Sup Forums what's your advice for jail

I'm going to court on an assault charge
I got SUPER drunk and picked a fight
What should I know incase I end up in jail?
Should I start by shaving the stache?

Other urls found in this thread:

amren.com/news/2017/06/male-rape-american-prison-system-racist-rape/
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3M-hPpuAqwQ
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j9777CEDUaI
m.youtube.com/watch?v=-7ktZyll7Lg
m.youtube.com/watch?v=1zgja26eNeY
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

It's not a big deal user, just stay out of trouble there. It's really easy to do that, just avoid taking drugs and so and don't get tricked into doing shit that will just increase your time there

You always meet people on your own level that doesn't want to cause shit in there. Also never talk to anyone if you see someone pulling some shit

Selfish bamp

Wear a dress to assert dominance

this your new tactic faggot? stop spamming

Jail is not that bad. Just don't be a bitch to anyone and be cool. It's super easy to not get raped if you're just not a fag and stay out of drama but also act chill with everyone.

lol sit in jail and learn how to not be a retard and handle your liquor. You look like a fucking tool. Glad you didn't drive.

I'll think on it

Fuck no

>Wear a dress to assert dominance
also use lipstick and makeup, this will be seen as a sign of simian aggression.

Don't worry user jail is not like oz. Most jails have a deputy keeping you under direct supervision. Kinda think of it as adult day care that you can't leave. Prison is a totally different story.

>Get a set of buttplugs in various sizes and start stretching out your anus until you can comfortably accommodate a beer bottle.

It's jail and not prison, right?
Be the best version of yourself I guess

Good point
Thinking about sleeping around other dudes like that... Well potentially

youre not going to jail for a drunken assault you faggot

well i guess unless you alsready have the criminal history of a career nigger in which case good riddance

All the jails I've been to were easy pz
cable tv, 3 free meals a day(some good/some suck), commissary, free education, free health care no bills.
It's basicly a bare bones vacation you can't leave, nothing really goes on. If you don't start shit or act like a bitch nobody will bother you.

The charge is assault 4th degree. But yeah I hope your right

OP is a fag from the 80's. You will be just fine.

Shit you will prolly get 16 weeks anger management, maybe probation to go with it. Will prolly offer early termination if you comply.

you look fine 7/10
you will make someone very happy in their

>Should I start by shaving the stache?

definitely.

>Should I start by shaving the stache?
No. Grow a full beard, get a really good tan, and learn to speak with an Arabic accent. I guarantee you will not go to jail if you just tell them you didn't understand evil, white imperialist laws.

Wtf are you talking about. Jail is where you are held at a station or court house, prison is where you are incarcerated. You don't serve time in jail, you serve time in prison.

Do you mean federal vs state prison? Doesn't matter because OP is a violent offender, so he goes to the state facility where they put violent offenders which is always the worst place to be.

>their
Hope you're next retard.

Are you white? If so, you're going to get raped. Blacks and Hispanics (the overwhelming majority of the prison population) rarely rape their own. They openly and consciously rape white men who lack the numbers and racial solidarity to defend themselves. They relish the opportunity and see it as just vengeance. The system knows this and doesn't care. On the rare occasions they acknowledge the targeting of white men, they find it funny. "Don't drop the soap"

Here's a good article on the subject.

amren.com/news/2017/06/male-rape-american-prison-system-racist-rape/

You don't live in a country where 80% of your prison population is brown

do not shave if anything make it thicker, also start doing pushups on your knuckles just in case

It would help if you described the circumstances of your assault exactly.

What did you do to the guy?

What did he do to you?

Who started the fight and over what?

Do you have attenuating circumstances aside from being drunk?

Depending on your answers I have a good idea where you will end up. And depending on where you end up the circumstances will be completely different. Father was a crim lawyer in the US.

Are you an asshole or is this your first charge?

short term sentences and misdemeanor shit can stay in a county jail. they dont send you to prison for a dui or a drunken fight. for instance, all the weedmen who violate their probation and get incarcerated every six months are sent into a jail, not a prison. even if they are petty criminals who spend multiple years of their life incarcerated, it will usually be in a jail

Yes I do. I live in Ontario.

start bleaching your asshole

Jail is easy, just don't be a dick to the guards or they will throw you in the bad section. Get used to reading, and being constantly hungry.

Just join a gang, get buff, and try to fuck the black guys in the ass to assert dominance.

You should learn your lesson for being a dick.
Go with god and be a good man.

/thread

1. Get ready to be bored, its boring, really boring
2. Get ready to get your cell tossed and all your crap will be taken if no receipt shown
3. Don't give away shit if anyone asks you. But feel free to toss your extra shit to some downtrodden guy sometimes

I did 60/90 days for 3rd degree assault. It was boring, and would have been a great vacation if there was no one else there. Wish I had solitary. No issues. Constipated for 5 days initially due to salt food.

I was " Tested " people were asking to try on my glasses, and I just said, " I need these, I'll fight if I have to, but you are not getting them " and no one bothered me.

was 6'2 and 230lbs of blubber due to stress eating a year prior hoping they would drop charges.

Rule #1: Grow a beard.
Rule #2: Don't accept gifts.
Rule #3: Mind your own business.
Rule #4: Don't join a gang.

I know this is off-topic but holy fuck OP, you look like Freddie Mercury.

just make yourself super nasty, so that everyone wants to gtfo away from you. never wash, let your shit get all crusty on your asshole, get massive dandruff, etc. nobody in their right mind will want to approach you.

...

This is America, not Europe.

Hey man. Sorry to hear it. I was just in court for assualt on female.
I went to aa and counseling and showed the papers to the judge and even though she was there, I was put on probation instead of jail.

Just relax and try and show the court you’re working on yourself.
Best of luck

Several:
>Which state?
>If its new mexico or new york
>watch this
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3M-hPpuAqwQ
>this
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j9777CEDUaI

>listen to these
m.youtube.com/watch?v=-7ktZyll7Lg
m.youtube.com/watch?v=1zgja26eNeY

>starts OP about himself
>5 posts by this ID
>Disappears after 20 posts

Typical stormfag nigger. Report and sage this spam. Not even interesting.

As a former convict, just remember it is all about respect. Don't go in acting all hard, but don't be timid either. Don't ask what gang some motherfucker is in, it's none of your buisness. Most will respect your wish to run solo(and I do recomend that) But if a riot pops off, you better fucking stand with the whites and Mexicans(they are considered next of skin when it comes to dealing with the dindus). Even then it isn't all fucking crazy, just read a book or watch sports or do push ups. Oh do push ups now. Get in some semblance of shape so you don't go in out of shape. You look reasonably fit from the picture, but it is always a safe bet to be in reasonable cardiovascular shape so you don't loose your wind should something pop off. No one is going to jump you as that starts political bullshit, so just relax, have some manners and don't be a fucking slob. Cleanliness is respected big time.

Op come here. You can't be extradited. Wait a few years and then return. I did some shit in the EU so i had to leave and im staying here, I found a job after a while and everyone treated me well

I see this same fucking post every week or so.

Are you getting some kind of weird sexual thrill from reading the answers?

Go away.

hes going to court to face a judge, not necessarily going to prison kek

Misdemeanor assault with no priors around here would get you 1 year probation, no jail time. Court costs and probation fees are going to be your punishment; I hope you like ramen. A lot.

thats obviously eric clanton, nice try i see through your tricks

start lubin' you asshole

Assault 4th is a Class A misdemeanor. You could just get fined and anger management or sent to AA meetings. An attorney could get it down to drunk and disorderly, fighting in public (hell that used to be an $80 fine here), or disturbing the peace.