GERMANY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR POOP SHELVES?

Why do this Germany? It's like you're descended from pajeets but didn't feel comfortable going cold turkey and pooping directly into water. Why?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Togv_8fCZ3A
economist.com/blogs/johnson/2011/08/germany
youtube.com/watch?v=rzXPyCY7jbs
planetgermany.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/terrifying-german-toilets/
youtu.be/cdeu5PhNL7U
theendofzion.com/2014/09/03/hitlers-nightmare-come-true-the-kinderladen-movement/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>Germans
>having sanity after 1945
Pick one, unfortunately

>he wants to have water mixed with piss splash all over his ass

Is this for some sort of fortune telling technique?

How the hell do you poop into the water unless you're sitting right on the edge with your dick outside of the toilet bowl?

>inspect your feces to make sure you're healthy
>enjoy the sight
>enjoy the smell
>no water splashes
>no PLOOOOP sounds when it falls into the water from which feels like a hundred meters
>easy to take a picture of your big poops if the necessity arises

Ye just use a bidet and spray that water right in there, skip the nonsense

You actually enjoy getting your ass sprayed with shit and piss water when you take a dump?
Fucking amerifats.

>>German
>>enjoys the smell of poop

Checks out

zee tscherman regimen
> wake up
> make coffee
> machen die shiesse
> examine stool with a spoon
> exercise joylessly in loungeroom
> make love to wife joylessly
> shower, dress
> leave home at 7:05 and drive down the autobahn at exactly 115km/h without changing speed lane or gear listening to shitty techno
> work joylessly

youtube.com/watch?v=Togv_8fCZ3A

my new toilett doesnt have that and i must say that i miss it
allways having to put tp on the water surface to avoi splashbacl is annoying

This is actually the way to go.
We have those here too.

Biggest bonus is that you get to inspect your turd, so you can go to the doc when you see blood

What do you say about our special plate?
We have to eat shit for almost 80 years now.

WTF? Krauts are retarded! From the Schwerer Gustav to this?! Kek!

autobahn is 130 kmh or no limit whatsoever

economist.com/blogs/johnson/2011/08/germany

Summary: "In short, Mr Lewis thinks that Germany is obsessed by shit."

Eat fiber desu, then it just smoothly deploys and coils without a splash

youtube.com/watch?v=rzXPyCY7jbs

>not just putting toilet paper in the bowl then shitting so theres no splash on your arse
silly nigga

Thats normal here too.

Also , if you have to provide poo for medical reasons, would you fish your turd ?

1:38

the technical term is “inspection plate”

I live for PLOOOOPs, Kraut. You have never lived if you couldn't enjoy your mighty poop going nuclear in the toilet water

I can't explain it. perhaps speed is too much like happiness.

the new one they put in is kinda like that. new poop technology. it seems to mostly work ok. but why?

A true German keeps a liter of liquid detergent by the toilet and meticulously cleans his bowl with a toilet brush and this detergent after he flushes every time.

Cleaning for us is like a spiritual activity. We love it for some reason.

I always forget Americans don't know much about Europe

Germans are disgusting subhumans
This isn't news to any European here.

They love seeing shit streaks, everywhere they go.

tradionnal WC in germany, they like to watch own poo poop after the landing...

also , this is the country with more scatophilia , i think it explain everything

>so you can go to the doc when you see blood
what the fuck are you talking about
do eurocucks bleed out of their asshole often

It's for the weekly poop inspection day.

no
but we would be able to tell, whereas you would never know

>>he wants to have water mixed with piss splash all over his ass
Funny, one of my toilets is poo on a shelf, one poo in to the water.
I chose to poo on a shelf subsequently

waste of paper

must be all that BBC, you never know when the black mamba's gonna bite twice

But it would get stuck.

This is the best Weltanschauung my friend.

Why does he wipe his nose so much?

...

Swedes probably do

no it doesn't you simply shove it in the hole with a toilet brush if the flush doesn't push it

we used to have one of these and one time after being sick for 3 days I took a shit so big it piled up and touched my ass
glad no one has these anymore

>POOP SHELVES

That's so you can check your shit for worms.

only old houses have them

planetgermany.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/terrifying-german-toilets/

>The user, on rising from the throne, will inspect (I’m not sure whether with satisfaction, disgust or curiosity) the resting turds and make a note of the consistency, shape, colour and any abnormalities. Once the inspection is over, the toilet will be flushed… and the bowl cleaned as necessary using the brush provided.

what is wrong with yuropoors

true, toilet paper is very rare.

