Wake up in the lucky country

>wake up in the lucky country
>beautiful 26 degrees, not a cloud on the sky
>big breakie of scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages and a fresh coldie
>have a ciggie afterwards whilst doing the crossword
>walk down to the shops in my thongs and fishermans pants and another beer
>grab snags and more shit to eat and drink
>BBQ with mates while watching some national sporting event wwith public holiday that we have every few months
>get gradually more and more wasted. Sloppy shag with the woman. Wander as a group out for cricket or basketball or something
>fall asleep in a puddle of contented safety, knowing all the shit in the world will reach us last and be diluted to fuck
>chuck a sickie the next day and spend it smoking bongs and playing dota

Bitch at us all you like. Australia is fucking easymode. Pajeets and Chinamen are pretty much all our non-whites and they would be 30% of cities and fuck all elsewhere. Heaps of annual leave and healthcare sorted and no interest on student loans.

I couldnt give a fuck what Sup Forums autists think our reputation should be for. I'm too busy getting a blowjob from your american dream.

Other urls found in this thread:

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Hush, prison type.

I have to admit this pasta is fucking shit and this country is going to hell in a handbasket because of dumb cunts like this.

shh don't tell them.

it's going to hell in a handbasket because mass immigration has decimated the value of a human life.

fuck foreigners to death.

got sucker punched by a couple of lebs
otherwise fantastic day

It's fucking freezing out, and you're wearing a thong? Fucking animal

>no interest on student loans.
what cunt. Its 7.5% once you earn over $42,000 p/year.

OP is exactly right if you DON'T live in a capital city. The only time we see the retards is Christmas, Easter and long weekends. Otherwise it's a wog free environment 99% of the time and none of that lefty drivel they pump out of the tv ever gets near us unless you watch the ABC.

How dare you use such language "hell in a handbasket".. you Cunt!

How the fuck does anyone survive on less than $100K

A real Australian would say "ripping billies".
This guy is fake

Easy. Don't live in a city.

they don't. that's why people on welfare are still criminals.

>billies

fuck I hate that word so much. it's always been a bong. a billy is for boiling water stupid gutter youth.

>my dad calls it a bilson wilson because he knows it makes me want to slap him

There is no interest on the actual loan you fucking drungo. It's indexed with inflation, it's not a traditional loan like what Amercian have.

You simply pay it out of your weekly pay check. I'm making 55k a year and it only comes out if I do over time (pushes me over the limit so I'm not if if that 42k figure is correct. Unless it's not in affect yet?

Anyway that's a good thing. It will make cunts with useless degrees pay their shit back.

Sure is a lot of chinks and poos moving in around this part of Brisbane lately. Do we trust ABS statistics and ignore the browning of our country?

The (((chief statistician))) for the Australian government would say there is definitely no demographic shift.

I lived on Centrelink while at Tafe. I had about $500 a fortnight.

200 for renting a room
100 I put away for bills
Then the rest was for food and whatever.

Now I work full-time I live on about 1k a fortnight. The rest gets put in savings and I rent a unit in the city (Perth so not Sydney or Melbourne tier pricing) so it's easily done. Most my money gets spent on escorts so if I had a cheap girlfriend I'd be a rich cunt.

It's cute you guys are still in the "-ie" phase...cute.

Was in in Capricornia region for work a while back. Even regional city areas like Rockhampton, Emerald, Yeppoon are probably 10-20% Asian, Indian or Islamic because multinational corporations just bring in cheap foreign labour and they wind up staying.

>Have women in combat roles in the Army
>Highest skin cancer rate sin the world so cant go outside and enjoy the sun
>Poisonous jelly fish in the water, cant enjoy the surf in the tropics
>Taxes out the ass
>Cant afford a house unless you are a millionaire
>Smoking gives you cancer

>Sun burn your skin
>Spider bite your ass
>Pajeet shit in ur streets
>No jiggling without helmet

No, thanks..

Can somebody translate this?

>Dota
Lel noob

Student centrelink is like 650 a fortnight. Why were you on newstart?

Stingrays, dingos, emus, snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks, scorpions, triffids, and those creepy rapists that bushwhack campers.
Life in the wasteland must be...competitive?

I lost my virginity in a hotel room on the freeway between frankston and mornington. Good times.

>knowing all the shit in the world will reach us last and be diluted to fuck

actually the pitcairn islands are probably the last bolthole in the event of ww3, either that or Antarctica. Aus and NZ are strategically important for controlling the pacific.

