What if Shirou summoned the beautiful Jeanne?

What if Shirou summoned the beautiful Jeanne?

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no sex scenes because shirou isnt a dragon

STRONG AND THICK
______ DICK

Shirou would die because his body is not made of sword.

Jeanne would hesitate to take all the mana she could get.

Would Sakura be able to corrupt Jeanne like what she did to Saber?

What if Shiki summoned lily Janu?

it would take more episodes to finish the story

Imagine the sex.

Jeanne is a pure maiden. There is nothing wrong with desiring an individual man and wanting to start a family with him.

>Looks the exact same as Saber
>Hurr durr Jeanne’s more beautiful
When will secondaries die?

he dies

>>Looks the exact same as Saber
>>Hurr durr Jeanne’s more beautiful
Real beauty comes from within

>be me
>not born as a ginger
>can't self insert as one
How do you guys do it bros?

>Alters are worse people than defaults
>Still more beautiful and appealing in every way
Not much of a theory you've got there.

bros? please respond.

What if Kiritsugu summoned the Red Man?

But how are you supposed to replenish Jeanne's mana if she gets btfo in a fight? She's the maiden of France.

Jeanne is canonically incorruptible just like Gil. Jeanne Alter is a fanfic created by Gilles with the grail.

Redman would have killed him if he found out what kind of person he is.

Bros? why don't you guys respond?

you don't self insert into the sword autist

>man
He's a homonculus
>start a family
Sieg is probably sterile. He isn't an Einzbern homonculus, he's a basic foot soldier type, the Yggdlmillenia probably didn't include that function.

She won't survive Gae bolge in fate and ubw. Won't make a difference in HF except greater jealousy from Wormslut.

FSN
-She'd be an interesting foil to EMIYA as their heroic quests led them down similar doomed pasts. Redman would get it in her head that her efforts will just doom her Master by "inspiring" him, but Shirou's rejection of his cynicism would also inspire her to keep going.
-Kirei would also talk smack about how for all her holiness, she waged war where the Lord's Word was violated nonetheless
-Gilgamesh would be disgusted over how she's a martyr as it is an insult to his ubermensch/anti-god principles. And that if she was so interested in helping her people, then she should have been ruling them instead of merely dying for them
-Because she cannot be corrupted, like Gilgamesh, she would just be killed by Dark Sakura/Angra Mainyu in HF, but she would try to use La Pucelle to weaken the abomination in her final moments as she tells Shirou not to give up

Fate/Zero
-Kiritsugu and her have a rather amicable Master/Servant relationship as her skill set compliments his more subversive tactics and as a soldier from a very dirty war, she understands the need for such cunning
-Lancelot constantly tries to murder her because of her resemblance to Artoria
-Gilles is torn between his loyalty to her and how much he enjoys being a villain. He eventually has a true breakdown when he realizes that Jeanne's Gods could not save her and Prelati's gods could save neither himself nor Gilles so are they equally viable or worthless? His final battle is meant to test which faith is more valid.
-She forms a close relationship with Iri and Kiritsugu's order to destroy the Grail with La Pucelle which is her causes Jeanne an immense amount of grief. This motivates her to try and protect Illya in the following war, a goal that is likewise doomed to fail
-a brief scene where she and Kirei cross paths and they talk about God, righteousness, morality, etc.
-she is disgusted by Iskander's hedonism at first, but they bond over their mutual fascination with the sea and the fabled Okeanos

what's the point of doing what if's if you don't self insert though?

jeanne can be only summoned as ruler (or avenger if alter). Overall she is a decent servant, especially with ruler special powers on CS. I don't know if she can beat Herk

I just self-insert as the sword autist I am. I used to practice kenjutsu since I was 8 and had a wooden sword made for me. I also taped bunch of steel rulers to emulate the weight of a real sword.
I like swords.

Ironically I used to make bows out of sticks and fishing strings too.

>Jeanne the ultimate moralfag agreeing with Kerry's scumbag tactics

jeanne would have problems with kerry's wish, not tactics. In apo jeanne had not problem fighting and killing children

Jeanne isn't a moralfag. Neither is Artoria, but Butcher butchered that aspect in Zero.

