Warning to britbongs

In April nofap will become law in the UK. ISPs will be forced to block access to pornographic websites to under 18s. A system has already been developed called ageID. AgeID is essentially an internet ID that will link your online history to you the person IRL. If you plan to fap don't fall for the trap. Fill those hard drives with shit you never thought you'd jerk off to. In a decades time you might gain an interest for Brazilian women farting on each other while being face fucked by a couple transsexual midgets. Unless you hand over your internet privacy to the government by signing up to AgeID, or get extremely lucky with a couple of kinky Latino girls, you my friend are screwed.

Other urls found in this thread:

metro.co.uk/2017/04/06/mass-debate-over-plan-for-80-fine-for-masturbation-edges-closer-6557993/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

I thought the UK already had a filter? What is this now? They want all individual Internet users monitored by an online profile?

Bumping for interest. Sickening if true. Usually UK has crazyfuck laws before USA, almost like we lag behind. Makes me concerned about US amidst all these internet censorship laws.

nice

>Implying you can't fap to thoughts?

>AgeID is essentially an internet ID that will link your online history to you the person IRL

If you sign up for it, and intend to pay for porn. Why do either? A filter that restricts all R-rated websites by default is literally impossible without global cooperation. Don't be a normie.

It's fucking crazy

Soon you'll need a loisence for fapping

Do under 18 people forget that one day they, too, will turn 18?
What's so wrong with an imagination? What's so wrong with making yourself desirable to women, or having no standards for you women?
Why do we need the pr0n so badly?

>porn industry ran by jews
>this is somehow a bad thing
Stop being a degenerate.

>ISPs will be forced to block access to pornographic websites to under 18s.

This is bad....how?

The UK has no free speech laws so who cares about that.

I'm surprised da joos let this go through. Expect a massive white awakening in Britain after this goes into effect.

Literally the best thing our government has done for over a decade.

the absolute state of universal healthcare

>be britbong
>having tea and crumpets with me mum
>start thinking of Muriel from work
>would i like to have a little in out, in out with her
>"'scuse me mum. I... I need to have a go"
>head over to the computation machine
>it's off
>slam it hard with me fist
>"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK"
>it turns on
>search for porn
>blocked
>"bollocks"
>run outside and find the nearest red phone booth
>grab the tele and dial the pornography administrator
>"Ello? Her Majesty's Pornographer Administration Centre. Who's this callin?"
>"Ello. I need a wank something good"
>"Hol on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first."
>"My name is Edmond Smith and I live at 3242 W. Pennywood Lane."
>"Alright then. And what time of porn will you be wanting to today, Mr. Smith"
>"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, my pecker is about ready to burst"
>"Alight then. One moment please… And you are all set sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckhold porn."
>"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!"
>"God bless her right! Cheerio"
>Race back home before the cuchold porn time runs out
>enter front door
>blood is everywhere
>go into kitchen
>mum is dead
>beheaded by muslims

that ending
>incoming amerimutt memes

7/10
No one in Britain would ever say 'pecker'. 'Todger' is funnier and more likely.

Very few streets in England are long enough to have numbers running into the high hundreds, let alone 1000s.

Otherwise good effort.

>UK is probably the closest to 1984 of all of us. Britbongs why the fuck you allow this?

metro.co.uk/2017/04/06/mass-debate-over-plan-for-80-fine-for-masturbation-edges-closer-6557993/

costs 80$ to jack it in the UK and everyone has to wear a cock ring with a webcam so if you jack it before you pay then it removes your appendage.

Banning porn is the last thing they should be bitching about.

Use TOR

...

good

>inb4 Jack it without Birthing liscence you get castrated.

see

For some bizarre reason many anons think of internet pornography and masturbation as inextricably linked - as though one cannot be had without the other. Truly sad times.
>2018
>still a victim of the porn jew

Oh no how will the youth have access to blacked and cuckold porn now!?

>No one in Britain would ever say 'pecker'.
YES THEY FUCKING WOULD, MORE LIKELY THAN TODGER ROUND MY AREA.

This is actually a good thing. People won't be exposed the extremely degenerate shit on most porn sites. Only downside is that sites like Sup Forums might be blocked.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. BIN THAT PORN

>what is VPN

Honestly this, never had the motivation to stop and since NYE I have cut out all the degenerative shit from my life apart from porn so may aswell kick the final bad habbit.

UK is working on banning those next

Already have pal, we have the thought police. Mummy May is coming for you if you think about not following the narrative.

>haha yuropoors are so cucked with their nanny state, they don't have freedom like we do
>OMG BAN EVERYTHING I DON'T LIKE!!!

Amerimutts, everyone.

restrictions
>good
A fuckin stripey clusterfuck of (((stars)))

So i should start to stockpile porn?

so you're saying the rest is pretty accurate?

>pornographic websites
So about 98% of the internet? Maybe you guys should have stayed under the loving umbrella of mother EU.

Cant you just use a vpn?

That or Tor will be easiest work around

>Armed Police

Fear not, the police state is only growing in power, soon all officers will have be carrying a GPMG

...

It wont do shit.

Remember when the UK made ISPs block torrenting sites? Remember how easy it was for people to bypass these blocks? These days you don't even need to try and bypass the blocks, the domains are automatically set up to divert UK IPs to another domain name that isn't blocked in the UK.

They cannot even successfully block 100 torrenting websites, how the fuck are they going to block the millions of porn websites that exist?

Hell, even if they some how manage this, all the big ones will have alternate domain names set up in minutes and anyone smart has been using a VPN for years now.

Honestly this is the last thing britbongs should worry about.

Good advice. Already began rhis 6 months ago. Sheer stockpiling.

Aye, they are as inept as they come.
If this is the cause of the riots and not something like terror attacks then I will have finally lost hope.