>beautiful 26 degrees, not a cloud on the sky
Sounds horrid. I've had naught but that in California and the situation is dire.

>and those creepy rapists that bushwhack campers.

If you're blonde, good looking and foreigner and you agree to get 'shown around' by some random cunt in a ute in the outback then you deserve to be raped and carved up.

>mfw an ausfailian ate kangaroo, polished his brass razoo, was a whacker, spent quid at an op shop, opened his lunch, cracked a fatty, got clucky when watching gay porn, played aerial pingpong, was evicted from his unit, earbashed some young lady, had a gut full of piss, sucked an icey pole, had a ripper moment, had shonky habits, stood out like the dogs nuts, whacked his donger with vegemite, acted like a shiela, drank a butcher of piss, gorged himself on tucker, was a crow eater, asked to blow a jackaroo, opened his bonnet and serviced his donk, soiled his nappy, pickled chook eggs, was cracking onto his mate, licked a loose meat sandwich, ate from his mates clacker, told a furph, wrestled crocodiles, was a fatty boombah, bet on a dishlicker, was absolutely cunt struck, was raised by an ocker, shot a fairy from his brown eye, ogled at norks, cacked himself, pissed in his pocket, rolled on disco biccies, shagged a scrubba, failed miserably with the horn bags, was an unky jay, went troppo, smoked a chole, did horizontal folkdancing with a bird on the bleed, had no wuckas, blew his bum chum, kissed a rock ape's map of tassie, sunk piss, hated a pommy bastard, wore a two-bob hat, threw things on a barbie, and drove upside down near me

You forget to mention tiny deadly medusas

>breakie
>ciggie
>sickie
Nobody likes you. Honestly we all can't stand you but we pretend to because we're polite.

I'm getting taxed round 55% personal income, and getting what back for it? Muh roads?
Melbourne is Little-Somalia, Most of Sydney is full of leftists, marxists or saracens.
Our government is full of cuckolds.
Most of our agricultural land will be owned by China in 25 years.

What world are you living in LarpOP? 55k is basically minimum wage.

Toss all the brownies in the sea and have them eaten by sharks.

>blew his bum chum

Too bad we are full

...

This.

I moved to Tasmania, basically white flight, because of how fucked this shit is.
Now it's hard to ever see a non-white, but how fucking long is that gonna last?

Our Government is as cucked as the UK. We're getting fucked over.

>saracens.
ahahahaha why can't we meet in real life this is so depressing

mate I would buy you more than one beer

>full
>other 93% of the land still unoccupied

Excuse me?

Youth allowance is 445ish a fortnight and then you can get a rent certificate that puts you over 500. Which was what I was on.

i have some aussie industry friends and those guys are the definition of sick cunts.

i've liked every ausfag i've met. really good people.

We're the most heavily urbanised nation on earth and in our biggest population centre, we're outgunned. Pic related.

While you consider the ethnic composition of Sydney, consider that Westmead Hospital serves ONE QUARTER of NSW's population and 7% of the AUSTRALIAN population.

Now consider that the most common surnames in the primary catchment area for Westmead are Lee (Chinese), Patel and Nguyen.

We're fucked.

Drive 10 minutes out of Alice Springs or Broken Hill and tell me how livable that land is to the average joe. The cities and coastal areas are pretty fucking full and that's the only cheap, livable land we have.

Australian cities and NZ's north island are both utterly lost causes.

This board is a shithole, this thread is trash, OP is a faggot and Australia isn't even a real country.

>What world are you living in LarpOP

Terrigal NSW

Go live in the Pilbara you daft cunt

Isn't that a retirement village, looks nice.

>aussiespeak

what? are those all real words? you made those up, right? yeah. those are definitely fake.

>walks outside
>grabs paper at end of driveway
>immediately killed by shark and eaten by a lion size spider
>police show up to denigrate your corpse following a yearlong investigation into your refusal to use proper pronouns
>your 87% tax rate funded this $3.5 million dollar investigation
>eulogy at your funeral turns into a sermon on how the rights of sodomites are a national priority
>average day in Australia

FTFY

Really? They've always been so god-damned anti-American when I met them. For example, I'm in a hostile and the Australian guy IS ALWAYS the fucker to be like:
>China will overtake you
>nobody likes America
>you are racist
>you are sexist

I travel a lot and I am absolutely DONE with Australians. They are the biggest fucking California faggots I have ever met. TO A MAN

Australia is a fucking leftest nanny state which makes your tough bloke attitude fucking gay.

