How do I become a CIA nigger? Will they care about my porn habits or my overt racism?

How do I become a CIA nigger? Will they care about my porn habits or my overt racism?

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They'll call you.

yeah the cia is very religious can't you tell?

Be a Jewish pedofile

Get a PhD in international relations at MIT and see if they ask you in.

I don't recommend it tho. A lot of those people are just plain dumb like MBAs.

DO you glow in the dark?

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get accepted into MIT? Might as well try to win the lotto.

You can literally fill out an application on their website.

>Minimum requirements include:

>US citizenship at the time of application
>A four-year college/university degree from an accredited institution
>Ability to work both autonomously and as part of a team
>Flexibility to adapt to changing work and training requirements
>Excellent verbal and written communication skills
>Ability to make decisions to meet existing conditions and mission requirements rather than relying on preset assumptions and goals

>Competitive Paramilitary Operations Officer applicants have:

>Military special operations or combat arms experience (ground, air or maritime)
>Served in combat leadership positions
>Willingness to serve in hazardous and austere environments overseas (previous foreign travel and foreign language is valued, but not required)

We have a Staff Sergeant in my platoon whose father has worked as a CIA contractor building sites for CIA operations overseas for a few decades, he says it's very faux high class and almost everyone who works there is a huge fucking snob, people comparing and competing when it comes to cars, watches, suits, etc.

The CIA headquarters in Langley has mixed gendered bathrooms.

>The CIA headquarters in Langley has mixed gendered bathrooms.

watdafug, the cia fell for its own jewish tricks?

Yes, I do. I didn't bother with it because it was all so tiresome. And outdated.

For instance you could go to Yale instead and get your best buds to watch you wank off in a coffin and pledge allegiance to Satan if you really want to get ahead in CIA life.

Not today spooks.

Don't waste your time. Literally, "Muh Russian hackers" have undermined the entire IC with practically an unlimited budget.

>The CIA headquarters in Langley has mixed gendered bathrooms.

Are they really this retarded or is it just another layer to their mask?

They haven't cared about mine. You should be fine.

...

That or be a Mormon, or a Scientologist. Or a Freemason.

It's actually a very liberal climate, most people who work for the CIA are leftist liberal fucks because not everyone is the paramilitary officer everyone thinks of when they think of the CIA, most of them are office jockeys fresh out of college who shuffle paperwork.

At least according to this dude's dad, who is from rural West Virginia and was in combat arms in the Army for years before become a CIA contractor.

Yep. All those are other good fraternities if you want to get in on the game.

Consequently, it's what makes the CIA so incompetent and unattractive. Their loss, not mine.

cia niggers actually sniff their own farts and believe their own agitprop.

Political stance of desk jockeys doesn't really matter. Most of them are only there temporarily. Similar to an employee in the fast food industry, they just have to perform a simple task, their opinion doesn't really matter. At least that's my theory anyways.

What's a more "redpilled" agency to work for?

They have to recruit you. It's more about bloodline than it is anything else, otherwise you'll just be a normie agent dealing with boring shit like sand nog terrorist chatter. You have to sell your soul to join them.

The federal agencies are all cancer. Why would you want to work for them? Do you strive to be a nigger picking cotton on the plantation?

Why do you want to be a slave to Israeli lizard people?

CIA is the highest there is in the public eye, maybe they have other top secret agencies that rule in the shadow government but I think CIA is all that's needed.

youtu.be/h-9UvrLyj3k

Bunch of washed up coons banking on a busted reputation.

My friend works there.

He can't drink too much and they want him to submit to a lie detector test every 4 years.

He's rich though, like a millionaire.

>Political stance of desk jockeys doesn't really matter.

They matter more than the collectors and paramilitary guys in the field because they get to pick and choose what gets passed further up the chain, and like the military the higher up the chain you go the worse it gets.

The only "good" Federal Agency is the U.S. Marshal Service.

If the bitch on Homeland can be bipolar why can’t your friend drink more? Has TV lied to me again?

go onto the dark web and find a forum that fits your devious kink, post how you want to do those terrible things and wait

This

Bipolar? That crazy bitch can't even pass the psyche eval.

Few people can. I wouldn't.

I think that was supposedly based loosely on a real person, but I question a lot of that shit. The CIA doesn't have to put up with a lot of shit, unless like you have super obscure or advanced knowledge that they absolutely need.

rich? how? the salary is basically the same as all the other agencies

If you know the right people you can cash in on the scams. Nobody fucking works at a place like that for the normal pay scales unless they're retarded.

Dude I have a masters in an academically related field and military experience. They still won't even respond to my applications despite them listing job openings all the time. I have no idea what could be wrong with my application or what their qualifications are. It's crazy.

>why
Well, let me put it like this...I saw a job posting online requiring Security Clearance. I read the description and their preferred experience with certain software. Like idiots, they posted the name of the software you would be working with in the job description. I downloaded it and it's something I have never heard of before, yet seems to be pretty high level and locked down. You had to provide quite an abundant amount of personal information to even be able to download the software. And you have to log in every time you want to use it.

My point is, you will have access to cutting edge tools like this which can really help to elevate one's area of expertise.

They don't want you

Apparently. I just don't understand why. I easily surpass all of their qualifications.

