ITT: Make a terrible American film adaptation of an Anime

Pick an anime, any Anime of any genre, and make a terrible American shiftfest movie out of it

Hang on, this isn't real, is it?

>American
.ni

suck a cock fag

The Astroboy movie? Yeah came out in 2009 and had Nicolas Cage as Dr. Tenma.

That one wasn't too bad. It at least kept the spirit of the original show.

>Naruto
>It's a faithful adaptation

Ah, yes. The movie that bankrupted Imagi Studios

Micheal Bay directs it. As a result Kokubogar becomes the main robot and is retconed to be part of the US military, the heterodynes are now intelligent and basically just the aliens from The Avengers and all the cool specialized weaponry is replaced by whatever Lockheed is trying to sell right now.

>Cardcaptor Sakura movie
>Sakura is now in highschool instead of elementary school
>film is set in Seattle
30 minutes are dedicated to crappy teen drama
>Tomoyo isn't even in it
>Syaoran isn't from Hong Kong and already is dating Sakura
>the contract with Kero and the card sealing are rushed and condensed into a ten minute explanation, one quick seal and then a boring montage set to a Ke$ha song
>there's a scene where a classmate of Sakura's is hurt by a card sealing and we take a massive emotional detour to focus on Sakura having a little pity party about not wanting to be the Cardcaptor
>Yue's judgement and her battle with Eriol are condensed into one event
>Rob Schneider voices a terrible CGI Keroberos that's perpetually small like his borrowed form but looks like his true form
COMING SOON FROM SONY PICTURES

...

Dragon Ball Evolution
A movie so bad it made Toriyama screech so hard that he wrote two new movies and an entire new series.

As for a create my own. Steins;Gate. Daru and Suzuha would be black. The plot would be a convuluted mess. halfway through the film Okabe will just pick up a gun and start shooting rounders. Faris and Luka just won't exist. Mayuri would literally have autism and this would be brought up at least 7 times. Kurisu would be working for SERN the entire time and they replace the whole microwave shit with some sort of ultra futuristic time machine that looks like it was made by fucking aliens.
The film ends with Okabe making SERN self destruct.

I think I had to throw up a bit

Jim Parsons as Okabe

The entirety of To Love Ru + Darkness adapted into a 7-part live action PG-13 movie series.

I loved this movie. Fuck you.

One Punch Man as funded by Happy Madison Productions and directed by Adam Sandler.

I can do you one worse. One Punch Man directed by Joss Whedon.

>Syaoran still a chink
>not black
You ain't gonna make it in Hollywood, man

How about both?

A Happy Madison One-Punch Man co-directed by Adam Sandler and Joss Whedon and starring Adam Sandler as Saitama and David Spade as Genos

CCS must be the ultimate identity agenda political push America could abuse to hell for their liberal ideologies.

Daisy Ridley as Tatsumaki.

I'm terrified to ask, but how?

GUNDAM
The year is 2079. 19 year old Adrian Ray just transferred to mankind's first military space station (designed to resemble the ISS) in order to complete his zero gravity military pilot training. However, when the terrorist organization known as Z.E.O.N. attacks in their highly sophisticated weapons known as 'mobile suits' (which look like large Iron Man suits), Adrian hijacks the United State's new experimental mobile suit codenamed GUNDAM in order to fend them off. Although he successfully drives Z.E.O.N. off with the help of his wingmen Henry Kobayashi and Tyrone "Kai" Evans, Adrian must join a ragtag taskforce comprised of the survivors of the attack. Assembled under commander Bright to pursue and destroy Z.E.O.N., the crew embarks on the experimental NASA ship White Base to experience the adventure of a lifetime. The movie ends with a final confrontation between Adrian and the leader of Z.E.O.N., Garma. When all hope seems lost, reoccurring antagonist Char Aznable betrays Garma after being pushed around for the last time.
Adrian is an awkward young man, who borrows many of his character traits from Sam Witwicky of the Transformers movies.
Bright is an old, grizzled veteran.
Kai is an African American who is an aspiring rapper.
Henry has no character to speak of.
Char is largely unchanged, except he now has a beard and a distinct southern accent.
Garma is basically Gihren, only the name seems to have been changed.
A love interest is only introduced in the sequel, who is a young female pilot named Camille.
The post credits scene shows a silhouette of Scirocco laughing.

