> Be 20 year old Grunt In Iraq, 2006 > In a 3 story with a several dozen other Marines > Watching the street all day, it's littered with bodies of dead towelies > No contact for an hour > Dusk sets on us > Suddenly a Haj peaks his head around the wall on the street corner > All joking and talking on our floor stops > Entire building goes quiet as we watch the fucker > He peaks around the corner several times then runs out into the street towards the closest dead body > starts searchin & stuffing himself with ammo, explosives, anything salvageable off the men we had killed hours earlier > " No weapon visible but he's taking enemy para off the bodies. Permission to engage?" > " free to engage". > Immediately one round is fired, and almost just as quickly the Hajj falls to the ground > " Clear the street of enemy para before any other mother fucker gets the same idea" says the CO > With none of us too happy, we file out of the bottom of the building and make way to the street that we had turned into a graveyard. > we make out way to the bodies with zero contact > over the radio we get orders to search the building next to the street, "earlier reports say an unidentified female was seen on that roof when there was intense fire fights earlier that day and vanished. Check the house for a weapons stash". > we look at eachother knowing the dangers that could be inside and I let out a long 'Fuuuuuuuccccckkkkk meeeee'
> Four of us are picked to go inside and sweep while the remainder of the force remains outside near the courtyard and the street to finish the original task > With my buddy on point, we make our way through the shanty piece of shit apartment, carefully watching the steps for IEDs > We finally make it to the roof after what seemed like an eternity > At this point, the sun is going down and the sky has that beautiful FlashWave type purple and orange > I take a moment to sit down on a piece of busted couch pillow and enjoy the rare peace of calm, while listening to the wind > The other marine on the roof with me walks to the ledge to let the guys on the ground know that were gold. > "No weapons cashe and no female. Guess this was a waste of time". > We hear yelling from down below > " That woman was last seen before we were hit with mortal fire. She's probably long gone by now." > "See waste of time". > My buddy then shines his flashlight on the ground below me. >" look down" > So I look down and notice that what I'm sitting on is not a broken piece of couch. > Its the mangled/ chard torso of some sand nigger!
Thomas Davis
>TBagd
Tyler Sullivan
No it’s not. Pics or it didn’t happen. Need to see this sand niggers dead torso.
Jack Fisher
>> Its the mangled/ chard torso of some sand nigger! Jesus murphy!
Michael Smith
>Americans are this dumb, mistaking a corpse for a couch
Dylan Allen
This pasta was posted months ago
Grayson Phillips
>be Army grunt in Iraq 2009. >Patreus's Son Of Iraq plan pay hajis not to fight us. >AQI and most other militia groups lose 90% of their memebership to wage cuckoldry. >MFW I go from killing haji to paying him a monthly stipend to run checkpoints with ahmed and muhamed. >We pay ahmed and muhamed also. >a lot >MFW the plan works. No more fighting (still a tiny bit). >execute nothingtodo.exe >Army hates nothingtodo.exe >Leadership get word from one high we need to stay busy...you know for morale and shit. >Leadership starts drafting plans for us to reengage our non existent insurgency. >end program nothingtodo.exe >execute operationlivebait.exe >Get ordered to drive up and down the most active MSR west of Baghdad. >Get ordered to forgoe safe convoy movement procedure and drive in a slow and predictable manny. >Get forced to drive back and forth on the MSR over the same 10 miles section for 12 hours each night for 3 months. >MFW i am live bait.
cont.
Ethan Thomas
I also have a story about an Iraqi baby that is really fucked up but id rather save it for a different time. But if we have no other stories then I'll share it.
Daniel Scott
Hahahahaha
Gavin Peterson
Ffs gib u tease
Nathan Walker
Lmao. I heard this was true.
Lucas Bailey
>it's not a couch, it was a roasted sandnigger Gave me a chuckle, I won't lie
Jacob Sanchez
...
Justin Gomez
> mfw in live bait
Lol! Imagine how the guys on the first Dday boats felt.
Carson Reyes
Yeah let’s just feed useless people every year and let them breed more starving children! Sounds like a great idea!!!
Daniel Turner
How much would it cost the next year when all those morons that didn't die have a kid instead?
it's not our job to feed the retards too stupid to grow crops.
