Im in Cuba

Im in Cuba.

What do?

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Find out if they call those sandwiches Cubans there too.

build a raft out of an old door and go someplace better

First get a Nice JINETERA..... And her sister too

Smoke a cigar of course.

have a (You)

Tell everybody that Castro sucks

good thinking

Soon bro

Obligatory cuban cigars muh niguh

teach them about xenu

viva la capitalist revolution

raid the capital and kill raul castro and the rest of the commie dictators

Only by cigars from government authorized shops. All the other cigars are mostly hair and dirt they sweep off the floor to sell to retard tourists.

this will probably get moved to

Get some rum, user.

Rum is a better companion for a good cigar than beer.

your brain is giving off too much heat I gotta take it off

Obtain tits!

Hurry, find the nearest Faraday cage before they zap your brain.

nice ass dildo
did you come to cuba to drink milk?

Looks A E S T H E T I C

Ask the natives if they are aware of the JQ

Are any of your family members from cuba?

>What do?

fuck Cubanas

QUICK SAVE THE FLAG BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE GUYS

Go eat a ham sandwich. They're a delicacy in Cuba.

what is there to do in cuba? seems like an odd place to travel to.

You can fuck cubans for shampoo or soap. Seriously and they are highly educated college graduates.

Take a boat ride down here so we can go out and have a few beers.

It's popular here in leafland

Poo in the street, see if anyone cares

>Poo in the street
>get thrown in Cuban jail

$1,016 for 6 days includes air ticket

Christ, I didn't know it was so god damn cheap to travel there

How do you have internet

Question is: how does Mexico have internet? Shouldn't you be mowing my lawn?

>get thrown in Cuban jail
become cuban trained doctor

LOL i have been to that resort.

Your in verideros.

Too bad its' hard as fuck to get cuban pussy where your staying LOL

even if you head into town, there are a fuck ton of policia. Should have stayed Airbnb.
Then the police look at you as a local and you can fuck all the cuban pussy you want.

Too bad the cruise ships were allowed to dock in cuba. Drove the price of pussy up double.

I could get an absolute dime piece (think model, tall thin, so beautiful you can't stop looking at her) for no more than 50US. Now...the starting rate is 75 for average and 150 for those same dime pieces. and that's an hour!

where i would pay 50USD for all night, just two years ago.

Fucking americans' and those god damn cruise ships...fucking obama. Asshole.

Jintera's are now almost the same price as miami.

Sucks to be honest.

Get microwave baked by barely audible soundwaves

not any more you can't. That was 15-20 years ago.
And cubans are very white.

There are towns with blond haired blue eyed cuban girls. Whitest girls you have ever seen. (dutch colonized certain parts of cuban back in the day)

Internet is usually found in town squares, that you must buy off the nearest hotel, They take your name down and put it on the "ticket" which gives you a password to get on.

If your in a hotel, hotels usually have internet in the lobby.

You are definitely 12 years old

no i am 48 and live in grand cayman, which is only a 35 min flight away from cuba, dicknose.

This

>I could get an absolute dime piece (think model, tall thin, so beautiful you can't stop looking at her) for no more than 50US. Now...the starting rate is 75 for average and 150 for those same dime pieces. and that's an hour!

that's pretty much the same price as in the US

shitty

is it possible to interact with local girls that aren't prostitutes?

yes
But unless you speak spanish, they won't be interested in you.

Because for years a gringo has been a sex tourist there.

But last time i went, oh my fucking god. It was before the cruise ships hit cuba.

I went to a club "le maison" with two other guys. One guy who was 44, his uncle was 75.
Walk in the club, 250 people in this club, 200 are girls. As i walk in the girls are STARING. Like i mean, laser death stares but in a good way. as i brush past them to get to the bar, they are grabbing my shirt, my ass, ect (im a normal looking dude). Basically with a 3 second eye fuck you could have any girl you wanted. *3 second eye fuck is looking into a girls eyes 1 sec, 2, sec, 3 sec...she will slide on over to you and go Hola.

Beers were one cuban cuc. (one dollar US). And by the end of the night. I had 4 girls grinding me (competing who would take me home) and even the 75 year old dude had a 24 year old straddling him grinding!!!!! I just yelled out to no one "THIS IS HOW A MAN SHOULD ALWAYS BE TREATED"

cuba was before the cruise ships...the...fucking..best

One other story

There was an 18 year old girl just down the street from my place (i stay at a real house) so i get treated like a local, no bother from the policia.
Anyways, i let me dick get the better of me, went right up to her and said, come to my place i will give you 40bucks. She dropped what she was doing right then and there and went "si" (yes)

i fucked her. After that. i came back a second time to cuba, (about 3 months later) just for a week. I bought her a 75 dollar phone and gave her 75 bucks. She stayed with me for a week. I shagged her morning noon and night. The last 3 days, her MOTHER brought her over to my place, knowing full well her pumpkin was going to stay the night and i had the mothers blessing!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, how awesome was that. Soon as the mother left, she rips at my zipper and starts blowing me on the couch. And i was 44 at the time. Cuba was awesome before the cruise ships came.

relax get some cigars rum and women

can you comp me a price on trinidad fundadores and cohiba behike 52

...

