Can you really claim to be red-pilled while going about your day with a nasty ass?

Seriously, why the FUCK are there people with Internet access, yet they have dirty, un-bidet'd asses?
>the best clean possible for your ass
>even Pajeet has a cleaner ass than you if you don't use a bidet
>get rid of swamp-ass and related illnesses, change your life with the cleanliness
inb4:
>wet wipes
No comparison, idiot. I hope you like having a chapped ass from wiping Jew chemicals all over your ass and clogging plumbing with "flushable" wipes
>eww, you mean it sprays water up your asshole? It's going to spray shit everywhere?
That's not how it works, idiot. Try actually using one properly instead of just imagining what it will be like; it will change your life
>just shower after you shit!
Not everyone has shower access at every toilet, nor time to dry off.

There is absolutely no excuse for not using a bidet. You can even get them as an attachment for standard toilets. Stop making excuses, stop walking around with a nasty ass while claiming to be red-pilled, and change your life forever by starting to use a bidet.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=zKb8CCXG5jQ
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

ok

Fellow ameribro, please make the change. Don't be another Sharty McSwampass mutt like the rest of them.

How do they even work? I've never used one. Is it gay to have water shoot up your ass?

It sprays water (hot, cold, warm, whatever you want) on your ass to clean the refuse away. The "shooting water directly up your asshole" is a meme, although you can get models that give you an enema if you want. Most don't.
Before bidet:
>take shit
>grab toilet paper
>wipe until you see no more streaks, using as many papers as possible until you're satisfied
>sometimes you get lucky and have a one-wipe-wonder, otherwise you are going to be dirty all day
After bidet:
>take shit
>wash with bidet
>gently pat dry with a single cloth

It's so much better and cleaner and less costly on the paper. Plus you aren't wiping wood fibers directly on your ass. Some bidet models even have pulsating functions, or driers included, etc.
Far superior.

That isn't what swamp ass is nor is it preventative. You must have never been in a warm humid climate in your life to make such a claim.

Swamp ass, or at least the smell, is caused by not having a bidet'd ass. Ideally you combine the bidet with wearing the ideal fabric for the season to avoid the humidity. Together they are a godly combo.

Also this is a symptom of how fucking pathetic we have gotten as a society. Infrastructure breaks down for a few days and people literally wouldn't be able to clean their own asses. Have you soyboy pantywaists ever left the suburbs for more than 6 hours at a time?

I live in Georgia so I am no stranger to humidity. I couldn't imagine how many fucking mutts are walking around with their last shit smeared all over their ass.
In an emergency you could use any water source as an alternative. Some even have plastic bottles (portable bidets) to do the same job.
The idea is that water is absolutely necessary for a clean ass. Just using paper is a fucking travesty.

Water shoots at an angle rather than straight up the void.

>youtube.com/watch?v=zKb8CCXG5jQ
First commercial in Japan that led to widespread use of washlets(bidet)

Even if you can't understand the words, it gets the point across well imho

These people got it right. No wonder they don't like westerners.

goblins know about bidets?
what an improvement

I am literally alone among my peers with this. I don't fucking understand how this isn't a bigger thing. The US is a fucking third-world country in comparison to other countries with bidet culture.

I bought a bidet attachment and there's really a nice difference compared to just toilet paper.
Have a free bump OP

See, even a Costa Rican has a cleaner ass than most Americans.
I just don't get it. But thanks for the bump, my clean-assed friend.

Not to mention the sheer number of people who only wipe until they feel it's clean. i.e. they don't look at the paper.

sounds cool, I don't think it's a priority though, just a luxury. Still wouldn't mind having one. Do you sit down on it or something?

tfw

>hosting a friend from europe in my californian apartment

>he has had a long flight, asks to use the restroom

>he's in there for a long time.

>he comes out, "So, I don't get it -- do Americans just have dirty assholes all the time?"

We are truly an inferior culture until we get bidets. On the other hand, it feels very masculine to be covered in my own shit all the time.