The cards are now green cards

Not that user, but CCS has gays, lesbians, kinda pedos (maybe Syaoran/Sakura could count as interracial) and in their wholesome world is all accepted by everyone. I could see how some people would take advantage of that

"JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: The Movie"

It's a bare bones retelling of Battle Tendancy, JoJo is actually an OSS operative with the personality of Maverick from Top Gun instead of a clever-but-mostly-stupid-lucky street punk who's tasked to figure out what the Nazis want with this South American temple, only for him to enter a battle with the Pillar Men. Said men are a dumb brute (Whammu, played by Dwayne Johnson), a cackling madman (Esidisi, played by Jared Leto) and a generic evil villain (Kars, played by Johnny Depp)

Then JoJo's best friend and partner in the mission, Cesar Zeppeli shows off Bubble Hamon allowing them to escape before a goofy Hamon training scene where the guy who has never known about this ancient art suddenly becomes a professional at it in about 2 days (which they literally say) and there's a bunch of quick fights where the Pillar Men are offed by JoJo and Caesar through bad CGI and toilet humor.

Oh and JoJo and Caesar are played by Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. Who plays who? It really doesn't matter

Serial Experiments Lain. First off, the title gets changed to just Lain, it's directed by the Wachowski brothers, there's a lesbo subplot with Alice and a bunch of action scenes.

Kevin James as Paul Blart: Licenceless Rider

Macross: None of the songs are original, instead being replaced by whatever's popular at the time.

I'd still watch it desu

>Wachowski brothers
>brothers

It could've been a lot worse, honestly. Still nowhere near good or even decent though.

Considering they directed and are most famous for a film series heavily steeped in gnostic thinking and both ended up "trans," I highly doubt that they actually are

Don't say shit about CCS.

Still the best mahou shoujo ever.

Or just actually make the Robotech movie. One of the few good cases of NEVER EVER.

Wut? Where did I shit talk it? t's one of my favorite anime, I'm just explaining what I thought that other dude meant.

How is it good? It stars an annoying little monster.

This one's OK. They miss the point of Astroboy, change the origin and setting, and make it more generic but its watchable and cute at least.

Um user...

She just needs the PRESS

they should adapt dragonball z into an american

I thought we agreed not to talk about that

CURSED IMAGE
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alright ill top everything in this thread
>american Ghost in the Shell
>starring a slightly out of shape scarjo
>turns it into a generic revenge plot
>changes setting into just a Blade Runner ripoff
>awkwardly cram in every notable aspect and reference to the anime franchise as possible all in the one movie
haha boy that sure would be awful, huh guys?

Shut up, Touya
You're a faggot

Why must you make us suffer the memory?

Gundam already has a shitty live action movie.
The parts about Char having an accent and the love interest are great would watch.

american cinema does not allow good plots to be paired with action.

People buy tickets to turn their brains off and watch explosions, not think

I know they said they're making it, they've been saying that for the better part of a decade. I'll believe it when I see it.

But is it a shitty American movie?

Press?

hey, their speedracer film was pretty good

>Tomoyo isn't even in it

A live action Madoka Magica would just look straight up awful.

Death Note where L is inexplicably a nigger

Well, the original show was shit too so it's not like you can make it any worse

The Guyver. It will be pretty gritty and actually be quite cool.

>Isekai Shokudo
>It's a McDonalds employee that smuggles food from his workplace to a few folks from another world, the portal being in his closet
>He gets arrested one day while being caught stealing supplies
>The folks on the other side feel like they were abandoned, and get outraged at it
>Surprise, magic beats bullet somehow
>The main love interest, probably some generic elf, frees him from the cell he was in
>Something something, McDonalds is now set up in the other world as a full-fledged restaurant

God I feel so fucking unmerciful after writing this bullshit.

