Your life sucks, right?

Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here! I can help with that! I'll grant you one (1) wish, and in addition to being granted your hearts' desire, you'll also receive INCREDIBLE magic power. In exchange, you'll be obligated to fight supernatural creatures known as "witches," in defense of mankind. You'll be among comrades, though, and I'm confident that you can handle it! Do we have a deal?

Other urls found in this thread:

fanfiction.net/s/11928613/1/Magical-Girl
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>Do we have a deal?
I just wanna be loved

Failed normalfag please, don't project your insecurity onto me. The only problem I have with my current situation is that normalfags and failed normalfags like you post on Sup Forums more than they should.

I wish to posses all abilities and items of the caster class servant Medea as shown in Fate Stay Night

so long sucker

Retroactively remove me from existence. Less entropy from me, good for you, no need to hear another magical girl bitching, it's a steal.

Important clarification, can I fight these witches with my dick?

Is that your wish?

With a risk of losing your head

Reminder that the "witches" are other fat virgins from this thread who had their soul crystal corrupted.

Well if it's good enough for praying mantis and spiders, then it must be worth the risk

>implying that Kyuubei would waste its time contracting with a boy

OK. I wish for one billion more wishes.

Try again, friendo

But you said wish for anything? Going back on your promises? But, fine, I wish for your whole shitty maho no shisha species to be erased from existence without any chance of coming back.

>Kyubey: Woooooow, why do these humans always complain about the contracts? I mean, they don't ASK about all the terms of service BEFORE accepting the legally binding contract. Gooooooood, why are all these middle school girls that don't have the legal capacity to accept create or accept contracts under US law so STUPID.

Fuck off shark.

>implying that you have the power to pull off a wish that huge

>muh US law
Argument invalid

Nigga, there's mahou girls around the world.

Would you say you are dealing in good faith from my perspective, excluding the impact of my own lack of knowledge, and given the assumption that I am a selfish person?

If so, we just might have a deal.

>be American mahou
>get shot

US law doesn't mean shit.

So what's the average life expectancy for these "magical power people"?

I guarantee you that every last letter of this contract is in good faith and will be executed without surprise alterations, exactly as stated in the terms above. We fully understand that humans are generally selfish creatures, but any burdens caused by the selfish nature of any wish you might make are not our responsibility.

kek
What do you mean?

Question: Will "Witches" always be called as such?

I wish for an incorruptible indestructible soul gem.

I wish anime was real

Could I ask to become entirety of the Incubator race?

Seems reasonable. I will have a tuna sandwich, then, thanks.

Incubators are above the law, and can most likely summon enough power to override any feasible force the government could muster to enforce it. If the US government ever tried to interfere with the incubators, the country would end up being a slave state to them or worse.

The name "Witches" was assigned by the magical girls themselves, and will probably remain so for a while unless someone comes up with a snazzy new nickname.

t. Kyuubey

I wish for a bigger dick

I wish you'd fuck off.

I wish for all of Sup Forums to become fustrated christmas cakes.

>become a potato

I wish I could turn other magic girls suffering into damage to my body.

Why

Hardcore M. I like it.

>turning a bunch of lolis into old hags
So this is a villain worse than kyuubey, huh?

What is the most monkey's paw-proof wish?

Happiness. No matter what the result is, you'll like it.

How?

having a 100% unbreakable soulgem has a cost. nothing is free. the only way a soul gem is un-corruptible is if you're literally too potato'd to feel the emotion of despair. enjoy the lobotomy.

Can you kill me instantly/painlessly and make everyone forget that I ever existed?

about 350 yen

i wish i was never born
monkey paw that shit

Meh already a potato with no feelings. At least im immortal. Thanks QBay.

>Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here!

Wrong. I post here with my friends, we shitpost in threads about shows we don't watch while doing drugs.

>what is apathy

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Open your eyes. This isn't a secret club anymore. It's something normalfags participate in too.

What can you do with 350Y?

nice strategy, assuming other magic girls will feel gratitude and help you

but you'll never get enough grief seeds to sustain yourself for very long even with help

Nothing. Y isn't a currency ¥ is. By that wish you'd get 350 letter Ys.

...

What if you wished for Superman/Greed invincibility?

>Be magical boy in a city of magical girls
would this situation lead to you being the harem king, or the harem slave?

exactly what I've always wanted!

Wish granted
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Now get to fucking work.

>>implying that Kyuubei would waste its time contracting with a boy
fanfiction.net/s/11928613/1/Magical-Girl

I wish that I could turn back time.

Homura pls

City fucktoy

>fanfiction.net/s/11928613/1/Magical-Girl
Sup Forums's current state.

What weapons and powers do I get?

Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't all wishes doomed to fail? Think he said something like that in ep 11

They only fail because you didn't think them through enough or weren't strong enough to carry them out. Kyubey dindu nuffin.

You get exactly what you wish for but it's subject to entropy it ain't free or conjured by magic the payment is you're inevitable spiral into despair and becoming a witch. It's just ironic that a Lot of peoples wishes actually aid the whole spiral thing.

I wish I had a sandwich.

>Kyubey contracts a girl
>Lawyers step in for flawed contract
>Entire season is just Magical Girls sitting in a court room while Kyubey and Lawyers argue it out
>Magical girls are sent after the witches... to bring them in as witnesses

The next Ace Attorney game sounds hardcore

Why does this exist? Why?

FUND IT

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But now the guilt is all mine

I'd wish to be able to control my fate and the fate of my comrades. As in having the ability to manipulate events to a degree where I can prevent a [BAD END] no matter what.

You get precognition. Don't abuse it.

What would have happened if Madoka wished to save Homura and they both had the exact same powers?

It's kind of vague how it works honestly
And of course he may just be bullshitting

>sandwich is poisoned
>someone you care about was killed somehow while preparing it
>receiving the sandwich triggers a series of unlikely events that results in the ruination of your life

A lie within a lie ;)

You get 20 seconds.

Being able to reverse time by 20 seconds whenever you wanted wouldn't be a bad ability

it's like the finale to Galaxy Quest

What is the most OP power?

I wish to be a super cute magical girl forever.

The plot can only work if there's already collusion between the governments and the incubators at least on the local level. Otherwise the clusters of missing girls would attract attention from various law enforcement agencies. Eventually they'll find a magical girl willing to talk. This was even more true in the past, since many magical girls were royalty.

They'd power each other up until a witch capable of destroying the entire universe is created.

I'd like to be able to steal people's abilities and knowledges.

I want to steal people's hearts!

Probably works like Gen'ei where magical gurls and victims are literally erased from memories at the time of death.

If that's his "fail proof" defense then his entire species deserves genocide.

Well except that's clearly not the case

Most victims aren't mahou shoujo, they're people who got sucked into barriers and those are usually ruled as suicides. Also, it's not like most witches come from magical girls, I'd wager that most are grown from escaped familiars that the mahou shoujo don't hunt down because they want their grief seeds.

I want to be able to stay hard and cum for however long I choose.

I don't ever want to see a Penis Witch thank you very much. That Labyrinth would look like Geiger and Freud's dreamscapes smoked PCP.

Somewhere out there there's probably a labyrinth that looks exactly like that, though

Only girls need easy ways, a men need will power and bravery to make dreams come true. So you know, don't be faggot qubei, be men. Face your fate and be brave.