MEANWHILE, at the Legion Of Doom

MEANWHILE, at the Legion Of Doom...

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We need to reduce inspirational flashbacks.

Sorry dudes but I'm rescinding my membership.
I already won so I see no reason to keep working with you.

I did nothing wrong

Since when were you under the impression that you had already won?

We got to kill squid girl!

Guys, could we stop inviting Hitler? He's making me uncomfortable.

Soon the whole world will believe that traps aren't gay.

Guys, I know how we can make more money.

Loli idols.

Who is this cute girl

Griffy Sue.

Alright Rabbi, but in return you're gonna have to get us in on this foreskin deal of yours. Truly nefarious.

To take control over the world, we must first enact step 1 of our grand plan, which is to get rid of all the superhumans protecting Japan.
I propose that we start taking over the media and belittle kids for still believing in hope.

How come you guys never take my plan to close down all garbage plebian restaurants so that only gourment restaurants for the elite run by chefs that follow my ideology will remain seriously? Every time I bring it up you either laugh or quickly change the subject.
I'm starting to think you guys only invite me to these meetings so that you can eat my food...

Guys, I'm getting a little tired of answering questions about that thing.
No, that doesn't mean I'm like that too.

Go on.

The plan is simple. We dress little girls like sluts and have them sing on stage.
The fools will pay good money for it, and with enough money, we shall first bribe all politicians and make them dependent on us to run the country.

Then, we'll force them into a scandal so that they must sell us the country, or we'll expose their secrets.

Then, with that country's money, we will buy another country. Then we have the resources of several countries and can buy more countries, until we've bought an entire continent.
With one continent under our control, we can buy a smaller continent, and have the resources to buy another continent.
And once we've bought all the continents, the world is automatically legally ours.

We invite you because your anguish over never being taken seriously nourishes us. That and the delicious Mapo Tofu you make.

Your plan with lolis intrigued me until you mentioned complete control of the Earth Sphere. Your plan does nothing but stagnate mankind and prevent them from reaching the next stage of evolution. I suggest you revise your plan to include forcing mankind to immigrate to space. Only then can mankind truly evolve into Newtypes like Zeon Zum Deikun envisioned.

I'm all for getting rid of all the so-called "heroes" that infect this society, especially if I get to kill All-Might, and it's true that hope is stupid.
But getting rid of ALL superhumans? Take a look around you, our party is full of superhumans and monsters. We don't conform by your fake society's standards mister government bureaucrat.
So kindly fuck off, in fact, fuck all of you, you piss me off. Stupid Kurogiri, telling me to "make allies and learn how other villains operate", you guys are idiots.

What about those twin little girls you were with at Yoshiwara? What did you do to them?

How about instead of everything you just said we take those lolis and jam them into cartridges, for scientific reasons of course.

...

Why not both? Make an army super Idol lolis genetically altered to be more moe than thought humanly possible.

Guys? What's Orochimaru doing here? I thought that he was a good guy now.

You honestly think that mankind can evolve simply by reaching the stars and enhancing their sensory perception? Fool. Mankind needs to be completely reset with the weak purged from the Earth before mankind can truly evolve. And you honestly think that you alone can bring forth this evolution? Know your place, mongrel.

Herro

He forgot why and so did his author.

How are we gonna save humanity today?

Wow, you losers are all still talking and talking and still not doing anything fun at all despite having an army of minions and weapons.
You're all so lame. I don't know why I joined this club.
I thought you guys were cool.

You're both wrong. Humanity is a lost cause. The only solution is to place everyone in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, an eternal Genjutsu where everyone will be in their own personal paradise. This cruel reality will make way for a perfect world.

So any of you have kids and pets? I have this really cool idea that could benefit our whole organization.

Hey huys, sorry it is taking so long to make the legions monster minions, but I will say I am on the edge of a breakthrough.
On a completely unrelated can I get in on those lolis, since I am so swamped with work I hardly have any time to spend on taking care of my dogs.
I hope those lolis can take some of the workload off if they take care of my dogs, I am sure they will be inseperable once they meet.

