Bob: “It’s…a button?”

Bob: “It’s…a button?”

Me: “Yes, but not just a button, it’s an Automatic Random Murderer.”

Bob: “Uh…what?”

Me: “Automatic Random Murderer. You see…if I press it, a random person, somewhere on earth, immediately has his or her heart explode.”

Bob: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Me: “What?”

Bob: “You invented a button…wait, what?”

Me: "Yeah, ain't it great?"

Bob: "What is wrong with you?"

Me: "What?"

Bob: "Seriously, what is wrong with you?"

Me: "I don't know why you're upset...this is something that people want and need."

Bob: "You're kidding, right?"

Me: "No! People will want this! What's your problem with it?"

Bob: "It...kills people!"

Me: "No it doesn't."

Bob: "What do you mean it doesn't?!? You just said that it kills people!"

Me: "No, I said if you press it, a random person dies."

Bob: "It's the same thing!"

Me: "No. The button can't kill anybody, it requires somebody to push the button. ARMs don't kill people, people kill people."

Bob: "Okay, that's the dumbest damn thing I've ever heard, the button has exactly one purpose: killing, right?"

Me: "No, not at all! Look at it...it's pretty, right?"

Bob: "Huh?"

Me: "It's pretty! It's room decor!"

Bob: "Okay, be serious, THAT isn't a purpose...you already said, this has one purpose, killing people."

Me: "Oh, wait, you misunderstood me. The REAL purpose of this is killing animals."

Bob: "Huh?"

Me: "Yeah, it kills animals."

Bob: "Okay, explain."

Me: "If you push the button, and there's an animal within 50 feet of you, it'll die!"

Bob: "You mean, like a deer? This is for hunting?"

Me: "Yes, of course!"

Bob: "So, why does it have a box with screws to mount it on the wall?"

Me: "To use it as room decor, silly!"

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=LJQ-LZYAMBQ
aftermath.com/content/accidental-shooting-deaths-statistics
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Bob: "And if there's no animal within 50 feet, I assume...."

Me: "Somebody dies."

Bob: "Just...somebody dies."

Me: "Yep! Great, ain't it?"

Bob: "This is so messed up."

Me: "What, why?"

Bob: "It's a button...that kills people!"

Me: "We've already covered that, Bob. People kill people! The button is nothing but a pretty, red, shiny thing, that looks like a lot of fun to push! Who would push something like that without knowing the ramifications?"

Bob: "Wait...children will push it! What the hell, Garrett, children will think it's fun to play with!"

Me: "Oh, now you're just being a jerk. Children will NOT want to play with this. Any responsible ARM owner will teach his children to respect the bright, red, shiny thing mounted on the wall and not to play with it. Even if they did, look, I put a cover on it. You can close the cover."

Bob: "And a child can open it."

Me: "Have you NOT been listening to me? Children can be taught to respect bright, shiny things and will never play with them when told not to."

Bob: "This is so ridiculous. You know this is just going to kill people, right?"

Me: "No, and that's the best part about this."

Bob: "Oh, okay...this is gonna be great...go on."

Me: "Nobody's going to push the button because you never know if somebody else will push a button."

Bob: "Okay, you lost me."

Me: "If I had this mounted on my wall, I'd never want to use it because I'd know there are other people with buttons...and if I used mine, they might use theirs."

Bob: "Are you seriously telling me that people would buy these buttons...hoping not to use them?"

Me: "That's right. Who would want to use a button?"

Bob: "Then why buy the button?"

Me: "Because, otherwise, the only people buying the buttons would be bad people who want to kill other people."

Bob: "This is so, so stupid. Why make the damn button, then, if bad people will get their hands on the button?"

Me: "Oh, if I don't make the button, somebody else will."

Bob: "Then we'll make it illegal to have a button!"

Me: "Oh, you can't do that! First, if it's illegal, then only criminals would own them! Second, it's a constitutional right!"

Bob: "Oh come on."

Me: "It's right there, 'the right to bear ARMs shall not be infringed'!"

Bob: "You think the Founding Fathers meant a button that can kill a random person?"

Me: "Yes, of course! They had the foresight to see that technology would advance, so they anticipated this! But, just a reminder, ARMs don't kill people, people kill people."

Bob: "This is the most useless conversation I've ever had. Garrett, why are you creating a button that, despite excuses, has only one real purpose, which is killing people?"

Me: "Bob, the ARM doesn't kill people, people kill people. Gosh, you're so ignorant."

bump

show me a gun with a box with screws to mount it on a wall

youtube.com/watch?v=LJQ-LZYAMBQ

The main point is, guns are used as a home decoration, or that is what ppl use as argument for owning a killing machine.

What are you trying to say with this cute little skit?

this

He's saying he wants Trump to take his guns.

don't be an idiot

Guns don't randomly kill people, though, shariablue.

In fact, if you did five minutes of research, you'd know that firearms are used defensively almost 100 times more than they're used in violent crime... and that's only for what's reported, not when somebody brandishes a gun and a situation is resolved, but the cops are never called.

Dumbest psyop on pol yet. Sage

Guns are useful for power projection. Not for decoration. I hope you didn't write all that, because if you did, you are retarded.