Neon Genesis Evangelion
>Shinji is a young man excited to finally be working with his father in a top secret facility dedicated to protecting humanity from an alien invasion
>he is shown to be a highly gifted pilot who immediately surpasses his two predecessors in his first battle
>Asuka, who always bragged about her ability, acts hostile with him because of this, but secretly harbors great admiration for his skill
>Rei, who was injured prior to Shinji's arrival, used to be a great pilot, but now she has retired and only gives Shinji some advice on the hardships of his new life before leaving for the rest of the film
>Shinji and his father butt heads repeatedly, but ultimately grow closer through their experiences
>after a montage of defeating angels, Shinji finally saves the day by defeating the final one, an oddly human shaped man who pilots a robot similar to Shinji's own, thus defeating the menace and allowing everyone to return to their daily lives

>K-On live action movie
>Takes place in San Diego
>All the characters are dressed as you would expect from a 2010s Sony Pictures live action film
>Yasmin (formerly Yui) joins the light music club to impress a rich white kid named Jake
>Yasmin gets bullied by Rachael (Ritsu) and threatens to cut her from the band and hack her snapchat in order to send nudes to Jake
>Morgan (Mio) fights Rachael and tells Yasmin that she has one month to master the guitar in order to stay in the band
>Forced romance between Madison (formerly Mugi) and [insert african american actor from the Disney Channel here]
>[insert high school house party scene with generic pop music and drinking here]
>Yui not only masters the guitar in such a short time, but she also manages to play guitar while using a fidget spinner as a pick

I'll give you 8!

cont.
>Yasmina (Ui) gets injured in a car accident with three other guys, all of who were drunk
>[insert forced romance between Yasmin and Jake right outside the hospital]
>the county fair starts and Yasmin and her band "Spice tea" have to come up with a song
>they decide fuck using original music and instead they just do a cover of [insert generic pop song from 2015]
>At the end of the concert, Yasmin and Jake make out and drive off to celebrate their summer break when the credits roll out
Oh, and if you're wondering when Azusa and Sawa-chan show up, they don't. They will debut in the sequel film: "K-On!: The Teaquel" that Sony will rush out to release a year later.

How is this any different from 3.33?

Berserk, they make Guts black and make Griffith 10x gayer, while being directed by George fucking Lopez. They also make the Donovan rape scene 20 minutes longer and Casca is played by fucking Bèyonce. It would be a master piece.

Forgot picture

I actually enjoyed that movie

And who would be Rob Shneider?

If you're gonna keep the Donovan rape then Guts would have to be white

Patlabor, but now the incidental destruction caused by SV2 is used as a metaphor for American police officers using excessive force.
Also, Noa is now a gruff lesbian named Noah.

>Fairy tail
>Is a perfect adaptation
>Is still garbage

>Flashy cuts of a golden set of jewelery encrusted with jewels
>"The Angel's Blessings, found a few years back in a old ruin in Germany, among the largest and most valuable jewelry in the world. Worth tens of millions"
>It cuts to Steve Carell in a red suit driving a car.
>"My name's Lupin. And I'm a thief. Those blessings will be a blessing for my wallet
>He turns to the side, showing Johnny Depp with a fake beard tinkering with a gun
>"Ready Jigen?"
>"Whatever"
>He speeds out the car and they crash through a window ruining a fancy party
>Scene cuts to Drew Barrymore in a dress.
>"Lupin, it's been a long time. Are you after the Blessings? I guess that makes us rivals"
>Lupin pulls her in for a kiss but she pushes him away.
>"I told you, I can't marry someone like you. My life needs to be free."
>Another cut, this time of a cut getting sliced in half. Geroge Takei in a kimono walks in.
>"I am Goemon, my skill with the blade is only matched by my love for men"
>More cuts to things like explosions, gun fights, the gang running, and a car chase.
>John Travolta is shown shouting.
>"If I can't catch Lupin, I'll just kill him!
>Lupin the Thief, coming May 2020.

Who's the director
>image is for pieace of shit that thinks this is a good idea.