Ayden King
no thanks memeflag
Eli Kelly
>survive operationlivebait.exe >Leadership has agreed to halt operationlivebait.exe because some General caught wind of what was happening and put an end to that shit. >2 months left on deployment and starting to think they might actually leave us alone until we left country. >Thought that even if I was cleaning strykers and mraps the whole time it's still be better than trying to get blown up for a captain thirsty for sigacts on his record. >Get sent out of the wire as a QRF >Get told nothing other than to respond to a grid coordinate. >Platoon is falsely told there was a ied team setting an ambush. >Arrive to the location, its a giant open dirthole with nothing around. >Get told to walk off the road for 250m. >The squad goes single file with 10m spacing. >walking off road but scanning for enemies constantly. >Start to notice things in the ground through my peripheral vison. >Stop to turn and look. >MFW I see a pie plate >MFW I see a 155mm shell dud >MFW I see multiple ordinance fins >Everyone else has also noticed the unexploded ordinance scattered around. >Squad Leader scopes a sign 50m away. >Sign says "Danger Impact Area" in English and Arabic >Everyone freezes. Most start cussing. >Sqd Ldr radios LT >LT acknowledges he knows it is an impact area and that we are to attempt to locate a recent flare 155mm round that did not detonate. >We immediately retrace our steps slowly and carefully out of the Impact Area. >When we return to the trucks, LT closes his hatch and hides in his truck. >Several recommendations for fragging are tossed out. >MFW I realize how bad it actually is.
Grayson Gonzalez
If you feed the pigeons, you just get more pigeons. Let them feed themselves and nature will manage their numbers. The only reason we have poverty in such a large scale today is because we continue to give food and medicine to people who are far to ignorant to ever create such things for themselves.
Isaiah Richardson
> 2 months left on deployment, thinking they will leave us alone till then
One thing I learned is you always get hit worse when you think your safe lol. First months in and last month's out are usually hell
Jeremiah Martinez
>This whole thread kek Come join lads, we got one cookin since 2011.
Jeremiah Brown
Y'all are almost done though right?
Connor Jenkins
>Start grinding my teeth asleep and awake >Everyone is one the edge >No one is thinking straight, its 140 degrees in june and our morale is all but dead >Get word creepy uncle Biden is coming to Iraq. >Get told we're running a nationwide sweep of all now jihadis and caches in conjunction with IP and IA. >Driving lead roller hummer . >Start op at night with a 3 hr stealth tcp at a choke point. >Tension is thick. >Gunner hates TL, TL hates everyone, I'm minding my own damned business. >Gunner brought chips to eat in the turret. >TL asks for some, gunner says "fcuk off" >Gunner makes joke, TL makes joke, Gunner makes joke about TLs wife. >TL grabs Gunners bagochips and proceeds to smash it to infinity. >Gunner cracks chemlight, snaps it, cuts it, and shakes it out on TL >TL return the favor with another chemlight >MFW we are literally glowing in the dark at TCP as lead vehicle. >LT calls up to retrieve eof cones. >TL gets out to get cones. >All radio siclence is immediatly broken by 6 different laughters >MFW I realize I am a glow in the dark nigger.
Xavier Brown
Not even remotely, the Turkish border is absolutely boiling right now, your troops/Turkey/our troops/Kurds/Iran/Russia/kikes, you fucking name it, it's there and it's fighting.
Aaron Clark
top fucking kek
Kayden James
No. Bad. Stop.
Josiah Sullivan
What's Syria looking like right now? I know someone about to be deployed there.
Robert Rodriguez
Pretty shit if you ask me. If your guy is getting sent to Afrin, he's beyond fucked.
Carter Cook
Bump
These always make me laugh.
Juan Mitchell
It's not pasta because it's only been posted once and that was months ago when I posted it you stupid fag.
Juan Sullivan
> what's Syria like
Justin Price
...
Thomas Morales
>be Marine on 4th and possibly last deployment depending on gunfights >afghanistan >conduct first left seat/right seat patrol with outgoing unit >squad leader asks if I'm game to walk through open area to attempt and draw contact >doitfaggot.jpeg >faggot takes us through danger area with no fucks given >dune coon lights us up from the southwest 300 meters out >call contact and right face to engage threat >stupid fuck didn't wet ground in front of his firing position >fire three rounds and dust cloud at edge of shitty mud wall on hill, weapon on safe, assault that bitch >get to enemy position > dead taliban fag with half a head >go the entire deployment with no further contact >should have let that faggot get away >don't reenlist
Jack James
That legit makes me sad.
Joshua Thomas
Well, shit. I'm worried now.
