I need as many offensive jokes in about 5 mins

I need as many offensive jokes in about 5 mins

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza hut pizza?

I actually want a jew in my oven.

what's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?

skid marks lead up to the dog

what do you call a black guy flying a plane?

a nigger

jews are not white

Why don't you ever throw a brick at a nigger driving a car?

It's most likely your car.

What did the black dad get his kid for his 7th birthday?

Your bike.

What's worse then the Holocaust?

6 million Jews.

How do you kill a black widow?

Take away her food stamps

Hey man don't make jokes about the holocaust, my great uncle died during it.

He fell out of one of the nazi guard towers while on duty.

>you are such a low test beta you have to ask gypsies and latinos larping as nazis advice on Sup Forums about swearing kids in a shitty online game. Jesus Christ, get a life you major faggot.
There you go, OP! Show'em you're a tough white man who regularly cleans his room

Now jokes about white people

Why do the put cotton in medicine bottles?

So niggers know they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

damn dude my grandpa died at auschwitz when a guard fell out of his tower and landed on him

There are like, 2 good white people jokes and I remember neither of them.

>darksouls3plungeattack.jpg

What do you call white Americans?

Master

What's white on the bottom and black on top?

rape

>What’s the cheapest way to make copper wire?
Throw a penny between two Jews

>Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
She was a woman

It's said that Neil Armstrong would tell real lame jokes about the moon, then immediately follow up with "I guess you had to be there."

Trump.

/thread

whats the different between white people and yogurt?

in a couple centuries yogurt will begin to develop its own cultures

Harsh bro, my uncle was crushed while on patrol by a guard who fell out of a tower

needs some work

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

The other day, I saw a black man walking down the street with a large flat-screen television in his arms. I thought, "Oh shoot, that looks like mine." But then I realized it couldn't be mine -- Mine was at home shining my shoes.

user: my grandfaher died in a Nazi death camp
Normie: that’s awful! I’m sorry to hear it.
user: yeah he fell off a guard tower

I like this.

top kek dude, that was funny as hell

jokes about sand niggers (Arabs)

What does a mexican say when you steal his cheese?
>Hey, that's nacho cheese

what is the worst part of being a black jew? having to sit in the back of the oven.

A nigger a hadji and a kike walk into a bar

The bartender looks up and says get the fuck out of here

>sand niggers (Arabs)

thanks for clearing that up for me
At first I had no idea what you meant by that.

What's the difference between a jew and baking a cake?

You set the oven to only 350 when you put the cake in.

Why do jewish men get circumcised?
Because jewish women only touch things that are 20% off

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

...

...

qeq.

...

A priest and a rabbi walk past a playground. They see a child standing there alone. The priest says "wanna fuck him?" The rabbit then says "outta what?"

...

how do you get a nigger out of a tree...

you cut the rope

The jury

...

I was recently raped by a group of mimes, they performed unspeakable acts on me.

How did hitler manage to genocide 6 million jews?
He threw a shekel in an oven.

OP's penis

Ok ive got two, one is my personal favorite, the other is really rough around the edges oc

>how do you make a six year old cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear

>be hs grad today, hiroshima, 1945
>go outside with class to take picture in gowns
>toomuchflash.jpg
>mfw my hs grad pic is my nuclear shadow

My grandfather died in Auschwitz.

His last words were "Fuck, the russians are coming!"

Jokes about child porn

Awesome....love it. Top keks for you

Did you hear about that new pregnancy test that only works with black babies?

If the bitch pulls her tampon out and the cotton is picked out, it's a nigger baby.

What's the best about 27 year old girls?
there's 20 of them

A Jew, rapist, and child molester walk into a bar.... And that's just the first guy.

...

a Sup Forumsack, a muslim, a jew, and black guy walk into a bar
then pigs fly out my asshole because that shit's never gonna happen

I MEAN AM I RIGHT FOLKS
*taps mic*
This fucking thing on or WHAT?

what the fuck

whats the best part about rape???

