/CIA/ - Recruitment

As you are well aware the Central Intelligence Agency has an portfolio of agents from thousands of different backgrounds.

So Sup Forums what makes you special? If you have something that benefits us...

>expect contact soon

RAREFAG

fpbp
not going to get better than this

Why would I want to traffic drugs and torture people?

nice flag

never seen that flag.

what makes me special is I know the secret to defeating radical Muslims

Uh oh it's the penguins of Madagascar back at it again

>french flag
>Rare

Pick one

French flag it is...

>So Sup Forums what makes you special?
-autism

If you have something that benefits us...
Putins phone number and MJ-12 INFO

you have nothing I want, and I have everything you need. Not really much of a fair bargain.

that is the white flag of surrender

when are you going to tell everyone about the ayyliums i saw the other night? dont worry i wont tell without your permission

This to be fucking honest.

>So Sup Forums what makes you special? If you have something that benefits us...
my family performed miracles for you in the past, I'm just as able to perform similarly,

call me up, been waiting for you guys forever,

>Why would I want to traffic drugs and torture people?
boredom and to protect America's interests dummy

Weow

>you have nothing I want, and I have everything you need.
they have unlimited data and need help processing it, you want none of unlimited data on everything?

I’m attractive
I have an average IQ
I’m 6’1”
I’m good at lying
I will do pretty much anything for a decent paycheck

I'm good at spotting patterns

Surely the CIA wants people who are not particularly stand out in any way.

PK is that you, mate?

jej

I want to kill a bunch of dumb arabs, hire me

antarctica damn

I have nothing to live for, no family, no friends, and am willing to take orders.

It's the ayyys. Which is why the Pope made a very special visit there, he's crazy about ayys.

I once ddos my teachers pc in a lab environment.

/end

Dunno about the CIA but I'd gladly pledge my life, fortune and sacred honor for the betterment of my country. This country has given me so much I can state this without hesitation or mental reservation.

i'm p good at figuring out people's true meaning behind actions, as well as judging people and how they will accept ideas

>gullible.jpg

> So Sup Forums what makes you special?
Nothing.

> If you have something that benefits us...
Hands off my shekels.

I blend in seamlessly with terrible degenerates.

>I have nothing to live for, no family, no friends, and am willing to take orders.
who cares about that, can you program, how many languages do you speak, you good with maps, do you remember things, any financial ability with investments, any kind of esp when it comes to snitches or drug deals, any kind of gut feeling for crime?

I've been here since I was 13. Sup Forums is the only thing I know.

I don't have anything that benefits you,
so as per your word
I'll be expecting no contact from you,
ever,
for any reason,
at all.
Ever.

Thanks.

I can get any info you wish and im a data center expert as well as i can fly any airtplanes and i can drive an 18 wheeler as well as repairing any engine i also know about painting jets and airplanes and i know yall use a secret paint to not ping on radars

i know learn anything and i know a fuck ton about weapons i currently reload my own roads and i own a 458 socom and i can shoot straight.


I know how remote exploit works and how to install storage devices with raid configuration and as well as networking.

SUCK ME DRY!

sup glownigger, i can talk my way into or out of anything.

Nice proxy Antarctica...

I can fit a whole wine bottle in my ass

im a funny guy

I liked the film "The Good Shepherd." Hire me.

and also im unable to fit in anywhere anymore, don't care if i dont come back to original family or town ever again. pls hire i want to be part of something for once.

I forgot to add that I spotted one of your tails a few years back you had following me from work. That old guy with gray hair was a nice touch.

>i currently reload my own roads
what did he mean by this?

Don't trust these guys OP they're just trying to become moles so they can undermine your operations.

i know that the world is not real and i can see matrix bugs.

We can offer weaponized autism and intimate knowledge of memetics and the occult.

4who

>So Sup Forums what makes you special?

we don't know, you tell us....

i also speak 4 languages

fuck off tom, get back with blink 182 and release the ayyyyys details

You'd do well to eliminate me now.

who needs the cia when you have Sup Forums

Forget about us, we have few useful words to say and even fewer useful thing to do. Let's talk about what you can do for us.

4 u

I'm young, smart, and attractive. Also a diamond in Rainbow 6 Seige, so you could say that I have situational awareness

you lie

I have an intimate knowledge of internet culture. Also I am loyal and would never whistleblow.

