Gryffindor has got the snitch! I'm afraid that 14-0 shut out by Slytherin doesn't mean shit! LMAO

>Gryffindor has got the snitch! I'm afraid that 14-0 shut out by Slytherin doesn't mean shit! LMAO
who fucking designed this sport?

An imaginary wizard in a British childrens fantasy book series

14-0 would imply 140-0. The Snitch is worth 150 points. If Slytherin had 160 points, the game would end (The snitch always ends the game) and Gryfindor would still lose because it would be 160-150. Please keep this fucking shit on Sup Forums

I was leading 130 - 10 once and then lost it because of the snitch.

Damnit Cho, you make team sad.

A woman.

/thread

Pretty much.

Although more specifically, it was a sport specifically designed so that the game's outcome relied mostly on the talents of the Gary Stu main protagonist. It's a convenient way for Harry to be the hero of every game because it ends the match and almost always means his team wins.

Oh well done, Slytherin, well done....

However

Shit sport.

>snitch literally wants to be caught, if it wanted to actually avoid the seekers it could just do a 180 every time they got close because the turning radius of brooms is so much greater than the turner radius of an inch-wide orb. instead it just flies around like a retard

>Rowling makes hitting another player many yards away with a heavy ball you can only use a bat to propel forward like it is the easiest thing in the world and happens regularly throughout the match

>Teams actually waste time with the quaffle and the bludger when the superior strategy is just committing everyone except a single chaser

>chasers actually pass the quaffle when they could just fly the ball right up to one of the three goalposts and easily throwing it in

>no school thought "huh, maybe we should standardize maximum broom speed" - instead, the richfags get the fast brooms which would make playing defense with a shit broom literally retarded

>players actually seem to get tired when all they are doing is willing their brooms to go forward and making ducking their head once and a while

what was she thinking?

A single chav mother shitting on a napkin designing a sport and you expect it to be the greatest athletic competition of all time?

The richfag thing was my biggest hang up as a kid. Why were they not given standard issue brooms.

Hogwarts is also the school that every British wizard goes too. I'm sure they'd get provided with good equipment by alumni.

nigga its the same country where soccer comes from, what do you expect?

fpbp fourth

The card games were the best part of the entire series.

Slytherin>Hufflepuff>Ravenclaw>Gryffindor

>>>/literallyreddit/
take you pick cuck

Soccer doesn't need expensive equipment to play. Sure it's nice to have a nice pitch but you can literally play with four jumpers for goal posts and a ball

Was about to say.
>Three hoops that give one, two, and three points respectively.
>You have standard team members like goons and shit like that.
>Suddenly a fucking ball that will take your head clean off your shoulders at the speed it's going at if you're not ready to bat that shit away.
>Points don't fucking matter because there's a tiny golden faggot that flies around and wins the game for you basically no matter what.

If they really wanted the game to make sense they would have the snitch be a over-time tie breaker.

Because the snitch is worth 15 and since getting it ends the game it would mean that Gryffindor would win by 1 point.

Also.
>You could be the best fucking seeker in the world, but it wouldn't matter because the other fuck stick has a NIMBUS 30,000 KENYAN LEGS EDITION and you're poor as shit.

Quidditch is literally pay 2 win.

What is the keeper for if everyone can touch the ball

Remainder that quidditch is an actual sport

yeah well thats a different scenario isnt it, faggot?

Polo does not have standarized horses. Nor did F1 when it was good.

The PC port of this is glorious.

1080p, 60fps, good looking graffix.

>sport is invented by a woman
>pay to win
>no teamwork necessary
color me surprised

This is why Beater is the ultimate position in Quidditch
>See some faggot seeker on the other team
>Send them to the hospital wing with a well-placed bludger to the skull
>They bring in the replacement whose even less competent
>Send them to the hospital wing too
>Opposing chasers have the quaffle
>Send them to the hospital wing!
>Opposing keeper blocking too many of our shots
>What the fuck do you think you should be doing right now, you little faggot?

Ah, yes. These "people".

I knew it was a sport but I always assumed that it was a sport based on quidditch like they modified soccer or some thing.

Didn't think they'd actually be pretend riding on brooms

Disregarding that they all look like faggots with a stick up their ass, how would the snitch even work?

Wizards are fucking retarded in general.