>Automatic Random Murderer.
The keyword would be random.

kill yourself you stupid liberal faggot
shall not be infringed

Gay

>Guns don't randomly kill people

that's not even remotely true

>According to the Centers for Disease Control, there were 130,557 deaths in 2013 from unintentional injuries, the 4th ranking cause of death in 2013 overall. From 2005-2010, almost 3,800 people in the U.S. died from unintentional shootings.

aftermath.com/content/accidental-shooting-deaths-statistics

That is not why guns are owned at all, they are not decoration. They are also not big and red and shiny. They also require intent to use and directionality, there is no "random" element to them. This "button" doesn't work for self defence. This is a poor straw man you've set up, it's worth a you but also a sage.

The wording on this. Jesus.

>were 130,557 deaths in 2013 from unintentional injuries
>the 4th ranking cause of death
NOT GUNS

>From 2005-2010, almost 3,800 people in the U.S. died from unintentional shootings.
GUNS
760 per year, a literal nothing.

>Somebody wrote this autistic strawman
No thanks, I'll keep my home defense utility.

All I know is that the UK would ban buttons.
Doorbells are now lever operated.
I hope your happy Bob.

Is this an advertisement for these buttons? Because I want one. Would help with overpopulation as it statistically targets china and india.

>OP mysteriously disappears just in time to avoid a beating
Every time.

Okay, but does your button allow me to kill the pests who destroy my crops or kill my animals?
Does your button act as a deterrent for intruders?

Oh look, it's another "we should try to un-invent something because I don't like it" episode.

> The button has no other use.
> An AR-15 can save me from a pack of underprivledged niggers that want my TV.

HOLY

FUCKING

REDDIT

SPACING

BATMAN

OP it takes a lot of effort to successfully edit in or out an amendment. Its never been done with the first 10 known as the. Bill of Rights because these were fundamental. Removal of the 2nd (or any of the 10) would constitute a void of contract.

Jesus dude. You're all fucked up, huh?

accidental ijuries are just getting rid of dumb people

Moot used reddit spacing

vodka literally kills more people than russians and guns do combined in usa

>go shooting targets in the woods
>someone’s head explodes 5000 miles away
wtf I hate guns ban them now

literally who nigger?

the funniest thing about this is that it took me way less time to read this than it took you to type.
and yes, despite all this effort, OP is a faggot

Yeah, and moot was a faggot that cucked us out to the feminists

Some things need to die more quickly than the good Lord allows, that's what firearms are for.

HOLY FUCK MY ALMONDS

NO STOP ACTIVATING IT HURTS RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT HUUUUUURTS MY ALMONDS WERE SUPPOSED TO LIE DORMANT FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

I hope the police don't have an Automatic Random Murderer, people might die.

>random.

That was really, really, really gay.

(You)
Now this is going to sound 3edgy5u at first but hear me out. What we really need is more guns and less laws preventing people from using them. I mean liberals confuse the fuck out of me.
They cry all day long about the planet being overpopulated and then we have an incident like this and suddenly their goal is to allegedly make sure as many people are still alive at the end of the day as possible? That's pretty logically inconsistent.

Ponder this for a second... You're driving down the road, and some idiot cuts you off...and then has the nerve to flip YOU off, and then they proceed to drive really slowly in front of you. You're in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store and some old bag has her shopping cart parked sideways in the middle of the aisle and even when she finally realizes she's not the only human being on the planet and moves (after giving you a dirty look, how dare you exist!) the numale cuck is standing there on his cell phone texting while his wife's son who has no fucking manners is blocking the shelf that has your tendies on it.

Why the fuck are people such inconsiderate self centered assholes? Because they aren't afraid to be.

We all know there's too many of us crammed into crowded shopping centers and what-not while 97% of the earth's surface is defacto owned by a bunch of rich Jews and abandoned until they find a way to profit from it. If we aren't going to address the Jew problem we all at least understand the non-jew areas are crowded AF. We talk about population control and shit and then we act like murdering somebody who is standing in the way of somebody else's tendies is supposed to be the most immoral act imaginable.

Bullshit. You feel the same thing I do when somebody is in the way of YOUR tendies. You don't want gun control because you think murdering that asshole is wrong. You want gun control because you are more often than not the stupid asshole people would be murdering.

And then I can smell the usual counter-argument coming from a mile away.
>muh innocent children
>don't you care about the innocent children.
Well before the invention of the telegraph and mass transportation I neither knew nor cared about somebody else's children. (this is ignoring the fact that pretty much every reputable psychologist says the reason school shooters do it is because of all the fame the media spews in their direction).

One of the many undue stresses of modern society thrust at us without our consent. More stresses to break minds and cause people to lash out violently at one-another. And when we reach that breaking point all those fanciful laws might as well just be a roll of fucking ass-wipe.

We're trained to and given the tools to look for things to fear. To be afraid of anything outside of our little cookie-cutter robotic rat-race. People are so fucking high-strung and both fearful and angry of one another that you can take every gun and blunt every knife but the moment people see the facade of civilization begin to crumble we will simply rend each other's flesh with our fingernails.

I liked your little faggot skit, OP

...

You are fucking retarded OP, Guns dont kill random people, they kill who ever the user intends to kill with them. Your example assumes it will randomly kill.

Go take a long walk off a short pier.

This movie sucked.

>le button gun analogy hurrrrrr

The truth is, if you handed a leftist a button, and told them if they pressed it a Trump supporter would die, and NOBODY would know they hit that button... they'd get carpel tunnel. Guns are't the problem. Mental illness is the problem.

>comparing a gun that can be used for self defense with a buttor made exclusively for murder
Can you be a little more scruffy?

SHALL