How do I move to the US burgerbros?

How do I move to the US burgerbros?
I'm sick of living in this cucked country.
The government is fucking me over and there's nothing I can do about it.

>be an aspiring chef
>want to practice cooking outside of college
>apply for a license
>after a 30 minute interview and 2 psychological tests, deemed fit to posses a license
>receive my 2 year class B culinary sharps license (which allows you to own and use knives at home rather than a licensed establishment)
>yesterday decide to go out to the shops and purchase an expensive knife set I'd been looking at
>bring my ID and license documents and get in the car
>notice fuel warning light is on but know that I can easily make the trip
>get to the shop, show my paperwork and purchase the set
>clerk swipes his card on the box to release the security wires, 20 minute timer is activated
>know I can get back home where I'm licensed in 10 minutes so I should be fine
>driving home
>there's fucking roadworks
>follow the diversion
>seems like they've blocked off the whole town, diversion is taking me further and further away
>suddenly car loses all power
>out of fuel
>start cursing, know there's probably only about 5 minutes left on the timer and it'll take me 10 minutes to walk home
>jump out of the car and start fastwalking home with this box of knives, don't want to start running because it'll look like I've just robbed somewhere
>get home in record time
>think I must have made it
>today, wake up and check the post
>apparently I wasn't quick enough, timer expired and I was detected as in possession of sharps in an unlicensed area
>now i have to either pay a £500 fine and be subjected to a mandatory home inspection, or face up to 12 months in jail

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/Anf0aItLOBU
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I know that feel lad. One time I bought a set that the store employee forgot to activate the timer on, and when the knife inspector searched my house I was charged with possession of primed knives with intent to distribute.

is this a joke? i cant tell anymore

> going to 56%

I wish it was, but the only thing that's a joke is our country.

The bitches have to have a license to own a TV, dude. JEWGLE it and see for yourself. I wouldn't live in Cuckland for all the tea on China.

...

Immigration to the US isn't easy even if you're European.

This pic is a lie desu. There are some easier shady ways.

Unless you are an ethnic or religious minority no way you're getting in, don't crucify me because I tell the truth.

Don't come.

It's very easy, all you need is a bit of money.

The us is a champion of this shit.

Bong-Bro, you may want to start thinking of how to emigrate. The writing is on the wall, just look at what's happening here in California. All the communist shitholes are getting crazier and crazier. What I don't get is doesn't the Royal Family understand that they are actually destroying their country?

This guy know it. Well, not a bit, £10-15k.

>Immigration to the US isn't easy even if you're European.
Thank God.

...

Most Americans don't even bathe
The most clean they get is when it rains outside and their scooter happens to run out of battery at the same time they're in the rain
Americans are disgusting lumps of gangrenous lard that exist purely to turn gallons upon gallons of high fructose corn syrup into watery diarrhea and nothing else
If you put an American in a bath or a pool to clean them off, they'd get even dirtier because they'd shit into the water from their muscles relaxing, thus becoming covered in watery shit yet smelling only sightly worse than normal
Fuck America and fuck Americans

>BEE
oi, don't be a clinger, bin that stinger

holy FUCK. this is god damn hilarious. i'm going to order a set on amazon just because i can now

You dont need a licence to buy knives in UK

Show your real flag Pablo

It's really not. I had a pal who had seizures rather frequently, He was buying some things for his new home as he just moved in with his girlfriend and decided to pick up some knives. After he bought them and the 20 minute timer was activated, he ended up having a seizure in the Morrisons (A posh shop here) toilets and was unconscious for about 10-15 minutes. Once he'd come round he could hear a loud banging on the toilet door and people shouting "POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR". He started freaking out and hadn't fully recovered so tried with all his energy to let them in, but before he could they broke the door open. He was immediately tazed by the police which caused him to have a second seizure and the next thing he knew he was in a jail cell at the local station. After all of that he was given a 3 month suspended sentence for not getting home within the timer limit. Oh and he got a £2000 fine for it. The UK is dead.

Should have stopped for gas before buying the knives.

