Why everyone wants his dick?

...

Bitch, did you not see that glorious motherfucker pole vault?

Sup Forums is full of literal faggots.

because he is the protagonist to a porn game, why the hell do you think?
Personally I wished they had went with Nasu's original vision with Shirou being a girl and Arthur being a handsome boy. Then instead of a dozen boring saberface girls we would have got a dozen handsome saberface boys

>/fit/
>good with his hands
>Becomes a stud when he gets older

Whats not to like

At least he's not as ridiculous as Shiki

He can cook, fix shit around the house, has a six pack, lives alone in a giant mansion, is secretly a mage, and literally heroes so hard that he becomes the nameless representation of justice.

Is there a better choise than him?

I wonder why.

I want Shirou to have gay sex with Araragi.

Nah it can't be that ba-
>sees thread responses

This world is long gone.

>good cook
>best athlete in school dojo
>fixes anything mechanical
>pals with school president
>pals with most popular guy with girls
>lives in a giant mansion
>already works
>will always help you if you ask him

Shirou is literally chad, get over it.

He's the MC in an eroge, why the fuck do you think?

Did you forget he lives in a Japanese mansion with no parents?

>owns a house
>already has a job in high school
>excellent physical condition
>cooks meals for his bitches
That's pretty much expected.

>implying straight men are somehow mentally incapable of perceiving positive qualities in other men

Ok this doesn't sound bad.

>implying gyms arent for straight men to admire the progress of the other straight men

>no caster route
>no illya route
>no taiga route
ONE job

>caster
>third rate village witch
>route

There's literally an entire spin-off series that shows how he seduced his harem with his superior cooking skills

>third rate village witch

...

Taiga and Ilya routes when?

Those are three jobs...

Because he is a nice guy

>They say posting the chick who ate dove vomit

Imagine how hard he could make his dick with his strengthening magic. Would you not want to ride on the ultimate pleasure rod of justice?

>Because he is a nice guy
This is now canon

That is exactly what a village peasant without any understanding of the haute cuisine would point out.

...

>implying I'm not the boss of this gym

>implying that wasnt just a friendly pre workout warm up between 2 straight males.

>Then instead of a dozen boring saberface girls we would have got a dozen boring saberface boys
Fixed. Swapping the gender of clones of a franchise's popular character that exist only for cash grabs won't magically make them better.

Because I want to have his babies.

So does Shinji.

Because he did the high jump

Nasu has always tried to make a character gay for his male MCs. Shinji is blatantly closet homo for Shirou and Satsuki from Tsukihime was originally going to be a gay classmate.

Saber: Because he told her she's a girl over and over and had a threesome with her in a shed.
Rin: Because his retarded hero complex is so over the top it forces her to be his handler and consider that while he should tone it down, she can stand to be less of a cunt.
Sakura: Because he taught her that mealtime isn't just about having worms and rotten animal corpses shoved down your throat.

>he didn't see the high jump
I pity you, user, for you will never know the joys of being Shirousexual.

Because high jumps

Ladies, contain your orgasms

I get the octopus and dead rabbit but what's the deal with Rin and Eel? Some throwaway line in HA?

Why isn't the SKIP button working?

Good fucking question, his character is frankenstain abomination of Jesus (fetish for martyrdom), #NiceGuy (wants to save everyone even when they are much stronger than him) and a carbon copy of every idiot protagonist ever
There is nothing likeable about the character, he has no motivation or wish, he survives purely with plot armor, he pulls powers out of his arse and his thoughts and available actions are fucking awful to read
Shirou Emiya is the worst character in the fucking entire franchise, even the dickhead blonde wanna be kang is better character than Shirou, hell even the rapist whimp is better Shirou

>Shirou Emiya was a mild mannered school boy until one day due to whacky accident he discovers he has powers to summon waifus, due to plot convenience he has xxxx which allows him to summon "strongest servant"
>but his luck doesn't end there because a powerful magus and the most popular girl in school is also after his bland dick, she would die for him because plot reasons
>unfortunately he meets a xxxx who tries to kill him, luckily the plot protects his retarded ass from danger even though he should have died a million times in the entire fucking VN
>will Emiya Shirou be able to use his magical dick to win the holy grail war and fuck every bitch in the universe? find out in the next exciting installment of where the fuck is my Yukihime sequal

The drinking party at the end of F/HA has Rin going berserk on Saber over how awful the food in Britain was. IIRC, jellied eels were brought up as a particularly horrid example of it.

That drinking party is one of my favourite HA scenes.

Illya once again being rebuffed when trying to bathe with Shirou, Rin's entire tirade against British food and then the Best Imouto competition.

One of the best arguments for a HA adaptation.

Cause it's an eri VN where you're supposed to self insert as the protagonist with the dick everyone wants

>why does everyone want to fuck [self insert character #21345]
Gee, I wonder why.

Pretty much everything about him can be traced back to Kiritsugu rescuing him from the fire.

What's his motivation? He wants to be a hero because of the effect Kiritsugu rescuing him from the fire had on his psychology.
Why's he able to survive all this horrible shit that happens to him? In order for Kiritsugu to rescue him from the fire, he had to implant Avalon, an incredibly powerful healing artifact, into his body.
Why was he able to summon Saber? In order for Kiritsugu to rescue him from the fire, he had to implant Avalon, which is an artifact strongly tied to Saber, into his body.
Why is he able to project any sword perfectly? In order for Kiritsugu to rescue him from the fire, he had to implant Avalon into his body, which changed his origin and element to "sword".
Why does he have a reality marble? When Kiritsugu rescued him from the fire, his perception of reality became so skewed that he gained the potential to be able to reject your reality and substitute his own.