We can't afford to be selective.
And we can't afford to simply force Mankind into living in a dream world.
By recreating mankind from the ground up. All of Mankind must revert to the primordial soup from which they originated if we are to recreate, evolve, and control them. That is the purpose of the Human Instrumentality Project.

The same way we do it everyday.

Sure, sire. Here's one of the lolis that you requested.

who the fuck ate my pudding from the downstairs fridge?

Sorry I am late for the meeting guys. What did I miss?

Thank you my friend, with her assistance I have the feeling, my project will be done very soon.

>Not playing the long game.

NIGHTMARE OF SOLOMON WANT PANTS TOO!

Oh hey, that was me. Sorry, I'm gonna reimburse for that pudding. It was delicious, however.

Can I take this opportunity to tell you all again that you guys are all awesome roleplayers, and that I'm very grateful for you to invite me?
My last guild was unfortunately disbanded after everything was over.
I really love that inhuman decor you're all using. It really adds to the atmosphere.

Can I ask what exactly I'm supposed to be doing here? If I don't get to kill anyone, I'm not interested.

...

Wait a minute, something's not right here.
And no, it's not the Joker pointing a gun at my head for the 37th time. Seriously Joker, it's getting old.
There's something weird about this place and most of the people here. They don't look familiar...And there's a suspiciously high amount of Japanese men...

Guys, please help. The heroes bullied me again. Please make them stop.

C̤̖͉͕a̷̙̳̺n̵̛͓͕̤͠ ̢͏͓͇̯w̱̠̞̞̯̮e̡̪͙̟͡͝ ̸͉͉t̷̹͕̞̠̺́̕ͅr̵̸̭y̢̰̯͚̮͖̻͘ ̢̪͈͎̜̠̜̱t̜ǫ̶͎͚̯͓͞ ̤̣̰̤̭̹̕͢f̹̼̞͞͝ǫ̻̖͕̰̜̱͜c̳̳̠u͉̻̻̘͢͠s̥̙̳̞̥̼ ̠̮̘ͅo̧̝͙͡n̨͖͚̼̤̮͕͔͜͜ ͙̣̖̼̠͘a̸̦͚̺ ̡͕̯̙͈̗̞͜s͓̪̙í̧̥͢n͏̶͙̥͓̯͍g̙̘̘̫̖͇͍̦͟͡͡l͉̠̮͖̙̝͎͍̕e̮̱̝̗͔ ͇̩̩̞͉͕͔͚t̴̙̘͜o̬͔̞̦̞̳͡p̬̜̦͕̯̜͉̀i̮̱̟͍̝̻͜͡c̥͕̭͡ͅ,̶͍̕͠ ̟̩̫͓͖̻ṕ͚͔̰͜ĺ̺̺̦̦͘e̦̪͚͎͈̠̘a̸̯͔̮͈̘̗s͈̞̪͡͠e͏͚͖̺

I want to fuck Marie guys.

Don't bother, it's always like this. Everyone has their own plans, so everybody wants to brag about their plans instead of adressing whatever the other villains have just said. It's why we never get anything done.
I only come here because of that emo chef that won't stop talking about gourmet's food.

Guten Tag, who wants to go hunt down a vampire with a over complicated plan?

Who invited these gaijin?

I'm down for anything really, I'm just along for the ride.

Gentlemen, our female minions are not sleeping comfortably. With lack of sleep, their efficiency on the battlefield is greatly lowered, and our operations are at risk.
However, our low budget does not allow for improvements to the barracks where our henchmen and henchwomen reside.
Do any of you have any suggestions how to improve this situation?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with females being close to eachother

Commander Grabel has failed to conquer Earth and must be punished accordingly.

So you're the asshole who keeps putting holy water in the coffee pot.

Get the fuck out of here. No girls allowed.

But m'lady, as you can see, for some unknown reason, the female henchpersonnel's sleeping accommodations tend to blow up.

...

Uh, I think you might be in the wrong place.

