>be 7 million years ago
>be ape
>be unusually curious ape
>be more curious than every ape in existence at that point
>be roaming the grasslands more than your other kinfolk
>one day your curioristy leads you to a particularly dried but still smelly cattle-like shit patty
>observe it
>poke it
>flip the patty over
>find a mushroom
>*looks edible*, your curiosity the first of its kind leads you to eat this strange fungus
>eat psychedelic mushroom for the first time in the history of apes
>a powerful psychedelic trip occurs
>gain self-awareness
>gain depth perception
>see shit you have never seen before
>the high dies down
>you run back hollering and hooting to your tribe
>you get them to come along on your journey
>take them to a patty filled part of the grasslands
>convince alpha ape to eat mushroom
>alpha ape does
>alpha ape chimps out in ecstatic pleasure having the same trip as you do
>other apes "monkey see monkey do"
>whole tribe experiences this never before done high
>whole tribe gain a cultural tradition of eating psychedelic mushrooms
>through evolution your spawn and the tribes spawn become more self-aware, with gained depth perception
>your descendants are smarter than the average chimp as they look for mind altering mushrooms and plants
>be some years laters(perhaps several hundred thousand)
>2001 A Space Oddyysey scene
>even more curious chimp plays with the thigh bone of a tapir
>starts bashing other bones
>thinks more intensively because of self-awareness and depth perception gained for the first hominid
>bashes the cadaver skull of a tapir
>thinks more
>MANS FIRST WEAPON
>uses club to kill tapirs
>eats tapirs where previously your tribe only ate plants, berries and mushrooms with some rodent meat
>more protein = more energy
>more energy = more brainpower
>get into watering hole conflict with rival tribe
>alpha of rival tribe attacks first ape wielding first club
>he strikes him down with a bash to the skull
>WAR IS INVENTED
The First Hominid
Other urls found in this thread:
youtu.be
youtu.be
twitter.com
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>7 million years ago
This is what gaythiests actually believe.
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>earth is 6000 years old
More believable than a book.
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fpbp holy shit.
>internet post is more believable than book that has withstood the test of time
Brainlets, when will they learn?
>7 million years
>thinks evolution was done by a single curious ape
>all that nonsence
flag check out
Wow four cents in a few minutes nice profit user!
>nothing exploded into everything
>rocks valmorphanize into humans
youtu.be
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>i don't understand therefore god exists
are you catching up on your rogan podcasts?
You were on point until
>uses club to kill tapirs
Here's what probably happened for real:
>thinks more intensively because of self-awareness and depth perception gained for the first hominid
>bashes the skull of the alpha
>power is now fleeting, tool-assisted murder means it is easily gained and more easily lost
>suddenly social structure means nothing
>the entire tribe is imperiled by anarchy
>without a reason to not act upon ones basest impulses while empowered by the ease of killing via tools, a form of guidance that can not be killed must be created
And so God was born.
>I evolved from a rock
>proof is in muh post
You're starting to convince me, Harambe.
Noone ever said that.
You really ought to be a brain damaged amerimutt to believe that crap.
Read a book that isn't the babble for once.
(((Evolution))) specifically says we came from rocks.
Now go suck up to your kike university professor for brownie points, Taiqwanda.
>And so God was born.
WTF?
>Evolution specifically says we came from rocks
american education
>nothingness
>a wild dot smaller than an atom appears
>explodes into everything
>rocks evolve into all organic life forms over billions of years
>it's true because my homosexual Ashkenazi feminist wiccan gender studies professor says so
You bet!
youtu.be
The 1st five minutes is you, soygoy.
>Everything came from nothing
or
>A being that came from nothing made everything from nothing and he doesn't want you to jerk off
>a wild dot smaller than an atom appears
>explodes into everything
still more realistic than religion
>rocks evolve into all organic life forms over billions of years
yhwh used clay as well in your book
>A being that came from nothing
God didn't become, God has always existed. Time space and matter couldn't exist without each other and had to come into existence at the exact same moment.
This is not only more believable but it's the absolute truth. You're the type who can look at a machine a billion times more complex than a PC and say it came from random events. You say evolution is survival of the fittest where the strong survive, yet life (((evolved))) beyond bacteria. For thousands of years farmers have been planting corn and have never seen an apple sprout from a corn stalk or anything other than fucking corn.
>depth perception
Nigger what
>For thousands of years farmers have been planting corn and have never seen an apple sprout from a corn stalk or anything other than fucking corn.
no shit
Social structures would have definetly changed but God would have already been invented by the early hominids in the form of sun appreciation since the Sun meant light from the darkness and the darkness was the ultimate enemy of self-aware early hominids with depth perception.
You really don't understand evolution and the fact that you confound it with the cosmos proves it. Just go to Wikipedia and read ffs.
>You say evolution is survival of the fittest where the strong survive
no lol that's darwinism, evolution actually proves the stronger will indeed die/slowly go extinct, dinosaurs are a magnificent proof of this
Psilocybin is the manna that YHWH gifted the Israelites on the journey across the dessert. It is God's perfect food and gifts knowledge into the complexities of his ways and how he interacts with each of us on Earth, this is why Khazaric Freemasons in the government have outlawed this gift to man.
