Be me

>be me
>mom is super religious, against everything
>wake up
>check phone and see we have a 2 hour delay for school
>fuck yes.jpg
>since I have 2 hours to spare, I start to jack off
>about to cum
>mom walks in
>"user, I made pancakes, do you want-OH MY GOD STOP!"
>mom runs out of my room screaming
>hear her telling my dad
>dad came into my room and stared talking about me going to hell
>mfw
>after that I just got ready to go to school and browsed Reddit and Sup Forums

I haven't talked to my parents since and that was a week ago. During dinner my parents won't even talk to me. What should I do Sup Forums?

I'll keep you all updated if they ever talk to me again

I feel you user. But if anyone says masturbation is unnatural they are off base and need to see a therapist. Kindly fuck off to Sup Forums thanks man.

Ha!!

Well it doesn't get better

>>be me. Basically same story as you except I'm 36 and wife catches me beating it when she comes home from work early. She's horrified. Screams I dont love her and could be cheating. I try to make better by trying to get her to finish me off with her mouth.
>>she cries. Says I treat her like piece of meat. She runs outta room
>>I continue to fap alone

Apologize and don't do it again.

You shouldn’t be wasting your masculine energies on the pornographic Jew anyways

Tell them you you’re addicted and have been wanting to quit, and that getting caught was a wake up call. They’ll probably take away your internet for a while but will ultimately forgive you.

Seriously don’t be a self pleasuring faggot tho

Okay, hey Sup Forums, OP here. After I posted this, I went to the living room where my mom and dad were to try to talk to them and they wouldn't talk to me so I asked why they wouldn't talk to me and they started screaming about how they wish they could put me up for adoption and that no son of theirs is going to be a sinful masturbater.

My wife won't suck me off when she's crying either.

Go on a pilgrimage barefooted.

you've gotta make her cry AFTER she starts sucking.

adoptedfag here. that's cold. here's the plan: stop masturbating. go get laid. problem solved.

Don’t be awkward about it, that just makes it worse. Start bringing random women home and back to your room. Let your parents know you’re not some beta cuck that jerks off cause you can’t get laid.

To the last 2 user's that replied, my mom is a huge Christian so it would be just as bad to have sex before marriage.

based leaf

>160x90

Come on bro that's disrespectful.

lmao get new parents

>Reddit
You deserve this mess lmao

The thumbnail is higher definition than the image somehow, it's unreal
it shows

op's id is tay, other than that, shit story horrible larp go to /r9k/ to post your shitty greentext story

You have to be 18+ to post on /pol

>What should I do Sup Forums?
Not come on Sup Forums until you are 18 years or older.

Waite until they're not home, snoop around house and computer looking for comprising info on them.
Or
Take their bedroom door off hinges then explain privacy issues.

Forget about it, ignore them. Look forward to growing up and moving out where you can jack off all you want, so much that your nuts hurt and you think you're going to die. But guess what!!!! You'll _ALSO_ be able to fuck girls as often as you can afford. Hint: drugs & alcohol helps bigtime if you are looking for a hit it and quit it thing.

>What should I do Sup Forums?
Stop masturbating obviously.

What you need to do user is get caught masturbating animals, prefurably the family dog & several others. Then this won't seem so bad.

Ask your dad if he ever beat his meat, and how did he stop? Awkward as fuck, right? If he says he never jerked off, he’s a fuckin liar, he’s humped a pillow, or a couch, or maybe even the family dog. Otherwise.... nocturnal emissions. It’s a natural process the body needs when it reaches that stage, or you greatly increase the risk of random boners in public and colon cancer. Look that shit up. I suggest having that conversation with your dad when mommy ain’t around.

Purge this degeneracy

when you jerk it with someone else in the house you do it without sound and be on alert at all times, or y'know lock your door.
t. never been caught

Your mom is right. Not about the hell and religious stuff but about masturbation being wrong.

Stop jerking off you fucking degenerate pervert.

Your going to hell bro

You had it good bro, pan cakes....

You fucked up.

>going to Hell for sinning
Your parents don't understand the Bible at all.

Also, you have to be 18 to post on this site, newfag.

Well, I'm supposed to be 18 to go on pornhub too so...

