Stannis Baratheon - Character rant by Jezebel

Sourced: jezebel.com/
Ashley Reese on Game of Thrones

"Anyone notice how me and men with receding hairlines don't get along? lol."

"Okay, I Recently wrote an article on why I fucking loathe Game of Thrones, but I decided to go into a bit more detail with my 'nitpicking' here. There's one character in this steaming pile of shit which I hate more than all the rest (yes, even Ned Stark), and that would be Stannis Baratheon. Stannis is a walking memento to the patriarchy, with his bullshit 'tough guy' attitude, and seemingly inept ability to shave properly, his fanbase refers to him as, and I quote, "Stannis the Mannis". Now, I'm sure you can see what my problem is with this. Yep. Alluding to the fact that he's a straight, cis white male womanizer is totally okay. This is an example of modern day sexism, ladies. I'm not even joking here.

In the series, I watched a couple of his scenes (they were unbearable to sit through without wanting to punch the screen). Guess what he does first? HE CHEATS ON HIS FUCKING WIFE. Yep. You heard me, he fucking cheats on his wife. What a disgusting waste of a human life. Well, he coaxes a woman named Melissandre into having unprotected sex with him, and he forcefully impregnates her with his demon baby. Later, she has to suffer as she gives birth to his abomination, all while his right hand man, Sir Davos, watches in horror. It's a disgusting scene, and, if I didn't hate Stannis enough already, he sends this demon baby to kill one of the only LGBT characters on this entire show. Stannis, fuck you. Just fuck you.

After the LGBT character Renly's death, Stannis doesn't even give a shit that he murdered his own brother. And he fucks around with Melissandre again, who is visibly uncomfortable. I watched on, and when I viewed the 'Blackwater' episode, I was mortified. Stannis' intentions are clear - destroy the city, rape the women and children, and destroy everything. He even went first into battle. I stopped watching here."

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=OLNFloNdJH4
jezebel.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Fucking kill me now.

This is gay. Sage.

Book Stannis was an honorable man, which is why HBO had to twist him into something else. This author is an ignorant twat.

THIS IS NOW A STANNIS THREAD
BEND THE KNEE OR BE DESTROYED
youtube.com/watch?v=OLNFloNdJH4

wtf I love Stannis now

This is factually wrong.
>witch seduces HIM, not the other way around
>it was just a normal baby, she made it a demon
>if she suffered, it was her own fault for using magic n' shit
>he didn't tell her to assasinate Renly (?)
>nobody knew Renly was gay besides like four people
Women, amirite?

Everyone show your support for Stannis against his haters.

>jezebel.com/
Is giving a direct link to the article too fucking complicated for you? Do you expect me to look through the whole site or just to take your word, that this was written there?

>disgusting waste of human life
exactly how i feel about anyone associated with jezebel brainlets.

>Stannis' intentions are clear - destroy the city, rape the women and children, and destroy everything
>believing tyrion's obvious rhetoric
jesus christ, what a brainlet

I didn't start this, theres been like 4 other posts relating to this cunt on Jezebel, I'll link the other posts:

this
stannis was my favorite character in the books and they destroyed him in the show
its funny because kids who never read the books still love stannis despite that because they managed to make him look badass

My dead favorite in GOT. He was into big politics. After him I do not mind who wins.

I think their were rumors because Brene knew but then again she had a crush on a man who would never appreciate her as a potential lover and was only nice to her possibly because she was manly.

So do you just go to shit websites and look for stuff that makes you angry?

reminder

we still haven't seen his corpse, right?

I don't think we're watching the same show.

I have to agree, even if the two last digits of your post are very problematic.
Stannis is a monumental epitome of shitlord.
>claims to be the most experienced military commander in Seven Kingdoms
>loses one major battle after another
>only can win against barely armed refugees
>insist on attacking Winterfell even after it's clear that he is outnumbered and most of his army deserted him (for a good reason)

I cannot think of a bigger asshole than him. Cheats on his wife, kills his own daughter, leads his men into a certain death, imprisons his best advisor...
If this is 'the best male figure' and 'stannis the Mannis' then no wonder that by the end of season 6 almost all Westeros is ruled by women.
Enlightened Matriarchy is the future and not just for the Seven Kingdoms.

>Implying a woman is wrong
Boy, are you in for a ride

>NO YOUR JUST NOT WATCHING IT ON FEMINISM YOU RACIST FASCIST

there's no way to know it would've been a normal baby, she's an ancient witch. He almost certainly told her to assassinate Renly because Renly's forces severely outnumbered Stannis', and it was in his best interests to preserve their numbers so they could just flock to the next legitimate Baratheon heir. It was an open secret among the gentry of the country that Renly was gay. Your point stands that this author doesn't know what she's talking about, but my autism insisted upon a few corrections.