Nicholas Wood
Why would you want him to get away? Guilty conscience? Felt like a waste since you didn't do anything else?
Sebastian Rodriguez
They were getting a feel for the new unit. See how we responded. They don't like getting shot in the face if they don't have to.
Daniel Sullivan
What do you guys do with enemy KIA? Do you leave the body there or take it with you
Christopher Edwards
What is he special forces? he will be fine if so, probably won't go to Afrin, probably just gonna train some sandniggers and call in airstrikes on supply trains or some shit.
Jordan Ramirez
Personally, I didn't fight because "muh freedoms". I fought because there is something animalistic about fighting with another human being to the death, it's almost like a high, but nothing can match it.
Only a pathetic cuck wouldn't want to experience such a pleasure. It's godlike.
Parker Collins
I'm as civvy as it gets my good man. But wasn't it good that you got him anyway? Did you not want to strike fear into their recon efforts? What would wetting the position in front of his firing position do keep dust from shooting up so he can't see?
Landon Watson
> what do you do with enemy KIA
You piss on them and laugh at the fact that they tried to kill you and failed, which is why they are being pissed on.
Gabriel Harris
then get dishonorably discharged by hillary clinton cause obongo is a secret muslim terrorist
Robert Walker
kek
Jordan Jones
>be boot Marine on 2nd deployment >Iraq >on normal patrol waiting to get killed by 155 stuffed inside a wall or some stupid shit >gunfight erupts > get war boner >shit...faggots engaged us from other side of river > RPG hits near by >lightbulbidea.jpeg >pull cold war era LAW off my back and prep it to fire >BACK BLAST AREA ALL CLEAR >stand up >yell across the river "I AM THE LAW!" >Fire >miss target >nobody on my side shooting anymore >everyone laughing their asses off >dune coons break contact
Sebastian Anderson
not killing him would have meant more gun fights later with larger elements to slay.
Hudson Rodriguez
take them back if possible for intel exploitation, once that's complete drop them off at local morque in Iraq... in afghanistan...take to closest village and give remains to elder to bury
Jeremiah Kelly
There's nothing pleasurable about modern day war. You're shooting at people you can't even see. There's no honorable dash in a hailstorm of bullets to rescue your friend from being pinned down, no heroic music as you take cover and blast your targets one by one.
All it was, a lot of shouting, a lot of shooting, mostly at nothing, random whiz and bangs, rinse, repeat, and adrenaline too high to notice anything important happen.
He would have broken contact immediately if he hadn't gotten shot in the face. They usually get away in probing attacks like that. Just wasn't that bitch's day.
Parker Fisher
There was heroic music playing in the background in old war?
Carter Jackson
In their heads there probably was. Some old Prussian cavalryman jamming out to Bach
Michael Hall
did you fight on Hapilon's side? fucking mudslimes in muh country.
Ryder Lee
to be fair it was most likely too dark to see clearly. once the flashlight was shone was when they realized it wasn't a piece of couch
Daniel Edwards
He's just a grunt. he says. not special forces. And he said something about working with tanks.
Isaiah Jenkins
>Destroyed buildings all around, I heard the shouts of arabic and gunfire. >Flashback years >Be Me went into the recruiter at 18 >Got weird vibes at the recruiter. >Should have known better >whyamihere.jpeg >I decide to toughen up. >Put on my war face >Realized joining without being an officer will suck. >Didn't Join. >First Few sentences are from my vacation in Europe. >The End.
Jaxon Scott
I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a shitty fucking LT.
Parker Jenkins
lol im not even in asia dude
Evan Harris
interesting, he's sure as hell not gonna be fighting turkey or any rebel groups or the SAA so probably won't see any combat
Anthony Jenkins
>still boot Marine on 2nd deployment >still Iraq >rash of dickheads zipping around town lighting up dismounted patrols with AK fire >SOP gets changed to have 203 gunners to have a TP round in the tube on dismounted patrols to mark drive by niggers >sitting in 240 turret waiting for EOD to come blow up 102mm rocket some lucky prick tripped over >hear squad to north on the radio call in SPOTREP about getting lit up by drive by niggers >"contact was marked with TP round" > everyone in truck giggles because now two assholes are driving around town covered in fucking neon orange dust >looking down the road >see two dickheads come around corner on dirtbike covered in neon orange dust >shoulder pressure, DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE >drive by niggers careen into palm tree dead as shit > Vehicle Commander is laughing hysterically trying to call this shit in to the COC > dismounted squad's squad leader that got lit up gave me a fresh pack of socks his mom sent him for slaying their drive by nigger
Eli Sanders
I know Americans are generally pretty dumb, and people that go into the military even more so. But I expected some amount of discipline, you all sound like developmentally delayed children.
