Defending French History

Dedicated to defending French history against French bashing and French-washing.

youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=G19B9T2asfg

Other urls found in this thread:

albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Tours
youtube.com/watch?v=ET3hVCZcRVw
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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Up until world war 1. And then they lose 30,000 men and 250,000+ wounded in a day on the western front.

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The French were absolute badasses in WWI. The Brits I've seen in old interviews and read the memoirs of were in awe of them. The whole white flags, French can't fight meme is because their leader didn't disagree with Hitler in WWII. Don't hate that they were redpilled before you were.

I thought France had a history of losing and surrendering.

Hungarian saying: "Why glorify last years bread when the folk is starving this year."

This pretty much summs it up what I think about the "invincible" french military...that got the shit beaten out of them by the jerries in a few days and would never have been "victorious" if it hadn't been for the american/british armies chasing the jerries away.

And now they're a shadow of their former self. A dying, once amazing nation and race, that changed the world, joining with the highest tiers of humanity among white Anglos and Germans, yet with the still lingering, beautifully strong national anthem of a superior people of a past time, downplayed but for a blink's difference in technology between them then and us now.

What about the time they lost in vietnam and call you for help?

That was not Frenchmen.

The CEFEO was largely made up of voluntarily-enlisted indigenous tirailleurs from the French Union colonial or protectorate territories in the Maghreb (Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia), sub-Saharan Africa, Madagascar, and South-East Asia

England here,

You ever wondered why there are so many white people on the earth? You ever wonder why they all speak English? We did that.

>Did you know?
Of course, had anyone played EU4 here?
For any small country Fence is go to ally if you want to have any power in Europe(the central/eastern part), Asutria and Hungary have nothing on France.
The meme has risen up after WW2 but even then, they fought trough the resistance forces.

It's just fun to see frogs getting triggered

This

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France*

England here,

Ever wonder why there's so many non-white people in every European country now? We did that.

Wrong.

Didn't you do that, Mr EU?

England here,

There's more people speaking Spanish m8. Won't count Chinese since they are a zerg swarm. Also:

>Implying France didn't repeatedly fuck Europe up repeatedly in history.

Vietnam was fucked and not really worth it. OK?

What is Vietnam good for now? Not much besides the food. Otherwise it's just a generic Asian shithole.

If you look at and compared all the european countries war record, you would come to a pretty funny conclusion.
the french it would appear, were prety badass in the last 1,000 years.
The WORST war record goes to germany, they somehow managed to lose every war in the last 1,000 years, besides the anglo-franco war, thats the only war they won.
Second worst is Russia, when they dont lose against others, they lose against themselves.
The BEST war record, as far as i can see, goes to the UK, but over half of their wars was stomping unarmed niggers in africa.... it doesnt really count as hard as winning vs a white country, i guess....
Wanna guess which country has the best white-vs-white win/lose and K/D ratio in europe?

Oh sorry, i meant REAL languages.

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They're the same race tho? Let me hop down to Calais and get some photos of some average French people.

>- Gallic Wars
>- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at this time in history, a Roman -ed.]

>- Hundred Years War
>- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

>- Italian Wars
>- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

>- Wars of Religion
>- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

>- Thirty Years War
>- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

>- War of Revolution
>- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

>- The Dutch War
>- Tied

>- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
>- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

>- War of the Spanish Succession
>- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

>- American Revolution
>- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

>- French Revolution
>- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

>- The Napoleonic Wars
>- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

>- The Franco-Prussian War
>- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

>- World War I
>- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

>- World War II
>- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

>- War in Indochina
>- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

>- Algerian Rebellion
>- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

>- War on Terrorism
>- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

Okay for starters thats wrong english is the number one spoken language in the world, you dont see germans,french,pols,russians etc.. speaking spainish as a second language now do you?
Even if there were more people speaking spainish where are they speaking it? Oh yeah in 3rd world shit hole countries where you can get aids just from drinking the water.

>Norse invasions, 841-911.
>After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

>Mexico, 1863-1864.
>France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

>Panama jungles 1881-1890.
>No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

>Haiti, 1791-1804.
>French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

>India, 1673-1813.
>British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

>Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
>Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

>1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
>French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

>Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
>Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

>1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
>When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

>St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
>Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

>Third Crusade.
>Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

>Seventh Crusade.
>St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

>[Eighth] Crusade.
>St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

>Seven year War 1756-1763
>Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

No wonder they threw up the flag so quickly to ze chermanz.

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spotted the amerimutt.

vive la france

How much Aquitaine did she have to take to get to that shade of light brown?