No, you squat over the type in the OP pic.
There are also ones that attach to the standard toilet (that you're already sitting on - just reach over and push the button)
I do not consider them a luxury one bit, but an absolute necessity. You can get ones that attach to the standard toilet for 30-50$ at the least.
Also they can clean women's nethers good as well, as another benefit I forgot to mention.
I remember when I used to do this, just wiping until I felt no more "slippery"ness or no more streaks on the paper. Fucking gross.

Saves massive amounts of toilet paper and bleeding depending on hairiness and sensitivity of the region

Yep, hairiness was another thing. Americans feel they have to shave everything to paedophile-friendly levels so that their shit doesn't get caught in the hairs.
If only they knew there was a better solution.

Is there anyone else who thinks that bidets are disgusting?

This.
I am pretty certain that throwing water against an asshole is just going to get shit water all over your ass.
At least with toilet paper the shit is contained around the butthole, or rather the miniscule amount left.
Just shower every day. Wash ya ass.

Nothing is more disgusting than being okay with walking around having your own shit all over your ass because all you had to clean with was paper.
Tell me, if you were walking barefoot for some reason, and stepped in dog shit, would you be okay with just wiping it off with a cloth, or would you immediately search for a sink or something to rinse that shit off?
I rest my case.
You clearly haven't used a bidet, which is one of the prerequisites for having an opinion on a bidet. They don't have the effect that you're picturing in your head.

it's called baby wipes, you idiot. You can even just wet your toilet paper or some light paper towels. No need to install a fucking half-toilet half sink monstrosity that simply clutters up the smallest room in the house.

Side note: ever wonder why your asshole is itching like crazy sometimes? It's because you didn't wipe good enough and bacteria in your doodoo has infected your anus.

It is clear you have never used one then.

If your hands get dirty, you wash your hands. If your bunghole gets dirty, you wash your bunghole. Its a pretty simple concept that does not involve pressure washers at 10000psi

Already covered, nasty-assed idiot.
Wet wipes are a pale imitation. I hope you like having a chapped asshole from wiping a mixture of Jew chemicals and your own shit all over your ass. People who compare wet wipes to bidets have obviously never used a bidet.
Also, there are standard toilet bidets that require no additional electricity or hookup other than the water line already going into your toilet. See pic related, 35$ and it can be installed with only a goddamn screwdriver.
What's your next failed excuse, you nasty-assed mongrel?
Because you didn't bidet.
Woke.

I just took a big meaty shit from eating an entire chicken for lunch and a 1.5 pound steak for dinner yesterday. Smeared that shit up with some cheap toliet paper and called it a day.
The Virgin Bidet vs The Chad Poop Smear

You're supposed to use toilet paper first, to get rid of the bigger stains. Only after you're "dry", you use the bidet to finish the job

it's pansies like this that caused an entire generation of americans to be wimps

just wipe your shit with TP, or if you're in the wild with leaves or sleeve and be done with it you wimp

What type of attachment is good?

HILARIOUS THREAD GET IN HERE
>>/fit/45054613
>>/fit/45054718

...

Imagine being so poor you don't own a bidet.

>Not everyone has shower access at every toilet
Why would you use more than one toilet to shit?

Not to mention I imagine someone else (or even myself) using it previously and their feces getting sprayed all over it, including on the nozzle, and then the nozzle spraying someone else’s feces on me.

Another thing that adds to their grossnes for me is that most of them do not have a cover like toilets do. I am the type of person who closes the lid on the toilet because I think it is disgusting to see inside it when I am in the bathroom to brush my teeth or groom myself, so having a bidet would be like having to stare into an open sink for feces.

I really want a bidet personally but I have no space in my bathroom, gonna get one eventually.

>t. fucking degenerate with a nasty ass
just search it on Amazon if you have a standard toilet. The cheaper models (~30$) use just water, but higher models have heated seats, warm water, pulsating functions, or even a drier (for really high-end models)
Just read the reviews. Toto Washlets are also amazing, like the Cadillac of bidets, but they can require electrical hookups and are much more expensive.
This, fucking mutts will pay for McDonalds but not for a bidet.
Maybe they're at work, etc, and there isn't a shower at those toilets. In which case a portable bidet can help.
The nozzle retracts when not in use. You think they didn't figure this shit out already? Quit imagining stuff and actually use one.
>no cover
Then just get one that attaches to a standard toilet if you're worried about scarring your eyes for eternity with such a glorious device.
Get the one that attaches to a standard toilet. See as an example. They are cheap and do the job well for the price (30$ for basic model)

There's no way these spray at high enough pressure to scrap all the buttmud off my ass, but somehow don't make a huge mess.