Artoria is a knightfag, not a moralfag.

Lads how do you convince Jeanne not to hate herself for being inevitably attracted to Shirou and his high jumping skills?

>Jeanne "fire the bombard on their gonads" d'Arc
>Jeanne "if it's a slut make it hurt" d'Arc
>Jeanne "crying child ghost needs to get lost" d'Arc
>Jeanne "orbital bombardment would make me content" d'Arc
>Jeanne "nice plane, I will crash it like Bane" d'Arc
She wouldn't give a shit about Kerry's shenanigans.

>soldier type
Nope, He is a battery homunculus created to be Adam's core.

In SN and Garden of Avalon it's said that she is pretty pragmatic, always doing what's necessary for the kingdom. She has no problem with burning down villages and the like if she thinks that's the right course of action. She also murders a defenseless Shirou in cold blood if he should refuse to take part in the HGW. The muh honor aspect was shoehorned in in Zero to create a (admittedly compelling) rivalry with Deermud

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>implying that Jeanne isnt a slut herself

>refuse to take part in HGW
Wasn't that Lancer that killed him in that bad end?

Apoc's version of Jeanne is not what I would call a good depiction of her. FGO's version was somehow more faithful.

Shirou: I SAVE PEOLPE
Jeanne: NO YOU CANT! PEOPLE SHOULD SAVE THEMSELVES! You're robbing them of their ability to save themselves! People have in them ability to save themselves! You saving them is no saving them! You're crushing and denying their capability to save themselves.
>proseeds to kill Shirou.

I hate F/A protagonists.

>Yggdlmillenia probably didn't include that function
It was implied that Celinek rode homunculi dicks since Astolfo didnt want to bang her.

She qualifies for Saber. That's where the problem starts though. Fate and HF route already fucks both retards hard since no insta win sword, means they get run over by Herc or Shirou surely dies if he can trace La Pucelle and use it on the grail.

On the other hand UBW doesn't matter who Shirou' servant by the time Archer betrays them so shit will play the same.

>being this much of a faggot
You didn't even watch or read it.

It's been specifically stated that Jeanne can only be summoned as a Ruler.

>proceeds to kill Shirou.
Read carefully along the lines, La pucelle was meant for the GG.

>Jeanne is a right-winger

based

If I were designing homonculuses, I'd give them a penis desu.

Oh shut up Atalanta.

Then he'd be dead.

If he didn't summon Saber, that means he doesn't have avalon. And no avalon means that he'd be dead before he reached the shed.

Shirou:
Lancer:
Jeanne: I will ask you. Might you be my Master?
Shirou:
Jeanne: Or whatever. I can’t stand out if I don’t participate!
Jeanne: Being Ruler feels more like a punishment. I wanted to try competing for the grail too sometime!
Jeanne: Oh, my Noble Phantasm? Don’t worry, I brought a really flashy one.
Jeanne: Look at this one-time-use Crimson– Ah, this was a self-destruction Noble Phantasm! (tee-hee)
Shirou: Wait wait wait.
Jeanne: It might finally be coming! The Jeaaaaaaaaanne boom!
Jeanne: There’ll be a Red Jeanne and a Sakura Jeanne, gosh, guess there’s no helping it since I’m such a popular character!
Jeanne: It’s so haaard, it’s so haaard being popular, I’m tired of all these Jeanne clones…
Jeanne: …Do you think I might be well on my way to becoming a star cash-cow like that?!
Shirou & Lancer: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.

There is only so much you can do creatively with Fate

How would Jannu feel about Vatican II?

>"Mana transfer?"
>"Sekusu?!"
>"SEKUSU?!?!"
>"S-S-SEKUSU?!?!!!"
>"B-b-but we have to get married first, master! D-don't we?!"
>The force of Ruler's chest crushes my sanity like a depth charge.
>"D-d-do I have to take my clothes off?!?!"
>"Maybe? I think?"
>"D-don't that mean we're be naked?!"
>"..."
>"KYAAAAAAA!!!"
>"AAAAAAAHH!!!"
>Ruler's eyes glisten like the freshly surfaced fin of a sailfish.
>"S-shirou, w-what's that surge of mana I'm sensing?"
>My sword becomes a canon.
>"I do not know."

