Anyone know of a way to hide your money? Like say I get married and I've got a hundred grand to my name...

Anyone know of a way to hide your money? Like say I get married and I've got a hundred grand to my name, but I want my wife to think I have 5 grand, so if I get divorced she gets half of that 5 grand. Without committing tax evasion or doing anything illegal. I live in the US.

Put 100,000 in cash into a shoebox. Hide shoebox.

hide 95k it inside rectum

Would that work? The IRS wouldn't notice that you have more money than you should have if you buy something expensive?

Buy buttcoin
Pay for things with buttcoin after divorce

Offshore accounts

Well, the only time it would matter is in the case that your wife divorced you and the divorce isn't settled yet. Don't buy anything big until the divorce is over. But really, the IRS isn't going to tell your ex wife about it, they don't give a shit.

Isn't that technically tax evasion?

You go buy a fine work of art, protect it with plastic, and throw it in a storage unit you pay for every month. Or gold and you do the same. Or any small item that worth money that you can hide somewhere without her ever knowing.

Buy Monero?

Prenup

Brainlet

Sign a prenuptial agreement duh

Marriage (and specifically the divorce) is the mechanism by which Jews guarantee white men can never accumulate money. NEVER marry ANYONE for ANY reason.

Buy a 2nd house in Europe,if she leaves you, you live there with a girlfriend. If your wife stays with you tell her about this new cheap vacation home you bought that you want to live your old fag lives in.

Buy gold n burry it

Monero

Even though OP's a fag, here's how to properly nuke a failing marriage.
Withdraw cash. Lots of it. Stash it somewhere safe, but not somewhere stupid like a safe deposit box with your fucking name on it.

When she confronts you about it, claim a gambling addiction.
After a few months of arguing, while still pulling out as much cash as you can every week, reluctantly agree to therapy and marriage counseling. If you’re Chad, fuck the marriage counsellor.

Randomly disappear for several days at a time. Go to Vegas (or whatever Eurocucks have) and fuck hookers, and put the hotel room on your credit card. Apply for as many joint credit cards as you can, and max them as fast as possible in cash withdrawals.

When she finally runs away to her parent’s home for a few weeks, sell the furniture, the switch covers, the drapes, even the pots and pans. Continue to claim gambling addiction.
Take out a line of credit on the house. Withdraw it all in cash and hide that shit.
Hell, sell her used fucking dildos to some fat dike on Craigslist.
Anything you can get cash for, sell that shit.

Talk to your boss. Quit your job, but offer to work as a contractor through an LLC (that’s in a buddy’s name). Set up a separate bank account for that income, and immediately withdraw it all in cash every pay period.
Drag this shit out as long as you can (all the drama will cause her to be more invested in the marriage, not less), while converting EVERYFUCKINGTHING to cash.

When you finally divorce, there will be nothing to divvy up or fight over. What you’ll split is mountains of soul crushing debt. Sure, it’ll take a few years to get your life straight, but you’ll have a mountain of cash to ride out the storm, while she’ll have a room at her parent’s house and shittons of bills that she won’t deal with—which will fuck her life for the next decade.

Will be tossed by evety female ir beta male soyjudge.
They dont work in a gynofascist soziety.

ok.
talk to a lawyer, set up a trust

Use your money to buy assets, or put your money in investments

How about not marrying formally, duh ?

Open a bank account in an illegal aliens name

Nailed it. Threads over.

...

Create a revocable living trust, name your future kids or siblings or whoever as beneficiaries, grant the trust the money, name yourself as trustee, make sure you can purchase and spend money as yhe trustee sees fit for investment purposes.

Goto a lawyer get it set up and voila wife cant touch it since it isnt 'yours' but the trust's and all you can do is be a custodian of that money.

Key thing is you never have to tell your spouse about the trust ever as it literally doesnt concern her and was started before you married her.

>Like say I get married
There is the problem. Do NOT get married. Do NOT move in together.

this.

Cash.
Safety deposit box in your name only.

I retract my idea, this shit is cash.

If you're worried about the security of your funds from your future wife, maybe you shouldn't get married.

sorry man i'm not going to wait for the sex robots to reproduce. even if there were sex robots i'm not fucking them.

this.
Buy gold/silver and bury it.

