>be me >decide to find pre-fame infos on Lauren Southern >find some stuff, mostly banal and benign >find the cell number of either Lauren or her friend >call it; rings out; reach generic voicemail; bail! >find Jess’s cell number >call it; reach CUSTOM voicemail! “hi, this is Jess Southern, … *flubs line* *blows raspberry* …l-” >bail just before the beep >tfw it’s real >tfw i have jess southern's cell number
I'm KICKING myself that I didn't record that first call. Trust that I will DEFINITELY record and share the next one.
The way I see it, we need two scripts: one for if she lets it go to voicemail and one for if she answers the call.
>VOICEMAIL (Easy mode) This is the easy one. We don't need to anticipate responses, just a monologue. Ideas: >Hi Jess, this is user from Fortune Paul. >Sorry to hear about Lauren in the UK, hope she's okay. >Some of Sup Forums is starting to get obsessed with you, via Lauren. >Your number's online; you should remove it. There are scary people out there. >I'm leaving you a voicemail message, and I'm comparatively normal for Sup Forums.
>SHE ANSWERS (Hard mode) >Here we need to have a conversation, like the humans do. We need to let her respond or at least acknowledge receipt of transmission. Surprisingly, muh autismo isn't helping. Hello? >Jess? Who is this? >... U GOT A PURDY MOUFF
I am clearly out of my depth here. I did my part – getting the number – now it's your turn.
>>> Is this legal? I mean, it's technically public information, since I found it online without knowing her... right?
I can make the call. I have the chat and the experience.
Robert Hughes
checked no more otherwise some other autist will find her # i ain't gonna call again until i get my story straight fuck off flagfag cuck flag, discarded
Jason Hill
Ahh yes the 'stralia hackman the most vigilant of Sup Forums solders
Colton Davis
Why would you act like an immature nigger? Do you want me to call you? Or better yet, break your fucking legs for you?
Jess isn't involved in politics. You are the lowest of the low harassing family members.
Wyatt Hernandez
Just call her and tell her >gas the kikes racewar now! 1488! post results
Luis Roberts
how about leave her alone instead of being a creepy beta orbiting faggot?
>There are scary people out there >I'm comparatively normal >we need to have a conversation, like the humans do You're fucking autistic mate, that's some scary shit, sounds like you're about to stalk her and shank her in the bushes somewhere. I'd call the cops on you if I was the chick, mean it too. While I can't force you stop this e-celeb nonsense, I'd urge you to reconsider. You've found Jess' number? Great. Don't share it, remove it and don't fucking call her, you don't know her.
Jack King
>Sup Forums solders webm related i'm not harrassing her, vlad. if i don't call, she won't remove the # from online. come on now, be more responsible like vlad says!
just keep calling her a coal burner until she hangs up
Adam Brooks
>i'm not harrassing her, vlad. if i don't call, she won't remove the # from online.
Does it not surprise you that you seem to be the only person who has searched for it... if you feel so strongly, call her and record it, why are you baiting about it.. does she have a reason to remove her number from online? Because.. people that dislike Lauren might want to harass her family?
Anthony Cook
>Does it not surprise you that you seem to be the only person who has searched for it I'm a trailblazer. >if you feel so strongly, call her and record it Why would I do that? I know it's legit. >does she have a reason to remove her number from online? Because.. people that dislike Lauren might want to harass her family? That'll work. >It's encouraged for people to dox themselves
Jose Phillips
first file or sandpaper the carbon off before applying flux and afterwards the solder .
Alexander Smith
>Start voice changer >Jess: Hello? >user: Jessica Southern if hang up now you will never hear from your sister again. >J: Wha wha? >A: Your sister is a subject of the crown and has been taken into the custody of the illuminated guard. We have begun the surgery have found a suitable African penis to attach in place of her clitoris. We're running out of type O blood and will begin using our reserves of HIV Nigger blood until every drop of hers is replaced. >J: What do you want!? Let my sister go! PLEASE I'll do anything!!!! >A: Send noodz with sharpie in pooper to this number within FIFTEEN MINUTES or Rotherham will be kind in comparison CLICK
Cooper Hill
Lots of people have their number online.. why should Jess censor hers? She's just an average girl.
Ayden Baker
I haven't had occasion to make one yet, having never soldered anything in my life, but thanks for the tip. >Lots of people have their number online No sane person I know. Even remotely "famous" people would never list their # online. Jess probably hasn't done a sweep because she's not the one seeking e-celeb, Lauren is, and it hasn't occurred to her that autists might do some weird shit to try to contact her.
Isaac White
Plenty of people have online profilers, like work profiles and contact details. There is even such a thing as a phone book...
