>be me, poorfag
>almost no job qualifications, barely made the cut to work at some shitty barbershop
>sweep floors, replace hair product, you get the idea
>anyways
>I haven’t eaten since two days ago
>boss tells me to sweep up the floor and throw out all the hair
>of course I do it, and bring it all to the dumpster in the back
>trip on the curb and spill tons of long black hair
>flashback to a qt who came to cut her hair short
>I dropped a lot of fucking hair
>I begin to eat the hair
>it feels awful and won’t go down my throat right, I ended up choking a couple times
>force it down
>I swear I didn’t want to but it was better than eating nothing
>maybe
>suddenly hear the sound of someone slamming the door shut behind me
>shit
The doors locked and my stuff is inside. I ate the rest of the hair and someone locked all the doors before leaving. Should I find a way in or wait until tomorrow
I fucked up
You should get a fish filet bro
Jesus user
Sounds like a rough life, user.
>I begin to eat the hair
Maybe rob a bank for $1 to get arrested and have a meal like that nigger did?
That's fucked up user.
You're gonna get a mean hairball, bro.
He might actually have to go to the hospital depending on how much hair he ate
>I begin to eat the hair
nigga what the fug!?
sage goes in all fields
u wot m8?
Why the fuck are you eating hair?
why memeflag
jesus man
do you need money i'll give you money
id call this some shitty copypasta or low tier attempt but a similar thing happened to me, but i took the hair off some cute girl off the floor and put it in my pocket till i got home and used it around my dick to jerk off. i then ate the hair. no i didnt cum in the hair so no homo. i was just a customer after her, not a employee. pretty sure no one saw me pick it up.
Cool larp.
Holy fucking shit dude. You have some fucking real problems. There's nothing anyone can give you for advice.
You are an-hero in the making.
You're gonna want to get in that dumpster and have yourself a feast!
What the actual fuck?
So you put the hair in your hand while you jerked off, or did you wrap the hair around your dick and used that instead of your hand?
Either way, that's some creative fapping. And pretty damn sad, too.
Kek
Mods.
a little bit of both. i consider suicide regularly.
The leaf fear competition
what's weird is i would think you would be smelling it while jerking off. i don't understand the putting it on your dick thing
Get off the internet, hit the gym, get in shape, get a job, save money, travel, get your life together, and irl friends and girls will follow. Life can be beautiful if you make it worth living. Godspeed.
Why was eating the hair your first instinct?
Ylajali..
Dude you know you could panhandle and get a mcchicken instead of eating hair
I eat hair if it's the right chick user.
I think I can help you and the answer to your problem is here in the thumbnail. You're welcome.
You could have resold all that hair, loser. Goes for quite a bit bc weaves.
Bullshit. $1.59 gets you a dozen eggs. You can make 2 days of meals out of that.
Cheeseburgers are 99p.
Don't be fussy. People who eat hair can't afford to fussy.
Ask for dressing.
>you get the picture
Nah user I really don’t kek