Covering each other in chem flare shit, firing LAWs as a joke? How do you do that shit and still keep your "jobs"?
Aiden Foster
I don't believe you
Robert Hall
That's a relief.
Zachary Morales
>drive by niggers careen into palm tree dead as shit Top Kek
Grayson Phillips
>be at an OP in afghanistan >share OP with boston national guard >the ANG just down the hill are making sweet bread >we send a private down to get some >comes back with one piece >fuck those stingy boyfucking sandmonkeys >idea >get skinny black private from boston NG >strip him down to nothing but pt shorts rolled up to be booty shorts >make him go ask for some >but act all sexy and shit >comes back 20 minutes later >has an entire stack of sweet bread
they're all dirty fucking pedos dude. man love thursday is no joke.
Ian Richardson
Nice copy pasta, shows how many newfags are here.
Logan Cook
When you win a war for making a couple of rice crispies, you'll understand leaf. Until then, don't question the logic of the US military.
Adam Peterson
>I am a glow in the dark nigger
Juan Brooks
This thread is for the interesting stories
Colton Reyes
...
Xavier Wright
not even a muslim either
Joshua Turner
The 737 is more likely the total figure if you end it using the Clinton Foundation. Maybe even higher after the administration costs.
Alexander Butler
Sorry, what war were you in that you won? Do Americans actually consider Iraq a success?
Jayden Parker
>still boot Marine on 2nd pump >Iraq again > 4 hours of fire watch >0600-1000 > get on post and do change over > horny as fuck >whip out dick and beat meat furiously >blow load on plywood wall right in front of me and secure my dick >pick up rifle and scan field of fire >"Finally someone who knows how to stand post!" >who the fuck is this? look behind me...company commander > CO walks into post and says he's going to hang out with me since I'm not a shit bag and am actually watching my post. >nervously shift to obscure drying cum on wall from his field of view and continue to watch field of fire through RCO. >40 minutes have gone by since I got on post >CO stand entire remainder of post with me >never finds out I had just rubbed one out 10 seconds before he came up behind me.
Eli Gray
anyone who joins the military is fucking retarded. not a hero, just fucking retarded. they derserve what they get.
Jayden Perry
...
Easton Powell
>Iraq >rice crispies 2/10 bait, better luck next time.
Dylan Martinez
>they derserve what they get valuable life experience and benefits?
Hudson Morales
>FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO STAND POST
...at this moment I hope you realized the odds were 50/50 that he was actually commenting on the fact that you just threw your kids on the plywood.
Aaron Brown
Qanon predicted this
Levi Turner
holy shit lmao
Joshua Flores
I don't get it, is that some kind of military slang? Rice krispies suck.
Anyways, funny stories. Just expected more discipline during operations.
Charles Martinez
He fucking knew, dude. He fucking knew.
Camden Williams
Why do you wet the ground?
Dominic Sanders
>shower shoe Marine on 1st pump >convoying through valley >see shit bag taliban fighter late to the ambush with an RPG across the valley >he's hauling ass to get into position >MK19 burst from rear VIC ruins his plans >mfw we initiated their ambush > dismount because we want to fight >freezing fucking cold and road runs through a fucking rice paddy > Advance with convoy and other dismounts through kill zone deliberately >PKMs open up >ohshitnigger.jpeg >everyone goes for cover...in the fucking rice paddies >fuck that, too cold... continue walking down road and returning fire >SGT screams for me to take cover >"nah fuck that, it's too cold" > ID PKM position because I'm not willing to get wet and can still see > direct fire onto PKM >PKM gunner gets smoked by 203 round from my team leader >get Combat V device for not wanting to get wet as a PFC
Matthew Cook
Bro. He def fucking knew, and was prob having a laugh at the TOC about pfc dickhard jackin it on guard.
Jonathan Green
Prevents dust giving POS away
Nicholas Reyes
when the weapon fires and it's close to the ground, dust gets kicked up from the gases leaving the barrel. If that boot fuck had wet the ground, no dust...and he probably would have lived.
Samuel Williams
that's LCPL dickhard to you.
Samuel Howard
I remember reading this pasta on /k/ at least months before Trump was elected.