Have you ever wandered in the woods outside by yourself, user? What did you find / see?

Have you ever wandered in the woods outside by yourself, user? What did you find / see?

Pic related.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=wXzg0D-cKds
wbrc.com/story/37424646/blount-co-police-searching-for-missing-sickly-woman-does-not-have-oxygen-tank-with-her
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3019762/Missing-Missouri-girl-13-850-miles-home-New-Mexico-kidnapped-55-year-old-man-met-Facebook.html
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HeAlTh At EvErY sIzE

You’re a fucking dick

10/10 american hottie

At least I'm not a leaf.

If she's 4'8" and 300 pounds then she couldn't have gotten far without getting winded and collapsing.

56" tall
>le cent quarante-deux cm
300 pounds.
63.7 BMI

Probably wandered out the backdoor so Jamal can do a little B&E through her backdoor if you understand what I am saying. She probably had a heart attack that was mistaken for climactic release. Jamal then pulled out then broke out.

Plus the added need for oxygen. Hell, I'm impressed it has managed to waddle out of sight of the backdoor.

she can't have come very far

>300lbs
>Three hundred fucking pounds

Jesus fucking christ

>in need of continual oxygen
>absolute state of Fatmerica

Christ that BMI puts it perspective. Not that 4'8"/300 lbs didn't already lol

>4'8" and 300 pounds
did you check the country buffet?

>she is missing
Well, she couldn't have run far.

Christ lads, I fucked up, it should be 67.3 BMI.

Aliens probably mistook her for cattle to mutilate

>left oxygen tank when she slipped out the back door

wait WTF?
did she just escape from her feeder parents like those 13 kids?

>4'8
>300 lbs

well she couldn't have gone far and I highly doubt anyone could kidnap even if they wanted to. Probably killed herself or some shit.

not much man its the fucking woods

>Probably killed herself or some shit.

>Suicide by taking a walk

I'll admit, it's a noble suicide.

>4'8
>300lb
>needs constant oxygen
Nothing of value is lost.

>A hog desired to return to its natural woodland habitat
Wtf is the problem here?

kek that would actually be a interesting story. Fleeing from your parents who are trying to food murder you. At that size she is obviously not making her own meals.

>300lbs
>brown eyes
Nothing of value as lost.

Checked

has he checked a sumo arena in Japan? She might fit in there

I would check the Old Country Buffet.

She's visiting her nogfriend. Pic related.

She's not at Benihana.

is Kirby gonna be OK?

>when she slipped out the back door
how drunk do you have to be to not hear a 300 pound midget with emphysema thundering out your back door?

youtube.com/watch?v=wXzg0D-cKds

Troll. She's too thin.

She must have heard an ice cream truck.

who will pay for her health care? muh free health care naow!

What in the actual living fuck?

>4'8
>300 pounds
>Brown hair and eyes
Quintessentially American

I found no one and saw a saw in the sawmill

took me almost 30 seconds to figure out what position that blob is laying in. her anatomy is truly a disaster

Ultra kek. Fatty McLardo's Day in the Woods

"I'm just going outside and may be some time, Old Country Buffet is open and I have money to pay."

>4'8", 300lbs

holy shit

...

BMI is almost 70, what the actual fuck?

300lbs?

let us pray she wasnt wearing a leather vest...she could be mistaken for a bear and shot on site.

Nothing more than wasp nests

Unless going downhill.

This. She could be rolling all the way down to Florida.

Hornets are more common in some areas

This. Or she got to a sea and became a manatee

Slipped out the back door and kept rolling?

Still missing with more than 1400 shares on Facebook.

...

'Celebrate with caaake'

>4'8"
>300lbs
Sweet Jesus that thing is a literal sphere.

She "slipped" out of the backdoor...
But there is really something fishy on that story,
sounds like she wanted to flee.

Serious question, how does one get this fucking fat ? You have to be doing it on purpose, i'm surprised that this obese gnome was even able to slip out of the backdoor.

I agree, 21 yrs old, 4'8", 300lbs, needs oxygen AND just randomly walks off? I smell abuse.

Maybe she met someone online? Who knows these days. It says the father is a very popular local radio host. The mother was out of town at the time, child is 'special needs'

Cannot tell if that is real or some next level trolling.

>300 lbs
>slipped out the back door

She's probably in the back yard still.

Big Mama wants the wedding cake

>in need of continual oxygen
Good thing you can find that shit in the air pretty much anywhere

Why do you have that saved?

Worse. You're a burger.

Ehehehe.gif

>300lbs
>Slipped out the backdoor

She is round. Ergo, she rolls. You losers with legs btfo.

I like to go out into the woods when it is snowy, but with The Groke/Mårran/Mörkö out (see OP) I am afraid. Should I get a hunting license and a blunderbuss?

>4'8
>300lbs
These numbers aren't adding up
>pic related what she might look like

This thread is a true kek generator

She's still missing, how can that be?

wbrc.com/story/37424646/blount-co-police-searching-for-missing-sickly-woman-does-not-have-oxygen-tank-with-her

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3019762/Missing-Missouri-girl-13-850-miles-home-New-Mexico-kidnapped-55-year-old-man-met-Facebook.html

>300lbs
>Slipped out the backdoor

We just need to figure out who greased the back door and we'll have our culprit!

I'm thinking something more like pic related

fucking potential energy mate

Can't we all just be grateful that we're not that hideous thing in OP?

Or Jose. They like leftovers, too.

Probably because noone even bothered looking for her once they realized how much easier life was with her gone

>We stealin' all yo wimminz, white boi!

Oops. Wrong missing fatass. What's wrong with you burgers?

I'm sorry I clicked on that.

You got me dude. Lol.

Kek

>The FBI in Kansas City searched Hannah's phone and computer and discovered that she had been carrying on a relationship with Vallia for several months over social media.
I wonder how much Zuckerberg gets paid.

A fucking oxygen tank, this shit is unheard of in Europe.

What is with the pic, OP? You saying you found her?

Are you implying her dead body is in the woods?

This girl would probably be pretty cute if she wasn't fucking 300 pounds

Honestly I feel bad for her. Her parents probably fed her soda as a baby. Truly fucked from the start.

Don't be so presumptuous user. maybe they left a bucket of lard a little too close to the hamplanet and she accidentally got greased feeding herself and literally slid out the door.

I fucking keked out loud lmao

fucker probably collapsed and died in the back yard after hyperventilating

my fucking sides m8

Probably mistaken as bear.

That's the case with most women. Honestly, living in this country is just depressing; being surrounded by lardos really fucks with your standards for beauty so that even a moderately thin woman stands out like a shining diamond in a sea of shit.

Let us hope not! I wish not the stink shooting her would cause to any hunters nose.

Story updated

>found safe, no details

That really tickles the almonds.

hogs aren't native to the USA user
go exterminate her

She is disabled. Her size and weight point to it as well a oxygen tank. Why was this thread made?