Where will you be when Ubisoft win e3?

Where will you be when Ubisoft win e3?

In a coffin.

Hell would have frozen over first

I can no longer tell if these threads are ironic or marketing

Riding a flying pig

shit trigger discipline/10

>niggers

People are catching on to Ubi's shit with a lot of games now.

They usually make a pretty nice trailer, call it 'gameplay', and release a half baked idea like we got the first time.

Ironic, no marketer can be this retarded.

Why not both?

Fucking hell, they look like they're about to talk about their blogs.

I wish I would be sleeping, but I'm going to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier
Can't miss Aisha and meme man

So was Watchdogs actually something more than hype and broken promises?

no

I genuinely like ubisoft games....

That looks like that image of the Africans holding katanas and guns about to enter a town.

I'd be fucking happy if Ubisoft got their shit together enough to win E3. I don't hate Ubisoft because they're Ubisoft, but because they are known for "Least amount of effort possible to get your dosh"

I'd love to live in a world where Ubisoft weren't lazy French fucks who have decent ideas and implement them in the worst ways those ideas could be implemented.

Imagine it guys, an Ubisoft that had a good work ethos and weren't just trying to be the grandmaster Jews of France.

>e3 2016
>Ubisoft conference
>darkness
>strange chanting music as the lights go red
>strange dancers appear carrying frightened animals making strange whooping noises and clicking
>some vomit blood on the audience
>the music moves to people saying Girlwood in odd pitches and tones, as Aisha Tyler emerges atop a giant vagina shaped meat grinding machine
>she wears a dress of bloody meat, pig intestines wrapped about her body, two pig fetuses dangling from her neck on her chest
>the music starts to get Trappy
>Aisha Tyler sensually rubs her bloody body as people bring the animals and throw the animals into the machine, blood spattering everyone, as Aisha swings the fetuses on their umbilicals, crying out YES, YES, YESSSS
>she strips her meat dress as the clit she stands on now extends over the vagina to reveal it to be the glans of a big steel penis covered in pink graffiti
>the music grows louder as Aisha screams
>ARE YOU READY?!?!?
>the shaft opens
>FOR SOME?!?!?
>a whirring noise is heard
>VIIIIIDEOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!?!?!!!!!
>the chutney mess of sacrificed animals and bloody entrails ejaculate from the steel penis, coating the audience in the bright red slurry
>the dancers start violently seizuring as Aisha laughs evilly as the lights die the music giving way to screams and barnyard animal pain squeals howling in pitch black darkness
>the noise grows and grows and suddenly, dies
>BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL 2 is shown in bright gold letters
>five seconds later the words WILL NOT BE SHOWN AT THIS CONFERENCE are added
>Ubisoft's CEO waddles on stage amongst the carcasses to talk about Peggle 3 or something

In an alternate dimension, it would seem.

Honestly the cover looks good. We need more colorful covers. I'm sick of FACES staring at me.

Game will be garbage though, of course.

Kek'd. Read it aloud to my mom.

me too .

Trying too hard: the game.

It was an alright open world game, with some great ideas. Lots of potential, but definitely flawed.

In terms of polish and content it simply does not stand up to GTA V, no doubt. Glitches, lack of thought out world interaction in places, the downgraded visuals etc. are real issues, but the game also has stuff going for it.

The "hacking" is essentially environment control on the fly and it's really cool gameplay wise. Police chases are neat because you can fuck the police up while you're driving or block them off etc. Some missions can be done purely through chaining cameras and causing distractions through hacking or you can just go in guns blazing etc. From a gameplay standpoint I fucking loved this and think it's a really good twist on the GTA-like concept.

A couple of other things were really neat, like online tailing (basically you're put in another players game and need to follow them - if you do it well they won't even know, if you fuck up and they notice someones in their game then it's fun trying not to get profiled by them). I played this mode a shit ton and it was great.

Otherwise presentation was nice, story was eh, side content like minigames were appreciated personally.

It's a decent game with some neat twists on a well known formula, but it has some very real issues that they can hopefully iron out in the sequel.

>"how do you do, fellow blm supporters?"
>"would you like to join "the right side of history"™ and assist us in overthrowing systematic oppression by defacing websites and doxing racist twitter trolls?"

I still find it hard to get over the fact that this released AFTER GTAV, even the last gen versions of GTAV outshone Watch_Dogs on next gen consoles.