Wow you are disgusting.
>how do i pooped on slope?

I like having worms. I love the funny tickling around my boipucci.

Yuck, the whole idea of the toilet is to allow mankind to strive for the ultimate shit, the ghost turd, where you know it's long, cylindrical and well formed but whe you go to examine it, it's already made it's own way around the bend. How is that possible with the Panzershitter.

girls love it when you show them your big german poo

it was just a bowl you drop in. now it's a trough with a slip in slide for a fun ride for the turd to the shit tunnels.

...

when I was in London I had to carefully shit on the empty part just to keep my ass dry your system sucks ass

Nothing wrong with stool examination to monitor and ensure health of the Übermensch. These toilets are designed for stool inspection and obviously less cultured peoples hardly understand such a concept

put some paper in the water before you shit and the water physics changes like somethin to do with tension idk dog i thought yall were the ones good at them maths and shit

>he doesn't place toilet paper first to dampen the fall

Die under a truck.

this must be what your courtship looks like

Germans are weird. They poop on a flat surface while listening to this each morning

youtu.be/cdeu5PhNL7U

Rof

You need to harden up if a bit of splashback worries you.

someone got the statistics on scat porn saved?
we are a superpoower when it commes to that

>water physics changes
amerimutt education

pooplet detected

Uhh my dick is only an inch big when it isn't hard??

I poop in an awful toilet like this sometimes, except with the hole on the correct side, but with a shelf. When you flush it won't take it down either, some paper usually just hangs out on the shelf.

>>
my nigga

is this the reason so much german porn has scat?
because you all smell shit all the time?

or just use a human designed toilet bowl

The German is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a nazi, refugee, kike, troll, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call out the poop shelf and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

Obviously a German corn filter.
Oh Yah , never order the twice baked corn chowder in Germanistan

"Huh, turd looks a little black. I should tell the doctor so he can order an occult blood stool test."
Do you think the turds just disappear into the murky depths and are never seen again?

Genuine question: Why are you krauts so fascinated with scat? Germany is the number one producer of scat porn in the world (japan is no.2 and brazil third)
What causes this? Is it something in the national psyche?
Is this the result of the social engineering of the 'kinderladen' movement in the 60s or dies it go back further?

(more on kinderladen movement here. Be warned it is potent rage fuel)
theendofzion.com/2014/09/03/hitlers-nightmare-come-true-the-kinderladen-movement/

probably just because they're full of shit

>having to clean a massive shit stain
W E W

me too.

which explains why you were making soap during your last ethnic cleansing.

Then leave the turd encrusted scrubber on floor next sink,toilet,toothbrush. Yup German engineering at its peak.

you feel me though? like a couple squares on the surface stops the splash and yall actin like its some spacex type shit

Checking your crap is a natural and biologically enjoyable thing to do, as weird as it sounds.

You're damn right we should make sure our crap is healthy and normal, both in color and texture. The smell should also be that of a robust shit.

Healthy shits, sharp wits.

>*blocks your path*

do you then clean the brush every time?

>he wants the water from the flush splash the shit all over the seat

>not having bleach bath for your shitbrush
You're filthy, user.

S-sure.

if you shat properly you wouldn't need to use it as much

but do you clean the sink/bucket that you cleaned the shit brush with every time?

Nordics aren't aware of bidet technology.

>Using one as I write this
feelsgoodman

Now that I think about it I bet it feels pretty good raking a healthy load off of the shelf with one of these.

NO I DON'T. You made me confess. Are you happy now?

dates back to a period when so many djermans were infected with worms they had to modify their loos
it allowed them to dissect their dungs with a stick to see if there were traces of worm infestation
which somehow instilled a fetish for playing with shit that nowadays still is most iconic of djerman porn

>not letting the water slowly stream around the shit and if necessary give it a gentle push with the brush

Every intelligent species starts eating shit when caged for decades.

agreed

yes

>waste of paper
Not really, since you would need paper to wipe the water of your ass if you didn't do it. One small piece is enough to remove splashing.

Disgusting. the smell would also linger.

Why germans are such coprophilous ?

i want to lick it

checked
but you don't have brushes, in your merry toilets?