Literally smoke, drink, and play dominos. A great time to be had

t. Cuban

Have a cigar, some local rum, watch the guys at the car repair shops work their magic on some '52 Ford or Chevy,

I live in Miami might as well be Cuba. Cubans are the rudest people alive. Careful what you say on the internet. They are monitoring you.

get attacked by a sonic sound weapon

you are right. in that particular all inclusive the op posted. you must buy your internet on tickets. Just like the town square.

I hope you jazzed in her pissy user

that sounds awesome, I've wanted to go to Cuba for awhile but haven't got around to it. Sounds like it's ruined now by tourists.

cool story bro

get the most expensive escort you can afford, take pics of her and post them

Yes it is ruined.

I mean, I am sure if you get farther away from havana. You might experience the cuba of old.

But havana is ruined by those fucking cruise ships.


You see, most tourist go to all inclusives. the police have heavy presence around those towns and keep the tourists away from the girls.

If a tourist is caught with a cuban girl, even walking with her. He is asked for ID and she is asked for ID.
if you cannot prove she is your GF. Cop will ask you questions. Hope you know spanish.

then she get carted off to pay a fine.

Now, if you do Airbnb, in havana. or know of houses to rent. Before the cruise ships you could go, and i have been there many MANY times and never saw one police. And the cubans treated me like a cuban until i opened my mouth and spoke really shitty spanish. then they were polite, but knew i was a tourist.

Now with the cruise ships coming into havana. the police are by the trainstation (by the docks) and around that area, making sure no tourists are seen with cuban girls.

And the cuban girls are now making big bank off the tourists, 150 an hour.

So, unless you get away from havana. Your paying shitty US of A prices for pussy.

And are the cuban girls hot? Yes....so hot infact. that there has been times were a girl has stopped me in my tracks and forces you to stare. as she's come out from a building. because some of them are AMAZINGLY hot.

And in cayman I dont' stare at any girls, even the hot ones. Because they do not come close to the cuban girls

Imagine girls with jet black hair, and white skin, pale.

youtube.com/watch?v=qRp3-D3SMwI

example of average cuban girls (and yes, if you party at a club called "el passion") (10 dollar cover charge). you can fuck these girls. that look like this or better

Before the cruise ships. these girls went for 50 USD all night

find ana de armas and post timestamp

wait. are you drinking milk and a beer? thats more disgusting than milk and oj

This

Cuban pork is the shizznit mayne. Find some, stat.

The shit you want is called Cuban mojo pork roast

Sort yourself out my friend

K.

what is there to sort out, i am having the time of my life.

I am single have a ton of money. Whats the problem?

fpbp

What I meant is you're not supposed to pay for sex with cuban girls. I have been to Cuba at least 20 times over the past 10 years and never pay for sex. Learn spanish and work on yourself. Again, you're not supposed to pay

Find Elian Gonzalez and execute him

I would hump the nearest brown colored thing I could find.

Chug a bottle of havana club and fuck Che Guevara's corpse.
Buy a shirt and a pack of cigars.
You know, normal tourist shit.

Poo in the sink

Shut it. You are lying.

why would you fugg cheap hookers if you nigga rich, nigga?

move to Manhattan or Tel Aviv and shag all the finest khazar milkin non-shiksas your pesos can buy

I live in a tropical paradise. And you suggest moving to shitty new york. Hahahaha. Shut up. You moron

start a revolution

Send me a box of Cohibas. I'll provide a POBox

>mosquito hellhole
>sameface natives
>paradise

>black chick drinking milk
He better fuck her fast before she diarrhea's all over the bed.

Fucking soyboys

all i'm sayin is step up yo game buoy and dont be a jew.

splurge nigga, splurge!

also, tel aviv is heaven for high-end sex tourism (a subtropical paradise + filthy khazar milkers)

You have never been here

isnt cayman like detroit (80% nonwhite)?

HOLY SHIT BTFOO

You damn well they don't have food.

I'd visit the ladies of white , a group of catholic nuns that have been living in near jail conditions an blocked from living since the 50's but chances are that they will keep you there if you get too close

>milk and beer
I hate you and hope you will die in a fire