Christianity redpill

LMAO, your bitch faggot jesus was supposed to return 2000 years ago, and he didn't. Your toilet paper bible backs this up:

"For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."
- Matthew 16:27-28 (NIV)

"Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened."
- Mark 13:29-30 (NIV)

"I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened."
- Luke 21:32 (NIV)


It's indisputable. Either he came back 2000 years ago and nobody noticed, or, more likely, none of this shit happened to begin with. Either way you are a huge dumb fuck for buying into christianity.

Jesus dresses up in a tutu and paints his face like a french whore, and then waits outside of strip bars for the drunkest and horniest men to come outside and he begs them to cum in his bitch mouth. He takes them behind a dumpster and compels them to thrust eagerly as he sucks feverishly, men's cocks pistoning into his bitch mouth for hours and he swallows load after sour load. When their are no dicks to suck, he sneaks into people's yards at night and jerks off their dogs. That's what jesus does. jesus does that.

Now lets see how many of you thin skinned queers get offended.

Other urls found in this thread:

k5learning.com/reading-comprehension-worksheets/first-grade-1
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

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>who are tacitus, pilny the younger, thallus, Lucian
>What is the doctrine of the second coming

> I ignore muh buy bull when it don't agrees with me

> muh non-primary non-contemporaneous sources

Someones got no btc...

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>Implying I'm a Protestant

YES, GOOOOOD I CAN FEEL YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU WANT TO GO WATCH THIS VIDEO. DO IT, REACH OUT WITH YOUR SINFUL FINGERS AND SEARCH PORNHUB. SIN SIN SIN!!!!!

That's not how you spell gullible

But Jesus was here 2000 years ago? It’s literally what our calendar is based on b.c. Is before Christ and a.d means anno domini (advancing age) it’s currently 2017 so 2000 years ago Jesus was on the earth... what’s the point of this thread?

The jesus character is talking about the end times you slack jawed yokel. Go back to fingering your asshole and pretending it isn't totally gay.

Yes , I also , was thinking OP is retarded .

What in the actual fuck are you talking about you advanced retard?

Watching it now

k5learning.com/reading-comprehension-worksheets/first-grade-1

Pic related, it's you.

Do you mean Jesus should be back by now as he died 2000 years ago? If so you are forgetting he died at 32 probably 15 or so more years until it’s spot on

Also even if you did prove that the bible was wrong it still only means that the people who wrote it were wrong it doesn’t mean there isn’t a god

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You should probably attempt the 5th grade reading and comprehension work sheet before posting again m80

did it take all 84 of your IQ points to post that. You're probably laying down right now nursing a migraine, waiting for it to go away so you can jack off to more gay interracial porn.

You either can't read, or you're deploying disingenuous responses to combat your cognitive dissonance.

AMAZING, EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID IS WRONG.

-Luke Skywalker

>tries to prove gods not real
> proves op is a faggot instead

Im just trying to understand what’s got your knickers in such a knot maybe you could explain what you ment in English?
At the moment I have you down as an edgy 13 year old faggot or a person whom is missing chromosomes

You probably have a hard time reading with your uncles nuts in your face like that.

Let me boil it down for you, toddler.
There will be no second coming, other than when your dad busts a nut in your mouth twice in one day.

Congratulations youre retarded.

still not one reasoned response, just attacks. Your jesus fails. Your failure is his.

Matthew 16:27
He was talking about going into his kingdom of heaven.

If you are curious about Christianity then I will be happy to teach you more.

If you don't then I will sage

> and then he will reward each person according to what he has done

You utter and complete dipshit

What haystack have you pulled that straw from?
Well I can't wait till he "rewards" you for pulling a random verse that isn't related

Sage and farewell you cucked bastard.

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It's the verse you mentioned, kiddie diddler.

Yes, the verse that specifically states that Jesus will reward everyone that goes into HEAVEN with him based on their good deeds.
NOT ON EARTH

Any more questions?

Jesus was suppose to return when he was 17?

Catholics tend to be Democrats.

Remove Hispanics from that tally, though, and you have a pretty Republican group.

>Not one reasoned response
Yeah you got two at least

1. But Jesus was here 2000 years ago? It’s literally what our calendar is based on b.c. Is before Christ and a.d means anno domini (advancing age) it’s currently 2017 so 2000 years ago Jesus was on the earth... what’s the point of this thread? I’m surprised the mods haven’t deleted this shit.
2. Do you mean Jesus should be back by now as he died 2000 years ago? If so you are forgetting he died at 32 probably 15 or so more years