>Stannis comes riding in at the vanguard of the golden company

Only way to make this show good again

I stopped watching when Stannis """died"""

Stannis is /ourking/

>nobody knew Renly was gay besides like four people
....

I hate how the show makes it look like he was ever excited to fuck her, in the book he clearly hates her and only grudgingly goes along with her magick because he's in such a bad position. By the end of the 3rd book he's legit done with her witchery and tells the R'hollorists in his army to cut their shit out and pray harder if they want, but stop burning things.

He's not a king, he's a usurper a brother and uncle of usurpers.
Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of HER Name, the Mother of Dragons and the Breaker of Chains is the only legitimate ruler of Seven Kingdoms.

Ned (PBUH) was by far the best male figure

I'm sure this person hasn't watched the shows. Stannis was basically asexual. He didn't really want to have anything to do with his wife or the red witch.

The entire character was based around honor and duty to the rule of law and the people of Westeros.

If she wants to hate a womanizer, why doesn't she hate King Robert?

This is trolling. It's completely dishonest on all fronts. Stannis doesn't have a tough guy attitude, if anything Robert and Renly are more aggressive in threats. The Melissandre sex, she seduces him. He has a scene where he's completely lost after the Battle of the Blackwater where he says "I murdered my brother" disgusted and ashamed and stunned by his own actions. And Renly threatened to murder Stannis and all his men. I don't know why so many people fault Stannis for the murder of Renly, it was to save himself and all his loyal men.

Stannis legit hangs people for raping wildlings. Sacking a city is never good, but it would be ten times more merciful than when Tywin took it.

Those show fucks removed his savage burn against Renly. Stannis is outrageously funny, but his inherent autism makes his jokes go over brainlet's heads.

Renly: "She came to my bed a maid."
Stannis: "In your bed she's like to stay one."

>Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of HER Name, the Mother of Dragons and the Breaker of Chains is the only legitimate ruler of Seven Kingdoms
Trudeau please

Stannis is the one true king

>leaf
>Trudeau joke

Yeah... when Daenarys dies next season come talk to me bud. Jon Snow will be king.

I would jizz at the sight, charging the line with his burning sword slashing up Dragon whores, Bastard's boys and Dothraki savages. Teaming up with Jon Con and Aegon to appoint them as high lords, an arrangement made after slaying their champion.

Book Stannis is more like pic related than what they had in the show. Stannis is an autistic badass, but deep down has a good heart. His sense of duty is drives him to his end, and also HE NEVER BURNS HIS DAUGHTER IN THE BOOKS BECAUSE HE LOVES HER AND LEFT HER AT THE WALL

>MY favorite turd is better than YOUR favorite turd
Yeah whatever dude

Because it, like all leftists, is a bitter angry creature that can only derive pleasure by ruining something somebody else loves.
They are basically demons at this point.
They don't care about change.
Causing pain is the only thing they live for.

>holds Storm's End for over a year
>nearly takes the capital city, his defeat only the result of a surprise attack that was unanticipated by everyone, even his opponents in Kings Landing
>Smashes the Wildings, an army of over 100,000, with only 1,500 men.
>book Stannis, clearly luring the bulk of Bolton forces to him, most likely to fall through ice

You're a dumb bitch. Clear showfag, try reading nigger

CAN YOU NOT SHILL FOR USURPERS? CAN YOU NOT?

he could have atoned for his crimes against the Crown and bent the knee before the real ruler (Queen Daenerys).
What he does instead?
>Muh honor muh pride muh claim
>doesn't even have an army to achieve his goal, no one likes him, has to rape a woman and murder his own kin with his child and steal the bannermen
>the bannermen still like Renly and hate Stannis
>still fails to take the capital
>muh 'best commander in Westeros' defeated by a LITERAL MANLET
>borrows money from the Braavosi Federal Reserve
>leads his men into defeat, fucks up everything again
>doesn't even care who will have to pay his denbts now

Wew what a nice king he would have been. Even Geoffry would seem decent in comparison.

Post modernist deconstructionalism. It's easier to pick apart and destroy something then it is to build up and create something.

That's basically the back bone of modern leftism.

Yeah, four other posts, but curiously they don't link to the particular quote from jezebel. So don't link the other posts. Link the original article.
Unless you're doing this on purpose, trying to manufacture outrage and sell it as an example of "Sup Forums fake news". In which case I have some harsh words for you.

