Monkey's Paw

Make a wish Sup Forums

I wish E3 would have good games that I'm actually interested in shown.

New Weapons!

An eceleb board is made

I wish for your freedom Monkey Paw

I want Arena shooters to be popular again.

I wish we'd finally get a good new 2D Metroid game.

I wish Valve, GOG, Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo went out of business.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and-and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?

I want a cute ghost waifu to fuck

Fuckin hippie.

Don't let blizzard ruin wow

All the games come with day-1 DLC, heavy DRM, season passes and are only aviable on the Xbone.

All games get censored and memes are added to them

Granted, but they will never come out

I wish for a good sequel to Sonic 3 & Knuckles

A virgin girl to marry and have 3 children with.

Me too brother, me too

kill me

The turkey sandwich is rigged to a trigger system that detonates a nuclear device that evaporates anything within a 25km radius if anyone moves the sandwich or interacts with it in any way

I wish I never existed

Localize every Japanese game ever, but:
>no memes are added
>the translations are 100% faithful (no memes)
>no censorship at all
>if dubs are added, they're decent at worst
>if dubs are added, dual audio is always an option

Vaporware
You get them, all worse looking reskins of non stock weapons
It's made, everyone stays on Sup Forums and it is considered a wasted board and closes again
Thanks
Sure, but let's change up the formula. Cover based arena shooting, nice and slow. But pay to win of course.

Granted but everyone is in a delusion that you did so they're still sad you're gone

it gets made but Sup Forums is deleted
slow-paced and techless
it strangles you
All their IPs are bought by Tencent
Treehouse handles every single localization. They all have Atlus quality dubs with no dual audio

She ends up cucking and divorcing you a month after your 3rd child is born, and turns them all against you.

>Cover based arena shooting, nice and slow. But pay to win of course.
Kill yourself monkey paw.

All of them are developed by Actovision and EA devs, little kids and pewdiepies audience get hooked on them, they make the majority of the playerbase

Localised to Korean

All games are localized into Simplified Chinese and Arabic

I want to fuck a very hot girl that will die right after and there will be no evidence connected to me, also I will remember nothing on the next second of fuck (but the pleasure) and zombies or ghosts will never exist, also as a bonus my dick will never go limp nor anything will happen to my appearance or smell or bodily functions

I dare you motherfucker
Find a way to monkey paw this wish

I wish I could enjoy a video game like I used to be able to.

user, you dont understand. I dont have anyone to be sad about me not being there.

Or, you know, the turkey could just be a little dry.

Every release is an Atlus USA-style """collector's edition""" that massively overinflates the price while only adding five-page artbooks, six-track soundtrack CDs, stickers, and other crap you don't want.

Granted but also you're gay

Granted but she pegs you and never touches your penis

...

She is hot, very very hot. So hot she's on fire. You've seriously burned yourself user and she's ashes before you can finish. You're still a virgin, but now a very burned one

Granted, but she had AIDS that passed to you.

Fuck didnt foresee this

Granted, but you can only enjoy a videogame, no more, no less.

The problem with the Monkey Paw is that whatever you wish for, you will get a twisted negative version of it.

If you want money, it will throw the cops at you for stealing it
If you want immortal life, you will be immortal, but still get old.

The only way to win, would be to say a 1000 words wish that include all possible negatives.

Since your dick never goes limp ever again you die from a heart attack two days after

>>>neogaf

But user you were always a faggot

You enjoy the next video game you play as if you played it yesterday

Yes we know what a monkey paw is you flaming faggot

Nigga you just wished for a dead body in the middle of your room. There didn't need to be any monkey pawing about it. You're going to have to dispose of a dead body in the middle of your room with no recollation of how it got there.

I will improve it and post again

The wish came true!

seconded

ice cold

Congratulations, you just forgot everything you knew, which pretty much makes you a drooling retard.

I wish everyone else's wishes dont have any negative consequences

I wish I could have 100 uncorrupted wishes.

Make World War 3 the fight for machine consciousness.

All the fingers on the paw fall off

Granted, but that's the only game you can play for the rest of your life.
Granted, but every single one of those negative effects that should have happened is placed on you.

I want to be rich.

I wish trump won

I want E3 to be more for the gamers. Showing better games that release within the year

You could have them, but you missed your chance years ago. Can't now

...

Some people dont. A lot of people have never saw the Twillight Zone.
Stop being so triggered.

I wish for a Street Fighter-esque game, but with naked ladies of various racial backgrounds.

You became Rich Evans

Granted, but you're now a mexican.

Gets assassinated, his VP Jeb Bush now becomes president.

I wish for phenomenal cosmic power!

Trump wins, but is more centrist than Xillary ever could have been

Your name changes to Richard

Granted, but you're not allowed to see or play any footage or gameplay of it ever.
Also, it's delayed until 2032.

GRANTED. Phenonmenal cosmic power!
Itty bitty living space. You 're now linked to a genie's lamp and can only make wishes for other people. Any other time, and you're stuck inside alone.

Granted, but they're all traps

You get an itty bitty living space.

Granted but their all BBW or transgirls or both.

Okay lets do this

I want to be immortal but die at any moment I want, and none of the following will happen
>Nothing will happen to my sexuality
>Nothing will happen with my intellect
>Nothing will happen with my memory
>Nothing will happen with humanity
>Nothing will happen with aliens invading humanity
>The planet wont explode
>People will not fear or despise me or feel disgusted
>I cant get AIDS
>My dick will work normally
>My balls too
>My appearance will remain the same
>My money and possessions will remain intact
>No meteors will crashon earth
>Actually nothing will happen that will trigger the destruction of society
>Society will not turn into a sjw paradise nor anything like it
>My friends will be ok
>My body is intact
>A hole wont open and make me fall on it
I could go on but I think this covers most of it
>Videogames will remain good

None of these sound like bad things

Give me a 7, please.

granted
Robin Williams is still dead

...

Well why don't you just fuck me in the ass.
If you think traps are a negative outcome for me, think again. Now maybe one could be reasonably big bodied, but yeah fattys kill the boner.

I wish that Sup Forums never again enjoys playing any vidya.

I wish that the monkey paw loses it's negative version of your original wish.

Beat that faggot

I want Skyrim to be remade into a non-pile of shit game

The planet implodes.

You're immortal but blind and deaf.

Body's intact, dick, balls, memory, intellect, sexuality, and humanity all unaffected.

Chrono Trigger remake.

I want Robin Williams to come back to life, cured of his depression.

Dude, you forgot the two mains.
You are still aging and didnt cover being put in a Ice cube.

I wish Capcom would make good video games again

I hope e3 is fun to watch

I wish that you don't grant me this wish.

Alright but it's going to cost you 10 dollars per mod.

Granted. You then contract a horribly painful disease that while leaving you mobile, keeps you in perpetual pain that you can't escape.

Granted, but he quickly gets killed by someone else.

>immortal
>die at any moment

I want Capcom to stop being lazy sacks of shit and release Monhun on Wiiu instead of N3DS.

Chrono Trigger is overrated.