Would you rather fuck rei in the ass or beat off over asuka while she's comatose or hit shinji over the head with a...

would you rather fuck rei in the ass or beat off over asuka while she's comatose or hit shinji over the head with a metal chair until nothing is left above his neck but goop

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obviously jack off over asuka. why would I fuck a shit in the ass? and stop bullying shinji

>and stop bullying shinji
worst fucking character

it's undeniable

Shinji literally did nothing wrong.

Im a asukafag, but im also into sadism, so the rei offer is tempting
Cant i just rape comatose asuka?

Kill Shinji - literally the whost protagonist ever.

Also this

you have the option of raping comatose asuka but since she's comatose her crotch will be smeared with shit

Fuck Shinji in the Ass
Fap to Rei
Hit Asuka with a metal chair in a Hell in a Cell match.

>Hit Asuka with a metal chair in a Hell in a Cell match.
so she's not comatose? Like you and your pathetic being could land a hit. She would kill you.

All 3 and make Gendo watch.

>sliding in and out of rei while gendo is restrained by your eva and sobs in terror and anger
>listening to her apologize to him as you shoot your thick seed deep inside of her
>savoring the defeated look on his face as he watches you stomp on his glasses and kick rei in the stomach

No she's still comatose.

OH YEAH, BROTHER! ASUKA THINKS SHE IS BEST GIRL! BUT ACTUALLY I'M BEST GIRL! I'M ALSO THE BEST EVA PILOT! ASUKA IS 50% GERMAN AND PROBABLY A NO-GOOD COMMIE NAZI! I'M 100% AMERICAN AND THAT MEANS I HAVE A 200% CHANCE OF WINNING! GOD BLESS YOU BROTHER! BECAUSE GOD WON'T SAVE ASUKA SUNDAY NIGHT ON WRESTLEMANIA

She's 75% german you fucking unfunny reddit pleb

I'm an asukafag but I'd rather fuck Rei in the ass, one because I'm a virgin and two because I wouldn't do something like that to Asuka, I don't care about shinji

I'm not a asukafag so you could easy tell what I would do?

>I don't care about shinji
Literally who does? It feels like everybody in the show fucking hated each other.

Shinji's getting the dick

anons should leave those children alone and kill the closeted gay guy who keeps wanting to stay in the limelight.

anno.

Rei is a nice girl, and asuka is not.

t b h I'd just climb into Asuka's hospital bed and go to cuddle and go to sleep. Jerking it would be boring and done pretty quick, I like Rei but I like Asuka more, and I don't want to beat up Shinji.

How can the emotional equivalent of a wooden plank be "nice"?

>I don't want to beat up Shinji

He's the worst character on the entire show. One of the worst characters in perhaps all of anime.

He shirks responsibility, has no self-esteem at all, is a coward, runs from his problems, masturbated over the limp body of his unconscious friend, and willingly caused the death of all life on earth out of pure selfishness. He's may be the main character of Evangelion but he's also the villain.

How can you not hate him? Do you relate to his trouble with girls? His inadequacy issues? His poor relationship with his father? Don't try to relate to him. He's a fictional character, and a god awful one.

Anyone that does not completely abhor Shinji obviously only feels that way because he reminds them of themselves.

Its as simple as not being a narcissistic psychopath.

I'm an Asukafag, but anal and free use are my fetish and Rei's passive like none other.

I want to hear her moan softly while she tries to just accept what's going on.

Shinji is only the worst character to two kinds of persons: Edgelords who fell for the 'Shinji is a pussy' meme and wants all their anime characters to be some Kirito-like shit, or faggots who never did anything in their life and sympathize with him way too much, but never mustered the will to improve themselves like he did.

>improve themselves like he did
???????????????

>start of evangelion
>awkward loser with no friends that's too much of a coward to do anything
>middle of evangelion
>awkward loser with a few friends that's just barely brave enough to help sometimes whenever he feels like it
>end of evangelion
>awkward loser with no friends that's too much of a coward to do anything other than get everyone he knows killed

that is some simply epic character development

>gets everyone killed
Except for the part where Rei hands him the chance to either kill or bring literally everyone back, and he chooses the second option because he changed.