Worst victory of all. It's the day France truly died, and it hasn't been the same since. Worse, everyone followed in our footsteps, on the path to degeneracy, jewry and cultural destruction.

The French revolution was a mistake, France hasn't been the same since. But we're seeking to restore it.

Vive le Roy !

and what is your real flag?
is it by chance a country with an even worse war record than france?

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Does that include every battle Charlemagne had against German savages?

Looks middle-eastern desu.

I'd sniff it.

I remember that French history contains bombing Libya.

>You ever wonder why they all speak English? We did that.
Nope, US and Internet did that, Achmed.

>Capital of UK minority white
>Mudslime mayor

Who's country has had too much Aquitaine?

>albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

this is some of the most hilairious shit ever

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Tours

That shit happened as soon as WW2 ended, we were crippled by that point.

In 50 years niggers will start claim their history in good old we wuz Fashion.

There is exactly two points in history when the french weren't an embarrassment, the 30y War, and Napoopan. At every other point in time they got bullied and/or conquered by their betters.

Have you seen your own country dindu?

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>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Tours


You probably think Karl the Great was a frog, too.

Yeah we were the most successfull nation once.

Now we're shit.

Actually we aren't that bad now, we are still in the top 5 milliary power, top 5 economic and we have a huge soft power thanks to Jupiter.

Our history is being replaced by sandnigger's history.

I mean, my 11 yo niece is learning Mahomet and all that shit.

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Bump because dumb Anglo memes trigger me too

ACTUALLY It's Chinese then Spanish THEN English

France was the fucking bomb before you chopped off the heads of your betters. Robespierre probably did more damage to the west solo than any war until WW1.

Dear frenchie.
Youre bunch of faggots and niggers now.

And the faggot part pretend your history doesnt even matter.
Not trying to be mean, actually Im sorry and wish it wasnt like that.

Ask her parents to teach her Charles martel

Joan of Arc (1412-1431)
As a national heroine and the patron saint of France, Joan of Arc has been inspirational to many historical French figures. Fearless in her stance against the English, Joan led the French army into a victorious battle during the 100 Years War. However, the English captured the brave young Joan and she was burned at the stake, becoming a martyr for France in the process. Joan of Arc has since become a ubiquitous character in French performing arts and literature.

French expat here, I admire polish nationalisme. Continue comme ça et peut être j'irais en pologne.

France is actually the most successful European country when it comes to warfare, historically.
There's a reason we use French terminology so much when it comes to military.

>Charles Martel wasn't french
??

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This kills the brit

The French Totally redeemed themselves in my eyes by sinking the rainbow warrior.

It's not the number of times they loose it's that they always loose the important battles.

They lost the 7 years war which decided the colonial arrangement from then to now.

They lost the Napoleonic was which decided the order of Europe.

They were humiliated in WW2 which decided the post-war world.

>they lost Napoleonic Wars
Yes and no. France wasn't diminished in it's power. They just failed at establishing continental hegemony.

on the continent, maybe.

>French honour
The French have no honour when even Gooks did more during World War 2. What did the French do? Shave the hair of their women whilst their women fucked Nazis in the cinemas of Paris.

When the British went in to destroy the French navy to deny the Nazis it was the French who stood up and complained the loudest as though they had just forgotten they had just surrendered to the Germans.

So why is everybody speaking English and Spanish now?

loose what?
they were pussies

They Brits also gave them the option to either A) join the fight from the UK or B) scuttle their ships and save the men aboard, both of which they refused.

Another interesting fact is that of the 100,000 French soldiers evacuated from Dunkirk 80% of them just returned home to live in Vichy France.

based on what? not clicking jewtube

if we count battles won, spain was the most successful country in europe

Truth. All that head chopping was the start of the rot.

Not quite, Pierre.

Who would want to fight for the nigger-loving Britfag government anyway?

youtube.com/watch?v=ET3hVCZcRVw
Parisians are beating american and british POWs paraded by germans on the streets. In just a few weeks Paris will be liberated. In just a few years every French suddenly becomes a conspirated member of La Resistance, not a disgusting, treasonous, collaborating piece of shit.

France is the best Western euro country
Prove me wrong
>Pro tip you can't


>Polish legions
Ayy
They even mentioned us, that's nice.
I am going to continue the tradition of Polish legions and join French foreign legion in few years

How do you have such a retarded and childlike view of history?

1759

Joan of Arc was a hero to England DESU. Kept England from being Frenchified, which would've been the result of England winning the 100 Years War.

Pretty sure that was actually the romans