Wtf

>wake up in the lucky country
>beautiful -15, sky looks good, snow later
>big breakfast of scrambled eggs, back bacon, English muffins and a beer
>have a smoke afterwards while taking a shit
>walk to the store in just a jacket 'cause it ain't too cold
>buy some chips and dip and a two-four
>grill some burgers and watch the hockey game, Leafs suck but it's the monthly stat holiday so fuck it bud
>get fucked and hit on some silly bitches, back to the store for another case of beer
>pass out on the couch knowing I can call in sick tomorrow, no biggie, shit's easy
>call in sick like I decided to last night and smoke all day while playing dota

Meme all you want, Canada is fucking easymode. Pakis and Chinks are pretty much all our non-whites and they're 30% of cities (except Toronto, but fuck those guys) and fuck all elsewhere. Shitloads of time off and healthcare and we can ignore student loans forever.

See? I can do it, too. Doesn't mean the bitch ain't fucked.

>Be coon
>wonder why white cunt won't give you smoke

nice job leaf but aussies call beer fosters, you failure

>WE
>LIVE
>IN A WORLD
>WHERE
>THAT
>IS
>CONSIDERED
>HUMAN
>WHAT THE FUCK MATE

>hottest 100 number 1 is nigger music

>listening to triple gay

Fuck off seppo.

Foster's is a shithouse beer that we only meme so fucking Yank and Pom backpackers don't drink all our good stuff while they're out here fucking the Swedish backpackers and getting murdered in the outback

Tuned in to hear the top 5, number 2 was alright but number 1 was a joke.

sure.... it is you filthy leaf.

Meeting an Australian is like meeting somebody from California.

Your entire country is like California. You all hate the United States yet have no idea how fast you would be raped and pillaged if America didn't exist.

Seriously your travelers and expats have made me and many other Americans completely despise Australians. We all hope you get raped and replaced by China.

I fucking hate you guys. I really mean it.

this ones an odvious leaf, do not give him attention, leafs feed on attention.

I downloaded CP whats the rules on that in Australia?

Good job user.
How was your arse the next day?

> t. Californian

What’s a shark?
In Australia we call them landlords, unless you’re a noodle armed Melbourne cuck then a landlord is Mr Chang

Can you give us a link to your all-soy youtube cooking channel?

you fucking wish, original colonies all the fucking way, pressurving the liberties for which we stand and the rules on which we were founded.

wanker

How are they wrong? You strike me as a total sad cunt

I think that they don't want you to do that,

forgot link youtu.be/YqvNYfeaYuI

...

Where the fuck in Perth are you getting $100/w rent?

>55% tax
get a fucking accountant you shitcunt

Are you saying most Australians have access to a means of food production? because they don't.

Gang Of Youths number 2
>GOY

>26 degrees, no clouds in the sky

fucking dropped.
Warm countries are all absolute horrid shit.
Maximum allowed temperature is 18 degrees to be a functioning country.
The other stuff I can do here too, hell an american can probably even do that without issue.

Een warm land is maar 1 letter verwijderd van arm land.

180k+ bracket +GST +Vehicle/fuel taxes. I need more than an accountant, I need to move my money offshore. But then how would the leftyniggers pay for their arts degrees?

>Being a weak cunt
Melbourne temps aren't even that extreme as well

its 41 where i live tomorrow, 26 is perfect

Hottest 100 was shit. Gang of Youths is shit. Kendrick Lamar is shit. Only gay cunts vote on that shit.

>weak cunt

Nigger, no matter how cold it gets I never feel troubled by it.
Temperatures should range between -10 to 20.

Anything above that is a nigger tier country.

Can you show us the dirt pit your government burned all your guns in?

Come to Chicago I'll buy both of you fucking queers a beer. Swear to God.

sounds awesome except for the skin cancer
jealous of the car scene (except those fucked up donk-esque simmons wheels)
Keep it up partner

You do sound like a weak cunt. It gets hot and cold here, perfectly liveable.

I don't drink.

Your image was outdated about 2 decades ago
Nowadays this is what usually happens

The cold seasons look good.
I just absolutely hate warm weather, since the sun makes people ugly.
You know, tans and such.

What horror movie is this from ?

we call em cones here mate

>the aussie fears the samurai

Does it bring you to tears? Absolute cunts.

NSW police raid old mate collectors in the middle of nowhere and destroy rifles held by light cavalry in Egypt during the first world war... They don't give a shit, the grubs.

why do aussies post this pic, what did they mean by this