>Responsible of the death of Trillions of lifes just because he wanted a good fight

I don't know. He ended busting up the Freeza Empire and the Red Ribbon Army, who were two very valued member organizations to the local legion of doom.

Shhhhh Tanaka is sleeping.

>He ended busting up the Freeza Empire
He got Frieza to work WITH him

Red alert. Red alert.
Masters, the heroes have located our base and are launching an attack on headquarters. They have penetrated the outer perimeter.
What are our orders?

Friday night, in the legion of doom
Ohhh, ravens fly across the moon....

youtube.com/watch?v=GkHVrv_KEwk

Tell Goku those heroes are strong fighters searching for someone to fight
Bring popcorn

Nothing, just stay there and die. Our base is hidden in a swam-I mean, hidden in a super top-secret location. What you were guarding was an empty building we set up as a diversion.

But yes, let's send out Son Goku anyway. He is clearly not an amoral person, but he lacks the malice to ever truly be one of us. And if he disposes of some heroes even better.

Hey guys, I'm going out for a bit. Does anyone want me to get them anything while I'm out?

Mom said I could hang out with you and your evil friends.
What's going on in here Onii-chan?!

My lords, I report that our cyborg horse infiltration units have successfully entered the target location and are now causing devastation as we speak.
Soon, the nation will be without sufficient renewable clean energy, and they will have to rely on nuclear and fossil fuel again.

A member that isn't defeated by a soccer ball.

brilliant

I require bird seed. It's for my bird.

But masters, we are being obliterated. The enemy outnumbers us 1:100. Please send help. We need two- or three hundred troopers here.

Speak for yourself faggot.

But master, those girls like to lay with women like they would with a man

Fool. That makes them immune to the charms and seduction attempts by the male heroes.

Fools! You thought those girls were sleeping with other girls, but it was me! Dio!

That Soccer ball incident was one time! I killed the kid too, so I don't know why you keep bringing that up!

Birdseed. Got it. One question though: What kind of bird is that?

Firgot the picture

Um, guys? Sorry to interrupt, but there's somebody by the front door. I asked who he was but he's being rather quiet. I looked through the surveillance camera and he seemed to look like someone you guys would invite. Should I let him in?

I thought you just wanted to bring back your dead wife?

...

KID! WATCH OUT!

Excuse me lads, but any of you wouldn't happen to hail from an insignificant little planet called Jerra did you? Because I'm afraid I have bad news.

Gentlemen, we must find a way how to defeat that handsome paragon of perfection and most heroic light of hope, the great and awesome undefeatable and most virtuous, the greatest, the best, the hunkiest, the incomparable Braveman, who stands in our goals of world domination.
I propose that the Legion of Doom combines all its resources into my plans to help me subdue this heroic mountain of handsomeness by making him fall in love with me, marry me, and make lots of kids with me.
You will of course all be invited to attend our marriage.

Nevermind I think he let himself in. Why don't you introduce yourself miste, um...


...

Guys, he's not saying anything...

Gentlemen, how can we stop baseball episodes?

It's very simple. We make everyone extremely obese, so that they'll never want to watch sports like baseball, because else they'll be reminded that they ought to be fit and thin and healthy if they wanna play baseball.
With their dreams forever crushed, they will change channels and watch sumo wrestling instead.

Go back in time and make it so the US doesn't assrape Japan during WWII

>What kind of bird is that?
Grenade bird.

『Guys, I'm thinking about banging the heroin. What do?』

That's a trap a few other villains have fallen for. Sleeping with the heroin just ends up in your personality and goals magically changing and you becoming one of her beta bitchboy good guy lackeys. If you want to dick her while staying yourself it needs to be non-consensual rape.

leave saitama to me!

good luck with that, that guy managed to blow the entire monsters association straight to hell.

Don't touch my heroin.

My. My my my my my my my.
Your methods of production are flawed and your drive for science is weak. You work for money, I work in pursuit of pure science. You need kids and dogs? Please, for my method you only need kids

This is a villain organization only. Who let this happy child in here?

Next post with dubs is my next target for DNA harvesting. And by harvesting, I mean involuntary intercourse. You can also call it rape.