By a good handheld gps by large abs pipe, 2 abs caps, some abs cement, and some dryerite. Place cash and dryerite in pipe cement and seal both ends, then bury and pin the location

Do Swiss bank accounts not work anymore? Or was this always a meme? Pls respond

too much paper trail - buried cash is the best way

this put a big smile on my face
thanks user

Gift the money to a trusted friend or family member, arrange for wife to have an "accident" and then go from there. Be wise to pay off your accomplice.

if she finds out you did this, there is your divorce. just don't marry her.

This. Marriage is for life if you're not a degenerate faggot. Divorce is a meme designed to destroy western civilization.

Capped for future threads

Prenup. If she doesn't agree don't marry her

This is the equivalent of running straight at a wall with your eyes closed. In the past you could hurdle it or maybe break through because its drywall but Jews and Feminists have rigged the game so hard the wall is fucking 10 feet high and made of brick and the women have the power to summon the wall at any moment. The best course of action for the average joe is to run and keep your eyes on your women at all time. If you are clever you setup a shotgun trap like and manage to come out half way decent.

Life isn't fair break the rules.

Holy shit that's brutal and effective.

This is golden and wonderfully devious, except working for a boss under an LLC listed under a friend's name - particularly if this is the same job you've had for years and she knows about it. Any halfway competent divorce lawyer will sniff this out in a second. You're much better off quitting, and working in any field that pays you under the table - preferably something she doesn't know about. Still, this could easily be discovered by a good divorce lawyer who hires a PI to tail you (way more common than you think). Tread very carefully there. And you'd be better off never sharing this plan with anyone - much easier said than done. Most crimes of a financial nature get uncovered due to loose lips.

Also this plan should be reserved for a wife that cheats on you.

Prenups aren't guaranteed to protect you. They can be waived by a judge for any reason, and they often are.

Get me in the screenshot

I already made one but I made another edit just for you.

>a good divorce lawyer
Here's a tip I forgot to include in my first post.
While doing the 'withdraw cash/make a Vegas papertrail' thing to establish your losses from gambling addiction (don't forget to claim those losses come tax time), also pay for a one hour consultation with the top 30 divorce attorneys in your city/area.
When she finally goes to lawyer up, none of them can be hired by her because of conflict of interest.

>except working for a boss under an LLC listed under a friend's name
You're right, I didn't think that through well enough.
Shit, the LLC could be in your name for all it matters; my idea was mostly to get your paycheck going into an account she can't make withdrawals from, before she caught on.
Just remember to pay your taxes on it, withdraw everything else in cash, and have enough receipts from Vegas to make the gambling addiction seem legit.
Hang out at casino bars when not banging whores, make friends with the bartenders, tell them your sad tale of losing your shirt every day you're there.

You do realize you lose assets in a divorce, not just money.

Jesus fucking Christ user, who fucked you over to think that up?

Seems like it'd be easy to fuck up somewhere in all those steps, and if she leaves you before you've planned you won't have any cash reserves, just debt.

As much as it pains me to agree with an anarcho capitalist . . .

>if she leaves you before you've planned you won't have any cash reserves, just debt.
Nope.

Leaving you ISN'T the same thing as a divorce, financially.
That debt is shared. And, if you were following my instructions, you'd already have possession of roughly 80% of that debt in cash.
That's why you go for taking out joint credit cards and home equity loans--it's all SHARED debt, to be divided in a divorce.
Of course, you clean out the checking and savings and investment accounts first, and as quietly as possible.

Also, don't "admit" gambling addiction for as long as you can; that's your pity ace in the hole. You keep a straight face as long as possible. Hell, send even her flowers once in a while, 'just because' while you're doing it.

Never forget that your only goal is to come out of the divorce less fucked than you would otherwise.

>Jesus fucking Christ user, who fucked you over to think that up?
My first fiancée was a Borderline.
I was young and stupid, and she fucked my brains out.
I got a bit (but not much) wiser by the time I was engaged to my second fiancée.
Took another huge hit on the chin the second time, and dodged.
Not at all my victory; she went (((observably))) insane before I fucked up and signed my life away.
Since then, I’ve been nothing but a lonely manwhore.
I don’t even remember the last time I fucked a broad who wasn’t a stripper, waitress, whore, Uber driver, cashier, or bartender.
My tale isn’t one you’d want to repeat.


But my best advice with chicks is to play dirty; play really fucking dirty because otherwise you will never win.