>hurr durr, everybody who wishes to enter a country should be allowed regardless of what the citizens want
liberals literally believe that

Well about a million with a view to hire some Americans and start a business, loads of asains are in the usa because of this and lots of real estate agents have a side business of creating property companies to cater to green card receipts if I remember correctly kushner companies do this a a lot

Here's a sad video about saying goodbye to Europe, but knowing European laws you probably can't watch it

youtu.be/Anf0aItLOBU

Actually it is the opposite. It is rare to find a stinky native here in the civilized parts. In Europa stinky fucks are everywhere.

i have never seen so many ignorant, superficial and uneducated people in my life as i did in the states. your live is average and uninteresting, you don't have any culture except consumerism, your entire nation struggles needlessly because of your through and through corrupt and broken government. the most interesting thing i get to hear is that someone got shot around that corner and how the NRA is the best thing ever

It's obviously a joke.

>clerk swipes his card on the box to release the security wires, 20 minute timer is activated
whut?

don't be a queef
bin those teeth

If you're proud to be an American you're a fucking sub-90 IQ moron in terms of intelligence. There is hardly anything good about this shitty nation.

Facts about America:

- Gini Coefficient (i.e. income inequality) has reached African-tier levels
- Over 20$ trillion dollars in debt
- Infrastructure is in poor and dilapidated shape and received a -D overall
- Health care system ranked 50 out of 55 nations assessed by Bloomberg
- Almost 35 nations have a longer life expectancy than America. Costa Rica has a higher life expectancy than America.
- Most Americans (52.1%) of the people in the United States live in areas with harmful levels of pollution
- Majority of cities in America are 3rd world shitholes infested with Negroes. Cities like Detroit, St. Louis, Baltimore, and New Orleans are some of the most dangerous cities in the world.
- Most Southern States are 3rd world shitholes infested with rednecks, white trash, and niggers
- America has 50 states yet most states in America are irrelevant shitty flyover backwater states
- Infant mortality rate on par with Botswana
- HIV more common in America than Somalia
- 35% of the population is obese
- General population is stupid as fuck
- Value of the dollar has decreased precipitously

America is a borderline 3rd world shithole. If you're seriously proud of being American then you should fucking kill yourself.

Holy shit, that's a real thing?

Or you pay 15k to a lawyet and he finds a way for you to get a greencard. Either it will be a fake asylum, or something else.
Tbh the best way for a white person to immigrate is to get a gf in Korea/Japan. I wish I was white.

You're not legally allowed to carry knives outside of licensed areas.
Obviously when you buy knives at a store you need to do so to get them home, so once you've paid you have a 20 minute window in which to transport the knife back to your house.

Being in possession of sharps in an unlicensed area is not a joking matter !

>Your live

Bong 'English'.

>is this a joke?
Yes
>i cant tell anymore
I have a similar thing with American flags saying dumb shit like you.

every night before i go to sleep i pray for the utter destruction of the United States of America. drought, famine, disease, nuclear holocaust i dont care.

this evil force of decadence needs to be eliminated for the wellbeing of humanity

you are disgusting
you are spread your evil culture all around the world

>inb4 amerishartlet janitor deletes the thread because he cant handle the truth

What about a really sharp, high quality plastic knife?

Idk man, Mexican cartels of capable of making their own high quality guns, British people not being able to take a piece of metal & sharpening it is fucking pathetic

this can't be real

20 minute timer?
Wut?

>Korea/Japan


No thx

Sometimes they test the sharpness of plastic knives during a knife inspection too, I've only ever had it happen once though.

You think

>>i cant tell anymore
>I have a similar thing with American flags saying dumb shit like you.
Keeeeeek
Fucking retarded Americans

See

You have no idea how good your standard of living is compared to other countries. Last time i was in the states i hooked up with a girl who worked part time in a steakhouse. Her house was very similar to mine and i asked her how much she pays in rent. Almost cried when she told me $700 a month, I cant even pay my other bills for $700 a month.

Everything seems to be great in the USA.. despite all the obvious shit that is going everywhere in the west. But affordable homes, guns, free speech, christianity still being dominant and a host of other things, ..
My only real concern is the healthcare situation.

How do they know?
There a fucking GPS on it?

Americans are a blight and a stain upon the face of the earth.
I can honestly say, with good heart, intention and conviction, that of all the myriad of beings and creatures god in his infinite wisdom placed upon this earth, there is none more toxic, venomous, conniving or disgusting than the American. His breath reeks of his nation's horrible 'culinary culture'. His woman sleeps with whichever nigger roams onto his street next. His mangled and subhuman hands have brought about the end of many a great peoples and the only thing his wretched, dirty eyes see is envy and lust.

