Post Christmas Dinner Stories

>be me
>eating dinner
>mom made tasteless slop as usual
>whole extended family is there
>aunt looks at me and says "what's the matter honey, you have been silent all evening. Something on your mind?"
>I respond "Yes aunt Rose how can I not be mad when kike merchants work tirelessly to undermine the white way of life daily and we all play ignorant as we stuff our fat faces with high fructose corn syrup and various cancer forming carcinogens. Maybe you should stop killing yourself and pick up the Protocols of the Elder Zion and fucking learn about who really is in control"
>everyone is silent
>dad tells me to go to my room without food

Here I am this happened about an hour ago. I heard a lot of crying downstairs but otherwise things have quieted down. You guys have any similiar experiences?

If that is true then you are awesome. Best Christmas ever.

Merry shit mist
And a happy jew queer.

if true you're a fucking autist, you don't come out max power level

You should have just said "14 88, 14 88, 14 88..." and they would assume its your aspergers flaring up

Way to control your power level, dumbass.

same except everyone applauded

>attacking your family
>the white way of life
Way to give it to those jews

Supriseingly my family is pretty much red pilled desu. They are aware about who rule the world. They know that LGBT and feminazi propaganda is a medial and comercial bullshit for the mass full of conformism. Nazism and racism are the social tendencies because of polarization of working class and on the other side higher class.

They try to blend in becouse fighting the system doesn’t lead anywhere. Doesn’t matter if they will tell you that this is republic or monarchy, smart people always will find the way to manipulate the lower class. Nothing ever changed here. The point is to blend in the system and do as little harm as possible. I respect them for that.

My father is very ideological about humanity, but he understand also that this is his own weakness, and just can’t let go sometimes and have a need to help those who need the most, even if he will lose in the long term sometimes.

They don’t fall into this “tolerance for everything” meme or “kill the niggers, Poland for polish” rhetoric.

absolute mong

This happened to me this year op
>All extended family come to house for dinner
>My aunt asked what wrong with me
>I say "Jews have been poisoning the well since they faked the Holocaust. Jews control ever aspect of our society but make up 2% of population. They control our politicians and did 9/11 and the USS Liberty attacks but you're sitting here eating high fucktose corn piss and cunting down carcigeneous cancers
>Read a fucking book you fucking sheep multiculturalism and diversity is being pushed because they aren't white
>Whole house goes quiet
>Mom tell me to go to my room without food
>Say fuck it and buck up to her, stand up and puff out chest
>dad bows up and makes a fist
>Mom and dad know I'm putting on a show for the guests
>dad stands up
>he swings on me and I dodge
>punch his neck and goes down, crashes into the food and it makes a mess
>I do a quick strut like a gladiator and lick the gravy off my fist
>I quickly reach down and grab him by the face and say "are you not entertained?" Like in the movie
>I make him succ me

or at least I tried to. Uncle Terry stepped in while I was undoing my pants

This happened 15 minutes ago. What the fuck do I do?

Dude run the fuck away from the house, did you saw the grandma? Didn’t she called the police yet? Escape through window, there is not much time, if you will take the doors, you will be shoot on sight. Don’t forget you are in the USA.

Begging for mercy will only make the cops harder.

>Talking about Rudolph the Reindeer
>Mom says "You know that was written by Jews"
>Haha yeah I was just thinking about that
>Me "It's about a pathetic weakling with a magic nose that all the other reindeer make fun of who has a hidden talent he uses to become leader."
>we all laugh

timestamp or larp.

Theres serious shit going on. Go back downstairs and say they pretend to be jewish and they really are satanic

I had a very comfy christmas with my grandparents, my brother, uncle and his gf, and my mother and father.
We ate delicious food, talked about why the hell Merkels party still got 30% votes and about diversity blocks at christmas markets, then we watched an old russian comedy movie and then everybod went with a nice feeling home.

>sperging out at your own family
>at christmas
>ruining it for everybody
Just why.

Like usual protecting the kids from the older gay cousin. Nobody is molesting them on my watch.

>and then we started to laugh at those stupid Eastern Europeans who does not believe in power of diversity love and Muslims changing rusty European morality.

No. My family hates Muds and all voted AfD. Its just amazing that with all the shit Merkel caused so far a lot of Germans STILL FUCKING VOTE FOR HER PARTY.

flag checks out.

