Cassie, did I ever tell you about the time, it was many times actually...

>Cassie, did I ever tell you about the time, it was many times actually, I shot and killed literally hundreds of people just to get some gold? I didn't ever get the gold, but I did get away with everything.

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It's almost like uncharted is a parody of over the top action movies where there are no consequences for murdering henchmen.

Henchman aren't real people. We've known this since the early days of Bond.

> It's ok though, they were all brown and poor so they don't matter

she's kinda cute

>that's really dorky and embarrassing
>never mention it around my friends

And it's now that we're supposed to take them emotionally serious?

At least Hollywood has the common sense to provide a backstory to its characters instead of dropping you in on some bullshit. Uncharted never thought the audience was smart enough to ask why for ANYTHING. God that's bullshit.

LITERALLY

They do get the gold though. Why do you think they pose around giant chests of pirate booty for a picture.

Cause they got the first noncursed treasure they found and kept it.

Reminds me of Ellie from TLOU but with longer hair.

The SFM artists would have a field day with her.

Did Nate ever actually murder anyone though? I'm pretty sure every single person in the series you kill is always trying to kill you first.

Yes, much like George Zimmerman, Nate did not technically commit murder.

WHERE'S THE TEXTURE FILTERING NAUGHTY DOG?!? WHERE IS IT?!?!?

You kill an unsuspecting museum security guard in uncharted 2.

I want to fuck her throat pussy so fucking bad...

Are you talking about the one you toss off the roof? If you watch closely you see him swim away safely in the water. It's unrealistic, sure, but they made sure that Nate didn't kill an innocent person

ZimZam should have stayed in the fucking car but TrayTray caused his own death by trying to be a tough hoodrat

nate committing armed robbery and trying to claim it's not murder because the security guards had guns and he dindu nuffin lol

Considering the huge amount of ellie and sarah SFM porn I'm sure someone is working on extracting her model as we speak

...

not even I have cankles that thick and im almost 160lbs

>walking out of the house barefoot
I've never done something so repulsing in a video game.

footfags are subhuman

...

#henchmenlivesmatter

Because no other games exist where you brutally murder hundreds a faceless goons.

>mfw I kill a camp of bandits in Witcher 3 and find an unsent letter one of them wrote to his wife and kids.

Like Uncharted could be better without all the shooting and killing...

Wait... It probably would be actually. The shooting segments is fucking terrible made worse by the fact that enemies both can dodge and absorb bullets like a sponge in the matrix, always give you hardly any ammo even though they have been firing at you for 5 straight minutes and start firing grenades out of their ass of you stay in one spot for more than 5 seconds. All made worse by the cinematic nature of the game. It is like some asshole pausing a movie at the climax and rewinding it to just before the action starts several times before letting you proceed with the film.

Point is OP, you're still a faggot.

>Plays the action hero movie shtick straight
>A parody
Its not a parody just because it's like Indiana Jones instead of Die Hard

never ever suggests there's any parody going on. the story stays as grounded as possible given the gameplay, all dialogue is boring and meant to be emotionally involving. the story is played straight for dramatic effect. humor is dad joke tier at best. pretty sure naughty dog are just really trite, generic writers

she said she didn't give a shit

we need thoose models in SFM right away

i want to see her, getting fucked by that dog

wtf you can use skins in these cutscenes?

the dog is a girl you stupid fuck now fuck off

yes

>providing you with alternate costumes
>not including bikinis for Elena and Cassie
Huge missed opportunity.

>SJWs remove donut drake

fuck man could have been great. But hurr guess people cant be fat

dog stap-ons

hurts

that exists?

bingo

Its because they are Nazis, so its okay.

who gives a shit

He was killing PMC it was OK.

They shot first

>originally Drake and Elena had a sun
>was changed into a daughter after the heads of ND took the whole feminism in gaming shit to heart
>Sony Santa Monica don't give a fuck and gives Kratos a son because it actually fits

They're adults, they... made their choice.
youtu.be/h10awRUVgYg?t=59m13s

>hear about how game cutscenes will be in game
>excited to play as Donut Drake on 2nd playthrough to view all cutscenes again with him.
>he's not in the game anywhere
>look on google
>Neil Druckmann who went full SJW retard mode explains why Donutdrake isn't in

Fug.

Worst part is she ressembles neither parent
I mean look at that fucking jew nose

i will kill you

>Nate... it's time to have the talk
>Alright, listen here, sweetie. Your mother and I used to kill people. Lots of them. Hell, I've probably snapped more necks than you've got points on your video game thing. Killing people and taking their treasure was our bread and butter, and our wealth and fame was built on this - and now you know. Point is, you should've kept your nosy, fat face out of our business, but you never listen. I swear, you really must be fucking retarded, I wish your mother would've listened to me when I told her you should've been aborted. But don't you think you can dictate terms to us, or I'll gut you like I gutted those indigenous savages that thought they could get between me and my treasure.
>That's right, honey. And don't even think about calling the cops. Who do you think they'd believe? The rich, famous and respected archaeology couple? Or their little attention seeking slut daughter? Never mind that we own the police as well. And we own you, don't you forget it. Din din in 10, sweetie.