>Mr. Wesley doesn't even know how an airplane works.
>Nobody thinks of going to Foyles or the public library and just fucking getting him a book on the history of flight.
>Wizards are so afraid of a single evil entity that they won't even openly say his name.
>They fucking whip out the red armbands and go full Nazi Germany as soon as the noseless fuck comes back.
>They're fucking capable of just putting their faggot like pixie staff away and walking around the "muggle world"
>LOL WUTS A TV XD XD XD XD!!!!
>"Muggles" are apparently the "Silly" ones.

...

No fucking way. I thought that would be too retarded even for quidditch.

I was expecting an RC plane or some shit

No

>Please keep this fucking shit on Sup Forums

Dumbass

To add on to this.
>There are spells so fucking horrible that using them will send your ass straight to Wizard Auschwitz
>They're common knowledge and can be learned from books you pick up at the wizard book store.
>Hundreds of fucking spells that will help you flick away your enemies gay ass laser beam
>Nothing to stop from getting your teeth knocked down your throat.
>Their prison is so horrible and inhumane that their wardens literally suck the souls out of their inmates and practically nobody leaves mentally sound.
>But muggles are barbaric, you guys!

I don't know if J.K. Rowling just has a fucked up and warped sense of justice and morality, but come on, anybody can tell that Harry Potter is fucked.

Threadly reminder that every single one of these is a completely different, and completely worth playing game.

> The snitch is a ball attached to the waistband of the snitch runner, a neutral athlete in a yellow uniform who uses any means to avoid capture.

ebin

What a time it was

Same deal.

HAVE A TASTE OF MY SUPER WIZARD CRACKER

Do you think he makes flapping noises?

When HP was the shit during my late Elementary School years we played quidditch a couple of times, we used mainly basketballs for bludgers and the beaters would just fuck whoever with these monsters, the "main" field was like Rugby with a Soccer ball and to score you had to throw it to a basketball hoop.

The snitch was sorta boring, but we made one and we entrusted someone who didn't give a fuck to hide it somewhere in the schoolyard, so the seekers had to seek that shit for th entire recess.

It was sorta fun, of course, no brooms. I was a beater and I had the time of my life beating the shit out of everyone else since me and the other nigga from my team were the tallest guys in school back then.

>There are spells so fucking horrible that using them will send your ass straight to Wizard Auschwitz
>They're common knowledge and can be learned from books you pick up at the wizard book store.

Now, the interesting thing someone once pointed out that was sort of interesting on these things was: "The Dark Arts are powerful and simple because they WANT to be learned and used." It's an interesting to think about in any fantasy setting.

If evil magic is truly malevolent and corruptible, then it will make itself easily accessible and readily used as best it can. (holy shit, does this mean casual games are black magic?)

But as wizard morality goes, I think Rowling tried to stress that Dementors were honestly a shitty idea. Especially since the Dementors immediately joined Voldemort on his return.

Were those EVER mentioned in the books?

>Any means
Hopefully that means he can break noses.

It's literally impossible to catch the snitch in this game if the score is 140 in favor of the opposing team though. The seekers have a speed boost meter that is bigger the more goals your team scores, how many passes they complete, how many times they steal the bludger etc.

In this game it's not hard to completely shut down the opposing team and thus completely nullify the opposing seeker's speed boost, making you catching the snitch, well... a snitch.

what a shitty ''''sport''''

I'm American but lived in England as a child and attended a primary school. When you said "jumpers as goal posts" it took me way back. Holy shit thank you user

>who fucking designed this sport?
A woman.

quaffle, not bludger*

REMINDER

This is the real answer.

See, I can get behind people learning the dark arts because they actively seek them out. That's one thing.
But going to the fucking book store and spending 3 bucks on a book is a complete other. That's fucking negligence right there.

...

Is this what happens when you use the dark arts too much?

>no Marauders prequel
Why even live?

God damn it I fucking hated The Internship. Garbage film that was just a glorified puff piece for Google.

I love "Harry Potter is retarded" threads. Although I usually see them on Sup Forums or /lit/

Quiddich was designed as a plot device to make main character cool and give a vent off for the main story. And Rowling was never good with introducing plot devices, since they nearly always inserted plotholes. But in fantasy genre, including contemporary, it's considered part of the course. Even in later books where they'd have some sort of a FIFA shit going on where points were carried over matches and sometimes simple winning wouldn't mean shit without certain score it would only be done for the sake of Harry to be even cooler by fighting enemy seeker and delaying the catch. Doesn't devalue entertainment value of both the books and that game, though.

