Gag comedy works best in short formats, where only having one main joke doesn't get too repetitive. This could be a decent short comedy.
If you do want to scale things up beyond the high school, it'd be wise to start hinting at that expanding scope early on. I like the concept of the conflict though. It's got some pathos to it.
Folklore from around the world is fascinating. I'd love to see what you do with it.
You have some interesting material for a children's adventure story here. If you wanted to refine it to a pitch, I think it would work well.
No problem. I enjoy editing, and the variety of content here is nice. I'll take a gander at N/a/meless Knight as well.
I feel like the actual story starts with whatever the next sentence is after "Washes up at some unknown land".
Sounds vaguely like Exodus, the show-within-a-show from Shirobako, but somehow even more extreme.
This is interesting as a setting and basic concept. It sounds almost like you're prepping to DM a campaign, and it might be a concept better explored within the medium of games.
This...will probably actually happen at some point.
The tone I currently get from this is "feel-good story", what with the protagonist bettering himself and helping others. You could have a serious threat antagonist in such a story, as long as you don't dwell too hard on the darkness/menace.
Decent premise; needs expansion.
"War is hell" is an old cliche. I do not feel this adds much to it.
I feel like I've heard this story before, specifically "Humanity has one last hope, a new battleship has been built from captured alien tech". Nonetheless, it's a functional story. I'd just like to know more about the MC and the specific storyline he goes through.
Do these two would-be-lovers have any particular traits?
Lewd