>Shirou Emiya was a mild mannered school boy

It's great because a good chunk of the prologue is there to tell us he's a hotheaded dickbag.

It's amazing how people bitch about Shirou in away that gives away they either never read the VN, or they are speed readers who don't actually pay attention.

Like there is a TON of stuff to bitch about concerning Shirou, but they always pick stuff that just doesn't exist.

It just means he had no consistent character. With Seiba, Rin or Sakura, he's the kindest person you can image. Never saying or doing anything wrong.

Why is Shiki hair white

>teenage boy is trying his best to please girls he likes quite a lot and look his best around them

Absolutely never happens irl.

>With Seiba, Rin or Sakura, he's the kindest person you can image.

He spends half the time telling Saber she can't and shouldn't do anything. He teases and mocks Rin nearly as much as she does to him. Sakura is the only there with whom he's consistently polite - with the others, he has a tendency to tease and joke with.

Once again confirmed for either never reading the VN or being a speed reader.

Archer is closer to Shirou's personality than you people give him credit for.

>Shirou i'm so lonely, i want to be loved. Can you help me? Can you love me?

user - 1
Sluts - 0

Because that's the script.

>chad
Beta faggot more like

Fuck Shirou.
>cockblocked Lancer in HA
What the fuck? Shirou is epitome of NO FUN. You will never drink with him because he's THAT guy.

>Cu
>Luck E
>ever getting a girl

He fucked more women than Archer will ever get through eternity as Janitor

Shirou didn't cockblock him, he just gave Kane the ability to troll Lancer.

>Fit
>Cooks better than most women
>Fixes shit around the house
>Would literally die for you
>Hardworking and genuinely kind
Of all the protagonist who constantly get girls on their dicks, Shiro is somewhat believable for me.

>her family is poor
>always staying behind in shadows
>very kind
>became friends with Legend
They're OTP.

>beta mongrels pretending they are hot shit

Reminder than Gilgamesh had literal harem of willing women, raped unwilling little girls because thats he loves his women young yet is alpha enough to adore Arturia even after she btfos him.

Every route is a different girl Love interest like are typical

Yukika and Seo are best minor girls.

Gil can't even handle Saber. He's legit retard. Like guy who trying to buy anything with money.

Gilgamesh has never tried to buy Arturia esl-kun. He either tried to rape her/forcefully subjugate her or tried to sway her by promising to share with her all the pleasures known to men.

>He either tried to rape her/forcefully subjugate her or tried to sway her by promising to share with her all the pleasures known to men.
That's not alpha behavior.

If you don't want it, send my way. I don't care. Just send it my way.

Spoken like a true beta. It is exactly what alpha behavior is, since it is about spreading ure genes as much as possible. An asshole deadbeat dad with 6 kids spread around the country/countries is alpha male and father of a solid and loving family of 2 kids is beta. While wrong on the moral and ethical side, the rapists and deadbeats ensure that their heritage survives and thrives.

>It is exactly what alpha behavior
What the fuck am reading. Rapist with knife is not alpha. It's nothing but savage beast.

Put me in the screencap.

Yeah lets give Taiga a route so she can learn about Kuzuki and Shinji and Sakura's constant rape and all the shit Shirou went through and Kirei can brag about Kerry's suffering to her she'll appreciate that,

>jellied eels
Nobody eats fucking jellied eels in Britain?

>Jellied eels are a traditional English dish that originated in the 18th century, primarily in the East End of London. The dish consists of chopped eels boiled in a spiced stock that is allowed to cool and set, forming a jelly. It is eaten cold.
It's one of the typical examples of just how nasty British food can be.

>how nasty British food can be
>implying crap from the arse-end of London represents actual British food
Mate if you don't like these babies you literally have no taste

That's not Makidera

Seo is too cute

>self insert protag in an H game
Gee I wonder

>self insert
Can we stop throwing this phrase around randomly?
How exactly is a guy who got PTSD so bad he can't even fathom the idea of doing something for his own sake, a self-insert?

If you don't live in England, the only place in England is London.
If you don't live in the British Isles the only place in Britain is London.

Oh and Sherwood forest, that gets brought up.

>good cook
>loyal
>rich as fuck
>/fit/
>perfect wife
Its kind of self explaining, why do you even ask?

Its so true.

I'd fuck him (her?).

There's just something about that boy doing the high jump.

Would you let him(her) make you a wholesome nutritious home-cooked meal?

Will it be followed by sex in the missionary position under the covers with the lights off, and will there be holding hands and spooning after?

Should've been the first post.

Yes, but you had better be a lawfully-wedded monogamous couple son.

Who wouldn't want his dick?

>strong
>nice
>never wrong
>super special awesome artifact sealed inside his body
>summons the strongest class
>beats the strongest Servants
>becomes a heroic spirit with an oh-so tragic end
>even great at housework
You just need the harem to make him the perfect self insert. Of course Nasu gave it to him. Can't stop until he becomes the perfect Mary Sue.

user, please. It will take place on our wedding night.

>never wrong
>picked worms over imouto

Is that Sacchin?

You can't have sex with your imouto. That's wrong.

Who said anything about sex you fucking pervert