You're not allowed to bludger the keeper
Read the rules gawd

WE

Well one of them is literally just the first movie.

>philosopher's stone

And people still wonder why they all become nazis.

How do Beaters work in the dumb actual sport?
Do they actually just smack other kids in the head with baseballs or what?

Reminder that the next book is about voldemort's secret lovechild. And time travel.
It ends with them fighting voldemort and his daughter when he's about to kill baby harry
I shit you not.

A fat kid in a yellow t-shirt

Reason why soccer is so popular is because it basically poor men sport. Just find something that remotely spherical, set up a goal or two, and you are set.

>a bunch of children flying meters above ground
>with powerful ball designed to attack and knock them down
>on fucking sticks
>in the country that pretty much bans any schoolyard activity if it has potential to deal minor damage to kids
Gotta love fantasy.

The entire series could have ended with ONE sniper

What if Bane existed in the Harry Potter universe?

As a person who never read the books and is a lazy American shit what is Quidditch supposed to be a combination of? Magic mixed with rugby?

Well it is supposed to represent their complacency. Humans invent shit to achieve things they would not be able to do by themselves. If you can move a huge rock with a flick of your hand there's no point to inventing levels. It's all part of the course for the genre, in sci-fi you're supposed to focus on the logic of the world and how everything in it works, in fantasy you're supposed to focus on characters and the adventure and anything that doesn't make sense supposed to be disregarded because magic. You know, like religious texts.

>Attack and knock them down.

If you were going full speed on your broom and that fucking ball came full speed at you directly, it would knock your head clean off your fucking shoulders.

...

>No 'choose your own adventure' demi-sandbox game set in Victorian England where you play as a Hogwarts student and go on your own adventures
>Where you can get sorted into different houses, pick friends, choose additional classes like muggle studies in your third year on, etc.
>With Claudia Black playing a Slytherin Professor

Was there even a single aspect of Magical Britain government that wasn't incompetent, corrupt or outright malicious? The whole system deserved to be broken down and rebuilt from scratch

>The entire series could have ended with ONE Wizard with any gun at all
Not like they could just apparate into a gunstore and take one.
Were they all incredibly stupid and self-centered? Obviously none of them know shit all about muggles. I'd have all kinds of guns enchanted to shit, infinite ammo machine guns with magically cooled barrels, insta-kill BB guns, hell. Anti-Aircraft paper planes with missiles.

A bit of everything. They have the goalposts and a ball you carry to them, they have two guys with a bat(just one, they're supposed to share) that can send an attack ball at other players to knock them off the brooms, and they have one tiny ball that is really hard to catch but it ends the game and gives your team 15x of a goal score.

The Harry Potter world is boring shit if you aren't Harry Potter

Wizard crackers were, I remember Dumbledore wearing one of the fancy hats

That GBC game was my fucking jam

What the hell happened to JK Rowling after book 4?

>Beloved characters dying in horrible agony
>Harry becomes a fucking asshole
>Oh and Dumbledore was gay LOL

>F1 doens't have standardised horses

you don't say!

When will people stop pretending that HP-verse has any kind of consistent worldbuilding and lore? Basically everything outside of Hogwarts was self-contradicting bullshit Rowling made when the plot demanded

Except F1 is getting more and more standardized every fucking year. Pretty much only difference between the cars nowadays is the engine and even that you're not allowed to make more powerful than a certain level.

Nah, more like every book was self-contained. That's how you figured out the mystery, back when the series was about that.

>Hermione is literally black now

>Beloved characters dying in horrible agony
Who was that? Only deaths I remember were Diggory, who nobody gave a fuck about and Black, who was just thrown into death portal. Though there's been a whole bunch of deaths in the last book, but at that point she just set up a shooting range.

-0
>>not 151-0
jesus how bad are you at this game? no wonder you lost.

Obviously not thinking as much as you Jesus Christ.

I've never gotten why they don't try and use Muggle technology instead of magic for some thibgs.

They're racists and retarded.

Why did they make the only way to score points in intervals of 10?
They could have easily just made the Quaffle worth 1 point and the Snitch worth 15

Wizards aren't that smart

Bigger numbers are cooler.

It became "young adult".