YOU DONT NEED HER PERMISSION LOLOLOL

>a Jew, a nigger, and a faggot all go to Heaven
>St. Peter checks the list
>”All Of you had about the same amount of sins versus good deeds. So we’re going to send you back to Earth. But sin once more, and you’ll be sent to Hell.”
>poof! All three back on Earth
>so all three are walking down the street
>see sexy white woman laying drunk & passed out in alley
>Nogger: “Aw shiet, I just gotta do her! She all passed out and shiet. Man, no one gonna notice; I go rape dat bitch!”
>nigger goes in alley, pulls down pants...
>poof! Disappears in smoke & sulfur
>Jew and fag look at each other, ohshitthisisserious.jpg
>Jew & fag continue walking down the street
>Jew sees a penny lying on the ground, bends over to pick it up...
>poof! Both the Jew and the fag disappear

Hitler was pay back for Jesus

...

A HORSE IS FUCKING A NIGGER IN THE ASS
THE NIGGER TURNS BACK TO THE HORSE AND SAYS
>AND I THOUGHT I WAS HUNG
SO THE HORSE REPLIES
>NOT YET YOU FUCKING COON

...

Brothers

Top fukcing kek/

...

Kek

Fatherly advice:
A kid asks his Dad, "Why do people say someone has a green thumb when they are good at gardening, even though their thumbs aren't green?"
The Dad says, "It's just an expression son, like when we say someone is caught red handed, even though their hands are black".

...

jokes about 9/11

...

Peño Nieta, Vladimir Putin, and Donald Trump are riding in a helicopter. Nieta pulls out a bottle of tequila, says "we have too many of these in my country, and throws it out the door. Putin pulls out a bottle of vodka, says "we have too many of these in my country, and throws it out the door. Trump takes a sip of diet coke, grabs Nieta, throws him out of the helicopter, and says "we have too many of these in my.country."

...

I once saved a cousin from being raped, i changed my mind.

I have no problem with black people in fact I think every white family should own one

...

...

...

How do you know Jesus wasn't black?
He knew who his father was.

...

what do you say when you see your TV floating across the room at night? Drop it, nigger!

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck his dick.

What can you do, if you're tired of the nigger hanging in your front yard? Hang him in the back.

What do you call two Asian guys driving around the countryside in an orange car?

Gooks of Hazzard

kek

My gf called me a pedophile the other day. That's a damn big word for a 9-year-old.

WTF? my grandfathers wife’s child was accidentally shot by a guy out on patrol who had a guard fall out of a watchtower on him.

The real version:
I have no problem with black people. In fact I have one in my family tree. He's hanging out front.

What do you call an empty bottle of Lysol in the ditch? Indian Artifact
What do you call a full one? Rare Indian Artifact

The best thing about 28 yo girls is that there are 20 of them.

...

I think we made a meme with this whole nigger fell out of the tower

WHAT WAS WORSE THAN THE RAPE OF NANKING?
THE PUSSY FART OF NANKING AFTERWARDS

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke.

Dam son.

What's the difference between extortion and rape?
>the way you spell the word "mail"

...

White guy decides to start a mining business.
He decides to hire homeless people for cheap labor and to give them a chance at making something of themselves.
He drives around and finds three he thinks will be perfect, one Asian, one Black, and one Mexican.
He drops them off at the mine, and gives them each a job.
He tells the black man he is in charge of maintaining the equipment, the Mexican is in charge of shoveling the ore, and the Asian is in charge of supplies.
The white man then leaves for a week and comes back.
He finds out the Mexican jumped over a property fence and got arrested and the Black guy is half-assed working and near death.
White guy asks Black man where the Asian is and why aren't there any supplies, Black man shrugs.
White guy goes looking for Asian man and as he is walking around the corner of one of the mining sheds the Asian jumps out of a bush and yells "SUPPLIES!".

...

why do jews have such large noses?

Air is free