>sister messaging her friend
>'how do I spell hanukkah?'
>'K I K E'
>'What?!'
>Someone says something else so quickly switch topic

>Sat in my room whilst various extended family members arrive
>Auntie Rose knows on my door and walks in
>My dick like diamonds with this milf
>Shuts door, gets her tits out and starts sucking my dick
>Auntie Glenys walks in, gasps, locks the door, rips Roses kinckers off, Rose sits on Glenys face,
>Getting quite loud as I am fucking them both from behind and slapping and shouting "take that you filthy bitch"
>Spunk up Roses hole which Glenys eats out.

Open my eyes from my wank, go down stairs for dinner, Auntie Rose and Auntie Glenys sat in the living room, jump up to give me a kiss hello, awkward feeling and cock getting hard.

I got the flu on Saturday and had to stay home today. Shitposted on Reddit and Sup Forums all day.

Not the worst Christmas ever, desu.

Be me
>my grandfather makes stuffing like a god.
>every year there is a war over it between my aunt and my brother.
>hands have been stabbed and forks have been crossed over the table.
>ended up opting out of the stuffing for 3 years so I didn't loose an eye.
>This year it's different.
>my mother is a health freak.
>my brother has his nagging girlfriend in his ear.
>my aunt... I donno what happened to her appitite.
>upon this vast plane of food called the table courage to gain the brown stuffing gold was at a all time low.
>I have been training at not giving a fuck.
>this was my time to strike.
>I got the biggest spoon in the drawer and filled half my plate.
>finished it up in 30 seconds and only orgasmed twice.
>Went for seconds.
>no one noticed.
>filled up half my plate again.
>this time I enjoyed it.
>20 orgasms from stuffing later, it comes out.
>the beast.
>it was beautiful!
>half stuffing half sausage.
>I creamed myself on eye contact with it.
>the evil bitch said I can only have a thin slice.
>so I didn't hear her and went for a actual piece.
>every bite was like trumps election party all over again.
Feels good man.

What do you have to lose? Kissing is the first step. When you get her alone, just confess your feelings and fuck her.

Basically spent Christmas staring at all my cutie female cousins, walking around in their fleece pants and socks. Even one who's slightly underage. And at dinner I would stare at their mouths and imagine them giving me a blowjob. I was so hard. I got home and immediately fapped and oh lord my load almost hit the ceiling.

>visiting mother
>hope we get to see the rest of family
>lol no we're staying here instead
>eating dinner
>cold turkey
>quiet
>nothing happens
>end up going through town on my lonesome and admiring how dead silent everything is
this family does nothing but play video games, eat, and sleep. Can't wait to go home.

You had stale pasta for Christmas dinner?

>that discussion Dad has with you about asking your mums sister for a fuck
>when you realize life is not a porno

...

Your dad talked to you about this???

Jfc I thought that was just a steriotype wtf!

Why would somebody lie like that? On the internet?

> Mother spends all day making a pretty nice christmas dinner for the family.
> Sister and her husband brings around the 3 kids she can't control who proceed to cry, scream and just continually distrupt the whole event.
> Give up, and just eat cheesecake in my room.

Happy Christmas.

>end up going through town on my lonesome and admiring how dead silent everything is
This is pretty amazing.
Was working Christmas eve and night...boxing day morn was a little busy, but riding back from work at 7am on Christmas day was pretty amazing.

/thread

Nanna had a heart attack on Christmas Eve. The entire family had family christmas dinner in the ICU waiting room. Fucking fast food... We all said goodbye this morning. Even if she wakes from the coma, i am pretty sure too much damamge has been done. She goes into seizure whenever they try to resuscitate her.

Had a catholic preist come in a give her last rights. The big looked just like Big Guy Tyrone and no attention to family was given. Just showed up and gone after a few minutes. Most impersonal pastor I have ever met. Seriously fuck the churches if this is what preists (especially catholic) have become.

This year was a shit Christmas.

I can't help that all my cousins are girls and pretty. I also make sure to give every one a hug and sometimes they rub their face against mine or give me a cheek kiss and it gets me off so much. I fantasize about having dirty cousin sex with them all the time.

Feels bad man.

The wife and I had slow roasted prime rib with the wife. Mashed potato, green bean casserole and home made horseradish sauce & popovers were also on the menu. Home made peach pie for desert was also great.

We spent the holiday alone because we don't have family around, but we kind of like the peace and quiet to be totally honest.