>"Only brave enough"
>Jumps into the lava with no protective gear
>pointman against Leliel
>Most confirmated kills of all the team
>Has few but true friends, like a man should. He is not a social network attention whore
>cares for his flat partners
>EoE is him being on one of the worst cases of shellshock and PTSD mankind has seen. And with a cause, not like burgers who cry because some 13yo goat fucker shot in their general direction once and the sand was very evil
Summerfags begone

>is a coward, runs from his problems
In the end he does what is needed to be done, he always comes back to fight despite not wanting to.
>willingly caused the death of all life on earth out of pure selfishness
In the end he realizes his mistake and decides that despite the suffering others cause, the joy interacting with other people is what makes life worth living. If it wasn't for him, human instrumentality would have happened no matter what, without any choice to go back, as SEELE and Gendo wanted. Shinji was the only one that could make the choice to reject instrumentality by facing his problems, and overcoming them.

see above

>>Jumps into the lava with no protective gear

You mean with the Eva suit that had withstood like six massive nuke-level explosions at that point?

>>pointman against Leliel
>implying being a reckless idiot is a good thing

>>Most confirmated kills of all the team

How many were actually his and how many were his Eva suit going berserk on it's own and fighting for him?

>>Has few but true friends, like a man should. He is not a social network attention whore

You mean the friends he lost anyways by being a retard

>>cares for his flat partners
>by molesting them in their sleep

>>EoE is him being on one of the worst cases of shellshock and PTSD mankind has seen
>dad why did you pair me up with two hot young girls my age and let me pilot this awesome ass robot wtf I have ptsd now

>You mean with the Eva suit that had withstood like six massive nuke-level explosions at that point?
He was still able to feel searing pain of magma, even without long term danger.

>You mean with the Eva suit that had withstood like six massive nuke-level explosions at that point?

Explain why type d equipment existed then?

He jumped in without a safety cable, had to grab broken support cable and Asuka at the same time to rescue her.

After I hit Shinji over the head with the chair can I fuck him in the ass and cum over his comatose body?

only if his head is caved in to the point of being just goop, if so then yes you may fuck his ass

More like my dad forced me to watch while my Eva crushed my chad friend with no legs surviving, my blue friend died and now I have some kind of simulacrum, my red friend is catatonic due to alien mind rape and my gay friend was an alien I had to kill to save human race, even if he was more kind to me that any hairless monkey.

>wtf dad why did you make my eva beat the shit out of my chad friend even though his eva would have killed everyone I hate you

>wtf dad why did you bring my dead friend back to life I hate you

>my friend is catatonic might as well jerk off all over her

>wtf why did I have to kill this guy that was going to kill everyone on earth even though I knew him for like one day

The proper response is to have all three on the same bed, dicking Shinji as you finger Asuka & Rei.

Punch Shinji. Marry Rei. Shoot Asuka with a 12 gauge.

can't wait until summer is over

Don't be mad user, here, let's go out to lunch.

>hit shinji over the head with a metal chair until nothing is left above his neck but goop
Why do people hate shinji so much?
Eventhough he hated all the shit with the angels and evas he still did his job most of the time, hell he got into the robot first time, because otherwise some very injured girl he didn't even know had to do it.
Like the one time he actually quit on them was when they basically forced him to kill his friend and classmate and what happend at the eoe was a government conspiracy he had no knowing of or know of a way to stop it.

Tl;dr why does everyone hate Shinji he did pretty well for a 14 year old emotionally damaged child?

I'd rather have Asuka beat me up. Is that an option?