Dude the mods will ban you for this post

Masturbation alone is not a sin and even if it were it would definitely not be a sin worth hell if you've already recieved Jesus in your heart and struggle against sin instead of dwelling in it

Now masturbation becomes a problem when you're doing it to porn/hentai or whatever, even lustful imagination is sin according to Jesus, so I'd recommend to do it solely for the purpose of lowering sex drive without imagery or thinking lewd stuff, as any other excersize, its pretty gud

t. christian

Delet delet delet before a fag reports you

they are memeing you

Masturbation is pushed by jews to corrupt the white race.

>kekistan
>reddit
how about GTFO?

MODS PLS BAN THIS UNDERAGE FAG

>"sin"

LoL

just rape her lol

Tell them you feel free now that you know you're going to hell no matter what you do. Stop going to church (if you did) now that there's no point. Beat it with the volume on high, no ear buds, and refuse to stop. Eventually you'll drive them out of the house through your sinful ways and then you have the whole place to yourself.

He might not be underage. He might be a lazy millennial.

Porn/sexual immorality is pushed by jews to corrupt everyone (I do agree whites are a priority target) but masturbation is natural and healthy so long as its done without lust

I don't know how to handle this situation, but I'd just like to say that it's really sweet of your folks to treat you like shit for doing something that 80% of the population does --- and that's just the ones who admit it.

That's a genuinely terrible story, what's so goddamned wrong with masturbating that your partner can't see it anyway? If my ex or I walked in on the other, we'd probably have helped.

God you burgers are such prudes.

where. send a link.

Hahah better yet, beat it while staring into your mothers eyes, OP. Refuse to stop.

stop being a degenerate, thanks.

where. send link.

And by, we'd probably have helped, I mean as tested by experience.

go back to your containment boards you fucking underage faggot

This entire thread.
Take it to Sup Forums.
They can relate. It doesn't belong here.

>be me
>talk dad into buyong webcam in early 2000's
>later that night on Internet chattin girls up on yahoo chat
>girl camming with me
>show her my dick
>dad comes in
>plop shirt over rod...
>but it dont matter cam pointing at my dick and girls tits on screen
>freeze in shock fear and horror
>hes behind me
>hear 'jesus christ for fucks sake'
>door shuts
>dad ignores me for weeks

ask if you can go down on your mom to make up for her walking in on you.

Just tell your parents that's the way you kick evil out of you.
>building a sticky stairway to heaven.

gr8 post

MODS MODS MODS

Stop masturbating, take cold showers, and write on your left hand "NS" and on your right, "NT". Proceed to read SIEGE and take every opportunity to better yourself, alright bud? No one will be safe from to up coming war. Not even you user.

tell them you repent and you read a 19th century book talking about the physical and mental deterioration caused by mastruabtion and love them and vow never to do it again

That's about as much effort as is required for people who believe in something as ridiculous as "sin"

Sad thing is, this whole situation is too fucking freudian to joke about that shit.
>Pic very much related

>masturbation is not a sin
Any sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin.

STOP

What's up with all the degenerate posts? You guys some old virgin wizards or something?

christcucks are the problem.

Time for a new wive

Not talking to fucking grown children of parents

where's the loss, I'd exile them if I owned my own country, they're human garbage

This. Giving control of your own life to someone else is pathetic -- giving it over to a fucking book is 100 times worse.

Everyone jerks off. Even your parents.

*tips fedora* M'lad

Even if you don't believe in its spiritual repercussion, sin is a transgression of God's law, so it does exist as a definition or a moral code

Better thought

They failed you by Christian standards, you're parents we're supposed to have you married off to a good christian girl from a good family and utterly failed by biblical traditional norms

They faked their Christianity in child rearing and are bitching at you.

Please do provide biblical context or references pls

Have your parents buy this for you

FeelsGoodMan

Sorry bud, I'm married and have two boys of my own. No fedora here other than on my work laptops.

This
an checked.

>dad came into my room
like father like son

Especially the evangelical and mormons. Former atheist here, but it's ok because all the various churches are just there to use a book you like and find relevant to cuck you, even if you are christian.

Fedora implies atheism or edgy anti-religion

Kudos on your marriage tho, be a good father