>muh security clearance
>and you have to log in every time you want to use the software
JUMP DOWN TURN AROUND PICK A BALE OF COTTON

Hack the temple...oh wait.

>Excellent verbal and written communication skills
Most anons are fucked.

Why would they tell you why? Even if you buy a gun from a FFL the NICS check can just say
>nope
and you don't get to know why they access denied

>incoherent rambling
Literally what?

Maybe you are too smart to follow orders

Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of hay.

I'm just gonna go with HR departments being completely worthless, doubly so for government HR workers who can't be fired.

I was in the Army for four years. I'm very capable of following even the most idiotic types of orders.

anyone know what a Cryptanalyst does day-to-day?

Waits until they have enough experience to quit and get hired by a government contractor making three times as much.

how the fuck would you know?

So you would want to chill in special forces or something of that nature that better suits your skill set.

Pay scales are public.

I find that whole Booz Allen Hamilton type shit to be highly suspect and it pisses me off.

this is literally what i was going to do, but i'd still like to know what they actually do at an intelligence agency. fell in love with algebra (real algebra) and would be fun to sit around all day looking at Galois fields.

Usually cryptanalysis

The CIA has people everywhere on their bankroll.

Most of it is garbage, not romanticized shit from your favorite romance novel. "The Secret Team" by L. Fletcher Prouty is a good way to get your mind on track.

Yeah they do fun and games stuff, but it's no James Bond movie.

Checked, correct, and banks are in meltdown.

They do a lot of things, it depends on your position. It's not like everyone is James Bond, in fact, nobody is James Bond because that is fantasy spy shit.

It's actually kind of insane. The amount of job listings I see for intel analysts and other types of those jobs is absurd. How there can be any type of security with tons of corporations having access to TS level stuff is totally baffling to me.

Be born into it.

I applied, passed the intelligence testing, passed the phone interview, package moved forward but I wasn't competitive enough to make it to the next stage. I have combat experience (Cav Scout) and an MBA from a good school. I'm pretty sure what they want is someone who looks like the people we're spying on, and speaks another language.

If you're white you need to basically be former SOCOM with a national security degree from Georgetown or something like that.

>speaks another language.
herp derp

Try three relevant ones as a baseline

>Be as retarded as can be
>Be pussy as can be
>Be "pro" "American" as can be
>You get a Bioluminescence perk

Pretty sure if you speak Urdu and you're not a retard, all you need to do is pass the background check and you're hired

>If you're white you need to basically be former SOCOM with a national security degree from Georgetown or something like that.
This isn't far off from the truth apparently. Their basic qualifications are total bullshit. What I don't get is the fact that people with their actual qualifications could much more easily get a job as contractor making way more money.

Low energy. That's just because they're going after the long tail of odd languages that fit last year's wars.

There's black operatives being "redpilled" of any sort would be doubtful.

>what is a private-public partnership

I agree that they seem to always be fighting the last threat we had. But they're a behemoth of a government agency, and the right hand probably doesn't talk to the left, so that should be expected. People here give them way too much credit.

If you wanna get ahead of the curve, just go to the local pd, confess to human trafficking and drug smuggling and sedition and treason, then kys.

>People here give them way too much credit.
People with no experience working for the government usually do. It takes first hand experience to truly understand how worthless it usually is.

My friend was going to join the CIA and he said he had to submit to them searching through 8 or 4(I can't remember) years of internet history. This was before I knew the NSA was keeping all our data so I was baffled about how that would work.

Defund and clean house for starters. That's my opinion. It's a dayum shame that even the military people can't seem to figure out how to make that concept work.

They were recruiting recently. They played an ad on the radio, it was kinda odd

There's probably several other agencies just as large who we don't even know exist.

That being said, I'm fairly sure there are quite a few Fortune 500 US based companies which are entirely government fronts.

Probably put some secret message in the wording, they seem to like to do that sort of thing.

They wouldn't have the time.

>he had to submit to them searching through 8 or 4(I can't remember) years of internet history.
Well I'm fucked.

people don't keep secrets as well as you think they do

Convert to Judaism

This.

I learned of a CIA husband and wife who are Jesuits. Retired and widowed

This guy has upper management written all over him

Lol they think they have your internet history
>nsa retards btfo

They find your isp track whos "name" its under
>or use the ohh i see you've had history with this email/name on this device on this isp
>Literally retards

Join Army. Go SoecFor, get invited to Collective Assets Group, you will know by then what to do.

yes and yes

They know you’re a neo-Nazi, Juan
They’re a little busy trying to kill white people with their opium epidemic to manage your vibrant personality right now

...

>us intelligence budge
>$50 billion per year

Muh dude, the TSA gets more than that.

I don't get it, you saying they can't actually do that?

Sorry if I'm slightly retarded.

gay

Be a jew

Epigallocatechin will interfere with your ability to watch porn. =$0

How much are they paying ya Abrahamowitz?

TOO SWEET

>If you live alone of course
>If you find other sources like a neighbor,cell tower, or disposable ethernet then no
>When there's more people they can only accuse one person and imply the others.

>want to sacrifice white lives to zog, fuck with Trump, and keep the heroin flowing to Appalachia
>hire a neo-Nazi

If you’re competent and ideologically against them, both are even worse than one

>tfw too intelligent for intelligence