass with her oversized clitoris, similar to that chimpanzee that throatfucked a frog. all the while the 14 year old bearded Somalian is licking his lips and masturbating. he is becoming scared by how emergent his sexual desires are and he begins howling to the air. Angela takes a moment to compliment the sound of the howls as a non eurocentric avant garde performance art for the new germany. Angela stops raping the child. picks it up by the leg and throws it to the 12 year old mostacheod preeschool hero and survivor of far right racism by assad.
They both pounce on the child.

>What do you call a nigger chick that has had 3 abortions....

>a crime fighter
>What would you call the Flintstones if they were black....

>N I G G E R S, you dumb ass

2/2
muhammad takes out a knife. he begins to cut at the childs genitals. blood starts pourong out uncontrollably, Anglea starts rolling around and lapping it up while making derranges sexual noises. she starts humping the areas of blood to rub her oversized clitoris on it and back on the child, writing words like 'empowered' and 'radical' on the skin of the child. akbar is taking his time to make sure he removes the entire genitals of the child. he rips the labia and clit off. Angela snatches the scraps and starts chewing on them like a rabid dog to a bone she shves the peices of skin in her orifeses and back into her mouth.
akbar ceremonially drinks the blood and begins the marrige ceremony. he starts calling out to the prophet muhammad and to Allah to the applause of the feminist government of sweden wo just arrived in full Hijab. Each of them looked upon this suitor and wondered if they could que up to join his Harem.
he made the islamic vows(he called her wife(its a lot like waifus)) and then proceeded to consemate Angela layed out on the floor. red like devil satin and shoved the babies head right up her ass.
snakbarz then footfucked the child until it baceme a bloody pulp, he then scaped the body up from the floor and put it in a shoebox, the head still inside Angela, and angela orgasmed a massive slurry of sludge from all her cavities onto the floor. she said "racist germans are finished. all hail the muslim germany the blessed 4th reich! das juden ist nein white devils will suffer!"

Angela then grabbed snackbar and started rallying him in the ear saying soft soothing things like a fraulein. then soilence.

Immam-Bin-Al-Sultan Schlomo-Sheik-Sheckleberg-Mohammad-Salafi IIIII McMahmood Erdogan looked upon the offering. He said:

"Angela..... I love it. What do you call it?"

Angela replied:

I call it.........

The Diversity!

Both end up in the oven tho

How do you tell if a Nigger is well hung?

> you can't fit your finger between the rope and his neck.

good point
usually the
>feed a family of 4
is used to compare a pizza to a black man (his ability to provide

and when we put a jew in, the usual punchline is 'a pizza doesnt scream'

the only good one

How do you get the Jew girls Number?

>You look at her arm.

I was chatting this liberal chick in a bar who told me that I should be more open to Muslim culture.

So I raped her.

Usain Bolt goes to join a golf club. The secretary says "We don't allow blacks at this club. However there's a club 10 minutes down the road that take blacks. "

Furious, Bolt replies "do you know who I am? I'm Usain fucking Bolt!"

"Oh, sorry, " replies the Secretary. "In that case, it's 5 minutes down the road! "

I slipped on black ice and hurt my back. I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I got up, my wallet was missing.

cuz he dindu nutt'n

The difference between a nigga ad a dog? Leash the dog to a chain and it won't create jazz music.

Gazi Kodzo.

as you command

This will be underrated.

Did you hear Harlem plans on upgrading their public transportation?

They're planting trees closer together.

Aw fuck you're right

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Black unity.

well played, Nigel

You have issues. That wasn't even a joke.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

A large pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

Only good one

A Frenchman, a Russian, a Romanian and a Gypsy sit down in the top of a building, with their feet hanging over the street they begging to drink
The frenchman open up a bottle of champaign, takes a sip and trows the rest of the bottle
>In La France we have so much l'champagne that je don't need to drink from one bottle more than one time
The Russian takes out a bottle of vodka, opens it, takes one drink and trows the rest of the bottle into the street
>In Poccиa there's so much vodka; no need to drink from bottle more than once
The Romani then takes two cans of beer, gives one to the Gypsy both take a sip and then the Romanian trows the Gypsy from the building
>In Romania we have so manny gypsies that you don't need to drink with one more than once

Walt Kowalski: Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here."

And many keks were had.
Thanks.

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You must be 18 to post here.
"The Aristocats" was the original version.

Because he 'appropriated' a white-owned farm without how to farm.

What to do if your son is floating?
>Call a priest
What to do if your TV is floating
>Turn on the lights and shoot the light

What's faster than a black with your TV?
>His brother with your microwave

What's red, silver, black, green, yellow, purple, gold, orange, and blue?

Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

What do you call 2 niggers fucking? Fucking niggers.

How do you pick up Jewish chicks?
With a shovel

>Where are you from
England
>What's your name?
Ahmed al-alawatakasknsjsnsa
>Sex?
Five times a week
>Oh, God. I meant "Male" or "Female"
Yes, female. Sometimes camel so I don't know if male
>Holy cow!
Cows too, so do sheeps, goats
>Oh, dear
No, not deer. Deer too fast

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
>Neither have they

You know what they say in France? Allah Akbar

A Muslim walks into a bar, orders shots for everyone hardy har har

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i thought the holocaust was fake

Two niggers walking down the street when they see a sign that says "We will make you white for 99 cents!". One has one dollar, the other 98 cents, so they agree on one going in and giving the one cent to the other.
The nigger with the full dollar enters and there comes out as a white man, his friend tells him to give him the cent so he can be white too, then his friend tell him "Get a job, nigger"

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wat

A nigger dressed for church.

What does it say on the bottom of Polish Coke bottles?

Cuz he's a nigger.

I don't know

i get it.jpg

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How do you stop a Mexican tank?

Shoot the guys pushing it.

>How do you stop a Mexican tank?
With speed bumps.

Why does the lion lick its arse?
To get rid of the negro taste.

"Open other end"

What's the difference between a naked white chick and a naked sheboon?

Why don't you throw a rock at a nigger riding a bike?
>It might be your bike

Why was the Mexican riding a lawn mower?
>He got a promotion

one doesn't have herpes?

>checks id

lost

A priest, a rabbi, and a bunch of kids are on a plane that's going to crash. They frantically look for parachutes and find there are only two, so the rabbi puts one on and gives the other to the priest. The priest asks, "what about the kids?" The rabbi says, "fuck the kids!" The priest asks, "Do you think we have time?"

The first one's in Playboy, the second is in National Geographic.

>Store being robbed by
>a chink
>a nigger
>and a mexican

>Cop shows up
>Only two bullets
>What does he do?
>Shoots the nigger twice.