I'm sure she can easily change it too. Like I said if you're so concerned why are YOU not letting her know?
Samuel Perez
Ok then, do your own thing Christian Weston Chandler, but you really have no right to be calling someone randomly like a creepy fucking stalker. Anyone ever calls her to say some mean shit, she'll figure out that her number is online and remove it or will simply change it. She doesn't need you huffing and puffing into her ear like a sperg. I'm not a white knight, I can't stop you and don't care all that much, but you are being autistic as fuck and I will call you out on it. This thread is cringe worthy mate.
Camden Lewis
>itt: op bought a burner phone and paid an american tourist to record a voice mail saying "hay its jess! XD"
Ryan Martinez
>OP went to a lot more trouble than using a browser for a little while unlikely
John Brooks
>overdramatic polish wambulance posting fuck off normie
Honestly dude just tell her you found her number online, where you found it and let her know you ain't a creeper, and that she should take her number down. Don't mean to white knight but what are you trying to achieve with this thread?
Aiden Phillips
"Watch yourself, there's some very dangerous people out there Jess... Me? I'm legion, I do not forgive, I do not forget, but I'm also relatively normal. You can trust me, I would never hurt you. No no no, please don't hang up, I want to protect you. I'd like to talk to you some more, hehe, you know... Like humans do. Can you teach me what it means to become a human?"
Tell her to meet you in the bushes, don't forget your trenchcoat bro. Keep telling yourself this is normal.
Ian Evans
Look at your first post you fucking retard and lay off that meth.
Jose Martinez
>"I'm legion" Seriously, you need to take you hand off it
Dylan Brown
Doing what you suggest is basically what I wanted to achieve, I guess.
Jordan Gutierrez
The retard is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a retard and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I’ve been found out".
Cameron Hall
"HAHA OKAY BRO"
Blake Thompson
The literary device of replacing a subject with another is fun, isn't it? >The Pole is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a retard and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I’ve been found out".
Jose Long
Nope, but having you sperg out is. I'm out of this thread now bucko, can't be arsed arguing with a mental case. Do you, but end of the day you are one creepy motherfucker. xo xo
Hudson Brooks
>signing out of a thread like this is a fucking forum see you later user!
Isaac Garcia
Thanks for the suggestions and insults. Here's where I'm up to.
VOICEMAIL (Easy mode) >Hi Jess, this is user from Sup Forums Sup Forums. I found your number online at [xxxx] and I suggest you remove it, since Lauren is making you known to Sup Forums weirdos like me. Sorry if this freaks you out. *click*
SHE ANSWERS (Hard mode) Hello? >Jess? Who is this? >This is user from Sup Forums Sup Forums. I found your number online at [xxxx] and I suggest you remove it, since Lauren is making you known to Sup Forums weirdos like me. Sorry if this freaks you out. *click*
Thoughts? In the second scenario, should I wait for her to respond before hanging up?
If you weren't autistic you would play it off by saying that you found the number at a public toilet or in a kangaroos pouch. Are you really Australian?
>play it off by saying that you found the number at a public toilet or in a kangaroos pouch. how would that help at all? I'd ask if you're really a swedecuck, but of course you are.
>Call repeatedly till she answers >Then activate your phoner mode and persist in trying to sell a Sup Forums gold membership
Ayden Sanchez
why does she stand with her foot like that in all her pictures? it looks retarded
Tyler Turner
>help her >her I didn't as how it'd help her, i asked how it'd help at all, i.e. why the fuck would i "play it off by saying i found it somewhere else". What is the point of that? >tfw you're the autist now
Leo Watson
to make her butt look better. it's very common with skanks/models these days.
Jacob Hernandez
I would do it because it's funny you dweeb.
Nicholas Sanchez
Thanks for coming to this thread, I was thinking that I was the most retarded retard here before you came along.
Wyatt Ortiz
So the Jews are trying to get lauren to turn on Sup Forumssters by playing the sister jealousy card. Good luck hebrews.
Brody Diaz
You still are. I've been laughing my ass off to this r9k tier thread.
Thats why things worked better in the 90's. There was more Macgyver (the old one, not those fag remastered versions that no one ever sees). >youtube.com/watch?v=UKTNWI0eYJ4
first OP cyberstalked an e-celeb. okay, it happens. Next OP saw the e-celeb's sibling's phone number and said ohh i should call it. like a fucking faggot 11 year old. Then OP thinks wow this will make a great thread! finally i'll get the respect i deserve from my online anime forum friends! Now OP has to defend himself for being such a faggy cunt. literally kill yourself you little shit.