They can and they do. You'd be surprised how well it works after never having tried one.

The Toto ones are nice, used them at the Hilton. I still enjoy my classic at home, especially with brass fixtures and white marble.
For real, you could eat Ramen for a week and have the cleanliness of a god with a bolt on.

So the $30 ones work fine? I don't like buying these kind of things and they be piece of garbage that break in a week

Does it take an hour or what? What's the pressure comparable to?

ill take 3

Sup Forums still surprises me

>ramen
More like your personal post-taco bell assistant

Does the dial correspond to different foods?
>oh shit, better turn it to "Indian" today

Been showering my ass after shitting for over a year now. I don't feel like a sub-Indian anymore.

>it can be installed with only a goddamn screwdriver
>not a spanner and PTFE tape
really lad? you probably haven't turned a wrench in your entire life.

I mean, there's not much to break, it just diverts some water from the water line already going to your toilet out of a nozzle. The nozzle uses the pressure to retract/extend when not in use, so you won't shit all over it, and you don't have to worry about electrical either.
You can set better models to different pressures but basic ones are plenty to clean even the dirtiest Sharty McSwampass mutt butts.
kek, maybe it does
I did this too at first, while waiting for my bidet to be delivered. It's a huge leap in the right direction.
You know what I meant you memeflaggot. The idea was that anyone can install it.

post a time stamped pic of your bidet or you have a shitty arse

Is there a better feeling than farting while using a bidet?

cause i think my toilets literally constipated from all the paper just look at the poor thing

Fuck off
Haven't found one yet, true friend.

Maybe a push connect or crimp rings with a tee, no ptfe since it doesn't need it's own water line unless you insist on getting a full size rather than a toilet attachment

They have the magic wand that pokes out and sprays your b-hole too, so you do not have to feel like a British d-bag while using one.

I've been meaning to get one, but its low down on the priority list, after
>getting a job
>moving out of my moms basement
etc

those are Chinese POS

30$ for a standard toilet attachment one as soon as you can afford it, until then shower after every shit as much as possible, and welcome to the new, clean world that awaits you

I just wipe and then wet some toilet paper and wipe some more then dry off. What's the problem?

Thanks, I didn't even know you could buy attachable ones thats fucking great I can't wait to enter a new era of anal enlightenment that caters to the man with excessive arse hair.

Quit being poor.

The shit isn't 100% removed from your ass, more like smeared/pushed around
Not to mention toilet paper is meant to disintegrate in water, so you get wet fibers all over your ass
Bidets are an absolute godsend if you refuse to conform to the pedophile-friendly-shaved-genitals-and-ass aesthetic. Godspeed.
Ascended.

Like who cares are you going to gestapo check my ass queer. Mabye you'll rape it too Fucking fag. Fucking girls in the ass is faggity.

Don't get mad leaf, bidets could even help you wash your dog's shit off of your own dick.

I suffer from constipation, so I only take a shit every couple of days, and when I do I'm at home so I just shower afterwards. No need for a bidet on my end

right. so some water spray is going to clean my ass better than a paper rag.

when you shower do you just rinse off with water?

i cant beleive i have to say tjis but

dry wipe. wipe with wet rag. wipe with dry rag. repeat until all the shit is gone.

Checkmate I always make my poops in the shower. Since I only eat undercooked burgers my shit is liquid and flows nicely down the drain. At that point I simply rinse out my anus in the shower and proceed about my day.

Bidets are a disgusting relic.

Idiot it just Splash's shit all over your ass. So you still smell like shit. Fucking gross dude. Do I type like I fuck my dog Jesus christ the absolute state of murrica.

I use a hose to spray down my car before wiping it with a rag to clean off gunk. Then I hose again and wipe it dry. Same with bunghole. This ain't rocket science user.

It's fucking soyboy tier.