What?

father-in-law in a biker gang mother-in-law same way. Only had to tell 9 or 10 times not to say nigger around my 5yo. He tends to repet shit in his kindergarten class. Wife says i get to go to school and deal with it next time. Probably wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

Jfc that's how you make an inbred freak.

>be immigrants, but US citizens
>live in the south
>parents and I are huge trump supporters
>[spoiler]gf[/spoiler] hates him
>rest of family + spouses visiting from up North hate drumpf
>dad and I don't give a shit. Dad start saying that we need to send these illegal immigrants back and build a wall "I paid my taxes and became a citizen etc..."
>mom and dad secretly both agree on my view of Jews, Muslims, etc.
>gf thinks I'm a racist despite me getting along with and working with Jews, blacks, and Muslims on a daily basis

I hate this "holier than thou" white guilt that people have

Do you fap to them on instagram

i believe you are a shill larping as a Ghost of Christmas Future to keep polacks from exposing their power level

>dinner had been over for a while, but mom and brother in law had been drinking.
>hanging out with nephews watching nacho Libre like real men.
>begin to hear rumblings of abortion rights.
>Lame.png
>soon younger brother and older sister join in and shift the convo to Trump.
>kids are frustrated, just want to watch Jack black be autistic, who can blame them, so i usher them upstairs away from normies.
>sister has begun demanding to know why trump is visiting his own resort on taxpayer dime, mom is arguing that nikki haley should run in 2020, brother in law advocates for Shapiro/Gowdy ticket.
>AmateurHour.GIF
> argument begins to devolve from there, I mention Wilson is the worst president ever, "user it is obvious Obama is the worst you just don't know enough yet."
>power level rises rapidly, barely control it before i call for race war now.
>decided to leave shortly thereafter for the sake of the family.
But i had tasty lasagna and cake and showed my newphews some basic exercises so it wasn't all for bad

I spent a solid half hour having to explain that pic related wasn't actually the federal budget, but was a completely false meme, even pulling up a politifact article about it. They still didn't believe me. They are so attached to their narrative that the biggest expense in the US is the military that, even after I fully broke things down into discretionary spending and mandatory spending and defined everything clearly and showed them several graphs, they still just shook their head and were like, "that's not right, we spend way more on the military than on medicare."

I couldn't fucking believe it. These people are in my fucking family for fuck's sake. Luckily my brother and father are both conservative so I can at least talk to them about shit.

>gorge on glorious potluck
>chatting up one of the gay uncles
>start reminiscing about childhood pranks
>bring up ding dong ditch and what it used to be called
>gay uncle says they called it something else but cant remember
>mention that we called it nigger knocking
>wife backs me up
>gay uncle doesn't bat an eye
>we all laugh and continue reminiscing
>kek

My christmas present this year was finding out my boyfriend is being deployed. Family is hundreds of miles away. Engaged loner mode.

Tried to redpill my family on Race realism, the holohoax, and the Jews. I am a Chad and so I revealed my full power level without giving a fuck.

WOW... you're the first alt-right snowflake I've come across. If either of my boys ever acted like that in our house, they'd be going upstairs and their little gamefag computers, phones, and tablets would be sitting in the trash can out on the curb. Until you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you, that you owe everything you have, know, and are, to your family and elders, you're nothing more than a useless little fuck, and it doesn't matter what your political views are. So quit acting like a know it all shit stain and go downstairs and apologize. Or you can do your parents a favor, pack a bag, and move out.

>xmas at aunts house
>30 people
>loud and laughing
>Lolis and shotas tearing open gifts
>dice game for gifts about to start
>30yo cousin walks in with her Nigger BF
>dead silence
>nigger says hello and merry Christmas everyone my name is charles
>hops in the rotation for the dice game and sets presents he bought down in the pile
>Mudshark cousin constantly bitching at him
>still dead air
>game starts fun comes back
>Nigger trading his doubles for a wrench set
>says he needs it for his truck
>mudshark mad he didn't grab the wine
>hour later nigger goes around saying goodbye and thanks
>he has to work at 5 am
>mudshark says he works too much

Wtf

I'm not going to actually fuck them lol. They're all normal church going girls. Which makes it hotter to think about tbqh. Also lord help me if any of them are walking around barefoot, I can't help myself staring at their pretty feet and I'd probably have to go to the bathroom right then and there and jerk one out.

