SHITLETS = BTFO!

>Cosmo polled over 700 of our female readers with one simple question
>"what's more attractive: a man who does small poops or large poops?"
>surprisingly woman prefer men who do large to very large poops
>"it tells me he is a healthy alpha male, there's something primal about it" one woman said
>studies suggests that pheromones may play a role in this
>"my husband broke the drain once when he went 'number two', I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly turned on by that"

>TLDR: if you aren't dropping 12 inch logs every few hours you aren't a real man and she will leave you

it's burger time!

>news
>world events
>political issues

some prime shitposting

>Cosmo
U shud kill yourself just for reading that tabloid garbage

>angry pooplet detected

>salty pebble pooper

Because some autists will inevitably not understand how to intrepret it, here's a tip: women base their worldview around appearances. Women do not care how big your logs in reality are, but when they have to imagine a ''big logger'' vs ''small logger'', their mind constructs and image of a big masculine guy vs. a herbivore skinny guy. So ''how do you like your man's shit'' is a proxy question for ''do you like your men masculine''.

Which Law is it when you can't tell if satire or not?

...

i'm basically brad pitt but i don't know how i can let these ladies know. time to make an instagram i guess

I hope Cosmo employees like prison because that's where they are all going when the right power structure is in place. :) degenerate cunts.

Cosmo India.

poopcels BTFO!

Poe's Law

EVERYTHING is political. That's why this place looks like /b

You literally just have to eat alot but also stay fit. Still what a fucking article

>tfw you rip your ass everytime you take a shit
How do I escape this pain? There's always blood in the toilet after I've taken a fat ogre shit.

I thought things were bad but this just makes it even worse.

>be me
>tall guy, 6'4"
>athletic build
>broad shoulders
>objectively not bad looking
>massive penis
>high iq
>well educated
>also discovering just now that big shits are a good thing which i lay plenty of
>girls aren't interested in me

What did I do to deserve this, Sup Forums? By all rights I have everything that should make girls drip from my mere presence but it doesn't happen.

And you europoors were memeing us Americans because we eat McDonald’s, I guess we get the last laugh now with our massive shit logs.

>mfw last week has been nothing but huge, one-turd shits
>few days ago shat literally the biggest turd in my life, wasn't able to measure it but must have been two feet long, it actually folded over on itself in the toilet with out breaking

Been eating lots of soup made from leftover holiday meats and veggies. Maybe it has something to do with that.

>if you aren't dropping 12 inch logs 'every few hours' you aren't ..................UNHEALTHY AS FUCK
That's a fucking beast = NOT fucking human.
You must be a lard ass.

Weird. Almost every girl I talk to flirts with me. SUX2BU

Things that never happened

that's because you ooze faggotry, girls can smell it. Fake it till you make it brah
>6'4" /fit/ user who escaped the beta cave

This. My shits have usually been big and hard all my life, my asshole is probably permanently stretched and my shit will probably just start falling out on its own by the time I'm 50

Cosmo. Are you fucking serious?

start taking photos

Confirmed pooplet

>pooplet
>my sides

That feel when I make Chad manure instead of virgin turds

that's what peak performance looks like

autism is a -10 to all stats.

bad luck mane.

This is why pajeet will get all the women of the future. Real women know it's alpha to street shit so you can show off your prize to the whole world

Poo's law

I have IBS so my poops are soft, but they're pretty huge. Do women like this?

so that's why women love horses

>Pajeet under the sheets
>Shit in the streets

Post pic

There's a 100% chance you're either a sperg or give off massive beta faggot vibes. The fact you're using pol as a shrink suggests both.

>Australia
Kek
It should've been a leaf

yfw Indians shit outside to attract the toppest mate

I poop so big my asshole tears open and the toilet bowl fills with blood, should I make a tinder?

Advertise it idiot. Walk into a room:
>wewlad I just dropped a massive clunkerdunker in there

Bitches act grossed out, but leave snailtrails on there faux leather seats.

>A chad pajeet suddenly enters in the room

In children pooping might become a sexual sensation that leads to become a battyman.

Large shits means you can take a large one up your ass.

My biggest poo was in the bush, was like 1.5" girth and 15" long. Not even joking.

Aww man, ratemypoo.com has been taken down. Some of my best work, gone.

Have some mdma and girls will be all over you

How do you take small shits?

Don’t you just need to eat a lot for them to stay massive

I can smell that through my screen

>Why the fuck would you hold it

You probably have zero charisma, are intensely disturbed by reality and/or are scared of talking to them, girls sense that shit.
Just think fun and don't worry about what she thinks of you (it's about what you think of her) and you'll get some good practice in

tfw shooting some burning diarrhea out of my ass right now

Looks like you're a supreme gentleman. Go for it Buddy. :)

India truly will become a world superpower then

I am seriously on the brink of starting a gang.
the initiation will be you have to kill a journo, I'll call it the zesta boys.
(you have to do it with a lemon zester)

How do you get big poos?

Kikes writing about shit

>try to shit as a kid
>woah wtf it won't come out
>it's stuck
>dig at it with tp
>push hard enough a huge shit ball comes out

>lemon zester
Your funny x'D..

>flag
pajeet diaspora of australia is the ultimate shitposting weapon

Poo's law

Isn’t there a horror doujin about that?

I'm pretty sure there's doujin of every kind for every single thing.

I carry a pocket full of large stones wherever I go with my gf. When I go take a poo, I drop them in periodically so it sounds like I'm taking a big one, just in case she's listening. We've been together for years, so I think it's working.

...

Litaral shitposting

:^)

they do liquid poos though, cannot even compete

Fun fact, women like big stinky shits but not fat people

Does consistency come into it? How does sticky, solid, and diarrhoea fit into the poo hierarchy

This is so goddamn Jewy it's disgusting

>diarrhoea
Logs are better because you can fit them in a condom

>flag
>shitposting literal shit.
Fucking noice.