>gf goes full retard one day
>screaming, crying, breaking shit
>annoying and loud as fuck
>tell her to leave
>she attacks me
>kicking, punching, biting
>backhand the shit out of her and tell her to stop
>she goes into 'poor little girl' mode
>"I-I'm gonna tell the police you raped me and then you'll be sorry”
>take her phone away
>go downstairs and call police myself
>tell dispatcher my gf locked herself in the bathroom and is threatening suicide
>police arrive to screaming crying gf
>when one tells her to calm down she attacks him
>mfw

She got taken to the hospital and locked up for a 72 hour psych evaluation. Failed with flying colors and was put on a 30 day hold in a proper institution.
No one, not even her parents (her meltdown started because of an argument with her retarded mother over the phone) believed a single word out of her after that.

You need to move on. Because it sounds like you haven't and that's essentially letting them win.

The best revenge is to live well. No ifs or buts.

Hope it all works out for you. Been through similar shit and prospered. Eventually.

>screenshot

Fuck her before she gets the chance to fuck you.
>I wanna be a good mens, an sheeit.
Can't do that when you're writhing in pain, user.
Sell it. Sell it all.
Become the gambling addicted cunt.
Stick it in and break it off, like she wants.
"I-I'm your waifu, user!"
"Don't you love me, and want to pay for my shitty plumber boyfriend for the next 30 years?

Of course you do.
Nut in her bunghole anyway.

You'll love the way it feels.

>The best revenge is to live well.
Duh.
Just share the expense, instead of being a faggot who takes it up the ass.
>SHE DESERVES 50% OF YOUR INCOME FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS
She deserves dick.
Give her yours on a silver platter.

Post in biz

I can keep it for you in safe place.

Fucking kek'd my dood lmao nice!

This is good advice, though maybe not *all* of your money. Eggs, baskets and wot not.

Put it into a trust, of which you are the sole beneficiary. Then it isn't "your" property.

Or do cryptos and encrypt the drives they are on.

>what are privacy coins

Holy fuck this is evil...

What are they?

Gold bullion, 100k is like 2.5 kilos which really shouldn't be hard to hide or move.

Buy airline ticket to Las Vegas. Withdraw $100,000 while in Las Vegas. IRS will not question that.

Sharp divorce lawyer might find storage unit in your name

Agreed I couldn't even imagine my parents having any actual serious disagreements about money or about being married

>Holy fuck this is evil...

Not as evil as fucking a man out of his children and half his income for the next 30 years.

Talk to a good lawyer and spend the money to get a rock solid prenuptual agreement. Don't go cheap because it'll bite you in the ass.

buy a wife

>soyjudge
:D

buy your mother a house

>white men can never accumulate money
They seem to be doing just fine at hoarding it anyway.

What you are talking about is illegal you retard. Stop being a bitch and make her sign a prenup.

Good plan, but you have to get some more insurance. Be sure to sign up for AA, gamblers anonymous and other organizations like those and have those membership cards on you. Also you need to leave a paper trail, so go to a casino and actually gamble about 10-20% of the money you withdraw to have tangible proof of doing said act, while you stash all the rest. That way when the day comes for you to go to divorce court you can slap those cards on the table and just plea that you have a drinking/gambling addiction and were not in control of what you did, and immediately after the divorce file for bankruptcy so that the debt is paid via the house that she would be getting, essentially wiping off the debt and leaving the bitch homeless.

>Is there a way I can do something illegal without doing something illegal?

This, "give" the money to a family member you trust that will give it back to you later (in a fashion). Hiding it WILL give her more money when she leaves you, her private detectives or your best friend who she´s been fucking will tell her about it and then you are done.

Power nine and dual lands.

Not even joking. It's not collectible or art per IRS designation. Dual lands are small enough to not be noticed as spending a lot of money all at once either.

Judges don't care about prenups. Especially when kids are involved.

bitcoin

bitches don't understand bitcoin

Hiding your money is illegal and there was a case where the woman hid her assets and the judge found out and give the man all her shit.

Prenups would only "work" if you constantly got them to re-signed it every year or half year.

It's already your money, you paid tax on it when you got it. After that, so long as it remains technically in your possession you're fine.

It would be tax evasion if you were funneling new income into offshore accounts BEFORE paying taxes on it, but that's not your case.