>This is bad....how

You fucking retard. Thi means it is blocked for everyone who doesn't sign up to be under constant surveillance.

>you might gain an interest for Brazilian women farting on each other while being face fucked by a couple transsexual midgets
Nobody that isn't mentally ill would

Serious question, could they classify Sup Forums as a pornographic website? Reddit? Both have porn boards.

They could seriously trash the entire new right wing of British politics.

Blocking porn websites wont cause riots, but it will cause a rise in sexual assault. Calling it now.

>sign up to be under constant surveillance.
>Implying alphabetti spaghetti are not doing it already

Good

I'm not a libertarian retard. The UK's speech and weapon laws already on the books are the problem, not restricting porn sites. Porn is incredibly degenerate.
oh no people won't be able to watch people stick their tongues up each others assholes anymore

In some ways I wish it was. Unfortunately the era of 'God Save the Queen', Her Majesty's Department of Irrelevant Pedantry and red telephone boxes is long gone. I wish we did all still wear bowler hats, have huge moustaches and pronounced regional accents.

Anyone got the porn license pasta?

>weapon laws already on the books are the problem, not restricting porn sites

Then why menstruate all over the place, faggot?

This is the only problem with it. My guess is that only NSFW boards and subreddits will be blocked.

kys

Guess I need to fork out for a fucking VPN now.

Here, have this, little princess.

Already been posted

Tor will probably get around it anyway.

don't be a traitor.
stop that masturbator,

Really? Whereabouts are you from? I don't think anyone says todger anymore but it fits the 'oi i sware on me mum' stereotype.

Be careful not to post this

>implying that's not the reason they're bringing in this law

They'll cast the net as wide as possible while saying it's about "porn" and "muh think of the children" just to win public support. Frankly, they want to have legal proof of every individuals online activity.

But then there is also using Tor to access the web, or a VPN. So there yo go.

Yeah but fuck waiting the usual 5 minutes for a few seconds of video to load.

Also I wouldn't want to slow the network down with something as un-important as porn.

Can any tech-user let me know if a VPN is a good buy for getting around this nanny-state horse shit?

No. There are certain requirements a website has to meet before it can be classified as porn and blocked.

If they decide to block anything with porn on it, they'd end up blocking websites like Facebook and Twitter. So there are at least certain requirements that must be met.

Found the weak willed spineless sheep
> please guvurnmunt
>I can't control my urges
>ban porn so I don't fap to trannies anymore

Grow some backbone and don't consume it
This prohibition is the same as taking your guns away because some deem them bad.

Can you not just register your name as Roger Todger and still get to wank to online porn?

The U.K. has slowly been turning Orwellian for the last decade or so. Their anti-porn efforts are just one example. However, I am thinking crafty developers will get past this as all it took last time was a browser extension to get past the first filter.

>Brits can't watch porn
>Female police get humped by nigs in the street
Checks out.

Still using your ISP

Be careful not to buy this

That's probably it, but if porn is harder to access because of it, then that is a benefit.

Good. masturbation is wrong and a sin

>limiting freedom is a good thing
You are not American. Kill yourself.

>The U.K. has slowly been turning Orwellian for the last decade or so
>Slowly
Boy oh boy, they responded like a week or 2 ago to a 10k person signed letter to house of commons asking for a law like the 1st amendment and they basically just replied "swivel on it"

This.
Porn should be banned everywhere desu. But especially in the cesspool called America.

people do say pecker
i have not once heard someone say todger

oh right you're a posh boi

You are going to have an internet ID faggot. Give bye bye to shitposting here or having any freedom whatsoever no the internet

>implying this country was supposed to be the degenerate marketplace it is today
>implying the Founders wouldn't be the first to advocate for authoritarianism if they saw the state of America today

You fucking retards enjoy giving you credit card details too gookmoot as this will be classed as porn

>AgeID
Don't you think this could lead to more negative outcomes in the future? What if we start demanding licenses for informational websites or opinionated forums

Any free proxy site would also work. I haven't used one since about 2004, but I reckon they still exist.

>having your mind pozzed by kikes is real freedom
You certainly are an American.

Yes, and sharia internet.

Calm down nigger.

I guess he was lucky

>Anonymous
this is what they fear the most.

VPNs work fine. I've been using one for years.

VPNs do not let you download at full speed though, but usually you'll get 50-75% of your normal speed, which is more than enough for watching porn. I've never felt my VPN was slowing down my connection enough that I'd need to turn it off though.

Only downside is you cannot post on Sup Forums with a VPN unless you pay for a Sup Forums pass. (You're also going to have to pay for a decent VPN, which'll cost you maybe £3-4 a month).

>they want to have legal proof of every individuals online activity.

This. It's a poorly thought out concept by some old duffer of a Civil Servant with no understanding of IT systems, much like every other IT system the UK Government has ever introduced.

VPNs will be as commonplace as adblockers in the UK in a couple of years.

Oh, that's a great idea. Let's ban guns so we can be safer. Kill yourself. You seems forget about 9th amendment.

>what is self-discipline
Kill yourself, spineless. Did you know that alcohol is bad for you, right? Let's ban all alcohol.

Theresa Mao also wants to ban online trolling because it's apparently a "Threat to Democracy"

Pic related.

You're a freedom hating cuck

I know huh? LOL!
It is like the UK has mall cops most of the time.
Ummmm!
Our cops have always been armed without much problem. But then we as citizens are pretty much armed too. I know you guys are used to having pretty much hall monitors, but in the real world most cops have guns.

You need a VPN that protects against DNS leaks (how your ISP will see what you are doing). I recommend PIA VPN, just go into advanced settings and turn on DNS leak protection. If you don't your ISP can see every website you connect to.