>asuka catches you beating off
>laughs and makes fun of you for not having a girlfriend and having to masturbate
>pushes you onto the floor and waves her finger in your face while calling you a beta
>stands over you and places her foot on your chest, pressing down hard whenever you try to stand
>laughs while tears well up in your eyes
>notices you're still erect and places her foot into your hard cock
>slowly glides it over the tip while you blush and stammer for her to leave you alone
>she laughs some more and presses her foot down on your balls as hard as she can
>your eyes bulge with pain and she roars with laughter at the sight of you crying and leaking precum just because of her feet
>asuka stomps down on your balls and bites her lip as you shoot thick ropes of cum all over her foot and ankle
>she berates you for cumming all over her and so quickly as you sob
>asuka takes one last look at your angry red broken balls, smiles with a smug grin, and leaves

pff, amateurs
exhentai.org/g/505024/81686e1588/

the best way to have fun with asuka

LEWD

Come on, asuka doesnt weight more than 50kg. How could she possibly do any of those things to anyone one else other than the skeletal beta shinji?

>implying you wouldn't let her on purpose

Asuka can beat you or any other user up. It's canon.

...

>Asuka's the kind of domme that's looking to be dominated.
>
>I wish there was a term for it.

Whore?

Fuck comatose Asuka in the ass till her ass is nothing but semen

>no Misato option
I hate remake Misato though

stupid shinji apologists

Literally all of the problems in the series could have either been prevented or solved if Shinji wasn't a complete bitch.

Like what?

You and I both. Great quads, by the by.

Underrated comment of the thread

Retarded samefag of the thread.

>Option 4
>Get fucking smashed with Misato, she gives you a sloppy handjob, but you got whiskey dick so it's overall uneventful.

>wanting used goods
she's literally a whore user, why would you want her hands touching you?

The user wanted an option, so I came up with one. I like her as a character and would help her drink beer, but I don't really want to fuck her.

Im not defending him because he is a retarded asshole, but what you expected? The entire series is based on him being depressed and making shitty decisions.
I never got people that outright HATE a character for playing his role into the series. If you dislike the role of a main character that much, perhaps its no the story for you?

3.0 is so ugly.

She is a depressed 28 year old woman who hates everything

I kinda dont like it. Undermines how fragile NGE asuka really was. Having the Eva was quite literally the only thing she had. Adding stuff makes it less important.

>Fug asuka
>Beat up shinji but don't kill him
>leave Rei alone, don't want her to absorb my dick like Gendo's hand
I kind of understand toji now

This. She bullies Shinji while secretly hoping he'll snap, manhandle her, bend her over, and fuck her into submission, then taking control of her and thus taking care of her.

>She is a depressed 28 year old woman who hates everything
delet these feelings of sadness I have due caused by thinking of Asuka being lonely for 14 years

Exactly. Asuka is perfectly tailored for a Hatefuck, she'll enjoy it, a lot

Asuka... had a hard life

Asuka's biggest weakness does not know how to fight cuddles.

of course
followed by tender cuddling

Asuka is a pure maiden made for pure loving

And hand holding
>Asuka
>pure
no

>commie nazi

I'm going to marry Asuka-chan!

no, Soryu is mine, you can have Shikinami

why choose one when you can choose all?

Cooking for them all would be a nightmare though. Plus you might as well get a job as a plumber since all the drains are gonna be clogged 24/7 with red hair.

now i want to live with 6 versions of the same person.
EoE Asuka is best tho

>missing the very best alternate Asuka

Poor shinji. There are things no man can hope to achieve, and handling 6 asukas is one of those.

I'd rather just die than do any of these desu

>Literally hikari with hair paint.
Naw, too boring.

holy fucking pleb batman

Nah, it's just Asuka with cute freckles

yeah

>boring

Damn...
i take that back, manga ending Asuka best Asuka, god i wish i were shinji for once

Not manga ending, but the original character outline for Asuka from the Evangelion per-production proposal.

...

>If you disagreed withe it means that you are edgy and I don't like.
>Also SAO!

Insecure as always Sinjifags.

Cute!
I literally cannot jerk off to eva characters. This kind of stuff warms my hearth above all else.

you aren't wrong

can you even call anal a fetish

He would also get to cuddle with 6 Asukas too.

imma just leave this here
youtube.com/watch?v=FckkZihQUaU

so basically the human instrumentality project?

...

I have no fucking idea what is going one there. Is it timetravel, their children, or what?

cringe

delet this