I have tried shrooms once and can confirm. I became aware of the other side. The creator is real. Its all real. The government is lying.
Also during this trip I beat on my chest, and incredibly, my body took over involuntarily and beat it for me. Not like a human would, but an ape. Something primal. Thats when I knew my monkey ancestors were locked away in my brainstem.
>confederate flag
That must be you irl.
>believing in a book that's been "revised" and translated numourous times over thousands of years full of fairy tales and bullshit
OP's the brainlet huh?
Terrence is that you? Your death has made you far less coherent and it seems toneroded the finer points of your stones ape hypothesis
Just shut up and put the fucking money in the hat or you're going to hell.
No this is probably American SOUTHERN education. We're not all idiots, just the inbred faggots in the south.
A fucking leaf
>humans came from monkeys
>monkeys are still monkeys
Lmao
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From another perspective: this is an ape trying to explain to other apes how all of us apes became self-aware.
Stupid explanation tho.
Mmmm... Tapir.
Please tell me you're trolling
begun, the great mushroom ape war has.
fpbp
>doesn't even say why he's wrong.
kys jew
I believe this
>gain depth perception
Cool science fiction leaf.
>being an adult who believes in God
Look at me... I'm the retard now.
Those who are not intelligent enough to find God rely on the myths of science.
What caused the big bang
this. totally this. it's actually funny seeing people run around thinking they can see the unseen and unseeable through empiricism. rely on the spirit God sent for you, folks.
t. geologist with master's degree from top 10 uni
for thousands of years farmers have planted wild mustard seeds and now we have kale, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, kale, and collard greens.. It doesn't happen on accident it happens because of an external force.
and kale
Fpbp as always
>be 7 million years ago
>dont exist because the earth is like 7,000 at most
Evolution proves no such thing eurocuck.
Jesus fucking Christ the irony in this sentence.
Fuck off shareblue kike
>actually still believe we evolved from apes
the state of atheists
Try Changa, I'm not sure what they call it in the states but the psychoactive chemical is DMT, if you smoke enough you will break through to the other side, you will not come back as the same person
>shareblue
>the disinfo agency formed by a Christ hating literal cocksucker to get Hillary Clinton elected
>shilling for Jesus Christ
The dum dum is strong with this one.
fpbp
>and so God was born
Beautiful.
God: that which is perfect.
Humanity always aims towards God whenever they attempt to do anything.
Fucking brainlets
>>humans came from monkeys
>>monkeys are still monkeys
>when monkey-humans existed our current monkeys were fucking retarded rats
>actually believing in some jewish myth from the desert about how a invisable man in the sky created us and made miracles but stoped 2k years ago
>3 hours and 16 minutes ago
>be leaf
>be unusually retarded leaf
>be more retarded than every leaf in existence at that point
>be shitposting on Sup Forums making terrible threads all day
Shitposting really does help with numbing the pain of living under the progressive regime tho
>actually believe we evolved from apes
The state or religitards
>checks flag
>be me
>be prehistoric ground hog
>eating le grass down by local watering hole when suddenly
>"OONGA UNGAAA"
>wtf was that ???
>see walking ape stumble down to watering hole and piss into it
>fucking Hominid cunts, i think to myself
>i think fuck it no im going to tell this cunt to stop pissing in my water
>scurry over to her and start barking my unintelligible mammal sounds
>oonga turns around at looks at me with a big smile
>she pulls a large piece of wood with a sharpened stone at one end from behind her
>mfw
>THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO INTO THE FUTURE THE GREAT RED APE HARVESTED THE ORGANS OF THE SPACE ELVES AND THIS STARTED THE SECOND MACHINE WAR
>(((Evolution))) specifically says we came from rocks.
>think it's all over
>when out of nowhere a flying groundhog attacks the human
>it's my cousin Vinnie who evolved over night into flyinggroundhog-chu
I'll have to watch the 2001 intro again now. Thanks, user.
It's rather obscure stateside but still called changa. I'm curious do you have any experience with other obscure psychedelics like yopo or sinicuichi? I've tried acid, shrooms, morning glory, and peyote (but I prepared that incorrectly and it didn't work) but I'd like to try the more primitive natural psychs. Obviously ayahuasca and Peyote are still on that list too
/thread
Also this probably is more true than not.
>being dumb enough to think a single mushroom could alter evolution.
kys and joe rogan
funny how you use corn as an example
> alter evolution
More like
> alter consciousness/self-awareness
It is possible, ever heard of DMT?
Or
> induce a new environmental factor that would accelerate evolution
The ingestion of magic mushroom would have had to be repeated multiple times through hundreds of generation to a point where, may I say it, it becomes ritualized.
The frequency at which the ingestion occurs could even explain the discrepancies between races where fertile areas with a lot of wildlife and fair climates would help life expectancies and therefore the levels at which metabolisms (genes) are influenced.
Mods why do you let this happen? This obviously isn't politics. Also op is a faggot.
>monkeys and humans both evolved from a common ancestor which was neither.
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