During the eroscene, their combined EX-rank awkwardness would collapse time.

Couldnt they just mutually masturbate each other and have him cum in her mouth to mana transfer? She's still a virgin if it wasn't in her pussy, even if he makes her cum. t. 14th century court girl.

>Ruler's eyes glisten like the freshly surfaced fin of a sailfish.

No sex. :^(

No VAGINAL sex

If sex would be a problem, then having a nut bust in her mouth would be an even greater one. Even now it's widely considered to be far more intimate than a quickie, the idea would blow the 14th century's prude mind.

>j-j-jam the dragon inside me!

That makes it ok then! :^)

user please. Go read up on the details of courtly love. The bog-standard routine was for knights to sneak into their lady's room and fingerblast her clit until she came all over his hand, and she would then repay him with a handjob or blowjob or even anal. This is what actually was going on between all the cheesy ye olden love poems and flowers at jousts and shit. The girls of Jeanne's era had came up with the cliche excuse of "I'm still a virgin if he put it in my hand/mouth/ass" before your ancestors were born.

user, God designed the male and female human bodies to be able to achieve mutual orgasm together without ever breaking the girls hymen. This is all a part of His plan. Are you going to reject God's plan, user?

Jeanne secretly yearns for gentle, consensual sex in the missionary position, involving hands holding and legs locking. Shirou, being the jackhammer that he is, could never give her what she wants.

It was Berseker the one who killed him. Saber just gave him a punch, I think?.

But what if you start of slow and gentle, and then gradually up the pace and intensity as she gets used to you and starts craving more?

Nothing exciting.

Shirou is a broken shell of a man, which was why Saber, a broken shell of a little girl, was such a good fit for him. Jeanne is boring without any conflict.

Jeanne is my first servant in FGO so i love her

She'd look at him, have a revelation, BOOM, conflict made.

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Lancer kills him

Pretty lucky roll, desu. I can't wait to see the shitstorm when they release Jeannu Alter.

Why do people hate Seig?

Which version of this theme is the best?
youtube.com/watch?v=8kqls64aYUs
youtube.com/watch?v=1ErwgLxBNL0
youtube.com/watch?v=jiRdixLq38o

Because he's literally the anime Wesley Crusher.
Next?

What reason did Jeanne even have to fall in love with Siegshit? What are his qualities other than getting gifted superpowers from actually worth people?

Given that Waver promised to be Iksander's servant, does that mean that Lord El-Melloi will be able to appear in Iksander's reality marble after he dies?

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faster

now I want this.
which path?
insert into archer

his naivete , I guess

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her conversation with Gilles de Rais was awkward as fuck
>kids won't forgive you but god will
>Jeanne "deus lo vult"d'Arc

N-Nani???

This faggot holds an uncanny resemblance to adult Waver, but i heard that he's some random.

oh when you said Shirou I assumed you meant stay night Shirou. When Jeanne says that she clearly means that the dead should stay out of the business of the living. it is a "correct" idea but it does fly in the face of the seihai sensou were all the dead (in some way) seek to rewrite history. I do not support Shirou since he would destroy what makes humans human. it seemed less like evolution and more like lobotomy

'Save' people? Ah, you think have have done a good deed by 'saving' these people? You would be wrong. You should consider that perhaps by giving them what they have not earned, all you have helped them become is a target. Perhaps by challenging predators unjustly, you have worked a greater harm against the natural order. Be wary of acts of charity and kindness, lest you do more damage with an open palm than a closed fist.

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He's the blank self-insert.

only if your good deeds are small. like giving 5 credits to a beggar, its different if you save the whole world

Fuck off Kreia, you're not canon

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>body is made of swords
>not Japanese
>still can't self insert
hold me Sup Forums

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What if my body is made of spears?

What's her best asset?

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her faith in God