Yes, it is.
>wiping repeatedly with differently-moistened paper until you feel like you're done
How is this better though, really? See:
No bidet:
>take shit
>grab toilet paper
>wipe until you see no more streaks or feel no more slippery, using as many papers as possible until you're satisfied
>switch to wet paper and continue wiping until no more streaks on paper
>sometimes you get lucky and have a one-wipe-wonder, otherwise you are going to be dirty all day
With bidet:
>take shit
>wash with bidet (15 seconds max)
>gently pat dry with a single cloth
You save paper and your asshole doesn't get irritated from wood pulp fibers.
You clearly haven't used a bidet nor know how they work. Please use a bidet at least once before garnering an opinion.
Woke, this is the next step actually. But we start people off slowly with bidets.
Woke.

Or maybe it saves a money and chapped ass. But what would a leaf know, huh? Keep on keepin on with your 3 rolls of 1ply sandpaper using ass.

Anything that stimulates the prostate is Fucking gay. Next you'll be telling me to use a dragon dildo

Bidets don't work like this my dude.
>Could Bidets be the last stand of implicit white identity?

>bidet
>stimulated prostate
troll detected but thanks for the bumps

Bidets strip protective mucus from the anus and dry it out, making it more likely to crack, bleed, and become infected

Son. Keep on drinkin that soy. How many cartons till you have gains?

>prostate stimulation
On the anus.

The absolute state of leafposters

As opposed to wiping dry wood fiber and/or jew chemical wipes directly on your ass?

>I prefer to brapp my wife after just toilet paper
Fucking Leafs are subhuman

So what else does it do? Make the hot girl fuck you? Make your dick bigger? Wait it just gets you turned on by a guy Fucking your ass. Disgusting.

>22 posts by this ID (OP)
Why are you shilling so hard for bidets?

Because they are seriously that fucking awesome and a huge red-pill
Having an OP with this many replies is only weird on nu-pol too, back in the day this was the norm

>Hot girl comes to your house.
>Has stank ass.
>Decides not to fuck you because you don't have a bidet.
poorvirgin.exe

Heard estrogens from the water up the asshole is a great way to become more degenerate and more libtard

>Not having your own well.
>Not owning a bidet.

Not much is more degenerate than fucking your dog bucko

>projecting: the post

But they sure can handle tyrones stank ass right? Kk soygoy shill for shitsplashing and chemicals up yo ass

>Not everyone has shower access at every toilet, nor time to dry off.
Not everyone has access to a bidet, nigger!

I'd say a woman who would fuck you with shit all over your ass is not worth going after. Literal mudshark. I know you've got a serious complex going after this, give one a try. This is what civilized people do.

Says the abdula nazgula. Who wants everyone to play with there ass while he goes and fucks there goats.

They are as cheap as $30 attachments that bolt onto the existing toilet.

See Also there are portable bidets too

I wipe 2 times every time. No matter how much is left, 2 times is enough.

And you what think women use bidets are you stupid or something. Like fuck why can't people just wear polo smell like skittles all day long. Your the one with the problem if you can get dirty. I can only imagine how you have boring boomer sex.

Disgusting.

You are preaching to the wrong person. I shower after every time I go number two.

A bidet is nowhere near as effective as a shower.

Even toilet paper is more effective than a bidet. In fact, it can be even more effective than a shower, depending on your wiping and showering techniques.

The main thing that the water does is give you a feeling of cleanliness but unless you actually actively clean yourself, you are nowhere near clean.

Trust me, I have experimented plenty.

You can wipe yourself thoroughly with toilet paper until the paper comes out completely clean. The annoying thing is that it takes a while and wastes a lot of paper.

That is why I prefer showering. But even after a shower you can sometimes check yourself with toilet paper and find out that the paper does not come out completely clean. That means you need to improve your showering technique.

Which brings me to a bidet. A bidet is the most useless of them all. Unless you are an ape who does not care about absolute anal cleanliness, a bidet does not replace the clean fragrant feel of a shower and does not provide the rugged effectiveness of toilet paper. A bidet is a stupid gimmick for lazy people, a literal half-assed approach to hygiene.