My mom got my aunt a 23&me. Forgot who i was around and said if i found out we have jewish lineage i'm putting myself in the chamber. There was awkward silence

I don't have Instagram but yeah I probably would.

Grandpa and I discuss bitcoin and financial theory while waiting for dessert to be served
Come time for presents my sister gives me an aftershave and some anti-aging cream to mock me for "looking old" (I'm in my 20s, people have always thought I was older than I am)
Mom and grandma discusses cookies, grandma says her back began to ache when she was baking so instead of making the jewcookies (Jodekager, traditional Danish christmas cookie) the traditional round shape, she just cut them up into squares so she could get them in the oven faster and be done with it (I was the only one who found that funny)

Good Luck stay safe and thank you both

I'm here for you.

Suuuuuure

Keep the Black guy ditch the mudshark.

>various cancer forming carcinogens
nicely done

>learn about who really is in control
why tho?

fucking degenerate. does everybody thinking you're disgusting get you off too? probably.

>1 post by this ID

I've seen this pasta before.

>spent christmas with my dads side
>topic of my aunt on my moms side who recently visited from newfoundland
>she has been raising her own granddaughter
>my cousin got knocked up by a muslim guy and kept the baby
>I had a few drinks in my system so I say to my grandma that if I were her father I'd disown her unless she had an abortion
>mfw she agreed with me

And one of them is apparently underage XD. ABSOLUTLY DUISGUSTING!

i remember this pasta from last year.

I love our traditional festive holiday meal of a slice of white sandwich bread (crusts removed and sliced diagonally in half) and water

Appreciating your support, Anonfam. I'll probably be lurking here far too often to pass the time while Im not in /sig/ mode, trying to distract myself and keep my eyes on God's plan.

black guy sounds pretty cool desu

Who knew the generation gap could be closed so easily.

No, but the thought of fucking my qt cousins does. Lol

You must be 18 to post on this board

Canadian whiskey, good food and watched the movie 13 hours.

Actually I'm pretty sure she's 18 now. But I had the same fantasies when she was 16-17 sooo lol

dont feel too bad user. i thought it was funny.

You are still being judged heavily for this. And your not helping your case.

Should have killed him on the spot.

>being judged by a leaf

oh user

aha so you do get off on how disgusting you are. don't have kids. you'd probably rape them

At least I don't fanticise about porking my underage cousin.

Me and my aunt who dated Gregg Allman shat all over Justin Tredeau for a hot minute.

And by the looks of things it's not just me judging you.

If your granny dies and leaves you money it will be a great Xmas! Look on the bright side and kick her life support machine right in the pussy

At least you don't fanticise about porking your underage cousin yet*

This didn't happen but you got a lot of (you)s so good job.

Charles sounds ok. Your hag of a cuz, not so much.

My only female relatives around my age or younger are lowed and/or degenerate sjw's

REAL NO RP

>Be me
>First gf in years
>Invites me to her family's xmas dinner
>Go, dress nice
>I've showed her /pol already, and she really doesn't care
>Meet her bro, dad, and mum
>Instantly, they ask if I'm jewish
>I giggle and say no
>They laugh, and reply, good.
>I slowly talk about minorities, and politics


THEY. ARE. RED. PILLED.

I'm going to marry this girl bros!
>Get to her house

even more reason to pork them

No, less, they arnt even my type!

Here everybody knows Protocols of the Elder Zion tried to subvert us, including Christmas with dead kike on cross, so we celebrate the festival every year without mentioning Jesus, live our ancestors did.

>Trying to bait white people into the jewish rent bs with a diversety quota bait.

Fucking pottery m8

I didn't even leave my room most of the day.
No family over, didn't even make christmas calls to mom and dad.

Can you get next day shipping on one of those helium exit bags?

>giving up

I would have told every little detail that i findwrong with their parenting and shame the until they shut their spawn up or leave.
Family should be honest to eachother.
Also, give her advice on parenring and let your prents also advise her to act.

you know you're trolling

>overhear cousin falling for the net neutrality repeal meme
>he actually believes he's going to get throttled and charged more for hulu and shit

stop trolling You know you're trolling.

Go for it anyway. Think of the sexual tension. Ending up alone with one of them at the house, her complaining her feet hurt from work, you offering a foot job, she bashfully accepts, and you slowly move your hands up her legs and rub her snatch then start to make love while whispering to her "we can't let anyone know about this" hnnnng