>CAN YOU NOT SHILL FOR USURPERS? CAN YOU NOT?
Right of conquest nigger. Her family got beat and thrown out. Now it's the Barathians/Lannisters at the top. Technically SHE is the usurper currently until she takes back the crown in which the right of conquest will apply again.

Hahaha typical...
It's Melissandre that manipulates Stannis into doing things her way. The whole demon child is her idea, she's the witch. Yet the article makes her out to be the victim lol.

The feminist cries out in pain as she strikes you...

Come on democrat, It's spelled 'Joffrey'.

>getting paid to write hateful fagsnark blog posts
Glad I got a trade.

>Daenarys dies next season

SHUT THE FUCK UP
She is the only legitimate ruler. She is the only one who has a plan.

>Jon Snow will be king

No. Just no.
Westeros is already ruled by women. All major houses are fully controlled by women, both queens are in charge. D&D are both against misogyny and they will not allow the power to fall into the hand of men again.
Jon will bend the knee before Queen Daenerys, just like everyone else.

God, you're the literal definition of a cuck. I'm sorry, did you write this article on Stannis? Do you work for Jezebel? It all makes sense now. Daenarys Slutborn and whoever the fuck else is ruling can go suck King Stannis' golden cock. Because STANNIS IS THE ONLY KING I'll bow to.

>Btw, I'm a fascist

Please, don't feed the animals sir

You probably are right I bet you learn a lot about this TV show while you wait for your gf to finish fucking her chad

>Now it's the Barathians/Lannisters at the top.

Traitors and usurpers. They can't even rule, they have failed at everything. Useless shitlords.

Stannis, Benjen (fully undead), Jon, and Bran will team up together and kill Daenarys the Mad Queen, and take the throne back. Stannis will be rightful King, Benjen will be his commander, Jon will be hand of the King, and Bran will be the warg who gathers all intel for the new council.

Ew you even use the word shitlord lol

Yeah, I had to stop watching the show when the (((show writers))) got to exert more control and take the story off the rails. All honorably/masculine men were killed off. Everyone left is a beta boipucci who bends the knee for the STRONK INDEPENDENT WOMYN that now control everything, like Cersei and Dany. Need to appeal to that "YASS QUEEN SLAAAY" crowd.

...

>you're the literal definition of a cuck

oh yeah, i'm not a pro-patriarchy nazi and i do respect women so i guess it means i'm a 'cuck'

also
>>Btw, I'm a fascist
>supports a literal failure, usurper and shitlord

like pottery

>Daenarys Slutborn

That's fucking it. You've insulted the Mother of Dragons and the Breaker of Chains.
Prepare to be turned into a crisp, nazi.

>King Stannis'

he's a balding shitlord who failed like a cuck, he will never be a king
KILLED BY A WOMAN

>inb4 b-but muh book, it was different

doesn't matter, doesn't count

Damn them, it was such a sudden 180, if you try watching a season 1-3 episode its a completely different show. If your looking for something good that's like it without them* I recommend rome.

Exactly. last year I rewatched Season 1 and it was so refreshing how fucking good it was. Well-paced, strong male leads, good world-building and internal consistency, etc. Now watch the last few seasons and it's utter dogshit.

And frankly those sex scenes were hot, even with Famke Janssen being in her 50’s.
Anything from Wonkette or Jezebel is misandrist cancer.

Stannis isn't even dead, cuckold. He's alive and well, plotting in secret. I honestly think you're a troll.

>Nazi

I'm an Italian fascist, not a fucking nazi.

Fuck you! John Snow is king of the North, and the best king. He’s so badass that someone else’s god ressurected him.

Season 1 was pure kino

Everyone knew he was a faggot

>Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of HER Name, the Mother of Dragons and the Breaker of Chains is the only legitimate ruler of Seven Kingdoms.

John Targaryen, only son of the lawfully wed Lyannah Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen is the rightful ruler of Westeros, and the King in the North.

>I'm not even joking here.
We know you aren't joking. That's why you're a pathetic loser and we laugh at you.

For real. His entire downfall was because of a fucking female. That's the actual story.

Her dynasty lost the right to rule when her father broke the feudal contract and the duties towards his lords

STANNIS DID NOTHING WRONG

two females, If you are counting the stupid cunt who beheaded him

>Giving Jezebel hits

Come on

>Well, he coaxes a woman named Melissandre into having unprotected sex with him, and he forcefully impregnates her with his demon baby. Later, she has to suffer as she gives birth to his abomination, all while his right hand man, Sir Davos, watches in horror.
The bitch came onto him.

Only Jaime can save this shitshow now

>Stannis' intentions are clear - destroy the city, rape the women and children, and destroy everything
The age old tactic of sacking the city you want to reclaim