>Kaiji is a college dropout who spends his time trying to hit jackpots in the casino
>"You've got balls; I like you, kid"
>Endou recruits him to join the Espoir in order to, as he puts it, "scam the scammers"
>"But you can't go in dressed like that"
>Montage of Kaiji getting suited up
>Kaiji is the funny guy, Endou is the serious guy
>Endou will be monitoring Kaiji's progress in the Espoir, making HILARIOUS back and forths between them
>Kaiji eventually goes into the Espoir
>Kaiji punches the guy who scam him his two stars and recovers them
>Wins thanks to Endou's advices and his own badassery
>He's ready for leaving but notices a love interest losing a star
>He helps her and loses any extra money he could have won but he doesn't care, because now he knows what is truly important
>the jackpot in life is love
>he tells this to Endou and he's furious until he realizes the woman is his daughter
>The three of them watch each other as the music starts to play and the credits roll
>The credits show a montage of the three of them being a happy family
Produced by the same company that makes the Fast and Furious movies.

This thread is cursed
FUCKING CURSED

Kaiji is Will Smith Endou is Tl Jones.
Endou's daugther is Eva Mendez

I imagine it would suffer something similar to what happened with the Jem movie

Kurisu is a guy (Chris)

The movie goes to become the first anime inspired movie to win and oscar for best actor for Jims Parson for the bravery of playing a gay character while being gay!

>Ui

Oh fuck, this is horrible user. I hate it.

Can I make a good one?
>RoV adaption
>directed by James Ivory

Wow, it's a masterpiece. Best picture, even.

>The Teaquel

An initial d movie that focuses on street racing and cars because fast and furious stopped doing it

Berserk. But instead of being a swordsman, he's a detective. Instead of killing people and demons, he solves crime. Instead of taking place in a medieval Midland, it's in modern day San Francisco. Instead of being branded, he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And instead of being called Berserk, it's called Monk.

>interracial romances in hollywood that aren't lead by a white man
right...

>kaiji
>not a rags to richest story about a ghetto black public highschool student who gambles with local gangs to earn money with his superior intellect

I only watched bits and pieces of the first 3 movies, and looking at the trailers for the newest film I can't do anything but wonder what the fuck happened that caused the films to shift in tone so drastically. It's gotten to the point where the fact that the guy who played the lead character died in a street racing accident can't adequately explain it anymore.

DR. KENZO TENMA

>LWA
>Akko will not attend class as a normal witch because she has the magic blood within her veins
>she will watch herself in the Polaris fountain destroying AN ANCIENT EVIL
>Sucy will be a guy
>no Lotte
>Diana will be the vessel for THE ANCIENT EVIL and will try to destroy the magic world, which is secret to normal humans a la Harry Potter
The cast will be full of adult actors pretending to be teenagers.

>it's directed by the Wachowski brothers
>Lain
>Directed by Wachowskis
>Not David Lynch

Ya fucked up, bro

I wholeheartedly agree.

I hope there weren't any bees involved.

Even worse Canadian

>Rob Schneider voices CGI Kero.
They would too.

I'd totally watch an American Patlabor if it was styled like an 80s buddycop film with all the cliches

>hand in your gun Ohta
>your other gun too

Oreimo
>Manami is the sister
>Kirino is the childhood friend
>Kyousuke is in college
>Kirino is a senior in high school
>she's also half black

I'd watch it.

>they are also adults and the incest story is a ripoff of GoT

On a side note - could an American adaption actually save Berserk? Think about it:
>Guts as generic short haired badass MC with American brand American violence
>Casca is token female minority who hates men
>Griffith is genderfluid
Given that they can't even actually attempt their own BS, Griffith will be played by a man, Casca will have only one scene where she's not a damsel, and Guts will be...well Guts.

Lol let's see them try to adapt Evangelion for a general American audience

You could totally make a good movie out of it. Patlabor's heart and soul is in the characters. Get them right and the rest will follow.

>save berserk
>american adaptations saving anything
Good joke friend. They're either garbage or so-so