>Hold it right there, old chap!
>I'm going to need to see your bicycle license. Bike wheels are rather dangerous weapons, what! By God, I heard someone's mother died to one!
Hold it right there, old chap!
Jeremiah Green
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Hudson Phillips
kek
bongs btfo
Evan Ross
Charles Brown
Here we go again.
>be American
>get shot
>die
James Brown
Oy constable. Where’s your god worshipping license? Can’t invoke the name of his holiness without one!
William Flores
>be british
>wake up at sunrise to the salat al-fajr blaring through every speaker in London
>wave at the CCTV camera while I'm taking a shower
>eat some shakshuka for breakfast because my wife's son says breakfast needs to be more diverse
>there's a letter in the transom saying I must pay my TV license because indocrination isn't free
>take the underground to work and get blown up by an innocent refugee
>wake up in the hospital getting free healthcare
>wave to the CCTV camera by my hospital bed
>hospital food is harira and fried grasshoppers since it's halal
>get a notice I hve to pay for my e-mail license
>realize I've been circumcised while I was unconscious, Dr. Patel says it's more sanitary this way
>Sharia Police runs into my room and demands to know why my wife's son isn't wearing a head scarf
>try to mansplain that he's a boy
>my wife's son says he doesn't identify that way anymore
>Sharia Police kill everyone in the room
>my beheaded body is paraded through the streets while everyone chants "fuck white people"
>the Guardian and Telegraph says they're worried about my public execution because it might cause islamophobia
>be buried in Highgate cemetery
>my bones are being monitored by CCTV
>have to renew my burial license next month
Nolan Rivera
whiter than you muhammad
Thomas Price
Underrated.
Robert Long
>Be Malaysian
>Be Muslim
>Commit suicide
Luke Hernandez
>Be non-American
>Get shot more, stabbed, disappeared, and generally culturally enriched
>Die without ever having been American
Noah Hernandez
>burial license
I seriously would not be surprised if that existed somewhere in this world.
Cameron Perez
>have to renew my burial license next month
Oi you forgot the beheading tax bruv that's an extra beheading
Gabriel Rogers
have you got a licence for that head sir
Ethan Fisher
I hate when Brits have freedom. How can we use the British government to regulate every minutiae of British life and also to force mass immigration and replacement of native Brits?
Owen Fisher
Brody Robinson
fuck you nigger kike mutt
Angel Jones
I reported you to MI5 for anti-doublethink racist posts on the internet. You'll thank me when the adjustment camps fix your brain think to be more in line with the immigration agenda. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Accept Muslim domination.
Michael Long
>...and generally culturally enriched
Spot the irony of an American being the one to admonish someone for this stupid shit
>Die without ever having been American
Nobody cares. Americans are the only people who think anyone else wants to be American. Go chug HFCS and take your anti-depressants.
Elijah Reyes
SHIT
Jaxon King
I can’t even laugh because it doesnt even sound far fetched anymore
Aiden Bell
>be on vacation in bongland
>see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk
>like a graceful penguin with gout
>follow her for a block
>working up courage
>gently touch her shoulder
“H-hello, I’m user. Y-you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?”
>she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag
>stares intently for a few moments
>then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence
“YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!”
>quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths
“FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON!
>she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it’s leg caught in a wood chipper
>head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table
>Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu
“ERE NOW, WATS THIS SHITE? IT’S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I’LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?”
>look at the menu. It’s in English, just a fancy script
>she shoves her menu at the waiter
“I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!”
“I’m sorry, madam, we don-“
“I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!”
>he slinks away without even taking my order
>Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket
>starts rubbing at her crotch
>brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles
“JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT’S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN’T WE?”
>look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check
>turn around
>Arya is slumped over the table
>raped to death by Pakis
Julian King
>Be malay
>Make 2k rm a month
>Gov blocks porn sites
>State sponsors islam
>Has rampant degeneracy(alcoholism, homosexuality) despite being "strict muslim"
>Prime minister steals your countries hard earned money and u cant do anything about it
>KL is your most developed city and its still a shithole an will never compare to the better singapore or taiwan
James Morales
Will bongs ever recover?
Jayden Lewis
Oh, look. It's this burger thread (again and again and again)
What's this I've found on youtube, you ask?
youtube.com
Parker Barnes
>Ah, that may be true, but everyone is automatically granted such a license in Sharia zones such as this.
>Toodle-oo!