The Division: Rowdy Youth with Smartphones DLC

heh

It's funny how you can see that this game is the result of a bunch of 50 year old in suits saying
>WHAT DO KIDS LIKE THESE DAYS

Fucking degeneracy.

>niggers
>trampy clothing
>muh empowered wymyn

Sup Forums actually allows the destruction of gaming to take place like the cucks they are. Wow lolololol!

Kek, literally this

Watch Dogs was the flop of the century.
Who the fuck decided that a sequel was needed?

In different universe where it doesn't happen.
Shame, your universe sounds pretty neat.

I just hear news about the new South Park game.

...

It's Ubisofts highest selling new IP ever.

That's real fucking sad.
It looked like garbage, played like garbage and was panned like garbage.

I guess consolefriends really love garbage.

Ubisoft specialise in bad games that advertise well. They live off the impulse day one buyer who doesn't wait for any hint to the real quality of the game.

In your shadows#######OLD ROD#####MAGIKARP#####, waiting #####TM32 USED LASS##########you boot the game to have f#######DITTO###############un with ASSHAT.

>Hackivist BLM millennial protag

Why would anyone play this shit?

Damn beat me to it.

>The live off the 10 year old who bugs his mom to spend $60 on a new game

FTFY

The only people who truly enjoy each iteration of Ubisoft games and aren't bothered by them being the same shit over and over are pre-teens.

You think most normal fags don't have the impulse control of 10 year olds? How do you think the tattoo industry stays afloat?

>Boxart is actually vibrant and colourful
I'd say it gives me some small glimmer of hope that they won't fuck it up. But it's Ubisoft, so they've probably realised the recent insurgence of colour in games and are ready to run it into the ground leaving no survivors.

Maybe it blends realism with scifi?
Shut down alarms, open electric locks, beat up security and run like hell with you new 60" LED TV and Air Jordans®.

The sad part is, they hit the nail on the head.

You can pretend it's "not cool" as much as you want. But everything about the protagonist and the game are exactly what normies find "cool" right now.

Millenial spotted

>Includes game
That sucks

>script kiddie """culture"""
>activism faggotry
>parkour and vaping
>graffiti
>drones
>3D-printed guns
>black people
>hip and trendy sanfran muslims who mystifyingly don't instantly kill gay people
>EXCELLENT WORK, JOHNSON. HAVE A RAISE.

ironic shilling is still shilling

underated

...

>Black lives matter: The Game

I bet on those:
>Arduino/Raspberry pi
>INTERNET OF THINGS
>Hackerspaces
>Linux being portraited as some sort of super hacking OS with an artificial intelligence
>MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMES
>More MLP ponies

>ending of the game is the MC in a huge police chase ending with him being surrounded
>he has fucked up the whole city, major companies, regular people, everyone, with his stupid "le dedsec haxx0r" bullshit
>he slowly raises his hands as police and SWAT have their aim on him
>he opens his mouth
>"hands up don't sh-"
>gets obliterated in a hail of bullets like the degenerate criminal he is
>screen fades to black
>"Please take a minute to remember those we have lost to police brutality. #handsupdontshoot"
GOTYAY BRAVO UBISOFT BRAVO

Requesting the main image replaced with the niggers holding katana's.

>win e3 with WE WUZ: The Game and Aisha Tyler the vulgar lesbian nigger

HA HA HA HA good one

...

watching the PC gaming show lol

To be fair, Ubi games are the less shit nowadays (except CDPR but they just make one game/gen).

>>she wears a dress of bloody meat, pig intestines wrapped about her body, two pig fetuses dangling from her neck on her chest

You know you are onto something when it reads like a Dwarf Fortress forgotten beast.

it's an hour before Ubi, tard

I would pay to play this.

Why do I feel that somebody is gonna hack ubisoft soon and expose lots of personal information as some kind of weird irony

Need some actual good stuff to be good, like pick and place machines, reflow soldering, australian guy that understands a fuckload of this bullshit and can solder fine pin pitch SMD by hand...

To be dead honest i really liked the first Watch_Dogs and im looking forward to the second. Even with the graphical downgrades you have to admit it wasnt the worst game and the second looks even better with hopefully a bigger, better map, different types of combat and better parkour. I dont get many full priced games but it may be the one i get this year.

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