Dont let him leave this paradise, dont believe him he lies this country is great and its future brighter than ever.

>Yes

Oh lad... you don't even know.

It has a GPS and a network antenna inside it I believe.
Once the internal timer runs out and your GPS position isn't at a licensed location it sends an alert over the cell network.

Post more pretty knives.

This has to be ironic bantz.
I can't believe that. Too stupid and cucked to be real.

>ITT: Americans get outed for the retards that they are
Aka every thread ever

I fled across the North Sea, friend, I know. Britain is utterly fucked beyond redemption, but you can still buy kitchen knives.. What else are they going to use to decapitate the Queen's troops in the streets?

...

These here are democrats.
They'll shriek in pain and disbelief if you go public and say they're unamerican and you shouldn't vote for them.

>Too stupid and cucked to be real.
THE AMERICAN FIGURES IT OUT
EVERY ONE GIVE A 21 SHART SALUTE TO THIS BURGER
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE

I don't know why you guys just don't sue over this shit? It clearly is discrimination.

This study was just a phone survey or something. Most of the people probably just thought it would be funny to say yes.

Getting knives home in time would make a hilarious game show.


>The Knife Is Right

Mate I'm not even American
And this is what you look like

What are you then? What brought you to the US of A?

To be serious for a moment, the only way I can get to work is through a short country lane that has thin branches sticking out everywhere that make walking down it really annoying in the dark because they constantly hit me in the face and it makes it more difficult to pass cars. If I could just walk down it with a pair of scissors and cut all of them off in 10 minutes, the problem would be solved, but it would be illegal to do that.

Is this a joke or do knife boxes literally have timers to get home with??!? Wtf man. I'm about to drive over to the store to buy several hundred rounds of ammo for my glock 19, glock 20, AR-15, 1911, and mosin nagant. I'll be carrying the glock 20 on my hip like I do all day every day...jeesus I'm going to hug my guns closely tonight.

How many kids under the age of 5?

You fucking morons, it's only activated sharps that this law applies to. You can request that the retailer/seller deactivate it for you in order to transport it home, in fact the provisions under the statute make it their legal obligation if requested of them at or before time of purchase. Then you obviously reactivate the sharps once you get home. It's a very simple process, if you get caught out it's your own fault.

Yes, they all have timers.
The standard time is 20 minutes, but if you're elderly or legally disabled you can request a time extension which gets added to your license if approved.

Pic related, what the license extension marks look like.
Numbers in the half circles are how many extra minutes you get, and numbers in the half squares are the maximum amount of knives in a box you can carry with that extra time.

>What about a really sharp, high quality plastic knife
What part of "no sharps without a license" is confusing to you? Fucking burger education.
We envy your liberty dear brother. Nuke us please.

Its fucking bad here.

Timers recently got reduced in my village because the council received numerous complaints about people strolling home at a leisurely pace with threatening deadly weapons, which was obviously perceived as illegal intimidation and a breach of the peace.

Now you literally can't buy knives if you don't have a car and I just had my f*cking car confiscated because it has a built in TV screen in the back passenger seats which I forgot to get licensed before driving it home from the dealership.. worst thing is Im sure it was the car salesmen who dobbed me in so he could get his £20 commission from the BBC.

the most awful part of this is I cant tell if this a joke or not. I hope youre all just having a laugh

I wish I was joking lad.

It can get pretty frustrating and in fact I nearly lost my temper when the police officers came to arrest me for driving without a TV license but luckily they had me drink some tap water which always calms me down, was much more passive and agreeable after that thank golly!

>there are people who let their car run on near-empty

Of course a fucking european wouldn't respect his vehicle.

When I buy sharps I always take my dad with me to buy them because he has a Disabled License so it gives me those extra few minutes to get home in time and avoid the fine.
(You can say your dad gave the sharps to you as a present to explain why they are in your property and not his.)

>(You can say your dad gave the sharps to you as a present to explain why they are in your property and not his.)

Are you sure about that?

I thought gifting sharps was outlawed back in 2014

>>suddenly car loses all power
>>out of fuel
Being retarded is your own fault and fearture. It does not change when you move, your retardation moves with you.

knives are legal in the uk, just google it, instead of listening to the retards on Sup Forums

Lol We can legally walk around in the open with a a rifle here

perfectly legal although discouraged

You do realize you live in a dystopian world don't you user?