Your life sucks, right?

Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here! I can help with that! I can grant you any* one wish, and on top of this miracle, you will receive fearsome magic power! In exchange, you will be obligated to fight supernatural entities known as "witches," which threaten the safety of your fellow humans. This combat will be dangerous, but your powers will serve you, and you will be among comrades. I'm confident that you can handle it! Do we have a deal?

I wish all witches past, present and future would cease to exist

Sucks for you considering in the future you'll be a witch so you'll instantly not exist once you make the wish.

We incubators advise against wishes such as that. It isnt in your best interests.

Ok with m-

>user wishes for something beyond his ability to actuate
>nukes himself and the wish fails to work
What's the next step of your master plan?

Could you give me imortallity.

My wish is to be omnipotent

there we go boys you're all safe and I get whatever the fuk I want

I wish to remain as I am and to have you become the magical girl and fight your own fucking "witches" instead

>Wish for 100 billion dollars in my bank account
>Enjoy eternity because I'll never despair with a life of luxury

I want the ability to throw souls.

Come back when you've got some hundred lives worth of Karma to spend.

I'm a red-pilled Fedora-tipper.

You kind will not be able to harvest any emotional energy from me.

*TipTip*

They're zimbabwe dollars, you didn't specify shit

>you will be obligated to fight supernatural entities known as "witches,"
but my wish is for no more work

>be immortal
>be incapable of dying
>get trapped in cave in or down a mine shaft or something
>stuck for literally all time
>not even death can release you

what about your euphoria?

I'd rather give my sould to hades thank you very much. I don't trust people that give magical power.

Incubators show you that god exists.

And you despair.

Enjoy.

Euphoria is positive energy. The jewcubators cant utilize it.

>hyphenated red-pilled
>spacing
>action fx
I like this post. It's all in the small details.

I wish to be with her.

>Not just waiting for 4000 years for the mineshaft to erode and climbing out

but if he never existed how did he make the wish?

Immortality doesn't mean shit without invulnerability/regeneration.

I wish to become a cute anime girl and get raped all day.

I wish to be the protagonist of my favorite anime series.

Kyubey is not a monkey's paw

I wish that me and everyone i love can have a death without regret

BAM! ETERNAL HAPPINESS

I don't want my life to suck.

I wish for all of the wishes made by anons in this thread to be invalid, but they still get to be magical girls

I wish for all of Sup Forums to become magical cakes.

That's a very shit wish by itself.

Kys please, rat-kun.

>Kyubey turns you into a very happy, but very inert, braindead vegetable
The only way to be immune to despair is to be immune to thought in general. Let this user be an example to others.

I wish for all traces of my existence to be erased. I'd then kill myself immediately after with whatever mahou shoujo weapons I get.

Peace out.

>Doesnt have to work
>Still live a fulfilling, happy life

If you can archive your goal, your mean doesnt matter

>user gets Isekai'd
>there are no witches in Australia
>No way to reverse gradual corruption of soul gem
What do?

I wish to protect everyone's smiles, even if it's at the price of my own.

I wish to be exempt from any of that fighting shit with no consequences.

What if my smile can only be archived by raping innocent lolis infront of their parents?

Work on that self-esteem, Madoka

user becomes the parents and the lolis

Then you're a being of evil that must be destroyed. Lolis are not for sexual. I bet you work for Shocker.

That's not how it works, you little shit.

Let me dream damnit!

>I want to protect the smiles of everyone
>Except the one i dont like
>user gets to dictate who is evil and who isnt

No u

Sure, can I bank the wish for later?

Some things must be done in order to become a superhero.

I want a cheesecake

I want to BECOME cute anime girl.

Grab disgusting white xenos. Bring it to authorities. Live hapy rest of your life as famous alien-capturing hero rewarded with millions of dollars.

You do remember that nobody can see Kyubey but magical girls and magical girl candidates, right?

Just make me a cute little girl, qb-senpai

>The entire police force, army personel and secret service agents are not magical girl candidates

...
Apparently I don't.

>Kyubey
Fuck me, I was thinking something else.

End me and everyone else one this site cube

Ah, my apologies. That's against the terms of our agreement, which states that you must fight/destroy witches after your wish is fulfilled. If all witches cease to exist when your wish is fulfilled, there won't be any witches for you to fight/destroy, will there?

Sorry, my boss is very strict on this.

Please choose another wish.

user I will assist you as your non-magical straight cop buddy.

I want to be happy.

He existed when he made the wish didn't he?

give me back my rubber nen

Life doesn't suck and I choose to come here.

Your logic = flawed

I wish Kyubey would turn into a cute magical girl.

Zimbabwe dollars aren't worthless right now, actually
They're worth 5× less than the yen, but a billion is still a few hundred thousand non-monopoly dollars

So you are saying there's no downside?

I want to have a bigger dick please.

>Zimbabwe dollars aren't worthless right now, actually
>They're worth 5× less than the yen
You need to stop reading newspapers from mid 00s, granpa.
Zimbabwe dollars aren't just worthless, they don't even exist as a currency anymore and haven't for a longer time than they've been hyperinflating.
Zimbabe been using USD and South african bux for currency for almost a decade now and only had a very limited run of bonds internally.

I wish to be reborn as my ideal cute little girl when I die, and keep all my past memories.

...
What can you do with Jews?

>current year
>relying on oral contracts