This really seemed quite out of place and very dark all of a sudden, especially as the ending to the otherwise comfy epilogue. I wonder what they were going for here.

na its fine

>I..it.. it's a parody, I swear

>dat feel when we'll never see Lazarević just completely hulk rage smash her

also no Donut costumes because it'd be sizeist

you sound so retarded

C U C K E D
U
C
K
E
D

youtube.com/watch?v=SE6jy78tV78

But it is. Drake kills dudes with a single punch, climbs like Spiderman and wins 20:1 firefights. Also quips after killing people.

>Iwannafuckthathorse.jpg

"Letting my wife fuck Tyrone is no worse than porn" -Maddox

LANGUAGE!

>linking irrelevant cuckdox

> 7777 comments
Checked

Confirming to genre stereotypes is not a parody. Uncharted barely had any sense of self-awareness and each new game strips what little it had.

for those hoping for some r34 anytime soon just remember how fucking rare r34 of Elena and Chloe are, much less quality r34 of em

All that and him and his bro can't even take down one female nigaboo

>Nate doesn't use glasses
>Elena doesn't use glasses

So why does this little prick use glasses, other than catering my glasses fetish?

I don't care how long it takes. Someone needs to rip her model to SFM so we can see her post-9/11 lolibutt get violently destroyed by dicks

""""""Female""""""

What is the best bonus render and why is it rainbow fun land?

Fuck naught dog for removing fat nigga Drake. He was my favorite to play as. Fuck this no fun allowed "" """"culture "" """"

God of War is the superior PS franchise for having the balls to go against industry standards and give the main character a son

you know full well when the idea was first pitched their was someone in the room trying their damnedest to give a good reason why Kratos 2nd child should be another daughter.

Who cares?

I never played as Donut Drake. Is it as good as it sounds?

fun to use for a shits and giggles run through the singleplayer.

Fun to kill someone as Donut Drake or any other donut character in the multiplayer.

No idea why but it just is.

Except, you're omitting the fact that Nate didn't kill them in cold-blood to get some treasure. He was out to get some treasure and henchmen were trying to kill him in cold-blood and he acted in self-defense. Nate did literally nothing wrong.

IMO being a walking cliché counts as self awareness.

>Uncharted never thought the audience was smart enough to ask why for ANYTHING
Were they wrong?

>hundreds of hired goons constantly trying to kill Nate and his friends
>Nate and his friends shoot back and kill in self defense EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

ISN'T NATE SUCH A MURDERER??? THE GUY ISNT EVEN LIKABLE SINCE HE'S CONSTANTLY KILLING!

Holy shit I've gotta play this game

You should send them an angry letter about their horrible fat-shaming actions

>Nate goes onto someone's private property (Scotland)
>proceeds to murder all the guards there for no reason other than Sam being a lying cunt

Then there's all the previous games where Nate could have just thrown away some piece of treasure to make sure nobody ever finds what he's looking for.

Face it, Drake's a fucking killer. If you willingly put yourself in situations where people might shoot at you you are a killer.

It's not a parody if it is over the top action movie.

why is he wearing a suit?

If you turn on cell shading and give every character suits and dresses, would this be the closest thing to Archer the Game?

Are there any games that actually deal with the fact that the protagonist has murdered 500 people during the game?

No.

One thing I wish they would have touched on is how Nate is able to live with taking that many lives. Or even how he reacted after killing his first guy.
I know he accidently pushed one of Marlowe's men off of a roof in 3, but that doesn't really count.

The lack of Rule 34 for Uncharted, as well as for Western games as a whole really cements the fact that these games have absolutely no lasting impact on the industry at all. I mean honestly who even talks about how the Uncharted games play and what the story is even like beyond shitflinging review scores?

That would have been interesting. I enjoy all the games, but the stories are very generic. The serve as a good excuse to move to different locations, that's it.

Most of Hollywood action backstories are "my job made me do bad things and now bad guys are angry! Oh no, my wife/bro/daughter/president is in danger, now I'm angry too!" though.

Yeah. I think Yahtzee hit it on the fucking head when he said the games have used the "the real treasure was with him all along" nonsense for three fucking games and he hasn't learned a thing between them. So no, it doesn't excuse him being a mass murderer. He didn't have to be there either, and all he wanted was gold.

>no porn means the games have absolutely no lasting impact on the industry at all.

You weebs are so fucking delusional holy shit

MGS 3 did it with The Sorrow which was affected by how many people you've killed throughout the game. Spec Ops tried to do it but it was rather hamfisted.

...

what will be naughty dog's reaction when the SFM porn comes out?

Amazing weeb logic. You forget the west doesnt have a bunch of sex depraved artists who jump on the newest fapbait material from your substandard nip games.

"Wow, white gamers still need a lot of growing up."

The only time in the entire trilogy where he was truly killing in self defense only was the first chapter of the first game. After that if Nate hadn't been there or had just stopped fucking around then the villains wouldn't even have gotten close to finding what they wanted.

But they don't. Seriously, try and start a conversation with an Uncharted fan and ask them what they liked about the games themselves, how they liked the story, characters and how they play. There's none of those memorable story moments that everyone remembers you see in other iconic games, it's just generic garbage.

Yahtzee is fucking retard because he always bring race in for no fucking reason in all 4 Uncharted """"""reviews"""""".

'nathan drake is le white and kills brown people. why is this okay? xDD'

And don't give me that, "it's only for humor" bullshit. Who's laughing?