Nothing in this world is free. Why would they help?

I don't mind hurting people if I am allowed to do it and get paid to do it and am sanctioned by the government to do it.

Also I'd love to travel, even if it's to some shithole in Africa or the Middle East.

>Proficient shitposter
>High IQ
>Sociopathic liar, obsessive
>Don't have socially crippling autism
>Need a job
But I hear the swamp is being drained, why should I want to join a dying industry?

...

Tax Feeding Pigs...

Get a real job!

>can you program
yes
>how many languages do you speak
3
>you good with maps
boy scout
>do you remember things
yes
>any financial ability with investments
no>
>any kind of esp when it comes to snitches or drug deals
never associated with that crowd
>any kind of gut feeling for crime?
not crime, but good at judging people; relates to why I have no friends. Easily see through the facade of everyone.

Spoopy white flag

>expect contact soon
I've actually been to a CIA recruitment seminar. They won't contact you for employment. You have to apply to them, and the process can take up to a year. More importantly, the process is rather invasive and includes a polygraph test, which are known to be flawed, and have on a few occasions resulted in applicants leaving in tears after being accused of being a drug abuser despite never touching the stuff.

Ultimately, I decided it wasn't worth living under a very close watchful eye, and am now pursuing my PhD for academia or private research, rather than becoming a spook.

Can someone dox me I'm bored

>a dying industry
Is that what you think?

im good at spotting glowniggers

He meant loads, basically loading your own ammo. Typing and modesty is the only thing he's bad at apparently.

LARPer?

the enemy of my enemy is my friend


y͔̝̗̗͇͉͘o̥̳͇̫͙̱͙̐ͤ̐u͍̖̟̮̯̣̎͑ ̠̥̫̪̤̻ͬͣk̵͕̤̪͒̂ͬͮ̾̃ͅn̷̦̦̰̻o̸̟͉̳͊ͭͬͤͬ͗w̻̬̺̼̦̎̀ͅ


[email protected]

A whole lot of untapped, autistic, talent.

kek

I know kung fu, karate, and dozens of other dangerous words...

shhhh
I'm being subversive, don't tell em

You may bear a white flag but you're still a CIA nigger.

Please Mr. CIA ill be a fucking secret janitor just get me out of this hellhole.

>agents from thousands of different backgrounds.
(((Diversity is our strength)))

The only job I would take at the CIA is director, and then only to shut it down and move its relevant equipment to Homeland Security.

>being this new
>Not knowing who Antarctica user is

I know you're a LARPing mod and this is the millionth time we've had a thread like this
Does that count for something?

>inb4 swats of retarded low life anons with no capabalities in life past past shitposting on Sup Forums just line up and beg wanting to be CIA nigger

Hey, I actually see now why you're doing this (you) farm

Nice.
Keep at it

Also I basically have no friends and not am not really close to any of my family and have been looking to start over and leave my entire life behind because I don't really have much binding me to where I am or the people I know.

Non-larping empath that will work for drugs and a nice house in the bahamas

No clue, but I'd suspect asshurt and keks would be had if they did. That's really what brings me to Sup Forums anyways, and it's long past due that OP delivers.

CIA NIGGERS FUCK OFF

My open mind and beliefs in the occult

Reminder that if intelligence needed our help, they'd just trick us into doing it for free

If you are looking for a portland agent
I need a job

oh and

>((((((((((((((1 post by this ID))))))))))

I am the demiurge reincarnated. I predicted this thread earlier on in the day.

...

I have the power to say OP is a Fag even if they are a wanna be company larper

I can get along with most ddifferent groups of people, I’m a good speaker, I love my country and am politically pragmatic.

>tfw even the gov agents and scientists in Antarctica come to Sup Forums to shitpost and larp with the best of em
feels good man

I'm Spanish but look Caucasian, always unnoticed,fluent in bot languages & don't display much emotion fuckwithme

nice flag, but the larp threads are usually located 2 boards down

I hacked your shitty little redhat PRISM cloud. Good enough?
250k/y minimum and perks or dont bother contacting me.

True, it's why Sup Forums still exists in the first place.
They would've deleted it round' 15 or maybe just leave old-/new/ dead.

Also this is FBI territory, always has been.

lots of money saved for proxy server cooling I see.
Energy costs must be a bitch though.

i reconciled the meter with the cubit and the speed of light